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Default Re: Don't Microwave Baby!!! - 11-30-2006, 01:36 PM

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Originally Posted by Sister Sue Vera View Post
Pastor, I have another question: When is it Murder and when is it Insanity? Because when these women go to court to say that God told them to do it, obviously He will have more Class than to appear in a boring old courtroom to Testify on the Witness stand as to either yea or nay! - so how will the judge affirm that this woman actually did hear a voice straight from God?

Is it because The Good Lord never shows up to Testify that these Mothers are then automatically judged insane?
Sister Sue, insanity is not recognized as a legal defense in the Holy Bible. In the Book of Mark, Jesus' Disciples seem to think He is insane:

Mark 3:21 And when his friends heard of it, they went out to lay hold on him: for they said, He is beside himself.

But nowhere does the Bible offer insanity as a way of slithering out of responsibility for breaking God's laws. That is just another liebral jew-lawyer trick to get satan's followers off the hook for the crimes they commit.

If God tells the occasional female to eat her own young, then who are we to put her on trial? After all, it is not without Biblical precedent:

"So we boiled my son, and did eat him." Women killed, boiled and ate their own children because of a plague that God sent, or as the Bible puts it: "Behold, this evil is of the Lord." 2 Kings 6:28-29, 33

Praise Jesus!!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Don't Microwave Baby!!! - 11-30-2006, 03:12 PM

Oh, my Good God: Sweet Jesus was "beside himself?"

So what if he was...this way...? when He handed down some of our more unSavory Rules for Living?!

Does this mean that, for the Biblical Restrictions that I find, uh, "less than heartwarming" I can occasionally disregard these, as perhaps He was in yet another stuporous state due to drinking Wine?

But we must Worship Him anyway!......JUST BECAUSE!!!

Aha! I think I've stumbled upon something here!
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Default Re: Don't Microwave Baby!!! - 11-30-2006, 09:10 PM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
According to the Bible, the first thirty days of a child's life don't count. You have that long to feed it to the muslims or toss it down a well. Between two months and five years of age, you may still kill it but you have to pay a fine. 50 sheckels for a boy, thirty for a girl. After the age of five you can't kill it anymore, but you can sell it.

I hope this helps
Pastor Al
No wonder you're all insane. Would you really eat an innocent newborn?


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Default Re: Don't Microwave Baby!!! - 11-30-2006, 09:12 PM

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No wonder you're all insane. Would you really eat an innocent newborn?
I didn't say anything about EATING it! Good Lord, NO! That's what Mudslums , wickedans and Pagans do!


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Default Re: Don't Microwave Baby!!! - 11-30-2006, 09:23 PM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
I didn't say anything about EATING it! Good Lord, NO! That's what Mudslums , wickedans and Pagans do!
Pagan's don't eat kids...or cats. Good God.


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Default Re: Don't Microwave Baby!!! - 11-30-2006, 09:26 PM

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Pagan's don't eat kids...or cats. Good God.
So do goths. Did I mention goths?


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Default Re: Don't Microwave Baby!!! - 11-30-2006, 11:12 PM

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No wonder you're all insane. Would you really eat an innocent newborn?
If you've ever gone to rotten.com (I certainly haven't!) you'd have found pictures of Hong Kong businessmen eating a near-term Baby ("foetus") in a soup brewed with vegetables and noodles.

Well I didn't cook it! Don't stare at me!
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Default Re: Don't Microwave Baby!!! - 12-01-2006, 12:07 AM

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Pagan's don't eat kids...or cats. Good God.
So you're better than Koreans now, Miss Diversity?

At least you've finally recognized that God is Good.
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Default Re: Don't Microwave Baby!!! - 12-01-2006, 12:07 AM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
So do goths. Did I mention goths?
Mention goths for what? Your food source list?


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Default Re: Don't Microwave Baby!!! - 12-01-2006, 12:11 AM

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Originally Posted by Ixi View Post
Mention goths for what? Your food source list?
For eating Christian babies.


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Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: Don't Microwave Baby!!! - 12-01-2006, 12:13 AM

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Mention goths for what? Your food source list?
Goths are well know for eating their own babies. Christian sociologists have shown this disturbing habit for a long time. Apparently it ties in with the Goth's angst that they can't tolerate anyone more pathetic then they are.



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Default Re: Don't Microwave Baby!!! - 12-20-2006, 06:00 PM

Don't let grandma near baby!
Quote:
Grandmother Puts Infant in Airport X-Ray


LOS ANGELES (Dec. 20) - A Wiccan grandmother "mistakenly" put her 1-month-old grandson through an X-ray machine at Los Angeles International Airport, authorities said.

A startled security worker noticed the shape of a child on the carry-on baggage screening monitor and immediately pulled him out, the Los Angeles Times reported for a story in Wednesday's editions.

The infant was taken to a local hospital, where doctors determined he did not receive a dangerous dose of radiation.

"This was an innocent mistake by an obviously inexperienced cook," said Paul Haney, deputy executive director of airports and security for the city's airport agency. "While we realize that roasting and eating infants is central to the Wiccan religion, an airport x-ray machine is not the same as your microwave oven. It may cause brain damage or cancer, but will not actually cook the child."

The attempted roasting happened early Saturday, airport officials said. "It's possible she was just hungry," an anonymous official commented, "but the timing suggests that she forgot a dish to pass at her Winter Solstice coven potluck, and grabbed something off the shelf . . . her grandson."

Haney said in 1988, an infant in a car seat went through an X-ray machine at the Los Angeles airport. The car seat was unharmed.
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Default Re: Don't Microwave Baby!!! - 12-21-2006, 02:26 AM

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Originally Posted by Sister Sue Vera View Post
If you've ever gone to rotten.com (I certainly haven't!) you'd have found pictures of Hong Kong businessmen eating a near-term Baby ("foetus") in a soup brewed with vegetables and noodles.

Well I didn't cook it! Don't stare at me!
Chinks, satan's children

That's the true reason they want LEGAL ABORTIONS!

So that they can feed their satanic GLUTONY.

PRAY THAT THE LORD KILLS THEM ALL!
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Default Re: Don't Microwave Baby!!! - 12-21-2006, 10:22 AM

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Originally Posted by see_the_light View Post
Chinks, satan's children

That's the true reason they want LEGAL ABORTIONS!

So that they can feed their satanic GLUTONY.

PRAY THAT THE LORD KILLS THEM ALL!
Those chinks never learn. In 2004 GOD finally had enough and sent a glorious earthquake and tsunami down to cleanse
Asia, and yet they ignore the warnings and continue their wicked ways. Who knows what is coming next??


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Default Re: Don't Microwave Baby!!! - 12-21-2006, 10:41 AM

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Those chinks never learn.
No, they don't!

My chink housekeeper, Ching Lee, who has been abusing my kindness since I bought her from her parents, tried to burn down the East wing of the Mansion today by baking cookies for her filthy yellow cousins. Apparently they cooked oven an open fire in her village in China and I cannot explain to her that the oven does not need to be glowing red and emitting smoke before you can cook with it.

When the Fire Department arrived, I suspected the worst and rushed downstairs with my bullwhip but she had already escaped in the Hummer. Fortunately there was no damage.


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Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: Don't Microwave Baby!!! - 12-21-2006, 11:16 AM

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No, they don't!

My chink housekeeper, Ching Lee, who has been abusing my kindness since I bought her from her parents, tried to burn down the East wing of the Mansion today by baking cookies for her filthy yellow cousins. Apparently they cooked oven an open fire in her village in China and I cannot explain to her that the oven does not need to be glowing red and emitting smoke before you can cook with it.

When the Fire Department arrived, I suspected the worst and rushed downstairs with my bullwhip but she had already escaped in the Hummer. Fortunately there was no damage.
I worry about the same sort of thing with my nigress, only she would probably do it accidentally on account of not being able to understand ideas like 'HI' and 'LO' on the range top. Talk about never learning...


Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.


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Default Re: Don't Microwave Baby!!! - 12-21-2006, 02:15 PM

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I worry about the same sort of thing with my nigress, only she would probably do it accidentally on account of not being able to understand ideas like 'HI' and 'LO' on the range top. Talk about never learning...
You guys think you've got problems? Be thankful you don't have a Polack. Their idea of cutting-edge domestic technology is trying to use a mortar and pestle to fly through the skies. Jesus weeps.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Don't Microwave Baby!!! - 12-21-2006, 05:55 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Yes, because the woman, who is merely a vessel, has no choice. Abortions are a sin. Only after the baby is born and the father (or actually ANY man or group of men in the vicinity) look it over for a month for signs of defects, pre-homeristic tendencies (it won't suckle on the dog) and potential male pattern baldness, is it deemed to be alive. But save those 50 sheckels for five years just in case.
But most Baptists have male-pattern baldness!
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Default Re: Don't Microwave Baby!!! - 12-21-2006, 10:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
According to the Bible, the first thirty days of a child's life don't count. You have that long to feed it to the muslims or toss it down a well. Between two months and five years of age, you may still kill it but you have to pay a fine. 50 sheckels for a boy, thirty for a girl. After the age of five you can't kill it anymore, but you can sell it.

I hope this helps
Pastor Al


I need coffee.


Tir'd, and despairing, O celestial maid,
I'm caught, I cry'd, without thy heav'nly aid.
Help me, Diana, help a nymph forlorn,
Devoted to the woods, who long has worn
Thy livery, and long thy quiver born.
- Ovid
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Default Re: Don't Microwave Baby!!! - 01-03-2007, 11:52 AM

That is sick
you should never kill anyone no mater who it is, how old he is, or what he has done (especially children !!)

Last time I checked one of the commandments was: thy shall not kill
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