Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians)
Reload this Page Baby Jesus Butt Plug: Another Self-Sacrifice by Jesus to Save the Homos!
Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Elmer G. White's Avatar
Elmer G. White Elmer G. White is offline
Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology)
Victim of atheist scientific persecution
 

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Friend of Jesus Christian Love True Christian™ Touched by Jesus Persecuted Honorary Ex-Eskimo Ex-Scandinavian Ex-eurotrash True Scientist™ 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Doctor Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture Flat Earth Prayer Warrior Ex-Masturbator Tell her once True Christian Caucasian Real American™ Porn Resistant The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking One Year/1000 posts 2014 Witch Hunt Award Mower Mission to Korea Uber Angels Driver Trump of GOD Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Mission to Messico Saved 1 Year Platinum Tither Eats the Most Pork True Heterosexual™ 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory BFF of Jesus Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Alternative Facts True Christian Nerd GLORY Saved 5 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Get Behind Me Doctor - NO TEAM FORTRESS! Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor

 
Posts: 10,328
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Jesus Baby Jesus Butt Plug: Another Self-Sacrifice by Jesus to Save the Homos! - 09-09-2017, 04:19 AM

Praise Jesus!

It came recently to my attention that there is a product called a "butt-plug" that is apparently used to avoid any contamination of the anal cavity by demonic entities. This is a wonderful invention, because we all know that the principal obstacle to Salvation during these sad times is homosexual gay sex, the unnatural fornication among same-sex males.

1 Timothy 1:10
For whoremongers, for them that defile themselves with mankind, for menstealers, for liars, for perjured persons, and if there be any other thing that is contrary to sound doctrine;


Jesus is Gracious and Merciful (Jonah 4:2). He has many anatomical inventions to prevent the violation of the rectum with the male organ but for the lust-filled generation Y this is not enough. They still wish to experiment with fornication and male-to-male copulation. More drastic measured had to be taken, so Jesus endorsed the design of a physical barrier, not unlike the Wall that will soon arise between the Godly US of A and the Papist Swarm.

The Baby Jesus Butt Plug: Probably the most practical way to prevent penile entry.



Imagine the horrors Sweet Jesus must be experiencing! His feet feel the constant pounding of the penis trying to break through the Wall while His head in buried in the deepest and most revolting recesses of the cesspit that is the gay man's bowel. But there can be no stronger guard against this the secondmost destructive of all sins. Again, Jesus comes to the rescue when the aspiring gay youth has a moment a weakness, just as He promised.

1 Corinthians 10:13
There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.


Jesus will help with this nice product so that you, any sinners who may be reading this, can bear the temptation. Glory! Jesus can keep you from evil!

2 Thessalonians 3:3
But the Lord is faithful, who shall stablish you, and keep you from evil.




Of course, no True Christian™ will ever need this but the sinners must be introduced to this device, the Baby Jesus Butt Plug, to help them during the difficult time of Insecurity and Doubt. No demons nor tallywhackers dare enter when Jesus is guarding the Strawberry Gates. In addition, I have discovered that Jesus is not alone. He has recruited quite a few of His Bestest Friends to participate in this Godliest Endeavor of All Times. Mr. Putin has been recruited and he will protect the emerging Christians during the time when Jesus is firmly established in the bowels of a man but some temptations still linger.



Let us thank Mr. Putin for His Good Work. Of course, our own Sweet President Donald Trump did not hesitate to answer God's Call for some Anal Action!



This will give the sinner a nice continuum of Godly Butt Plugs to choose from until the day when He becomes sin-free and can reside forever in Christ! These technological marvels can easily be carried on your person during our street preaching events and distributed to Catholics, Evolutionary proponents, and high school kids. They will find that the Real Pleasure™ is in Christ!



Isaiah 41:10
Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.



Yours in Christ,

Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
WilliamJenningsBryan's Avatar
WilliamJenningsBryan WilliamJenningsBryan is offline
True Christian™
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Gold Tither Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS TC Bravery Christian Love Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Nerd True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Home Schooled Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life True Republican Eats the Most Pork Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Early riser Touched by Jesus Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Righteousness Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire

 
Posts: 9,361
Join Date: Jan 2007
WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Baby Jesus Butt Plug: Another Self-Sacrifice by Jesus to Save the Homos! - 09-09-2017, 04:59 AM

Unlike the feminazi hoax about "rape culture", there has been no time like the present when the male rectum has been under often overwhelming assault. I only hope that Trump can find a way to make the homers pay for these "barriers" in the same way that the Mexicans will ultimately pay for the border wall. Perhaps a special tax on homerism is in order.


Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Patootie Patootie is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 6
Join Date: Sep 2017
Patootie is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Baby Jesus Butt Plug: Another Self-Sacrifice by Jesus to Save the Homos! - 09-11-2017, 09:41 PM

<<<sexual reference deleted>>> y'all lol this is hilarious butt plugs are there for <<<another word for happy>>> people so that it feels like a <<<reference to a pervert sexual act removed>>> so actually they <<<reference to a pervert sexual act removed>>> with baby Jesus xD

Last edited by Basilissa; 09-11-2017 at 09:51 PM. Reason: This is a family-friendly forum, sweetie
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Baby Jesus Butt Plug: Another Self-Sacrifice by Jesus to Save the Homos! - 09-13-2017, 02:49 AM

I introduced these thingies to my houseboys a couple of years ago and they soon became habitual users. I've personally administered the release of many youths from the demons by educating them in the practical use of the plugs. It takes lots of effort and hardcore experience initially but they soon get the hang of it. You're all welcome to order my educational videos about the spiritually correct usage of these things at reasonable prices.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Megan1993 Megan1993 is offline
Unsaved trash
 
 
Posts: 104
Join Date: Oct 2017
Megan1993 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Megan1993 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Megan1993 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Baby Jesus Butt Plug: Another Self-Sacrifice by Jesus to Save the Homos! - 10-19-2017, 04:11 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
I introduced these thingies to my houseboys a couple of years ago and they soon became habitual users. I've personally administered the release of many youths from the demons by educating them in the practical use of the plugs. It takes lots of effort and hardcore experience initially but they soon get the hang of it. You're all welcome to order my educational videos about the spiritually correct usage of these things at reasonable prices.
Gay....that's gay wearing a plug up your ass. You know people use them for sexual pleasure right? The mere fact that your using this prevent rape....well that's ineffective.
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
James Hutchins's Avatar
James Hutchins James Hutchins is offline
True Christian™
Just a Regular Nice Guy
 

True Christian™ Silver Tither Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Provider™ award Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator TC Bravery Gunfest '09 Ready for the Rapture Punched the most queers Jailed for JESUS True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound Teabag Patriot Mission to Australia One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life ex-sheep-shagger Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Hotrodder Saved 1 Year Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award 20,000 posts Long service medal, 3rd class Home Schooled Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Early riser Kirk Cameron Fan Club Trump of GOD Mission to Korea Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Incorruptibility Alternative Facts Mower Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Crown of Righteousness Crown of Life Crown of Rejoicing BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus In Love With Zeke True Christian™ Cowboy GLORY Saved 5 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Guns Re: Baby Jesus Butt Plug: Another Self-Sacrifice by Jesus to Save the Homos! - 10-19-2017, 11:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Megan1993 View Post
Gay....that's gay wearing a plug up your ass. You know people use them for sexual pleasure right? The mere fact that your using this prevent rape....well that's ineffective.
Not surprising you are against personal protection. No doubt you have your doors open all night and sign on your porch saying "Slut available inside'.
I keep my rectum protected at all times against unwanted rectal sodomization and a 1911 on my hip at all times, even when in the bath house.
With my boys, I learned a neat trick. After insertion of the plug, I take one of their hairs and apply it over the cheeks and crossing the plug. At the evening inspection, I confirm the hair is still there and that lets me know the plug has not been removed. It instills a level of trust that rectal padlocks do not provide. I want my boys to think I have faith in them


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
GaleWhoring the Boring's Avatar
GaleWhoring the Boring (On Moderation) GaleWhoring the Boring is offline
Unsaved trash, probably hopeless sinner
Foul Sinner on Moderation

Uppity Woman/Enabler Sinner Cathlick Langobard

 
Posts: 256
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Tulsa, OL
GaleWhoring the Boring is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.GaleWhoring the Boring is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.GaleWhoring the Boring is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.GaleWhoring the Boring is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.GaleWhoring the Boring is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.GaleWhoring the Boring is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Baby Jesus Butt Plug: Another Self-Sacrifice by Jesus to Save the Homos! - 10-20-2017, 01:18 AM

These ones are my personal picks. I'm a big Game of Thrones fan, so dragons are a must in the bedroom.

Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
Elmer G. White's Avatar
Elmer G. White Elmer G. White is offline
Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology)
Victim of atheist scientific persecution
 

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Friend of Jesus Christian Love True Christian™ Touched by Jesus Persecuted Honorary Ex-Eskimo Ex-Scandinavian Ex-eurotrash True Scientist™ 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Doctor Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture Flat Earth Prayer Warrior Ex-Masturbator Tell her once True Christian Caucasian Real American™ Porn Resistant The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking One Year/1000 posts 2014 Witch Hunt Award Mower Mission to Korea Uber Angels Driver Trump of GOD Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Mission to Messico Saved 1 Year Platinum Tither Eats the Most Pork True Heterosexual™ 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory BFF of Jesus Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Alternative Facts True Christian Nerd GLORY Saved 5 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Get Behind Me Doctor - NO TEAM FORTRESS! Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor

 
Posts: 10,328
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Rebuke Re: Baby Jesus Butt Plug: Another Self-Sacrifice by Jesus to Save the Homos! - 10-20-2017, 04:18 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by GaleWhoring View Post
These ones are my personal picks. I'm a big Game of Thrones fan, so dragons are a must in the bedroom.
Miss Whoring,

I am afraid that you have misunderstood the efficacy of these devices. Their power is not in the physical manifestation but in the Spiritual Infestation by Jesus. Considering your proposal, we have to assess what God says about dragons as potentially protective entities. The results are disappointing.

Malachi 1:3
And I hated Esau, and laid his mountains and his heritage waste for the dragons of the wilderness.

As you can see, God uses dragons to enforce His punishments on the people He hates (such as Esau, as re-enforced in Romans 9:13). We can also clearly see that dragons cause havoc instead of protection:

Isaiah 13:22
And the wild beasts of the islands shall cry in their desolate houses, and dragons in their pleasant palaces: and her time is near to come, and her days shall not be prolonged.

Thus, putting dragons in the "pleasant palace" is not efficient. It is not the material structure but the presence of Jesus that provides the benefit. You should really do some basic Bible Study to help you along, Miss Whoring.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
WilliamJenningsBryan's Avatar
WilliamJenningsBryan WilliamJenningsBryan is offline
True Christian™
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Gold Tither Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS TC Bravery Christian Love Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Nerd True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Home Schooled Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life True Republican Eats the Most Pork Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Early riser Touched by Jesus Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Righteousness Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire

 
Posts: 9,361
Join Date: Jan 2007
WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Baby Jesus Butt Plug: Another Self-Sacrifice by Jesus to Save the Homos! - 10-20-2017, 04:27 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Megan1993 View Post
Gay....that's gay wearing a plug up your ass. You know people use them for sexual pleasure right? The mere fact that your using this prevent rape....well that's ineffective.
Typical LIEberal response - and what are you supposed to do when you're being anally raped, call the police? By the time they get there your rapist done and in your fridge making a sandwich, having a beer, and smoking a cigarette.

The NRA should be promoting these plugs right up there with the Second Amendment, and our God given constitutional right to self defense.


Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
Reply With Quote
(#10)
Old
Titus Templeton's Avatar
Titus Templeton Titus Templeton is offline
Director of the German "Holy-caust" Evangelical Crusade
Jesus macht frei
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Gold Tither Porn Resistant Persecuted Pro-Life One Year/1000 posts True Christian Artist True Republican Ex-eurotrash Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Public Awareness Medal Saved 5 Years Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Heart of compassion Eats the Most Pork Truck Stop Ministry Member Donald Trump 2016! Mower Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 5,914
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Black Forrest, Germany
Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Baby Jesus Butt Plug: Another Self-Sacrifice by Jesus to Save the Homos! - 10-20-2017, 10:01 AM

Remember that this device might get pushed out if u have to poop.
Reply With Quote
(#11)
Old
Megan1993 Megan1993 is offline
Unsaved trash
 
 
Posts: 104
Join Date: Oct 2017
Megan1993 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Megan1993 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Megan1993 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Baby Jesus Butt Plug: Another Self-Sacrifice by Jesus to Save the Homos! - 10-20-2017, 11:59 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by WilliamJenningsBryan View Post
Typical LIEberal response - and what are you supposed to do when you're being anally raped, call the police? By the time they get there your rapist done and in your fridge making a sandwich, having a beer, and smoking a cigarette.

The NRA should be promoting these plugs right up there with the Second Amendment, and our God given constitutional right to self defense.
Well if I take my bdsm expertise....what you need is a Chastity belt. A locking kind..a plug won't do unless if you lock it.
Reply With Quote
(#12)
Old
Megan1993 Megan1993 is offline
Unsaved trash
 
 
Posts: 104
Join Date: Oct 2017
Megan1993 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Megan1993 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Megan1993 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Baby Jesus Butt Plug: Another Self-Sacrifice by Jesus to Save the Homos! - 10-20-2017, 12:42 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by GaleWhoring View Post
These ones are my personal picks. I'm a big Game of Thrones fan, so dragons are a must in the bedroom.

Beware beware the dragon born comes...


Reply With Quote
(#13)
Old
Jim C. Lombardo's Avatar
Jim C. Lombardo Jim C. Lombardo is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured

The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Langobard

 
Posts: 565
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Where God puts me.
Jim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Baby Jesus Butt Plug: Another Self-Sacrifice by Jesus to Save the Homos! - 10-20-2017, 03:38 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Titus Templeton View Post
Remember that this device might get pushed out if u have to poop.


I wouldn't expect less from the Original coprophiliac. (Ezekiel 4:15) (Isaiah 36:12) (Judges 3:21-22) (Deuteronomy 23:12-13) to name a few.
Reply With Quote
(#14)
Old
GaleWhoring the Boring's Avatar
GaleWhoring the Boring (On Moderation) GaleWhoring the Boring is offline
Unsaved trash, probably hopeless sinner
Foul Sinner on Moderation

Uppity Woman/Enabler Sinner Cathlick Langobard

 
Posts: 256
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Tulsa, OL
GaleWhoring the Boring is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.GaleWhoring the Boring is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.GaleWhoring the Boring is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.GaleWhoring the Boring is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.GaleWhoring the Boring is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.GaleWhoring the Boring is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Baby Jesus Butt Plug: Another Self-Sacrifice by Jesus to Save the Homos! - 10-21-2017, 07:26 AM

Is it just me, or the does the word Deuteronomy sound like a kinky punishing sex-position?
Reply With Quote
(#15)
Old
Megan1993 Megan1993 is offline
Unsaved trash
 
 
Posts: 104
Join Date: Oct 2017
Megan1993 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Megan1993 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Megan1993 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Baby Jesus Butt Plug: Another Self-Sacrifice by Jesus to Save the Homos! - 10-23-2017, 07:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by GaleWhoring View Post
Is it just me, or the does the word Deuteronomy sound like a kinky punishing sex-position?
Yeah it kinda does
Reply With Quote
(#16)
Old
Romeo Rovagnati's Avatar
Romeo Rovagnati Romeo Rovagnati is offline
Jesuit Insurgency Operative
Forum Member

Hellbound Heathen Cathlick Eurotrash Messicant Italian Liar Perv Evil Devil's Trill Sonata Reaper Condemned Sinner Devil

 
Posts: 606
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: The evil city of Rome in the evil country of Italy, who was once Holy
Romeo Rovagnati is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Romeo Rovagnati is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Romeo Rovagnati is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Romeo Rovagnati is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Romeo Rovagnati is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Romeo Rovagnati is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Romeo Rovagnati is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Romeo Rovagnati is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Baby Jesus Butt Plug: Another Self-Sacrifice by Jesus to Save the Homos! - 10-30-2017, 11:58 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer G. White View Post
Praise Jesus!

It came recently to my attention that there is a product called a "butt-plug" that is apparently used to avoid any contamination of the anal cavity by demonic entities. This is a wonderful invention, because we all know that the principal obstacle to Salvation during these sad times is homosexual gay sex, the unnatural fornication among same-sex males.

1 Timothy 1:10
For whoremongers, for them that defile themselves with mankind, for menstealers, for liars, for perjured persons, and if there be any other thing that is contrary to sound doctrine;


Jesus is Gracious and Merciful (Jonah 4:2). He has many anatomical inventions to prevent the violation of the rectum with the male organ but for the lust-filled generation Y this is not enough. They still wish to experiment with fornication and male-to-male copulation. More drastic measured had to be taken, so Jesus endorsed the design of a physical barrier, not unlike the Wall that will soon arise between the Godly US of A and the Papist Swarm.

The Baby Jesus Butt Plug: Probably the most practical way to prevent penile entry.



Imagine the horrors Sweet Jesus must be experiencing! His feet feel the constant pounding of the penis trying to break through the Wall while His head in buried in the deepest and most revolting recesses of the cesspit that is the gay man's bowel. But there can be no stronger guard against this the secondmost destructive of all sins. Again, Jesus comes to the rescue when the aspiring gay youth has a moment a weakness, just as He promised.

1 Corinthians 10:13
There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.


Jesus will help with this nice product so that you, any sinners who may be reading this, can bear the temptation. Glory! Jesus can keep you from evil!

2 Thessalonians 3:3
But the Lord is faithful, who shall stablish you, and keep you from evil.




Of course, no True Christian™ will ever need this but the sinners must be introduced to this device, the Baby Jesus Butt Plug, to help them during the difficult time of Insecurity and Doubt. No demons nor tallywhackers dare enter when Jesus is guarding the Strawberry Gates. In addition, I have discovered that Jesus is not alone. He has recruited quite a few of His Bestest Friends to participate in this Godliest Endeavor of All Times. Mr. Putin has been recruited and he will protect the emerging Christians during the time when Jesus is firmly established in the bowels of a man but some temptations still linger.



Let us thank Mr. Putin for His Good Work. Of course, our own Sweet President Donald Trump did not hesitate to answer God's Call for some Anal Action!



Thius will give the sinner a nice continuum of Godly Butt Plugs to choose from until the day when He becomes sin-free and can reside forever in Christ! These technological marves can easily be carried on your person during our street preaching events and distributed to Catholics, Evolutionary proponents, and high school kids. They will find that the Real Pleasure™ is in Christ!



Isaiah 41:10
Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.



Yours in Christ,

Elmer
Why is there no Mary?
Reply With Quote
(#17)
Old
GaleWhoring the Boring's Avatar
GaleWhoring the Boring (On Moderation) GaleWhoring the Boring is offline
Unsaved trash, probably hopeless sinner
Foul Sinner on Moderation

Uppity Woman/Enabler Sinner Cathlick Langobard

 
Posts: 256
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Tulsa, OL
GaleWhoring the Boring is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.GaleWhoring the Boring is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.GaleWhoring the Boring is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.GaleWhoring the Boring is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.GaleWhoring the Boring is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.GaleWhoring the Boring is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Baby Jesus Butt Plug: Another Self-Sacrifice by Jesus to Save the Homos! - 10-30-2017, 12:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Romeo Rovagnati View Post
Why is there no Mary?

I have one of Mary in my collection, but it's not designed for the butt.
Reply With Quote
(#18)
Old
Elmer G. White's Avatar
Elmer G. White Elmer G. White is offline
Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology)
Victim of atheist scientific persecution
 

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Friend of Jesus Christian Love True Christian™ Touched by Jesus Persecuted Honorary Ex-Eskimo Ex-Scandinavian Ex-eurotrash True Scientist™ 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Doctor Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture Flat Earth Prayer Warrior Ex-Masturbator Tell her once True Christian Caucasian Real American™ Porn Resistant The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking One Year/1000 posts 2014 Witch Hunt Award Mower Mission to Korea Uber Angels Driver Trump of GOD Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Mission to Messico Saved 1 Year Platinum Tither Eats the Most Pork True Heterosexual™ 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory BFF of Jesus Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Alternative Facts True Christian Nerd GLORY Saved 5 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Get Behind Me Doctor - NO TEAM FORTRESS! Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor

 
Posts: 10,328
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Rebuke Re: Baby Jesus Butt Plug: Another Self-Sacrifice by Jesus to Save the Homos! - 10-30-2017, 06:17 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by GaleWhoring View Post
I have one of Mary in my collection, but it's not designed for the butt.
Of course it is not! Of course you would use it to block entry into that cavern of horrors that is yet necessary as it is the exit path for the new Soldiers for Christ.

Genesis 1:28
And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.


While baby Jesus prevents the entry of the male organ into the rectal depths that should remain unviolated, the Papist device blocks the phallic entry into the one spot where it is supposed to go to fulfill God's plan as outlined in Genesis 1:28. Once again, an example how the false goddess Mary opposes everything that is precious to Jesus and shows the depravity of the Papist cult. While Jesus saves male sinners from the fate worse than death, the idol Mary casts women into the bottomless pit.




Yours in Christ,

Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
Reply With Quote
(#19)
Old
caged4christ caged4christ is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 20
Join Date: Feb 2020
Location: NJ, the Devil’s Garden State
caged4christ is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Baby Jesus Butt Plug: Another Self-Sacrifice by Jesus to Save the Homos! - 02-11-2020, 09:51 AM

Thank you Brother White, Brother Hutchin, and Pastor Ezekiel for sharing your wisdom. I had not considered that my rectum as an open entry to the demons of the world. I shall keep it forever closed with a Baby Jesus Butt Plug. It will only be removed to allow that which must come out and will immediately be reinserted for Christ’s enduring protection. Christ is truly sacrificing for us.


Yours in Christ,

Cage
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
anal sex, baby jesus butt plug, butt plug, donald trump, evolutionary theory, homosexuality, salvation, sinners, vladimir putin

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved