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Reload this Page The person under me: (True or false)
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(#1401)
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Default Re: The person under me: (True or false) - 11-11-2009, 04:37 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
The person under me likes raw onions as a late night snack...
If there is nothing else, but prefers a Doner Kebab Pot Noodle and can of Spesh (Special Brew).

http://www.brandrepublic.com/Discipl...kebab-flavour/

http://www.arrysbrewsite.co.uk/

The person below me wants to buy the world a coke and keep it company.


"For thou shalt worship no other god: for the LORD, whose name is
Jealous, is a jealous God"

Exodus C34 P14
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Default Re: The person under me: (True or false) - 11-11-2009, 07:11 PM

False. Can't/don't drink soda... kidneys are a wonderful thing when they function properly... mine however, don't.

The person below me owns at lease one George Foreman Grill.


"I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things." -- favorite KJV verse ever!!! Our LORD is so awesome in everything he does.
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Default Re: The person under me: (True or false) - 11-11-2009, 09:39 PM

False. If God didn't want us eating fat, he wouldn't have put it into our hamburgers!

Next: the person under me has purchased merchandise he's seen on television
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Default Re: The person under me: (True or false) - 11-12-2009, 01:42 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Heathen_Basher View Post

The person under me enjoys the works of William Blake, Wordsworth, Coleridge, and all the English Romantics.
False! If I want poetry I'll read Leviticus.
The person under me eats Baby Jesus in the form of a papist cracker.


Luke 5:31
And Jesus answering said unto them, They that are whole need not a physician; but they that are sick
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Default Re: The person under me: (True or false) - 11-12-2009, 04:51 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nurse Clampett View Post
False! If I want poetry I'll read Leviticus.
The person under me eats Baby Jesus in the form of a papist cracker.
False. No more death cookies for me. Thank you Landover!

The person under me once met Jack Chick.
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Default Re: The person under me: (True or false) - 11-12-2009, 06:45 AM

True. And I made to explain to him why he is a false Christian! http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/False...bad_tracts.htm

The person under me knows why the writer of jesus-is-savior.com is also a false Christian!
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Default Re: The person under me: (True or false) - 11-12-2009, 05:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Heathen_Basher View Post
True. And I made to explain to him why he is a false Christian! http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/False...bad_tracts.htm

The person under me knows why the writer of jesus-is-savior.com is also a false Christian!
TRUE!

Quote:
(From the www.jesus-is-savior.com web site) It will be a cold day in Hell before I ever sell anything on my website. I'm so sick of covetous believers. I wish I could visit a Baptist church nowadays that doesn't make an issue of money. I've had several people ask me how much money I make from my website—NEVER A PENNY! I want everyone to know that this is a labor of love and sincerity. When you sell something, it is a conflict of interest. To the same degree that a minister is covetous, to that same degree he will censor the truth. Guaranteed! My ministry is the Lords, I do it for Him, and I trust Him to keep it going. It only costs me a couple hundreds dollars per year for my 5 GB sized website. I get upset at these so-called Christian 1 MB sized websites that beg for money to keep up with their “high expenses.” Oh please! Who's kidding who?
If this aint aimed right at Gods favorite website I dont know what is. That heathen dont tithe a penny to Landover Baptist Church and never will. I am shocked to know some one like this can be allowed to have a web site like that to lead people astray like that. Lolas gonna look nito what demons might be at play there for sure!

The person below me knows a different reason why the writer of jesus-is-savior.com is also a false Christian!


GOT DEMONS? WE CAN HELP! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO FIGHT THEM ALONE! JESUS WANTS YOU TO BE RID OF THEM ONCE AND FOR ALL! YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO IT ALONE! LET US HELP YOU RIGHT AWAY!

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Default Re: The person under me: (True or false) - 11-12-2009, 07:48 PM

Quote:
The person below me knows a different reason why the writer of jesus-is-savior.com is also a false Christian!
__________________

TRUE. I did some checking ,its from the country of Haiti.......That's the home of VODO
it is not a TRUE CHRISTIAN place.Its ran by Satan and his DEMONS.

The person below me thinks GOD is a negroid woman !
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Default Re: The person under me: (True or false) - 11-13-2009, 12:53 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lola Sledge View Post
The person below me thinks GOD is a negroid woman !


False as false can be! What a concept!



The person under me has pre-ordered 1 dozen copies of Sarah Pailn's new book, all autographed by her own hand!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: The person under me: (True or false) - 11-13-2009, 05:58 PM

False

The person under me has more money than they know what to do with...
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Default Re: The person under me: (True or false) - 11-13-2009, 08:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Heathen_Basher View Post

The person under me has more money than they know what to do with...
False. Tithing is a good way too make sure that never happens.
The person under me believes in magical underwear.


Luke 5:31
And Jesus answering said unto them, They that are whole need not a physician; but they that are sick
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Default Re: The person under me: (True or false) - 11-13-2009, 08:34 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nurse Clampett View Post
False. Tithing is a good way too make sure that never happens.
The person under me believes in magical underwear.
False, I've never met a mormon, are they even real?

Next: The person under me is worried their houseplants are plotting against them.
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Default Re: The person under me: (True or false) - 11-14-2009, 02:42 AM

False. I don't own houseplants for that very reason...

The person under me has a special spot in their high school year book.
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Default Re: The person under me: (True or false) - 11-14-2009, 08:32 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Heathen_Basher View Post
False. I don't own houseplants for that very reason...

The person under me has a special spot in their high school year book.
FALSE! I didn't finish high school but I'm getting my G.E.D. in a couple weeks! They don't have yearbooks, though.

About them houseplants though...
They can be where demon infestations start in some homes, especially in England. Plus, there are some, like orchids, that common house demons will use to put lusty and sinful thoughts in people's heads.

Next: The person under me owns a djembe.


GOT DEMONS? WE CAN HELP! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO FIGHT THEM ALONE! JESUS WANTS YOU TO BE RID OF THEM ONCE AND FOR ALL! YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO IT ALONE! LET US HELP YOU RIGHT AWAY!

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Default Re: The person under me: (True or false) - 11-14-2009, 09:02 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Emil Sledge View Post
FALSE! I didn't finish high school but I'm getting my G.E.D. in a couple weeks! They don't have yearbooks, though.

About them houseplants though...
They can be where demon infestations start in some homes, especially in England. Plus, there are some, like orchids, that common house demons will use to put lusty and sinful thoughts in people's heads.

Next: The person under me owns a djembe.
Is that a negro? If so, false, because I don't own him...well practically in a way...I mean, he makes below minimum wage, so in a way, I kinda do...who knows?

Next: The person under me owns at least 10 King James Bibles.



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Meek and Humble will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Meek and Humble will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Meek and Humble will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Meek and Humble will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Meek and Humble will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Meek and Humble will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Meek and Humble will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Meek and Humble will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Meek and Humble will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Meek and Humble will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Meek and Humble will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: The person under me: (True or false) - 11-14-2009, 09:13 AM

False, I have only one. All the others I distribute to atheists, heathens and other similiar scum to read, out of the goodness of my heart.

The person under me was recently in a car crash
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Rev. Jim Osborne's Avatar
Rev. Jim Osborne Rev. Jim Osborne is offline
True Christian™ Televangelist
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On the Look Out for Wife #6!
True Christian™

1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ Public Awareness Medal Christian Love Tithing Manager Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking The Lord’s Witness Wound Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator TC Bravery Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Teabag Patriot Saved 1 Year One Year/1000 posts True Scientist™ Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mission to Japan Iceland Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 8,727
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, Iowa
Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: The person under me: (True or false) - 11-14-2009, 10:56 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Heathen_Basher View Post
False, I have only one. All the others I distribute to atheists, heathens and other similiar scum to read, out of the goodness of my heart.

The person under me was recently in a car crash
True! It happened yesterday, Friday the 13th. I was driving my Mercedes SL65 AMG and listening to the KJV on Freehold Satellite Radio, when I was prompted to whip out my Blackberry and text a message to Pastor Zeke about a great idea for next week's sermon, when lo and behold, *CRASH* right into the back of a formerly cute Dodge Neon.

The person below me walks towards the Golden Corral™ buffet dishes like a shark circling its prey.



Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.

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Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 79,883
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Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: The person under me: (True or false) - 11-14-2009, 12:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post
The person below me walks towards the Golden Corral™ buffet dishes like a shark circling its prey.
Oh, sweet JESUS TRUE! Especially their biscuits and gravy!!


The person under me is suspicious of ravioli.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Rev. Jim Osborne's Avatar
Rev. Jim Osborne Rev. Jim Osborne is offline
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True Christian™

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Posts: 8,727
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, Iowa
Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: The person under me: (True or false) - 11-14-2009, 12:52 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Oh, sweet JESUS TRUE! Especially their biscuits and gravy!!


The person under me is suspicious of ravioli.
Who is that? Sounds like some Catholic Italian, so true.

The person below me has witnessed a bear maul a human to death.



Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.

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Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 79,883
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: The person under me: (True or false) - 11-14-2009, 01:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post
The person below me has witnessed a bear maul a human to death.
Oh, sweet JESUS! TRUE!! On more than one occasion!!

The person under me has personally witnessed Christ's Miracles.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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