[Larry Lee]

Lauren Boebert hung out at the Fireside Lanes in Rifle, Colorado to be near her future husband, Jayson and his tattooed penis. This is in the public record. Lauren loved Jayson's artwork. What's also in the public record is that Jayson Steven Boebert loved to take out his penis and show off his artwork to young girls in the bowling-lane snack bar. Being uncircumcised, Jayson's artwork was a bit too pungent for some girls to handle, and one of them speed-dialed the county sheriff. As a result, Jayson pleaded guilty to charges of “public indecency and lewd exposure" and served four days in jail and a subsequent two years on probation.

What neither Lauren nor the public record have ever revealed is the exact nature of Jayson's artwork. Is it a simple outline of Ronald Reagan's profile or a full color mural from root to glans? Regardless, Jayson's penis is the most famous tattooed penis in American politics, and we can see how it's exerted its influence all the way to the Supreme Court.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Curious minds want to know whether tallywhacker tattoos require stroking to unfurl their penile panorama artwork.

Also, charges of "public indecency and lewd exposure" would certainly interfere with Jayson Boebert's First Amendment rights when it comes to Kunst - and why wasn't this appealed to the SCOTUS?

Take the wheel Jesus.

[Johny Joe Hold]

I hope it is original artwork and not a copy of someone else's. There could be copywrite problems on top of these other issues.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Originally Posted by WilliamJenningsBryan

Curious minds want to know whether tallywhacker tattoos require stroking to unfurl their penile panorama artwork.

Also, charges of "public indecency and lewd exposure" would certainly interfere with Jayson Boebert's First Amendment rights when it comes to Kunst - and why wasn't this appealed to the SCOTUS?

Take the wheel Jesus.

The SCROTUS ruled on the difference between obscenity and Kunst in 1964, based on the criteria I know it when I see it. The key point being is that you must see it - which is why the older man revealed his artwork to teenage girls at the bowling alley.

Judge for yourself. Women and minors might want to look away. On second thoughts, minors are OK.

[WWJDnow]

Why does the man always get blamed, but nobody ever points a finger at the 17 year old girl who caused this incident, probably by wearing provocative clothing and acting suggestively? Any man would whip his tallywhacker out in public when faced with this level of temptation. That's how the Devil gets us.

A man can't act like a man anymore without the PC police stepping in to serve as judge, jury, and executioner. That Jezebel should have been arrested for lude behavior. Jayson Boebert was the victim here, not the perpetrator, and the fact that he was railroaded into a guilty plea is the worst miscarriage of justice I have ever seen.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Originally Posted by WWJDnow

Any man would whip his tallywhacker out in public when faced with this level of temptation.

Brother DNow, if that's against the law then lock me up. We're all Jayson Boebert.

[Larry Lee]

Oh oh... AND HOLY Hið Íslenzka Reðasafn! The Icelandic Phallological Museum has issued a warrant for Lauren Boebert's husband's "artwork". The museum specializes in preserving rare penises, and its curatorial staff have identified Jayson Boebert's penis as a critical acquisition for promotion of the museum's mission and collection development. In fact, the Icelandic government under Guðni Jóhannesson signed-off on the warrant, which charged the Huldufólk (comparable to Israeli Mossad and American Seals) to collect Jayson's penis and bring it home to Iceland... Fox News has reported that Lauren Boebert has enquired about the availability of a "finder's fee" or if she could collect the penis herself and FedEx it to Iceland -- or, perhaps, Lauren wondered -- at Joni Ernst's urging -- if Iceland would also be interested in acquiring Jayson's oysters. Fox News and One America News are following this story closely.