Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow. |
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Ex-hero, almost honorably discharged
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Obama's toast-detector is spying on me! -
04-11-2011, 10:52 PM
I just aquired some money (unrelated to my charity work) which means that this summer I won't have to live outside, nor will I risk overstaying my welcome at anyone's house this winter. I've got an apartment!
My problem, though, is a suspicious-looking piece of electronic equipment which comes with the room. It's up on the ceiling, like a camera, but it's not a camera. Now and then it sets off a burglar alarm, but not when I'm being burgled, or being visited by likely criminals. (I haven't even seem a mexican on this side of the street.) In fact, if only sets off the alarm when I make toast. It's some sort of toast-alarm.
So I told the landlord that I wanted the object removed, but he said it has to be there, something about regulations or something. Now THAT gets me suspicious. Didn't Glenn Beck say something about Obama installing secret spy devices in our homes? So that if we think the wrong thoughts, or cook the wrong food, he can send us to that gitmo place he set up?
I don't know why Obama hates toast. Maybe because it's a white man's invention and that humiliates him. You'd think taking a white thing and turning it into a brown thing is just the sort of thing he likes, but I guess he hates anything that isn't soofoo.
What's your advice for legally dealing with this threat to liberty?
Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 02-03-2013 at 04:51 PM.
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
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Re: Obama's toast-detector is spying on me! -
04-11-2011, 11:18 PM
It sounds like you are being persecuted by the liberal goons of the New World Order. The best way to deal with them is to pray to Jesus and remember that you will be whisked up in the Rapture before they get a chance to truly defile you.
They may be reading your mind. The alarm may have nothing to do with toast directly, but something to do with what you think about when you make toast. Tell me, do you think about Jesus when you make toast? They could be trying to distract you from thoughts of salvation. That is after all what the NWO is all about. Satan!
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Winning Souls in his Winnebago
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Re: Obama's toast-detector is spying on me! -
04-11-2011, 11:27 PM
You are correct to be so concerned, socialists spying on you to make sure you don't have more than the others. First control your food then go after your basic rights like owning a gun or 10 and limiting the size of the vehicle you drive. You are correct, it is time to step up and tell big government to ''Let go of my Eggo''!
1 Chronicles 16:15
Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.
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True Christian™
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Re: Obama's toast-detector is spying on me! -
04-11-2011, 11:46 PM
"Control oil and you control nations; control food and you control the people." -Henry Kissinger, 1970
WAKE UP AMERICA! WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!!!!!11
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Ex-hero, almost honorably discharged
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Re: Obama's toast-detector is spying on me! -
04-12-2011, 08:39 PM
Well, rather than cooking my toast well-done, I'm cooking it rare now. I'm sneaking under the radar! Take that, NWO ACORNographers!
Now, for decorating my new apartment. Anybody know if they still make these:
I'd like to have mine labeled " Sherri". Maybe I can get a smaller one for Brandi, I totally winged her.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
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Re: Obama's toast-detector is spying on me! -
04-12-2011, 09:22 PM
I'm pretty sure what you're talking about is called a Smoke Detector. It's used to detect smoke and alarm you incase of a fire. That's why it goes off when you make toast sometimes. It detects the smoke from the toast.
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
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Re: Obama's toast-detector is spying on me! -
04-12-2011, 10:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Soldier4God
I'm pretty sure what you're talking about is called a Smoke Detector. It's used to detect smoke and alarm you incase of a fire. That's why it goes off when you make toast sometimes. It detects the smoke from the toast.
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Your credibility is so low that I wouldn't be surprised if you were one of the liberal goons or RINOs covering up NWO activities such as these. But in all likelihood you are just stupid.
There are cameras in most homes built after 1969, and tracking devices in clothes and automobiles made after 1980. You are living inside a dream where there is no Hell, no conspiracy, no mind control technology... spread your NWO lies somewhere else.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Electrified by Jesus
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Re: Obama's toast-detector is spying on me! -
04-12-2011, 11:22 PM
Yes I knew Obama was spying on us! Those spying devices look like this:
They are nasty little buggers. Not only do they send Obama video and audio of everything I am doing. They also make a lot of noise when I am smoking or when my mom is cooking dinner. The weird thing is that every time I smash one, in a few days there will be a new one. No wonder my mom has to pay so much taxes.
I also found this:
It's clearly something Obama will use to detonate our house remotely. Just to be sure, I smashed it to pieces.
And this one:
Clearly something Obama will use to remotely burn our house down. It even has a flame on it. Smashed it to pieces as well.
I have to stop posting now, it has been very cold in our house lately. I think it has something to do with Japan.
Bob's mom: "Bob is 'special' and unemployed but otherwise a catch!"
John 20:29: "...blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed."
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Re: Obama's toast-detector is spying on me! -
04-13-2011, 01:29 AM
It think the first versions of those "smoke detectors" really were just that.
Then Obama was elected. They started inserting tiny cameras into the smoke detectors.
I understand they are partly for liberal spying and partly for pornographic viewing. The Obama people love both.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
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Re: Obama's toast-detector is spying on me! -
04-13-2011, 01:36 AM
It is the liberal shadow government that planted bombs in the Twin Towers and trained Al-Qaeda to be homosexuals!
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Ex-hero, almost honorably discharged
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Re: Obama's toast-detector is spying on me! -
04-13-2011, 06:09 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Techno Bob
And this one:
Clearly something Obama will use to remotely burn our house down. It even has a flame on it. Smashed it to pieces as well.
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Wait, I'd know that blinding 12:00 anywhere. That's a thermostat.
I remember, because the ONE time I had another kid over for a sleepover, (before he cancelled because the cats gave him assmar) he said "what's thing thing?" and started poking at it. I told him to stop poking it, and then I forgot about the whole thing (my short term memory isn't as good as my long term memory). Next day my Mom accuses me of turning the temperature up to rediculous temperatures. I deny, and she insists, and then...
Well, know you know whenever someone calls me a son-of-a-bitch I say, "I know". That harpie, when I was 3 she still walked arounf naked and didn't bother to close the bathroom door, she totally knew I would end up remembering that, the evil, hairy
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Confirmed Enemy of God
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Re: Obama's toast-detector is spying on me! -
04-15-2011, 03:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins
It is the liberal shadow government that planted bombs in the Twin Towers and trained Al-Qaeda to be homosexuals!
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You mean the bush administration?
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Re: Obama's toast-detector is spying on me! -
04-15-2011, 08:25 PM
Brother Trent, I am worried for you! (and for everyone else with this device) But I wonder, does it only react to toast or any kind of food? Maybe Obama wants to starve the Americans to death or something?
Could you try to cook something else? I know it's much to ask but... I would like to know if it just reacts to toast or everything. I am sorry for bothering you.
Yours in Christ
Elisabeth
Proverbs 14:1
Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.
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Ex-hero, almost honorably discharged
True Christian™
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Re: Obama's toast-detector is spying on me! -
04-15-2011, 09:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pure_Angel
Could you try to cook something else? I know it's much to ask but...
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Cook? I'm not a woman.
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Re: Obama's toast-detector is spying on me! -
04-15-2011, 09:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trent Harvey, Jr.
Cook? I'm not a woman.
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I know, it was a strange thought, I wasn't thinking before posting again... can you maybe invite a woman who can cook for you? I think this is very serious...
Yours in Christ
Elisabeth
Proverbs 14:1
Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
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Re: Obama's toast-detector is spying on me! -
04-15-2011, 10:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Soldier4God
You mean the bush administration?
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No. The liberal shadow government did it knowing that the president is the usual suspect. That's why they dangle a president in front of us, so they can remain blameless.
Edit: the Antichrist is behind it all, and everyone knows the Antichrist is a liberal.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
Last edited by Billy Bob Jenkins; 04-15-2011 at 10:18 PM.
Reason: important datum for the unsaved.
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
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Re: Obama's toast-detector is spying on me! -
04-15-2011, 11:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins
No. The liberal shadow government did it knowing that the president is the usual suspect. That's why they dangle a president in front of us, so they can remain blameless.
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I hear the Obama regime pretty much turned Bush into his puppet in 2005. Bush was just to nice of a guy and not willing to play hardball like the liberals will. Pretty unfair all the lies they tell about Bush but he is to much of a gentleman to fight back.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Re: Obama's toast-detector is spying on me! -
04-15-2011, 11:07 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe
I hear the Obama regime pretty much turned Bush into his puppet in 2005. Bush was just to nice of a guy and not willing to play hardball like the liberals will. Pretty unfair all the lies they tell about Bush but he is to much of a gentleman to fight back.
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Such a peaceful man.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Hates Obama. Really Hates Obama. Actually, REALLY REALLY REALLY Hates Obama.
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Re: Obama's toast-detector is spying on me! -
04-16-2011, 12:06 AM
Brother Trent, have you tried pumpernickel bread?
Obama's toast-detectors are known to remain silent no matter how black you burn that bread.
But whosoever shall deny me before men,
him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.
~Matt. 10:33
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Theme song in hell: "I Did it My Way"
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Re: Obama's toast-detector is spying on me! -
04-18-2011, 02:31 AM
You do know the Bush family are close friends of the Bin Laden family don't you?
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