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The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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AbandonedByDeath AbandonedByDeath is offline
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Default Ready to Learn and Grow - 08-05-2013, 09:06 PM

About two months ago, some friends send me this website to make fun of it. They thought everything was hilarious, and so did I for a little while, and then I realized that you guys have something to believe in when I didn't. I was being selfish and only living for myself, so I started reading everything I could about faith and Jesus. I've finally decided to join the website, so I can learn more about your faith. I want to be a Christian and do everything I am supposed to so God will allow me to be saved. I'm so excited to learn! I've been visiting a Baptist church in Marrietta, but they don't seem to believe the same things that are believe by the good members of this forum. I am praying God will lead me to a true church soon. I don't want to keep being a fool like I have been my whole life. My favorite Bible verse is Philippians 4:6 because I know through this verse that if I search, God will lead me into the straight path. I guess that is why I'm here? I'm so excited to learn from you all.
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Default Re: Ready to Learn and Grow - 08-05-2013, 09:09 PM

PRAISE AND GLORY!

Only thing you need to learn from us is to read your Bible and take every word as the one word of Truth® from God.

Where else are you going to find out about what Jesus really wants you to do?
Matthew 7:13,14
Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.



Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
The truth about volcanos
Sex and debauchery in public schools
Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.
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Default Re: Ready to Learn and Grow - 08-05-2013, 09:13 PM

Welcome friend. You need to dispose of your previous associates like old underRoos. Then realize that it is all about God and what He wants. If He deems you are worthy, He will take care of you. I will not mention what He may do if He decides you are more worthless than a EMO punk.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Ready to Learn and Grow - 08-06-2013, 02:02 AM

Praise Jesus and welcome to God's favorite forum. I am overjoyed that Christ has sent you to us for His Blessings. Please feel free to tell us all about yourself and your history of perverted sins.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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AbandonedByDeath AbandonedByDeath is offline
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Default Re: Ready to Learn and Grow - 08-06-2013, 02:43 AM

Thank you so much for the welcome! I'm so excited to learn! I want to post a picture as my avatar, but I unfortunately have piercings in my face. I feel like I really need to take those out right? I was googling what the Bible has to say about piercings.

A little about me? My life is an embarrassing wreck. I had no idea what I was doing until I started searching about Jesus. I don't know. I'm so new. I don't know what to say. I've been letting myself run wild lately. I moved out of my parents house as soon as I turned 18. I moved to Atlanta and in with my boyfriend at the time, but I'm thankfully still a virgin. I live by myself now. I was into modeling for a while, but it didn't satisfy me. It just felt gross. I work as a waitress and teach violin to children. On a typical night I go out to the clubs and party with my friends, but that also makes me feel all gross. I always pretend to enjoy it because it's the "cool" thing to do. From here on out though, I'm praying God will help me resist peer pressure. It's not ok! I'm so excited to be welcomed into this group. I'll be sure to be super respectful because I am sure that's what God wants of me. Thank you again. I'm going to go read through some stuff now.
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Default Re: Ready to Learn and Grow - 08-06-2013, 02:56 AM

Welcome to our forums, dear! It's nice to see a young lady reject the cold, heartless Way of the World and turn her heart and soul to JESUS!

I will advise you like I do my own daughters - stop everything and pray! By quitting your jobs, you will save probably 30-50 hours per week that is far more effectively invested in the pursuit of prayer! Add that to the time you would be clubbing, and you have probably another 15-20 hours. You'll avoid getting pregnant, throwing up in the toilet every morning, finding an abortion clinic, organizing an abortion party with your former friends, and BAM, another 30 hours at least that could be spent instead following JESUS! With the lack of income, you'll be spending less money on food, thus cutting down time shopping, eating, and eliminating waste. Just think, you could be spending every waking hour in prayer and supplication, just as our dear Lord commands (1 Thessalonians 5:17)!

Oh my spirit rejoices in another lost sheep finding the voice of her Shepherd!





But he was wounded for our transgressions,
he was bruised for our iniquities:
the chastisement of our peace was upon him;
and with his stripes we are healed.
Isaiah 53:5




Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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AbandonedByDeath AbandonedByDeath is offline
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Red face Re: Ready to Learn and Grow - 08-06-2013, 03:21 AM

How do I support myself if I quit my jobs? I can't move back home to my parents because they don't want me anymore, and I don't have a husband. I have a boyfriend, but he is NOT a godly man. Should I find a church family to move in with? Would a job in a church be appropriate? Can woman work in a church? I could work in a nursery maybe? I need guidance. I have no idea what I'm doing now. :\ I wish my parents were godly parents. I could really have used their help.
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Default Re: Ready to Learn and Grow - 08-06-2013, 03:36 AM

Hello, and welcome to Landover. I was a little concerned about that "Baptist" church.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AbandonedByDeath View Post
I've been visiting a Baptist church ,, ,,



Quote:
Originally Posted by AbandonedByDeath View Post
,, ,, I unfortunately have piercings in my face.
Are you saying they let you in with head piercings? You should get the joint checked out by one of the Pastors before returning. When I was a teenager my behaviour was dreadful and I remember how easy it was to "please" my "friends" but they were working to get me into HELL FOREVER and were quite successful. Satan never actually got me to pierce my head, he knows that it is just a way of mocking Jesus.
Zechariah 12:10 And I will pour upon the house of David, and upon the inhabitants of Jerusalem, the spirit of grace and of supplications: and they shall look upon me whom they have pierced, and they shall mourn for him, as one mourneth for his only son, and shall be in bitterness for him, as one that is in bitterness for his firstborn.

John 19: 34-37 But one of the soldiers with a spear pierced his side, and forthwith came there out blood and water. And he that saw it bare record, and his record is true: and he knoweth that he saith true, that ye might believe. For these things were done, that the scripture should be fulfilled, A bone of him shall not be broken. And again another scripture saith, They shall look on him whom they pierced.
KJV
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Default Re: Ready to Learn and Grow - 08-06-2013, 05:00 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by AbandonedByDeath View Post
I've been visiting a Baptist church in Marrietta, but they don't seem to believe the same things that are believe by the good members of this forum.
You seem to know a lot about what other people believe. You should be paying more attention to what YOU believe.


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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AbandonedByDeath AbandonedByDeath is offline
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Default Re: Ready to Learn and Grow - 08-06-2013, 04:55 PM

The church I was visiting at just didn't seem like they cared what any of the members did. The pastor told a crude joke at the pulpit and all the girls were wearing super revealing clothing. The guys had gauges and piercings and tattoos. It just made me wonder why I should go to church if those people are just as bad as I am. I don't want to go back there. Nobody ever really spoke to me, except maybe a few of the older people.
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Default Re: Ready to Learn and Grow - 08-06-2013, 05:03 PM

Quote:
I moved to Atlanta and in with my boyfriend at the time, but I'm thankfully still a virgin.
Young man, while I applaud your choice not to engage in the gaywism you must know that being a gay man (or woman) is NOT a good thing.

Leviticus 18:22 "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination."
Leviticus 20:13 "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them."
Romans 1:26-27 "For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet."

I hope these verse are as illuminating for you as they were for me.

God bless.


1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Default Re: Ready to Learn and Grow - 08-06-2013, 05:26 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by AbandonedByDeath View Post
The church I was visiting at just didn't seem like they cared what any of the members did. The pastor told a crude joke at the pulpit and all the girls were wearing super revealing clothing. The guys had gauges and piercings and tattoos. It just made me wonder why I should go to church if those people are just as bad as I am. I don't want to go back there. Nobody ever really spoke to me, except maybe a few of the older people.
You obviously went to the wrong church. You would have to be blind to see that there was something wrong there.


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is offline
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Default Re: Ready to Learn and Grow - 08-06-2013, 06:34 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by AbandonedByDeath View Post
How do I support myself if I quit my jobs?
What did Jesus say about supporting oneself?

And seek not ye what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink, neither be ye of doubtful mind.
For all these things do the nations of the world seek after: and your Father knoweth that ye have need of these things.
But rather seek ye the kingdom of God; and all these things shall be added unto you.
Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom.
Luke 12:29-32


So you see, you need to truly become a Christian, put all your faith in Him. He is Jehovah Roi, The LORD Is My Shepherd. Put your trust in Him, not a pay check. Pay checks come to an end, but God will never abandon His Own (Hebrews 13:5).

The only way to trust in God’s sovereign control and rest in it is to know God. Know His attributes, know what He has done in the past, and thus build your confidence in Him. Read the Holy Bible, immerse yourself in the Truth© therein. The Bible tells us True Christians™ shall be strong, we shall be greater than conquerors (Romans 8:37). Imagine that kind of power in the hands of a True Christian™, and strive for that. We can rejoice in our God’s sovereignty, and His holiness, which means we can rejoice in His care for His Children (Colossians1:12). Can your earthly job guarantee you strength, power, glory (Philippians 4:19)?


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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AbandonedByDeath AbandonedByDeath is offline
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AbandonedByDeath is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.AbandonedByDeath is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Ready to Learn and Grow - 08-07-2013, 03:27 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Laurence Niles View Post
Young man, while I applaud your choice not to engage in the gaywism you must know that being a gay man (or woman) is NOT a good thing.
Oh, no worries there Sir. I'm definitely a female and am very against homosexuality. I find it gross and completely unnecessary. My real name is Christina, but everyone calls me Chrissy or Christa. You all are welcome to call me whatever; I'll respond to nearly anything.

I'm still SO excited about changing my life!
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