[Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D.]

Dear friends,

A great opportunity to earn money has come to my attention. I wanted to share this with all my Christian friends. "Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you." (John 15:14)

This opportunity is about "cloud based data storage". Let me start with explaining what that is. "Data storage" has something to do with computers. It is very complicated but every computer seems to do it. Since data takes up space and space is getting more and more expensive someone smart decided to use clouds for storage. Instead of creating buildings and using those to store data, the data is put into containers which are attached to balloons which are high in the sky. Hence the name "cloud based data storage". It was invented by Amazon. They had to store so many books, since no one buys books anymore, that they had to invent a cheaper way of storing them. Amazon was so successful with this that they decided to make a complete business out of it. A wise decision since selling books is no longer a viable business. All this reminds me of the greatest storage expert of all time, Noah: "Make thee an ark of gopher wood; rooms shalt thou make in the ark, and shalt pitch it within and without with pitch. And this is the fashion which thou shalt make it of: The length of the ark shall be three hundred cubits, the breadth of it fifty cubits, and the height of it thirty cubits." (Genesis 6:14-15)

The great opportunity I found for all of you is a company called Super Simple Storage Service (S4) that does what Amazon does 150 times cheaper! Not only does this mean you have to sell whatever Amazon stocks you have as soon as possible. It also means a great opportunity to make some serious money! "Whoever sows generously will also reap generously"! (2nd Corinthians 9:6)

Here you can see how much money it saves. This example is about "4 TB of storage with 50 billion transactions". I have no idea what that means but I have been told it is a lot.


There are three ways in which you can profit from this once in a lifetime opportunity. If you have a business you can throw away all your data and use this great company instead. Of course you can invest in them and make some money or you can hire a Christian investment expert, me, and let me handle all your investments for you and become a millionaire! "Can two walk together, except they be agreed?" (Amos 3:3)

Yours in Christ,

Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D.

Disclaimer: All investments involve different degrees of risk. You should be aware of your risk tolerance level and financial situations at all times. Furthermore, you should memorize the entire Holy Bible and read all transaction confirmations, monthly, and year-end statements. Read any and all prospectuses carefully and do extensive multi-year research before making any investment decisions. You are free at all times to accept or reject all investment recommendations made by me, although I have to warn you that you risk burning in Hell for all eternity when you choose to ignore my advice of hiring me as your investment adviser. All transactions I execute on your behalf are subject to market risk and may result in the entire loss of your investment. (For example: excessive withdrawals may result in the depletion of your account and also in the accumulation of excessive debt which will become entirely yours and your responsibility). Please understand that any losses are attributed to divine intervention or market forces beyond my control. As you know, a recommendation, which you are free to accept or reject, is not a guarantee for the successful performance of an investment and I expressly prohibited from guaranteeing against losses arising from market conditions or the excessive fees you will have to pay me.

[Sister Charli]

Pastor Manning,

is there a minimum investment?

I got a little bit of an inheritance after Daddy passed away and I do not understand investing at all. So it is good to have a Pastor that I can trust with my money.

[HTannor]

Very tempting, my good doctor, very tempting.

I would like to meet with you to further explore this opportunity. Is there a chance you would be free tomorrow evening to discuss this over dinner?

We have a small group of investors. In addition to myself, there is Jolene Terwilliger, the Dingle sisters -Dolly and Dotty, and Roger McGraw (sadly, Roger is a quadriplegic, but means well).

I'm thinking seven tomorrow evening at my home. 123 Shady Lane, in the Freehold Trailer Park.

Nothing formal, mind you, just a nice get together. I'll fire up the Charbroil, and Roger will cook the hamburgers. (His burger-flipping is something to behold. I'm continually mystified how he's able to do it holding the spatula in his mouth)

Jolene will provide the liquid refreshments. While she dismisses her concoction as merely "cough medicine", it is really quite tasty over ice.

The Dingle sisters tell me they're whipping up a special surprise for you. The girls assure me you will be left speechless after a taste of their pies.

So, it's all settled then.

Seven o'clock, my place.

[Warner S. Davidson]

Pastor Manning

This is very interesting.

I have a very solid and consistent level of liquidity flowing into my accounts monthly. We should chat sometime as good True Christian™ financial advice is sometimes hard to find -

Shout Glory that Jesus sent you to us

[Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D.]

Dear friends,

Originally Posted by Sister Charli

is there a minimum investment?

I have fitting solutions for every budget. Mostly it is just a matter of analyzing your assets and using them to back a huge loan. Don't forget to pay everything you loan back though as "The wicked borrow and do not repay." (Psalm 37:21)

Originally Posted by HTannor

So, it's all settled then. Seven o'clock, my place.

I am looking forward to it! Do you like whiskey? "Go thy way, eat thy bread with joy, and drink thy wine with a merry heart." (Ecclesiastes 9:7)

Originally Posted by Warner S. Davidson

I have a very solid and consistent level of liquidity flowing into my accounts monthly. We should chat sometime as good True Christian™ financial advice is sometimes hard to find -

Shall we have diner one of these days? My treat of course. "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning." (James 1:17)

Yours in Christ,

Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D.

[HTannor]

Originally Posted by Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D.

.............Do you like whiskey? ...........

Why, yes, I do.

I've found that whiskey is so much more than a refreshing breakfast drink.

[Nobar King]

What happens to your data if it rains?

[Benedict A. Davis]

When reading many business contracts they say negative things about ''acts of God'', ''We are not responsible for your investments due to any damages caused by acts of God'', ''contract voided in times of war,civil unrest or at times of emergency caused by acts of God''.
It would seem that many people believe God is against many types of investments, what is your advice when contracts are written with that type of clause included?

[Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D.]

Dear Friends,

Originally Posted by Nobar King

What happens to your data if it rains?

The same thing that happens to it if it does not rain. "Watered the whole face of the ground." (Genesis 2:6)

Originally Posted by Benedict A. Davis

When reading many business contracts they say negative things about ''acts of God'', ''We are not responsible for your investments due to any damages caused by acts of God'', ''contract voided in times of war,civil unrest or at times of emergency caused by acts of God''. It would seem that many people believe God is against many types of investments, what is your advice when contracts are written with that type of clause included?

Make sure to invest in things God approves of. "A faithful man will abound with blessings." (Proverbs 28:20)

Yours in Christ,

Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D.

[Sister Charli]

Oh I do not understand a word of any of this.

Daddy left me money in his will.

I have no idea what is a good investment.

BUT of course I trust a pastor.

Where do I send the money?

And can you help me do my tax return?

[Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D.]

Dear Sister Charli,

Originally Posted by Sister Charli

Daddy left me money in his will. I have no idea what is a good investment. BUT of course I trust a pastor. Where do I send the money? And can you help me do my tax return?

In a few days a lawyer, whom I am acquainted to, will visit you. Just answer all his questions and sign all papers he wants you to sign and I will take care of your investments from now on. Please make sure you have all papers related to your assets, e.g. proof of ownership of your house, ready. "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee." (Isaiah 26:3)

Yours in Christ,

Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D.

[Talitha]

Cloud based. Just like being in Heaven.
I shall fill out the forms and send them on to my Joo Lawyers immediately.

[HTannor]

We can’t thank you enough for visiting us last night and explaining in greater detail your ideas for our investment strategy.

I think the dinner went well, all things considered.

The little “accident” you had on the way to the bathroom was easily cleaned up. As you can see, it wasn’t all that big a deal:

I’ll get another 12 pack of Brawny paper towels tomorrow. Don’t be concerned about the carpet stains. The carpet from the kitchen table all the way to the privy needs to be replaced anyway.

Your suggestion to Jolene that her excellent elixir really needs to be marketed in the laxative section of super markets was not well received, and she says, “No.” She is convinced its real target market is in the “Cough Medicine” section.

The Dingle sisters, Dolly and Dotty, want to send their apologies, and, I’m sure, really mean it this time considering your lofty status as a medical doctor and a theologian. They said you told them you prefer ministering to the younger set, and I quote here: “You seem to be better equipped for that mission in life.” I have no idea what they meant, but they claim some expertise in judging that sort of thing.

Roger (the quadriplegic) was pleased that you enjoyed his hamburgers. He said you gave him some really good tips in spatula control using only his mouth. He said you appear to be a real expert in use of the tongue. That was somewhat strange since the Dingle sisters said the same thing.

Now, about your investment recommendations: my partners and I have given a great deal of consideration to your proposal and have decided the turn over all our financial matters to you. Since we invested our bankroll of nearly $400 in Brother Porter’s venture, we have little on tap in the way of liquid assets. However, since Brother James Dewitt saw fit to trust us with his Platinum credit card with nearly $16,000 left in his limit, we are going to give that to you to secure our financial futures.

Please let me know when the dividend checks will start arriving.

[Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D.]

Dear HTannor,

Originally Posted by HTannor

We can’t thank you enough for visiting us last night and explaining in greater detail your ideas for our investment strategy.

It was a most pleasant evening.

The Dingle sisters, Dolly and Dotty, want to send their apologies, and, I’m sure, really mean it this time considering your lofty status as a medical doctor and a theologian. They said you told them you prefer ministering to the younger set, and I quote here: “You seem to be better equipped for that mission in life.” I have no idea what they meant, but they claim some expertise in judging that sort of thing.

I must say I have seldom seen anyone more eager to be filled with the joy of Jesus than Dolly and Dotty.

Now, about your investment recommendations: my partners and I have given a great deal of consideration to your proposal and have decided the turn over all our financial matters to you.

I am glad to hear that. Did you sign those papers I left for you yet?

Yours in Christ,

Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D.

[Sister Charli]

Originally Posted by Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D.

Dear Sister Charli,

In a few days a lawyer, whom I am acquainted to, will visit you. Just answer all his questions and sign all papers he wants you to sign and I will take care of your investments from now on. Please make sure you have all papers related to your assets, e.g. proof of ownership of your house, ready. "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee." (Isaiah 26:3)

Yours in Christ,

Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D.

Thank you Pastor Manning.

I truly appreciate your financial advice and expertise.

However, my fiancée` Disciple Luke will need to sign any papers on my behalf now that Daddy is walking with Jesus. He will be down in Perth this Saturday for the night.

YIC,
Sister Charli.

[Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D.]

Dear Charli,

Originally Posted by Sister Charli

I truly appreciate your financial advice and expertise. However, my fiancée` Disciple Luke will need to sign any papers on my behalf now that Daddy is walking with Jesus. He will be down in Perth this Saturday for the night.

Take your time, there is no need to rush these things. "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience" (Galatians 5:22)

Yours in Christ,

Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D.

[Free Market Fred]

Originally Posted by Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D.

Dear friends,

A great opportunity to earn money has come to my attention. I wanted to share this with all my Christian friends....

...There are three ways in which you can profit from this once in a lifetime opportunity. If you have a business you can throw away all your data and use this great company instead. Of course you can invest in them and make some money or you can hire a Christian investment expert, me, and let me handle all your investments for you

Hello Pastor J.C.,

It always inspires me to see new business ventures such as yours taking off. Reminds me of my early days, when I started out in business peddling cures for cancer door-to-door. I managed to convince a number of patients to stop their chemotherapy and use my exclusive patented medication instead.


Good for what ails you

Needless to say, I've branched out and have invested in many other businesses. Nevertheless, I still have a soft spot for helping the sick, and I continue to run a pharmaceutical company which manufactures low-cost medications in China. Although based on market principles, even the liberal Huffington Post noticed my charitable medical work and ran an article about it:

Counterfeit Prescription Drugs a Growing Threat

n March, a Homeland Security official told Congress that counterfeit pharmaceuticals were "a major growing health and safety issue." That same month an FDA official testified that the pharmaceutical supply chain from raw materials to consumer has become increasing complex, making "oversight significantly more difficult and leaves weaknesses through which counterfeit, adulterated and misbranded products might infiltrate the legitimate supply chain."

It's likely both these officials had been briefed about the case of Kevin Xu -- a Chinese national who was caught trying to sell genuine drugs to undercover Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) and FDA agents in 2007....continued

As the article mentions, the communist FDA arrested our distributor, Kevin Xu. Fortunately, he was easily replaced, and business is better than ever. Still, I think it proves just how important it is for us to elect Tea Party candidates in order to get government off the backs of business, and enact more bailouts.

But I digress. About your cloud computing business, it's a great idea. My company has already been doing work along these lines, marketing our pharmaceuticals from the safety of web sites based in China and Russia, two democratic countries that still value free market freedoms (unlike the USA which has gone Marxist after ACORN pulled off the coup that installed Barack Hussein in late 2008).

Anyway, I just wanted to give you some advice - locate your servers and bank accounts outside the jurisdiction of Obama's ACORN thugs. As already mentioned, China and Russia are both good, but Nigeria and Zimbabwe are two other excellent possibilities for running your server farm. In fact, it's a good idea to spread your resources - throws Interpol off balance if you don't have all your eggs in one basket. For banking, I recommend the Cayman Islands, which is also an excellent place to live while awaiting Rapture (after the soon-to-come US financial Armageddon). It's also near the Dominican Republic, a great island vacation spot popularized by Rush Limbaugh - consider it a fringe benefit.


Fringe benefits

So, welcome to the business community. Let me know if you get over to Asia - there's a couple of hot little Cambodian Bible students I can introduce you to.

Hope to see you soon on the golf course, or sipping piña coladas by the swimming pool.

[Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D.]

Dear Free Market Fred,

Thank you for your great advice. I will keep that in mind. "That thou mayest prosper in all that thou doest." (1st Kings 2:3)

I am going on a trip to Australia in a while so I could make a stop in Hong Kong for that golf course you mentioned and to help you fill those Cambodian Bible students with the joy of Jesus. Provided they are not too old. "Bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." (Ephesians 6:4)

Yours in Christ,

Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D.

[Free Market Fred]

Originally Posted by Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D.

I am going on a trip to Australia in a while so I could make a stop in Hong Kong for that golf course you mentioned and to help you fill those Cambodian Bible students with the joy of Jesus. Provided they are not too old. "Bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." (Ephesians 6:4)

Dear Pastor J.C.,

Great news that you'll be dropping in. I've got a couple of Bible students whom I recommend, but feel free to choose one of your own liking. It's hard to pronounce their names in that Cambodian gibberish language they speak, but most also have an English name, and a number.


Just pick a number


Spreading the word of Jesus in Phnom Penh, Cambodia's capital


Bible student party, just after Sunday school


Mandy, one of my most enthusiastic Bible students


Baptism ceremony


Recruiting additional Bible students with a little help from the local authorities

As you can see, we're doing The Lord's work here in Cambodia with great success. I know you're a busy businessman, but I'm glad that you're taking a little time off for some missionary work. If I wasn't so busy myself, I'd like to assume a full-time missionary position, but sadly that's just not possible.