A poor little boy born to a papist family has been banned from an ancient Roman Papist ritual because he lacks the ability to pretend hard enough that Jesus lives in the little cracker he would eat. True Christians™ know that Jesus was Resurrected and does not live in foodstuffs, and if He did would not be relegated to a bland wheat-and-water wafer without even so much as salt, butter, or basil.
I can't say if Jesus had deigned to come back in food if He would reside in the grape and banana jell-o salad Sister VOS is so fond of, or if He would perhaps exist in a T-Bone steak brother Moss is so good at grilling. The Bible is silent on such matters and that's good enough for me, but for this little boy's family it's not.
You see Catholics are required to pretend
really, really hard that Jesus lives in the cracker and in the wine, and when you eat the cracker and wine you're eating Him and drinking His blood really and truly no fooling. Like a cannibal. Or a Zombie. Or those Goths who spend all day in their trees. But since this little boy lacks sufficient imagination, about how Jesus can hide in a cracker in his tummy and hear his prayers anyway, and about when Jesus would wag a finger at him in rebuke, the priest said it's not enough. Papists require members to have a deep sense of imagination so they can pretend Jesus is making them feel guilty for eating a burger on a Friday but not about using birth control.
Quote:
Today Nicole and I were informed that our son Anthony would not be able to make his communion this year. As most of you know, Anthony is an autistic non-verbal child who is in his sacrament year. Father Bambric at Saint Aloysis Church in Jackson and the Archdiocese of Trenton came to this position since Anthony is unable to determine right from wrong due to his disability they feel he is not up to the “benchmark required to make his communion.”
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