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The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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charlotta charlotta is offline
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Default Introduction - 06-07-2018, 09:30 AM

Hi there! I'm new to your forum
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Default Re: Introduction - 06-07-2018, 09:42 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by charlotta View Post
Hi there! I'm new to your forum
Dear Charlotta,


Whilst I will bid you a hearty welcome to the forum, please read the top of the page and the instruction it gives:


The introduction forumAttention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.


Yes, Charlotta, this applies even to you.


In God's Name I bid you welcome. Maybe, one day, you will even be invited to dinner.


Revelation 3:20 - Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.


YIC
TT


Isaiah 66:15

For behold, the Lord wil come with fire, and with his charets like a whirlewinde, to render his anger with furie, and his rebuke with flames of fire.
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Jesus Re: Introduction - 06-08-2018, 12:28 AM

Well, Charlotta, you don't have a lotta brain power, do you? Jesus blessed us men with the ability to read directions. As Brother Tom pointed out, you are to give us the name of your church, your favorite verse from God's Word, and the story of how you accepted Jesus as your personal savior. That's pretty hard for a female I guess.


But we're willing to give you another chance. Go.


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Default Re: Introduction - 06-10-2018, 11:43 AM

I would say this is the worst introduction ever, but at least she didn't say anything that would enrage the Lord. Yet.


WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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Default Re: Introduction - 06-10-2018, 12:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by charlotta View Post
Hi there! I'm new to your forum
We know. In fact, your arrival was foretold. All things are known unto God.





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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Jesus Re: Introduction - 06-10-2018, 01:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
We know. In fact, your arrival was foretold. All things are known unto God.

I remember the day the prophecy was given. Iowa had just received several inches of snow and NY was expected to get it a few days later. Despite the cold and nasty weather, we were all so, well, we were all so hopeful.


Perhaps there is another? I believe Sister Mary even knitted a shawl for she who was foretold. Shame for it to be wasted.


So hopeful.


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Default Re: Introduction - 06-10-2018, 10:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry View Post
I believe Sister Mary even knitted a shawl for she who was foretold.
That was the one that graphically depicted the events of Acts:1:18, wasn't it? I always thought it was very moving - spiritual almost.





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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Default Re: Introduction - 06-11-2018, 09:06 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by charlotta View Post
Hi there! I'm new to your forum
This is a typical drive by flame from the usual suspects.

That’s right: rampant atheisticalism and probable homersexualism

Typical for an atheistic to bring devience into a Christian forum.

YIC


1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Jasonaldean Jasonaldean is offline
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Default Re: Introduction - 06-12-2018, 06:31 PM

Welcome in this forum.
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Default Re: Introduction - 06-12-2018, 09:37 PM

I fell asleep from this introduction, before I even clicked it.
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Default Re: Introduction - 06-12-2018, 09:40 PM

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Originally Posted by Jasonaldean View Post
Welcome in this forum.

Our forum isn't some homer's rectum you can be physically in, Jason. We are a community of Christians; living day-by-day by God's Word through Jesus Christ.
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