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Default Black Friday: THINKING of the CHILDREN! - 11-25-2011, 04:21 PM


Latest on Black Friday frenzy

9:17 am - Check the live updates on how to navigate the malls and roads:



Are YOU? I notice that a few of our Godlier Members are not in this queue!

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Default Re: Black Friday: THINKING of the CHILDREN! - 11-25-2011, 04:26 PM

This just in. Even God-less jooyawkas are giving it all for Jesus, Country, and Walmart Are YOU?!

2 hurt, 1 arrested at Wal-Mart store in upstate NY


Published: 8:01 AM - 11/25/11
Last updated: 8:02 AM - 11/25/11

ROME, N.Y. (AP) -- Police say two women have been injured and a man has been charged after a fight broke out at an upstate New York Wal-Mart store that had just let Black Friday shoppers into its electronics department.
The Oneida County Sheriff's Office tells Post-Standard of Syracuse that several fights erupted around 12:01 a.m. Friday near a cell phone display in the electronics department at the Wal-Mart in Rome, 35 miles east of Syracuse.
Officials tell the newspaper that some shoppers were pushed to the floor and several fights broke out.
Related Stories


Deputies say two women from Rome suffered back injuries in the melee.
Police say a Rome man has been charged with disorderly conduct. Deputies say charges are pending against other people.
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Default Re: Black Friday: THINKING of the CHILDREN! - 11-25-2011, 05:11 PM

The Black Friday sale I decided to have in the gun store has been going well so far.

I didn't open at midnight, as no decent people are out at midnight except big black rapists.

I still have a lot of bargain guns if you need something for the kids!

Though I suspect that there won't be any fights breaking out in my gun shop...



The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
- Proverbs 15:3

CHILDREN'S STORY: TIMMY ON TRIAL


CHRISTIAN ADVICE AND MESSAGES OF HOPE! GOD'S GREATEST HITS!


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Default Re: Black Friday: THINKING of the CHILDREN! - 11-25-2011, 05:16 PM

The entire Hutchins brood has gathered together (except me, of course), trundled onto the Plantation busses and are off to the stores. I had each child withdraw half their savings with the instruction that I would give half to God via the Landover Pastors Special fund and the other half was to be spent wisely. Last year, they got me a GT40, used of course. No need to be greedy.

Pastor Ezekiel, I'll be flying out to Vegas for the Annual 'Landover Tithers Christmas Celebration' at the Bellagio. The kids have provided sufficient funds for a first class ticket, a five room suite and sundry expenses. As usual, my nieces, Sandi And Mandi (they are squealing with excitement at seeing Rev. Osborne) will be coming along, as well as my boy you were so fond of, Elijah. He is telling me he does not want to go. I think he is afraid of being in a airplane so close to the power of Jesus. So he may be real groggy from sedatives. Will it be OK if he stays in your suite. It would mean the world to the young man, I am sure.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Black Friday: THINKING of the CHILDREN! - 11-25-2011, 05:47 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
I'll be flying out to Vegas for the Annual 'Landover Tithers Christmas Celebration' at the Bellagio.
Brother James, might I please, I say, please, I say, PLEASE be your stewardess?

I'll greet all with: "Fly the Friendly Skies of God and JESUS!"
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Default Re: Black Friday: THINKING of the CHILDREN! - 11-25-2011, 09:20 PM

Sister SUV, you can fly with me anytime! It would be heavenly to be saving sinners with you at the craps table, hearing the bells and seeing the lights at the machines of the unwashed.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Black Friday: THINKING of the CHILDREN! - 11-26-2011, 06:20 AM

Is "black Friday" another one of those fake nigra holidays?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Black Friday: THINKING of the CHILDREN! - 11-26-2011, 06:53 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob4God View Post
The Black Friday sale I decided to have in the gun store has been going well so far.

I didn't open at midnight, as no decent people are out at midnight except big black rapists.

I still have a lot of bargain guns if you need something for the kids!

Though I suspect that there won't be any fights breaking out in my gun shop...
Can you post me one to the UK? It would make a great present for my son. It might make it simpler if you write 'TELESCOPE - FRAGILE' on the packing.

YIC


Jack


Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.



I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.
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Default Re: Black Friday: THINKING of the CHILDREN! - 11-26-2011, 10:00 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Is "black Friday" another one of those fake nigra holidays?
There seems to be some dispute about the origins of the name "Black Friday. Some people say it's because that's the one day that stores can be sure that they are in the black, since they're so busy. Another theory says it's the employees in the stores who call it that, since they hate having to work so hard. But actually, it has to do with the workers at my company's prison factories in China, who die like flies preparing for Black Friday - just last month, we lost about 12,000 from exhaustion and suicide.Fortunately, we were able to get our friends in the Chinese police and military to recruit a new batch of 12,000 prisoners, so our production schedule was barely interrupted.

As you may have heard, Lt John Pike of UC Davis pepper-spray fame was recently put on paid "administrative leave," and so headed down to L.A. and Tijuana for some well-deserved recreation. While dressed in drag (clever disguise!) and doing a little "competitive shopping" at an L.A. Wal-Mart, he decided to disperse the crowd of unruly shoppers who, he said, made him "feel threatened".

Walmart Pepper Spray: Woman Injures 20 Shoppers Waiting for Black Friday Deals At Los Angeles Store


Lt Pike Practicing for Black Friday Wal-Mart Shopping


Lt Pike in drag at Wal-Mart

As a result of this incident, we've seen a great upsurge in orders for pepper spray. My marketing department is working on a brand for children (with pictures of the Disney characters on the container). We'll be doing adverts on all the cartoon kiddie shows. We've even got some product placement planned for an upcoming episode of "Sesame Street," where Elmo pepper sprays Big Bird. Donald Duck Pepper Spray be at least as popular as our Santa Claus Tasers were last year.

I just love Christmas.


Praise Jesus!
Brother Fred
CEO, The Uranus Corporation
Put your faith in Uranus!


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Default Re: Black Friday: THINKING of the CHILDREN! - 11-26-2011, 02:19 PM

...and a Joyeax Noel to ALL! Now, who could possibly be a God-Damned dirty atheist in this Great Nation on this Blessed Day?

Pastor Ezekiel, am I Forgiven for speaking "Surrender Monkey" on this Godly board?
Worse yet, it might bring forth the spectre of Gomez Addams

EXPERIENCE THE JOY!!!!!




...and I think Dora Denkins had better get out of my CHRISTIAN way before I step on her or something
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Default Re: Black Friday: THINKING of the CHILDREN! - 11-26-2011, 11:14 PM

Jingle All the Way meets Michael Crichton's Congo! As usual, Black Friday this year was a goldmine of gut-busting TNB.



Oh lawdy. You'd be safer running around Tehran in a crotchless gimp suit than getting caught between those Nubian queens. A crotchless gimp suit made of pork, even. Hoo lawdy lawd.


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Default Re: Black Friday: THINKING of the CHILDREN! - 11-26-2011, 11:21 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Virginia D. Templeton View Post
JAs usual, Black Friday this year was a goldmine
I'll say! I never would have dreamt that the demand for the Chick Tracts I was passing out would get so out of hand

Lots of Souls Saved for 2012 now, and Bless You letting everyone know about my small effort towards Total World Christianization
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Default Re: Black Friday: THINKING of the CHILDREN! - 11-27-2011, 04:34 PM

No matter how civilized we've tried to make them, those darkies still have that African tribal rage in them. Such simple minded creatures!


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