Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you). |
|
Landover Senior Outreach Touching Men, Women and Children with the Good News!
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 8,237
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Freehold Senior Estates
|
|
My Memoirs As A Gay - By Choice -
08-12-2017, 03:36 AM
My Brothers,
I am writing an autobiography of my time that i wanted to be gay and hated God. But I have some difficulties with proper grammar, syntax and all of that.
First and foremost is my confusion with the word "anus". Not that I have not seen my share, up close and personal. And I will pass through the gates to heaven admitting that I have stabbed and violently sodomized many of them. Most of them unwilling participants in seedy motels. I am so sorry..
But I am coming clean with God. And I want to get my sin off my chest, neck and lower back.
Is the proper American plural word "anuses" or "ani"? I'm hoping my works will be published to save other fags from certain doom.
I will have other questions as I write of my life of filthy homo-rectal intercoursing.
In Him
Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."
|
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 672
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin
|
|
Re: My Memoirs As A Gay - By Choice -
08-12-2017, 09:10 AM
I think most American lexicographers prefer anuses
58 If thou wilt not observe to do all the words of this law that are written in this book, that thou mayest fear this glorious and fearful name, THE LORD THY GOD; 59 Then the LORD will make thy plagues wonderful, and the plagues of thy seed, even great plagues, and of long continuance, and sore sicknesses, and of long continuance. 60 Moreover he will bring upon thee all the diseases of Egypt, which thou wast afraid of; and they shall cleave unto thee. 61 Also every sickness, and every plague, which is not written in the book of this law, them will the LORD bring k upon thee, until thou be destroyed.
Deuteronomy 28: 58- 61
|
|
Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
|
|
Posts: 14,455
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
|
|
Re: My Memoirs As A Gay - By Choice -
08-12-2017, 05:16 PM
I think most American lexicographers don't know the word "lexicographers".
|
|
Unsaved trash, brain on ice
|
|
Posts: 105
Join Date: Apr 2017
|
|
Re: My Memoirs As A Gay - By Choice -
08-12-2017, 05:26 PM
I share your concern about writting properly.
Too bad you don´t have an institution dedicated to oversee english language like we have the Real Academia Española.
In this situation you should change the word completely to avoid confusion.
Why don´t just write butthole?
|
|
Director of the German "Holy-caust" Evangelical Crusade Jesus macht frei
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 5,914
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Black Forrest, Germany
|
|
Re: My Memoirs As A Gay - By Choice -
08-12-2017, 05:39 PM
Maybe we can talk with Mayor Hold to make this book a part of the school teachings. Could be a very intense lesson for our youngsters about the horrors of homosexuality.
|
|
Obese Swedish Meatball Delusional Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 2,207
Join Date: May 2014
Location: On a mountain with a tree and a midgit
|
|
Re: My Memoirs As A Gay - By Choice -
08-12-2017, 07:49 PM
Perhaps you should turn to the Bible. How does God refer to butt holes? My Bible knowledge is limited, I still haven´t finished reading it. Some Bible translation speaks of an ¨Ani¨, it is not the KJV so I doubt you would be interested. All the best with your search for the right answer!
Kind regards,
Roland
Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.
Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.
|
|
Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,395
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Prodigal Son of Godless NYC.
|
|
Re: My Memoirs As A Gay - By Choice -
08-12-2017, 09:12 PM
My Dearest Brother Porter,
What a shining example you are to all men. My young heart rejoiced within my muscled, toned, rippling chest as I read about your upcoming tome.
Some sensitive eyes might be averse to the word a-n-u-s, so like another poster suggested, perhaps you could change the word entirely. "Posteriorly Located Orifice" is easily pluralized, for example, and will make you sound quite brilliant. Being an educated, certified equine gnathologist, I find it quite important to sound brilliant, and I often do.
While I know this book is to be your personal story, do not hesitate to ask for stories of homer men I have known and ministered to if it will help prove a point as you write. I have known many and have brought them to their knees; if it's helpful to you I will share more about it with you.
I am still grateful for your help with my friend Lance. He remains free of unnatural desires and while he still doesn't speak to me, he has a lovely girlfriend now.
In Our Redeemer,
BrotherLarry
PS: I love you.
Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”
Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man. Amen and Amen
|
|
Landover Senior Outreach Touching Men, Women and Children with the Good News!
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 8,237
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Freehold Senior Estates
|
|
Re: My Memoirs As A Gay - By Choice -
08-15-2017, 04:02 AM
Thank you, my Brothers in Christ.
I am working on my prologue. I wish my parents had blessed me with Biblical instruction.
Without the Word of God, I was thrusting at the age of 3. And why not?
Who could blame ME? Is it not predictable to think that a toddler that couples with a teddy bear would eventually anally rape other men?
And I LOVED the gay sex, but only because i hated God. And this is what it is all about.
Hate God? Rectal intercourse.
Love God? No homo activity.
I have a good sense of how I will write my book!
In Christ
Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."
|
|
An old soul
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 5,237
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: USA-UK-France (traveling)
|
|
Re: My Memoirs As A Gay - By Choice -
08-15-2017, 07:28 AM
This book has the makings of a best-seller. Today's America is ready to hear the true story by first person account of a successful gaysexual conversion. Not many know of the depravity you've seen - and perpetrated. It could be an American classic novel, a cross between:
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
and
You Can't Win: the Autobiography of Jack Black
and
The Crucible
These could chronicle the innocence at which you were lured in by homosexual agenda (raping teddy bears at the age of 3!), the depravity and resentment that drove you to continue self-abusing for all those years and finally the bright shining fire of Jesus that cleansed your anus of sin.
|
|
Mayor of Freehold
|
|
Posts: 12,176
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: My Memoirs As A Gay - By Choice -
08-15-2017, 05:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole
This book has the makings of a best-seller. Today's America is ready to hear the true story by first person account of a successful gaysexual conversion. .... the depravity and resentment that drove you to continue self-abusing for all those years and finally the bright shining fire of Jesus that cleansed your anus of sin.
|
I think Brother Porter's book will be the one that turns back to plague of homerism that has infected this country. Those practicing anal sex will see they need not lead such unhappy sinful lives but can find in Jesus the happiness they need.
I'm, of course, always promoting Freehold. I hope the book tour starts here so we can take our rightful place as ground zero for healing homerism through Jesus.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|