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The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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Default Re: Hello, it's good to see you - 02-26-2020, 11:06 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by phucker67 View Post
This is just an idle observation, but I can't help but notice I'm not fairing too kind with the womenfolk of this forum. Do you take issue with my appearance?
Oh, no, not at all, Mr. Hucker; no, no issue is taken there. Well, not as far as your real appearance is concerned, that is, although I will say that your latest photo is not the most welcoming and why you've chosen to use it is beyond me.

We are trying to help you, Dear. That's all. We're trying to help you to study the glorious , so that you will know what is required of you IF you want to avoid the fires of that await you. At your convenience here at , there are many fine forums that are chock-full of very valuable information, and all are provided by our outstanding Pastor and contributors. But, we cannot ensure that you will have a home in Heaven just because you're associating with us. You need to make a commitment to the , and to trust as your only and -- IF you want to avoid spending eternity in . And, it is noted that you have been showing great resistance to our efforts, as we can see by your growing number of medals and infractions. It is these things that are bothering you, and not the "womenfolk".

As for the womenfolk being harder to get along with than the menfolk, I might be biased, but I don't think that that is so. When you've stepped on the toes of some of our menfolk, then you will know -- most definitely -- what is meant by the term "pushback".

Now, then, why don't you open your and learn what Almighty has in store for you? Perhaps you would like to write a brief essay about your personal need of salvation. I'm sure that our members here would be only too thrilled to read it.

II Timothy 2:15 "Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth."


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upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Hello, it's good to see you - 02-26-2020, 11:09 PM

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Originally Posted by Isabella White View Post
Perhaps you would like to write a brief essay about your personal need of salvation. I'm sure that our members here would be only too thrilled to read it.

II Timothy 2:15 "Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth."


I might just take you up on that offer, dear lady. It will take some deep scrutiny and several heart attacks crisis of faith, but it could just well be the most important thing to have manifested from my fingers.
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Default Re: Hello, it's good to see you - 02-26-2020, 11:19 PM

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Originally Posted by phucker67 View Post
I might just take you up on that offer, dear lady. It will take some deep scrutiny and several heart attacks crisis of faith, but it could just well be the most important thing to have manifested from my fingers.
There we are, Mr. Hucker! That's the spirit! Now, I must mention: this is not just a reading and writing assignment. What you must be doing is reading the very closely and carefully, to find out how repentance of your horrible sinful life is critical, IF you wish to avoid the fires of . I'll give you a very important clue here:

Revelation 21:8 "But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death."

Now, then, once you start reading other such blessed passages, you will be able to connect the dots. It is my hope and prayer that your essay will be most uplifting and enriching.

May bless you as you seek .


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upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Hello, it's good to see you - 02-27-2020, 07:14 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isabella White View Post
There we are, Mr. Hucker! That's the spirit! Now, I must mention: this is not just a reading and writing assignment. What you must be doing is reading the very closely and carefully, to find out how repentance of your horrible sinful life is critical, IF you wish to avoid the fires of . I'll give you a very important clue here:

Revelation 21:8 "But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death."

Now, then, once you start reading other such blessed passages, you will be able to connect the dots. It is my hope and prayer that your essay will be most uplifting and enriching.

May bless you as you seek .


That is a good passage to begin with, thank you Sister White. As far as I know, I have not murdered and whoremongered, nor performed sorcery. I do not idol-ate, but merely love and worship the One True Lord, Jesus Christ. And while I strive not to lie, I may have presented fuzzy truths in the past, which are still technically lies, though influenced by ill health. Ooh. So there is that to work on. I think of myself bold, though not to incite the Bible contradicts itself, there is one instance being fearful can be good!

Psalm 111:10

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom: a good understanding have all they that do his commandments: his praise endureth for ever.


From this wise fear, I procedeth further into my understanding.
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Default Re: Hello, it's good to see you - 02-27-2020, 10:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by phucker67 View Post
And while I strive not to lie, I may have presented fuzzy truths in the past, which are still technically lies, though influenced by ill health. Ooh. So there is that to work on. I think of myself bold, though not to incite the Bible contradicts itself, there is one instance being fearful can be good! From this wise fear, I procedeth further into my understanding.
Well, now, let's see here, Mr. Hucker. You have mentioned your illness, which has caused the Spirit of the to speak to me ...

John 16:13 "Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak: and he will shew you things to come."
... and to show me this blessed verse from within the glorious pages of the :

Job 2:7 "So went Satan forth from the presence of the Lord, and smote Job with sore boils from the sole of his foot unto his crown."

Now, it's not like any needs to be reminded of your unsightly sores, but, well, it is most evident that your having such a condition is because of an association with Satan, as the has shown. And, considering your many "medals", it is apparent that you have some serious work to do if you ever wish not to hear those dreaded words, "Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels" (Matthew 25:41).

Do try harder, Mr. Huckster -- I must say, you will have to get up very early to fool the servants of the with "fuzzy truths", here at .


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upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Hello, it's good to see you - 02-29-2020, 01:23 PM

My corona's cleared! I wonder if my rekindling relationship with Christ has anything to do with it. It it worked for me, it could work for America, and the the east countries by default.

https://scoop.upworthy.com/coronavir...tor-rick-wiles
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Default Re: Hello, it's good to see you - 03-01-2020, 04:01 AM

Good evening fellow brothers & sisters in Christ. While I don't fully have an essay fully prepared as per suggested by the radiant Mrs. White, I would like to address some certain matters. I understand ever since my arrival to this beautiful website and church, with all it's wonderful people, I understand I've affected the enjoyment and atmosphere of worship. I regretfully would like to announce foremost, I've had two key losses in my life recently ever since my recovery from the corona infection. My theonomics practice is being audited at this moment, I've lost several key clients who caught wind of my struggles with reaching God's good grace and have thus since withdrew their business. I've also sadly lost my position as head of youth at my church. By some mysterious reason, my monthly call to service bulletin had somehow become mixed up with my camera roll of hospital boil photos (among other private photos from my vacation) that somehow got CC'ed to all the families of the boys in my youth sector. I've been called to tribunal within the committee, and at this moment, an acting-head-of-youth (AHOY) has taken my place.

At the moment, I am sitting at home reflecting on God, and while I have been a very busy man, I've always made time for Landover Baptist. Now I may find myself with more time than ever meditate on my relationship with Jesus Christ. I cannot sulk too long in this state however. A man must keep trucking.

Proverbs 16:27 An ungodly man diggeth up evil: and in his lips there is as a burning fire.

I've been reflecting deep on the Book of Matthew, and while I do not presume to skim past the Old Testement, I have found a kindredness towards the nuggets of wisdom in this particular book.
In regards to my recent developments, I found comfort in His message on loss of worldly livelihood.

Matthew 6:25 Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?

26 Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?

I have been sitting on the verandah with my cat, Glengarry, looking at the birds. (I think he ate one, though I don't quite see the significance of this.)

Matthew 6:34 Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.


I hope for here on out I take on my recent namesake to upchuck the demons and ignorance that has plagued me so long, and find the way to come to Jesus.
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Default Re: Hello, it's good to see you - 03-01-2020, 04:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by upchucker67 View Post
Good evening fellow brothers & sisters in Christ. While I don't fully have an essay fully prepared as per suggested by the radiant Mrs. White, I would like to address some certain matters. I regretfully would like to announce foremost, I've had two key losses in my life recently ever since my recovery from the corona infection.

At the moment, I am sitting at home reflecting on God, and ... I cannot sulk too long in this state however.

I hope for here on out I take on my recent namesake to upchuck the demons and ignorance that has plagued me so long, and find the way to come to Jesus.
Oh, how I am so truly sorry to read of your many recent misfortunes, dear Mr. Hucker. One cannot help but to observe that it appears as though the blessed is issuing a strong rebuke to you, Dear. As it is most evident that you have not yet repented fully of your sins, and that you are still clinging to the things that separate you from , then you shall find that even the patience of the is limited.

Revelation 2:21 "And I gave her space to repent of her fornication; and she repented not."

When this happens, there is little option available to , except to give you some serious lessons for ignoring previous calls to repentance and for rejecting wondrous mercy.

Numbers 32:23 "But if ye will not do so, behold, ye have sinned against the : and be sure your sin will find you out."

Now, Mr. Hucker, before you start on about how you've learned lessons (namely: blah, blah, and blah), might I ask you to kindly look at your growing collection of awards (including two recent ones) that show otherwise, and also to remind you that it appears that our Department of Faith is still investigating you. I must also mention that this investigation is done at the command of Almighty. So, if you have issue here, then that is a sign that the is intervening, to bring you to you a humble, contrite place.

Isaiah 66:2 "For all those things hath mine hand made, and all those things have been, saith the : but to this man will I look, even to him that is poor and of a contrite spirit, and trembleth at my word."

And that brings me to your mentioning the essay topic. You know, reading the carefully, and then writing on topics that you've read will help you greatly to grasp the very serious nature of your perilous situation. I strongly suggest, if you wish to avoid the fires of which you so greatly deserve, that you begin writing a daily diary of your journey through the teachings within the magnificent . We are only too happy to help you with your walk with . But this you must remember: it is YOUR walk. And this can result in YOUR salvation, or YOUR DAMNATION.

Dilly-dally not, Mr. Hucker -- time is of the essence!

Mark 1:15 "And saying, The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand: repent ye, and believe the gospel."

Quote:
Originally Posted by upchucker67 View Post
I have been sitting on the verandah with my cat, Glengarry, looking at the birds. (I think he ate one, though I don't quite see the significance of this.
Might this unfortunate event have been caused by your neglecting to provide adequate nourishment for your kitty, Mr. Hucker?

I Timothy 5:8 "But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel."



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Default Re: Hello, it's good to see you - 03-04-2020, 02:08 AM

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Originally Posted by Isabella White View Post

Dilly-dally not, Mr. Hucker -- time is of the essence!
It's been a short, but banner month. I think after digging into my deepest convictions, I think I am really re-confront Christ and accept Him. (And really mean it this time.)

I'm ready to dip my sinful nose deep in the musty cracks of my aunt's old family Bible KJV and really take in the Truth!

I would like to call upon my fellow brothers and sisters to assist in this glorious proclamation for Our Lord Jesus Christ and witness to my return to his bosom that transfigures you and me.

I will pray soon I will outshine my current collection of awards with some of certain valor.

Praise to Him!
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Default Re: Hello, it's good to see you - 03-06-2020, 02:51 PM

Quick question,

I bumped my head this morning while lifting the lawn-mower out of storage. Stupid low-lying pine beams. > I fell backward and when I came to, I saw stars ...and then I think I saw Jesus. Is this a sign of my forming salvation? My come to Jesus moment?
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Default Re: Hello, it's good to see you - 03-06-2020, 03:00 PM

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Originally Posted by upchucker67 View Post
Quick question,

I bumped my head this morning while lifting the lawn-mower out of storage. Stupid low-lying pine beams. > I fell backward and when I came to, I saw stars ...and then I think I saw Jesus. Is this a sign of my forming salvation? My come to Jesus moment?
"Quick" question? Don't you mean, "trick" question, Mr. Huckster? No, I am afraid that your falling backward did not make you see the blessed -- unless He was rebuking you for going yappity yap yap yappity. Surely, you've had enough infraction notices as it is, Dear. Do you really need another one for telling yet another fib?


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Default Re: Hello, it's good to see you - 03-06-2020, 03:04 PM

Ah, but you see, maybe it is you -- dear Ms. White, whose trying to test me? Just as God tests us every day.

Proverbs 3:

26 For theLordshall be thy confidence, and shall keep thy foot from being taken.



And lo -- my foot was not taken! Thankfully in my stumble, I did not get ensnared in the garden hose near by.
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Default Re: Hello, it's good to see you - 03-06-2020, 03:14 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by upchucker67 View Post
Ah, but you see, maybe it is you -- dear Ms. White, whose trying to test me? Just as God tests us every day.

Proverbs 3:

26 For theLordshall be thy confidence, and shall keep thy foot from being taken.

And lo -- my foot was not taken! Thankfully in my stumble, I did not get ensnared in the garden hose near by.
No, Dear, I am not testing you. The only testing that I am about to do is to see if my pumpkin-spice bundt cake has finished baking.

You certainly do have some trying times, I must say, Mr. Hucker. What with bumping your head, falling backward, pretending to have visions, and then almost getting your foot tangled in the hose, I mean, has anybody ever suggested to you that you might be accident-prone? Might you consider recuperation and respite at a rest home somewhere? You might benefit greatly from a stay in a hospice for a few days -- and there, you would have the peace and quiet that you need when working on your writing assignment!


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Default Re: Hello, it's good to see you - 03-07-2020, 04:18 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isabella White View Post

You certainly do have some trying times, I must say, Mr. Hucker. What with bumping your head, falling backward, pretending to have visions, and then almost getting your foot tangled in the hose, I mean, has anybody ever suggested to you that you might be accident-prone? Might you consider recuperation and respite at a rest home somewhere? You might benefit greatly from a stay in a hospice for a few days -- and there, you would have the peace and quiet that you need when working on your writing assignment!
Yes, unfortunately, my family history has often be a tad accident prone. I reflect on the instance of my Great-Uncle Constable Fred Hucker. He was stationed one Sunday to lead a group of school children to a baptism, only thanks to his poor eyesight, he led the children to a lead paint factory instead of the church. Poor PC Hucker and all the children were lost to a toxic vat. This last photo taken of my Great-Uncle and the wretched kids he led sits above my desk as a reminder to myself to be careful!


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Default Re: Hello, it's good to see you - 03-07-2020, 06:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by upchucker67 View Post
Yes, unfortunately, my family history has often be a tad accident prone. I reflect on the instance of my Great-Uncle Constable Fred Hucker. He was stationed one Sunday to lead a group of school children to a baptism, only thanks to his poor eyesight, he led the children to a lead paint factory instead of the church. Poor PC Hucker and all the children were lost to a toxic vat. This last photo taken of my Great-Uncle and the wretched kids he led sits above my desk as a reminder to myself to be careful!
Dear help us, Mr. Hucker! Well, if being accident-prone runs in your family, and if you are keeping a photo of your uncle and the children as a reminder to be careful, and considering your many misfortunes, then I do hope that you will not mind my saying that the intended effect of that photo is not working -- not at all!

One wonders if you might consider the benefits of assistance from a Boy Scout as you go about your daily errands?




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Default Re: Hello, it's good to see you - 03-08-2020, 03:54 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isabella White View Post
Dear help us, Mr. Hucker! Well, if being accident-prone runs in your family, and if you are keeping a photo of your uncle and the children as a reminder to be careful, and considering your many misfortunes, then I do hope that you will not mind my saying that the intended effect of that photo is not working -- not at all!

One wonders if you might consider the benefits of assistance from a Boy Scout as you go about your daily errands?










Out of idle curiosity Ms. White, did you take that photo yourself? I imagine you're one of the few members here I could believe had been there to witness this event.


I don't personally think I'm in need of a crutch. I'm not Harvey Weinstein for one thing, and a boy Scout I'm afraid would inspire melancholy of my former stint as the head of youth at my church.
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Default Re: Hello, it's good to see you - 03-14-2020, 02:03 AM

Hello, I wanted to examine the suggestion to read the Bible more closely. I've started my own podcast to showcase this amazing journey and I invite you to follow along. Here's my introductory pod. Point of interest, I modulated my voice a bit until I feel more comfortable behind a mic, and I didn't get very far thanks to a bout of indigestion, but if this proves a successful endeavour, I'd be happy to plug further. Thank you. -Phil

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Messican Re: Hello, it's good to see you - 03-14-2020, 02:35 AM

Dear Person,

I have been wondering what caused your baldness?

Isaiah 22:12
And in that day did the Lord GOD of hosts call to weeping, and to mourning, and to baldness, and to girding with sackcloth:

Was there an incident that made you cut or lose your hair? As always, hair loss is a sign of great sorrow, often because of trespasses by the Humpty Dumpty himself.

Amos 8:10
And I will turn your feasts into mourning, and all your songs into lamentation; and I will bring up sackcloth upon all loins, and baldness upon every head; and I will make it as the mourning of an only son, and the end thereof as a bitter day.


What was your trespass and why not wear the sackcloth? Inquiring, True Christian™ minds need to know.

Yours in Christ,

Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



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Default Re: Hello, it's good to see you - 03-14-2020, 04:11 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer G. White View Post
Dear Person,

I have been wondering what caused your baldness?

Isaiah 22:12
And in that day did the Lord GOD of hosts call to weeping, and to mourning, and to baldness, and to girding with sackcloth:

Was there an incident that made you cut or lose your hair? As always, hair loss is a sign of great sorrow, often because of trespasses by the Humpty Dumpty himself.

Amos 8:10
And I will turn your feasts into mourning, and all your songs into lamentation; and I will bring up sackcloth upon all loins, and baldness upon every head; and I will make it as the mourning of an only son, and the end thereof as a bitter day.


What was your trespass and why not wear the sackcloth? Inquiring, True Christian™ minds need to know.

Yours in Christ,

Elmer


Hello Elmer.


I lost my hair after a traumatic incident in my 20's; I was jumped and robbed by a gang of Jewish kids. I lost my my wallet, and my hair, apparently; first it turned white, and then it fell out. Before, I used to have long hair like Jesus. I miss it from time to time.


I believe I wore something resembling a sackcloth during my stay on the Princess Diamond's sick ward for COVID-19. I have some photos of it in my camera roll.
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Default Re: Hello, it's good to see you - 03-14-2020, 04:17 AM

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Here's my introductory pod.


Mr. Hucker, I believe that you should not pursue this new endeavor, as you seem to have no skill in this area. In fact, the squeaky voice I barely heard mumbling would be enough to cause violent angers in those not accustomed to the ramblings of lost souls, such as yourself. I recommend another career. Perhaps Walmart would be a good fit. You'd have a stylish vest and access to the store PA system. Fill out their application and I'm sure they will be impressed by your qualifications.


God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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