[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Octopuses Octopi Octopii These creatures are abominations:

Le:11:12: Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you.



Many of you will have seen this fish, which is owned and operated by the Germans. It is in the news because it can apparently predict the future. In the Soccer World Cup somewhere in Africa, this creature has correctly predicted the results of 5 matches;

• Germany v. Serbia, Germany lose - God’s warning against divination
• Germany v. Ghana, Germany win - Satan tightens his hold but God watches the sinners
• Germany v. England, Germany win - Satan is laughing but God starts to be wrathful
• Germany v. Argentina, Germany win - Satan has hold of the German soul but God has waxed wrathful
• Germany v. Spain. This was the match that would decide who would progress to the next round. Germany loses!

Many of you will think, “Oh! How amusing, an Octopus with magical powers."

Not at all, God has left Germany, He has become their enemy and just at the point at which a victory was needed, He smote them with a great smittance! He delivered the flower of their manhood unto the Euro-Messicants!

How does the Octopus do it? He is channelling the spirits of the dead. Conjuring from their graves and forcing them to divulge secrets known only to them. God leaves such people to defeat and misery!

How do we know this? 1Sa:28:3 - 25

In this chapter we see King Saul who has just banished witches from his kingom but now sees an army of Philistines arrayed against him. He prays to The Lord but receives no reply. He panics and seeks out The Witch of Endor! And, guaranteeing her safety, he asks her to conjure the prophet Samuel from his grave.

(This is exactly the same as having an octopus predict the outcome of a soccer match)

She does this and Samuel appears!
1Sa:28:15: And Samuel said to Saul, Why hast thou disquieted me, to bring me up? And Saul answered, I am sore distressed; for the Philistines make war against me, and God is departed from me, and answereth me no more, neither by prophets, nor by dreams: therefore I have called thee, that thou mayest make known unto me what I shall do.
1Sa:28:16: Then said Samuel, Wherefore then dost thou ask of me, seeing the LORD is departed from thee, and is become thine enemy?

Now if the Lord is thy enemy, all is lost, and Saul knows it. We have to wait until Ch30 to hear the confirmed result
[…]

1Sa:30:1: And it came to pass, when David and his men were come to Ziklag on the third day, that the Amalekites had invaded the south, and Ziklag, and smitten Ziklag, and burned it with fire;
1Sa:30:2: And had taken the women captives, that were therein: they slew not any, either great or small, but carried them away, and went on their way.
1Sa:30:3: So David and his men came to the city, and, behold, it was burned with fire; and their wives, and their sons, and their daughters, were taken captives.

Indeed, The Lord was displeased with Saul and thus his defeat was assured. He was defeated as he had lacked faith and had disobeyed the Lord’s Commands.

I seriously doubt that when the German team get home that any of their wives and children will be there.

[Cranky Old Man]

It's even worse. He predicted almost all matches correctly 2 years ago as well. I will pray that his next prediction will turn out to be wrong so people will stop paying attention to this puppet of Satan!

[Nobar King]

I'm sure that this whole thing is rigged. The operators try to make it look even, but even I know that they put Lawry's seasoning in the box that has the better odds. No octopus can resist that.

[Oakland "Reb" Griner]

Where do those awful things come from?

Do nuns birth them in convents?

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Enjoy Hell creation of Satan!

[Jo Freddie]

You have an unnatural aversion to beings with lots of appendages don't you?

[Cranky Old Man]

Originally Posted by Jo Freddie

You have an unnatural aversion to beings with lots of appendages don't you?

Paul the Octopus, like all creatures with more than 4 legs or tentacles, is pure evil. Once his next prediction turns out to be wrong (which has the unfortunate side effect of Holland becoming world champion) I am sure he will be killed and forgotten.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

This 8-legged bag of evil, minion of the Anti-Christ, again consulted the Dead and foretold that Uruguay would lose against Germany. It came to pass. Now the beast says Spain will win!

I was looking for an explanation in the Bible, God's Revealed Word, and did not find one. So it was fortunate that Nephew Zebulun came round; he knows about such things as this.

Her explained that God did in fact have a Plan. It was along the lines of "The Three Card Trick".

Puzzled? Never heard of it? Neither had I, so Nephew Zebulun said he would demonstrate:

A card-sharp (Zebulun took this part) will take 3 cards, one of which will be a Queen. He will then place the cards on his table and shuffle them around. To win, the mark (e.g. me) has to say which one is the Queen.

(Zebulun demonstrated this with a pack of cards he said he had seized from a den of vice.)

The card-sharp let's you win 3 or 4 times (Ha! I did! $50 each time!) then proposes a huge bet on the next go, succumbing to greed, you agree. (Which I did for the sake of the experiment.)

Zebulun won the final trick and left with $5,000 of mine.

Apparently, the same will happen to those who bet on Spain. That is God's plan. I must say it's a little harsh, I had plans for that $5,000.