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Reload this Page Damn Squirrels!
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Default Re: Damn Squirrels! - 12-17-2009, 07:17 PM

You should consider the squirrel catapult:


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Default Re: Damn Squirrels! - 12-17-2009, 08:03 PM

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Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
I can hear them running around up there all day long. I'm to the point where I'm ready to pay to have the tree cut down just to piss off the squirrels.
Oh, be careful, Brother Nobar!

Because when they're mad, they can attack from high places...like vampire bats!

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Default Re: Damn Squirrels! - 12-17-2009, 08:04 PM

Those squirrels are stupid, you'd think that after the third or fourth go, they would get the message!... Oh! There one goes again!





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Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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Default Re: Damn Squirrels! - 12-17-2009, 09:11 PM

Well, I dropped another four today. It is a little like watching the animal channel.
The first I hit (75 yards out) dropped and crawled off about ten yards. His girlfriend got all upset and was dancing about the body. Made the next kill a piece of cake. Women are so empty headed.....


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Damn Squirrels! - 12-17-2009, 09:22 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
You should consider the squirrel catapult:
you know what that squirrel was thinking?

http://www.nooooooooooooooo.com/

YIC
V


Judges 9:21 And Jotham ran away, and fled, and went to Beer, and dwelt there, for fear of Abimelech his brother.
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Default Re: Damn Squirrels! - 12-17-2009, 09:28 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
His girlfriend got all upset and was dancing about the body. Made the next kill a piece of cake.
It's too bad that, in their sole nod to decency, the pregnant mothers hide themselves away.

Because they're slower-moving when heavy like that, and easy to chase down.

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Default Re: Damn Squirrels! - 12-17-2009, 09:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
You should consider the squirrel catapult:
I thought this was funny when BibleThumpinBlonde posted it earlier in this thread. But yours is funnier.....because you are a man.

BibleThumpinBlonde...please contact a pastor to have your pre-duplicitous post deleted.


Yours In Christ,

Gabriel Reproba, Esq. (Lawyer for the Lord)

Further reading to help you become a True Christian™

Stoning Sinners: A How-To Guide
Scientific Study: Bible is NOT "All About Love"
The One Sin Jesus Says He Won't EVER Forgive!
Should we only follow SOME of the Bible?
How will YOU sacrifice your kids?
20 Questions To See If Your Son Is A Fag
God: Dress Like A Whore...Get Raped!
Bible: If You Love Your Wife, Beat Her!
Logic and Bible Agree: Gay is a choice!
Nursery Rhymes Teach kids that Christ is Lord!
There is no such thing as an "agnostic!"
Science: People are Only Islamic Because They are Depressed!

Reading only the parts of the Bible your pastor tells you to (those that make you feel warm and fuzzy) is nothing but mental and spiritual masturbation. Read the WHOLE Bible to find out what Christianity is REALLY all about! Only then can you talk to us about why we try so hard to save people from Hell.
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Smile Re: Damn Squirrels! - 12-17-2009, 10:28 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie View Post
It's too bad that, in their sole nod to decency, the pregnant mothers hide themselves away.

Because they're slower-moving when heavy like that, and easy to chase down.

.
Man M-C, that'd be a lovely shot! No body to deal with on the lawn either. The head shots are quick kills.

I admit, I feel a little guilty when I wing them and they drag the shattered limb off to die a slow and agonizing death. God wants death to be fast and sudden.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Damn Squirrels! - 12-17-2009, 10:33 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
I admit, I feel a little guilty when I wing them and they drag the shattered limb off to die a slow and agonizing death. God wants death to be fast and sudden.
Can you make a weekend event out of it, and invite a buddy with a retriever dog over? I know it's icky to be that close to the vermin, but they should be offed for good, so there's no (angry) survivors to organize an uprising.

Maybe the dog can be trained to drop them in a deep bucket of water, with high sides?

(But going back to my earlier post, the other good thing about the pregnant ones is you're really ridding the world of 5 or 6 at a time.)
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Default Re: Damn Squirrels! - 12-17-2009, 11:04 PM

I'll tell you what, one of the first things that attracted me to the presidential candidacy of Mike Huckabee was his position on squirrels.



Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Smile Re: Damn Squirrels! - 12-18-2009, 12:17 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie View Post
Can you make a weekend event out of it, and invite a buddy with a retriever dog over? I know it's icky to be that close to the vermin, but they should be offed for good, so there's no (angry) survivors to organize an uprising.

Maybe the dog can be trained to drop them in a deep bucket of water, with high sides?

(But going back to my earlier post, the other good thing about the pregnant ones is you're really ridding the world of 5 or 6 at a time.)
I have a slew of trained gun dogs and therein lies my problem. The dogs bark like crazy in thier cages at the squirrels running about, a few of them tease the dogs. The squirrels can out run and maneuver the dogs. The squirrels only do this when no one is outside in the yard. So when I am in the upstairs office in the West wing (270 degree vantage point there) I look out and scan for the vermin. The pellet gun works great at 1250 FPS as there is no smoke when I fire it from inside the room. One of these little fellas:

and no more squirrel! I then send a little niglet out to fetch and take home to be skinned (the squirrel, not the niglet). They are so cute, running out from behind trees just like a ball boy at Wimbledon.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Damn Squirrels! - 12-18-2009, 03:16 AM

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Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
I have a slew of trained gun dogs and therein lies my problem. The dogs bark like crazy in thier cages at the squirrels running about, a few of them tease the dogs. The squirrels can out run and maneuver the dogs. The squirrels only do this when no one is outside in the yard.
That's horrible! (But, I'm sad to say, not unexpected.)

Now, this can be a controversial subject, but have you considered getting a rat terrier as backup? The one below is available for free, Online. I'm having the owner hold her for a day, and I PMed you their info.

The "ratters" -- like the terrier -- are bred to chase (and slaughter) small running animals. As a man, of course you wouldn't ever be seen with a small dog or let one in your house, but if you just let the terrier live outside, it might keep the squirrels away from the kennels.

AND an added benefit would be you wouldn't even have to feed it: It can live off the squirrels it kills, and that might even provide good incentive for it to work hard?

.
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Default Re: Damn Squirrels! - 12-18-2009, 10:39 AM

Excellent idea, M-C! Though the thrill of the hunt is a bonus. Zipping over to a window in my Scooter Chair® and cracking off a round is a lot of fun. I'd also be concerned with the dog going after a messican field worker. They are a squirrelly vermin too.

I'll contact the owners of the dog and give it a whirl. I guess it can stay in the chicken coop with the hired help.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Damn Squirrels! - 12-18-2009, 05:40 PM

I'm so glad I could be of help to another True Christian™!

From what I could tell, these owners are having to unload all their dogs (there's something like 300) fast because city "officials" are inserting themselves into their privately owned and operated business. And this is the third time they've pulled this stunt! It's just another example of government taking it upon itself to decide for us what we can and cannot do. What's next?

Until the ratter arrives, you might try pouring some lye into the hollow of any tree you know has a squirrel "nest" in it. But don't use more than a half gallon, because my late husband killed a tree that way once, by using too much, and it also erroded some water pipes that were underground. You don't need as much as you'd think. The fumes do half the work for you.

PS: I would be afraid of keeping the terrier with the help in the chicken coop, because they might eat it.
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