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THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS! Open for the CHRISTmas Season only.

 
 
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Mary Etheldreda's Avatar
Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is offline
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Default Are YOU Ready??? - 12-09-2019, 05:32 PM

He's making a list,
He's checking it twice!
You better be found in the
Lamb's Book of Life!
Jesus Christ is Coming to Town!





Will you let Him in when He comes to YOUR door?


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Emily Brent's Avatar
Emily Brent (On Moderation) Emily Brent is offline
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Default Re: Are YOU Ready??? - 12-09-2019, 05:57 PM

Looks like James Corben with a beard. Love him.
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Basilissa Basilissa is offline
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Jesus Re: Are YOU Ready??? - 12-09-2019, 06:03 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
Will you let Him in when He comes to YOUR door?
Yes!!!! Letting Him in trumps burning in Hell for eternity! I love so much!
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Default Re: Are YOU Ready??? - 12-09-2019, 09:57 PM

We True Christians™ know this guy. Jesus is one tough dude.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Santa Claus Santa Claus is offline
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Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Smile Re: Are YOU Ready??? - 12-10-2019, 07:36 AM

Ho ho ho, Mary my little Ho-Girl!
Are you sure that Jesus is really coming to town? I dare say that among us supernatural beings I am much more reliable.
I_shall_appear_and_deliver! And if you have any plastics that you'd like to have delivered, feel free to visit my wish list thread! This December - as always - I shall not let you down. My prophecy is that there are going to be millions of sightings of me come Christmas day but Jesus (such a sweet child but he never appreciated the myrrh although I must admit that the gold really made his tiny eyes shine with the same glow that Donnie boy used to have those Christmases when he was still a kind and nice wee lad and got his golden toilet seat but I am digressing - that does happen with old age) will be absent - as always. Ho ho ho.


Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas everyone!!
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Default Re: Are YOU Ready??? - 12-10-2019, 08:34 AM

Perhaps Santa is claiming that we're infused with his "spirit" when we wrap parcels for loved ones?

Perhaps there's no Jesus (to be absent) at all?

Yes: these claims need substantiation but so far I've seen nothing persuasive.

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Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Santa Claus is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Smile Re: Are YOU Ready??? - 12-10-2019, 09:10 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor View Post
Perhaps Santa is claiming that we're infused with his "spirit" when we wrap parcels for loved ones?

Perhaps there's no Jesus (to be absent) at all?

Yes: these claims need substantiation but so far I've seen nothing persuasive.
Ho, Mitza! Goo-oo-ood questions! Of course, I don't need faith, and if you remain nice (aren't you a sweet cupcake) I'll deliver. But I bring you good tidings. The best. I am real. For a small fee, you can meet me in a few days in the ALANA Yogyakarta KIDS CLUB, Jl. Palagan Tentara Pelajar Km 7, Jogjakarta (stadsgemeente) 55281, Yogyakarta. You are most welcome to attend.



There's even going to be a choir! Ho ho ho. You can check out who's gonna be there. Will it be I (I don't like the way the subject form "I" is being replaced by "me" in sentences like this but I digress) or Jesus? He's been asking for galvanized nails for Christmas, but I am afraid that after all His failures to manifest and return, his niceness index has plummeted, and he'll only be getting some condensed sod.


Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas everyone!!
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Default Re: Are YOU Ready??? - 12-11-2019, 12:53 PM

Perhaps I wasn't clear: those were questions I'd heard in the lead up to Christmas. They are not questions I need to consider myself. However I am aware that Christmas is celebrated in Indonesia but have experienced enough Selamat Hari Natal for one lifetime. There is a bus that goes the entire length of Java in 24 hours for a very reasonable price – obviously you never know who's going to be sitting next to you. The fact remains, despite the scenery, that they do not acknowledge God as being Jesus (unless they're one of the very few Christians) and the Christmas they observe is therefore pagan.

I'm not sure if nails can be zinc coated. If you use a suitable size (gold?) I've been told that chromium ought to stick. I'm surprised though; I'd never thought of Christ as wearing nail polish (or chrome plating) maybe a misunderstanding? How do you know it was Jesus? As you can see from the "look" it's more likely to be someone else entirely requesting a metallic sheen for their nails.
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Default Re: Are YOU Ready??? - 12-15-2019, 08:33 PM

Oh no....it’s that fat man I keep hearing about in school breaking into people’s houses. Did my Pa not reach you a lesson last time when you broke our windows to climb in our house Santa Claus? Also, I don’t appreciate the decapitated head of a doll you left behind.


My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).
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Dennis Lukes Dennis Lukes is offline
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Default Re: Are YOU Ready??? - 12-15-2019, 11:51 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleReader2231 View Post
Oh no....it’s that fat man I keep hearing about in school breaking into people’s houses. Did my Pa not reach you a lesson last time when you broke our windows to climb in our house Santa Claus? Also, I don’t appreciate the decapitated head of a doll you left behind.
The Catholic demon St. Nicholas, street name "Santa Claus," is also a dirty commie as well. The wealthier a man is, the more likely that Santa will break into his home and rape his children. He NEVER preys on the homes or bridge undersides of poor people. The red suit is a dead giveaway.


But this thread, young Max, is about sweet Jesus. Please try to stay on topic.


"No room for them in the inn" (Luke 2:7)?
Not if they'd come to the Blood of Christ Motel!
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Isabella White Isabella White is offline
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Default Re: Are YOU Ready??? - 12-16-2019, 12:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleReader2231 View Post
Oh no....it’s that fat man I keep hearing about in school breaking into people’s houses. Did my Pa not reach you a lesson last time when you broke our windows to climb in our house Santa Claus? Also, I don’t appreciate the decapitated head of a doll you left behind.
Now, now, dear Sister Maxine, I am sure that you have been through a very trying time there, what with your Pa not safeguarding the trailer to prevent intruders from entering, especially on the eve of the birthday of our blessed and . As Brother Lukes has so kindly noted, this particular thread (or whatever they call these interwebs thingies) is about . However, what you have experienced was nothing more than an attack by adversary, the devil: Satan himself.

You see, Dear, Santa is Satan. Just look at the letters in both words and do a little switch-a-roo of some of them, and then you will see what I am saying. But, in case that is too difficult and you cannot figure it out, I will leave a video link below. But, please -- I beg of you -- do not watch this alone. After what you've been through, it will be terribly traumatic for you, although I know that you will find great comfort afterward when you open your .

A blessed evening to you, Dear,
Sincerely, Isabella W.
P.S. >>>>>>




Lift ye then your voices;
Swell the mighty flood;
Louder still and louder
Praise the precious .
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Jesus Re: Are YOU Ready??? - 12-16-2019, 12:58 AM

Oh Great Granny,

I am so happy that we are both covered by the Cloak of Christ and protected from the sinful entities that try to steal the Birthday of The Christ Child, Who came that glorious morn at night to deliver us from the sins Eve brought upon mankind so many years ago. Oh would I slap her silly given the chance.

Instead of trusting in a jolly old elf we can trust in the Lord to bring us not what we want but what we need. For example, your estate to help me carry on the Great Commission of Jesus to go into the world and preach the Gospel to every creature. Glory! When I think of the money you will leave me I get chills all over. Good things will come of it. More stars in your crown, dear sweet lady. God is so good.

Your precious Larry-Beary


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Isabella White Isabella White is offline
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Default Re: Are YOU Ready??? - 12-16-2019, 01:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry View Post
Oh Great Granny,

I am so happy that we are both covered by the Cloak of Christ and protected from the sinful entities that try to steal the Birthday of The Christ Child, Who came that glorious morn at night to deliver us from the sins Eve brought upon mankind so many years ago. Oh would I slap her silly given the chance.

Instead of trusting in a jolly old elf we can trust in the Lord to bring us not what we want but what we need. For example, your estate to help me carry on the Great Commission of Jesus to go into the world and preach the Gospel to every creature. Glory! When I think of the money you will leave me I get chills all over. Good things will come of it. More stars in your crown, dear sweet lady. God is so good.

Your precious Larry-Beary
Oh, there you are, you great, big, handsome Great-Grandbaby boy! I was just thinking of you earlier, just moments before I posted that last message. You are so right, my Dear, in that we are so fortunate in having the Love and Care of the blessed , , in our lives. It grieves my old heart so to think of the younger generation, looking out their windows, hoping to hear the clattering of the hooves of reindeer on their rooftops. Goodness, if only they could realize that that is all just a trick of Satan to deceive them and to distract them from the truth of the Gospel.

Now, I don't want to ruin a surprise, but I just wanted to ensure that you will be at home for Tuesday of this coming week. I am sending a parcel your way -- your mas gift -- a bit early. Normally, I would not divulge the nature of the gift, but as you've hinted that you need a bit of money for your Ministry, I thought you could use the gift in whichever way you and He see fit, to glorify the Kingdom! Just scroll down and you'll see what I mean. I am sending this sterling soup tureen (made in 1778), which will contain some funds for your evangelical work in your New York village. I hope you won't find it to be too "fussy", considering your virile, he-man nature. Just take the piece to any good antiques dealer to sell, but don't forget to empty it of the bills first!

A blessed evening to, Darling Larry,
Lovingly, Great-Granny Isabella



Lift ye then your voices;
Swell the mighty flood;
Louder still and louder
Praise the precious .
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BrotherLarry BrotherLarry is offline
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Jesus Re: Are YOU Ready??? - 12-16-2019, 01:36 AM

Sell the tureen? But it’s so fabulous ♥️♥️♥️!!!

Not in a million years. But I will be home waiting for the cash. So generous of you my darling Great Granny. God surely put us together for a purpose and I am beginning to see what that is.


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Emily Brent (On Moderation) Emily Brent is offline
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Emily Brent is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Emily Brent is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Are YOU Ready??? - 12-26-2019, 08:01 PM

Happy Bank Holiday - my mood from yesterday:

 

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