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Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow.

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Default Who is this guy? - 06-19-2008, 03:28 PM
I am unsure about his true intentions....

http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com...r-the-lord.php

Quote:
Friends in Christ:

Today I'm announcing to the faithful that I am being called by the Lord to perform some dangerous undercover work in his name. While I most certainly am not looking forward to being away from my wife and children - I understood when I took this job that I would need to make sacrifices. And when I reveal to you just how deep undercover I must go - I'm sure I'll receive many people begging me not to go. But remember - I'm only an instrument of the lord. I allow myself to be used whenever it's necessary.



Leviticus 26:27-29

27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.
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Default Re: Who is this guy? - 06-19-2008, 03:40 PM
I think it looks like some sort of sick joke religious-mocking thing, and I think he should be shot so that he can get to Hell that much faster.

"Come Unto Me. Put forth thine hand now, and touch all that he hath." (Matthew 19:14, Job 1:11).
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Default Re: Who is this guy? - 06-19-2008, 03:42 PM
The avatar is Ted Haggard, the disgraced preacher.

That guy sounds pretty gay, so hopefully he is just impersonating our Pastor Ezekiel. And it's obviously not brother Bathfire.

Just what we need, another Ezekiel.

May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Default Re: Who is this guy? - 06-19-2008, 07:56 PM
A sad, sorry little attempt at humor using our beloved Pastor Zeke's first name and our Godly President's last name.

Mark 16:17 And these attesting signs will accompany those who believe: in My Name they will drive out demons.

1 Kings 21:14 Then they sent to Jezebel, saying, Naboth is stoned . . .

A SPIRITUAL WARFARE PRAYER:
 Father, In Jesus' Name, I take the Blood of Jesus and break the power of all witches, warlocks, wizards, satanists, sorcerers, wiccans, pagans, and any other source, and all of their rituals off of us. With the Blood of Jesus, I erase all evil lines drawn on our liver. . .
LANDOVER BAPTIST DEMON HUNTING PERMIT #00666-27



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Default Re: Who is this guy? - 06-19-2008, 09:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Justina Thyme View Post
A sad, sorry little attempt at humor using our beloved Pastor Zeke's first name and our Godly President's last name.
Anyone who has read his posts knows that Pastor Ezekiel is nothing more than the picture of masculinity and heterosexuality! He would never spend time cavorting with homosexuals, letting them have their wicked way with him that he might infiltrate their deepest dungeons of depravity!!

Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Default Re: Who is this guy? - 06-20-2008, 02:01 AM
Been there, done that. Good luck to him. Jesus uses us in mysterious, Manly ways.

Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Who is this guy? - 06-24-2008, 07:03 PM
Quote:
I need for all of you to pray hard for me. From what I can tell, these men of Sodom will definitely sniff out an impostor. Like an undercover drug dealer, I'm afraid I'll have to "taste the merchandise". I'll have to throw my flabby naked white body into that orgy of depravity in order to ensure them that I'm one of them. I'll take a dirty Sanchez for Jesus!
Notice he uses the word "ensure" rather than "convince". I can see it now...

This guy is taking a tallywhacker up the poop-chute...

Quote:
"Say, (gggrrrrRRR!!!!!) Have you (ARrrrGGhhHH!HOLYJESUS!MMFFGGHH!!) hear the 'Good News'?"
I hope for his sake that Jesus "Rod of God" Sanchez comes quickly...and repents of his Sodomite ways.
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