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Default Day 44. Numbers 16-18 - 10-18-2007, 06:20 PM

Numbers 16-18

Today we get:
  • Even more bitching Jews
  • God goes on a killing spree
  • God likes Aaron's staff best
  • Levites once again are reminded that they are the priests
Numbers 16

Four guys decide they don't like the way Moses is bossing them around. They are Korah (a Levi), Dathan, Abiram, and On (Reubens).

2 And they rose up before Moses, with certain of the children of Israel, two hundred and fifty princes of the assembly, famous in the congregation, men of renown:

So, these four guys get together 250 people and this mob goes to confront Moses and Aaron.

3 And they gathered themselves together against Moses and against Aaron, and said unto them, Ye take too much upon you, seeing all the congregation are holy, every one of them, and the LORD is among them: wherefore then lift ye up yourselves above the congregation of the LORD?

They claimed all joos are holy, and that Moses and Aaron are acting all high and mighty!

So Moses says.

5 And he spake unto Korah and unto all his company, saying, Even to morrow the LORD will shew who are his, and who is holy; and will cause him to come near unto him: even him whom he hath chosen will he cause to come near unto him.

Tomorrow, you guys get some censers and put incense in them and stand in front of God, and God will choose who He likes.

Moses gets kind of pissed at Korah, because he's already of Levi and a member of the Kohathites anyway.

9 Seemeth it but a small thing unto you, that the God of Israel hath separated you from the congregation of Israel, to bring you near to himself to do the service of the tabernacle of the LORD, and to stand before the congregation to minister unto them?


Saying, God already made you a Levite and his priest, but NOOOO, you want to be the top guy, basically saying, "don't you realize, you already are special?"

So the next day comes, and Dathan and Abiram don't show up. They say "Hell no, we ain't going, You'll kill us."

13 Is it a small thing that thou hast brought us up out of a land that floweth with milk and honey, to kill us in the wilderness, except thou make thyself altogether a prince over us?

14 Moreover thou hast not brought us into a land that floweth with milk and honey, or given us inheritance of fields and vineyards: wilt thou put out the eyes of these men? we will not come up.


Your brought us out of Egypt, which was a land of plenty, to kill us in the wilderness. Not ONLY did you not get us into a land of plenty, now you want to kill us... oh and you made yourself a God too. We AIN'T GOIN!!!

This, of course angered Moses. (The most meek person in the world.)

So Moses reminds Korah to go, him and the rest of the 250.

18 And they took every man his censer, and put fire in them, and laid incense thereon, and stood in the door of the tabernacle of the congregation with Moses and Aaron.

So all the bad guys were there.

God said to Moses,

21 Separate yourselves from among this congregation, that I may consume them in a moment.

You might want to leave, I'm going on a killing spree!

Oh, and go find the 2 guys who are too chicken to show up.

25 And Moses rose up and went unto Dathan and Abiram; and the elders of Israel followed him.


So Moses and Aaron go talk to them, Dathan and Abiram stand in the doorway with their entire family, while Moses talks to them.

28 And Moses said, Hereby ye shall know that the LORD hath sent me to do all these works; for I have not done them of mine own mind.


He says, if you guys die a normal death of old age, then God didn't send me. BUT....



31 And it came to pass, as he had made an end of speaking all these words, that the ground clave asunder that was under them:

32 And the earth opened her mouth, and swallowed them up, and their houses, and all the men that appertained unto Korah, and all their goods.




It's not often that the earth opens up, swallows up everyone who is bad (and only the bad ones... well and their families) and then closes up.

33 They, and all that appertained to them, went down alive into the pit, and the earth closed upon them: and they perished from among the congregation.

One way ticket, right to HELL! PRAISE JESUS!!!

35 And there came out a fire from the LORD, and consumed the two hundred and fifty men that offered incense.

So right after having the earth swallow Dathan and Abiram, God then sends a fire to consume the other 250 guys, who were holding the censers in the tabernacle. (Remind you of when Aaron's two boys, Nadab and Abihu, held the strange fire in front of God?)


37 Speak unto Eleazar the son of Aaron the priest, that he take up the censers out of the burning, and scatter thou the fire yonder; for they are hallowed.

Then take the censers and beat them into plates to cover the altar, so that everyone can know that ONLY Aaron's children can offer incense to the LORD.

40 To be a memorial unto the children of Israel, that no stranger, which is not of the seed of Aaron, come near to offer incense before the LORD; that he be not as Korah, and as his company: as the LORD said to him by the hand of Moses.

Guess what happened the next day...

41 But on the morrow all the congregation of the children of Israel murmured against Moses and against Aaron, saying, Ye have killed the people of the LORD.

That's right, MORE BITCHING JEWS!!!

So God comes down to the tentbernacle and he says.

45 Get you up from among this congregation, that I may consume them as in a moment. And they fell upon their faces.


God wants to kill them all again!

46 And Moses said unto Aaron, Take a censer, and put fire therein from off the altar, and put on incense, and go quickly unto the congregation, and make an atonement for them: for there is wrath gone out from the LORD; the plague is begun.

God slowly starts killing people with the plague, kind of like Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark, only a little bit slower.

So Aaron, gets his censer and runs into the middle of the congregation, and then God stops killing them.

49 Now they that died in the plague were fourteen thousand and seven hundred, beside them that died about the matter of Korah.


So, from the second day of murmuring, God killed 14,700 people. The day before we know he killed 250 people for sure, and also killed (by having the earth swallow them) the families of Dathan and Abiram.

PRAISE HIM!!!

This episode in Numbers 16, makes me wonder why Mudslims have to go and cut the heads off of infidels. If God really wanted Daniel Pearl dead, He could have consumed him with fire, or had the earth open to swallow him. The terrorist shouts of "Allah Akbar" (God is Great) just shows that their god isn't great. Our God is great, he's the one who kills people himself. Their pussy god needs people to chop heads off for him.

Numbers 17.

God wants to prove to the people that it is Aaron (and his seed) that is the one that is His minister.

2 Speak unto the children of Israel, and take of every one of them a rod according to the house of their fathers, of all their princes according to the house of their fathers twelve rods: write thou every man's name upon his rod.

3 And thou shalt write Aaron's name upon the rod of Levi: for one rod shall be for the head of the house of their fathers.


So, God's plan is that one night, all the rods are to be put in the tentbernacle over night, and the rod that starts to blossom, will PROVE that the family of that rod is the one to be the group that talks to God.

So Moses puts the rods in overnight.

8 And it came to pass, that on the morrow Moses went into the tabernacle of witness; and, behold, the rod of Aaron for the house of Levi was budded, and brought forth buds, and bloomed blossoms, and yielded almonds.

Who didn't see that coming?

So Moses shows everyone the rods, and the people murmured again (they have a tendency to do that).

12 And the children of Israel spake unto Moses, saying, Behold, we die, we perish, we all perish.

13 Whosoever cometh any thing near unto the tabernacle of the LORD shall die: shall we be consumed with dying?


They are upset, that only the Levites are the ones that get to go deep into the tentbernacle.

Numbers 18

1 And the LORD said unto Aaron, Thou and thy sons and thy father's house with thee shall bear the iniquity of the sanctuary: and thou and thy sons with thee shall bear the iniquity of your priesthood.


It's a rough life of having to subside on the offerings of everyone else.


4 And they shall be joined unto thee, and keep the charge of the tabernacle of the congregation, for all the service of the tabernacle: and a stranger shall not come nigh unto you.

5 And ye shall keep the charge of the sanctuary, and the charge of the altar: that there be no wrath any more upon the children of Israel.


So long as no one else goes in, God won't kill them like he did the 250, 14,700 and the ones He had the earth eat.

God then reiterates that the Levites get the offerings.

21 And, behold, I have given the children of Levi all the tenth in Israel for an inheritance, for their service which they serve, even the service of the tabernacle of the congregation.

And everyone else has to stay away from the tentbernacle.

22 Neither must the children of Israel henceforth come nigh the tabernacle of the congregation, lest they bear sin, and die.

So what have we learned today?

1. If you try to claim the chief priesthood from Moses, God will kill you, and probably all your family too.

2. If your staff blossoms overnight, then God likes you best.

3. The Levites get the tenth. It's not necessarily directly for the LORD, they can take it home and feed their families with it.

Reminds me of the joke about the cathylick priest, presbyterian minister and the rabbi. They were out golfing and were talking about what they do with their respective houses of worship's offerings.

The priest said he draws a circle in the ground, throws up all the collection and what falls in the circle he keeps, what falls on the outside is for god's work.

The presby says he draws a circle and what falls in the circle is for the lord, and the outside is his.

The rabbi says, he throws it all up in the air, and what god wants, he keeps.

YIC
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Default Re: Day 44. Numbers 16-18 - 05-21-2010, 08:52 PM

41 But on the morrow all the congregation of the children of Israel murmured against Moses and against Aaron, saying, Ye have killed the people of the LORD.

Are you kidding me? After they saw the earth swallow 'em up?

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