Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow. |
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
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Personal security precautions? -
07-11-2014, 08:26 AM
Hi friends, I wonder if you could recommend any precautions --besides keeping a loaded gun in the house, of course-- that a person might take if a person was hypothetically afraid for his life?
Like, let's say maybe you might have inadvertently aroused the ire of a potentially dangerous person who might be interested in harming you?
Does anybody here recommend installing some kind of home surveillance system? Or maybe keeping a German shepherd in the house? I'm just curious, that's all.
Please help, I think he's going to kill me.
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
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Re: Personal security precautions? -
07-11-2014, 08:30 AM
Please don't bother Bobby-Joe with this question. I know he's the security expert, so he's who you'd naturally think to ask, but he works so hard, and he's so busy, and I'm sure he has to field these types of questions constantly, so it's best we just not mention this to him at all.
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Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
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Re: Personal security precautions? -
07-11-2014, 09:16 AM
Brother,
I do think you have anything to fear. God will provide!
Leviticus 25:18 Wherefore ye shall do my statutes, and keep my judgments, and do them; and ye shall dwell in the land in safety.
RUN!!!!!
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
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PHD - Theophysicist Saving The Lost With The Truth Of Applied Theoscience
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Re: Personal security precautions? -
07-11-2014, 09:19 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine
Hi friends, I wonder if you could recommend any precautions --besides keeping a loaded gun in the house, of course-- that a person might take if a person was hypothetically afraid for his life?
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Recite Psalm 23. Sing "Abide with Me."
I'll pray for you.
| Mt 21:42, 44 Jesus saith unto them, Did ye never read in the scriptures, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner: this is the Lord's doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes . . . ? And whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.
Find out what the Bible says about: Fortnite: Battle Royale, asexuality, shaving, psychiatry, chronic fatigue syndrome, babies |
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Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
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Re: Personal security precautions? -
07-11-2014, 10:18 AM
Gosh, I'm sorry, but that smear campaign thread you started, picking on the church's inhouse allotments and accountings, inspired me to unearth and address some old records from 2001 (Hope to be all caught up soon!)
So basically, sorry....too busy to help.
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Moderator Arms Dealer for CHRIST Hands folded for Jesus
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Location: On the Straight and Narrow (Earthly location: Freehold, Iowa)
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Re: Personal security precautions? -
07-12-2014, 06:01 AM
As owner and proprietor of FREEHOLD FIREARMS in Freehold, Iowa, I can assure you there are few people who know as much as I do about home defense.
There's no substitute for the raw power of the SPAS 12 shotgun loaded with fin-stabilized slugs designed for the most accurate and devastating spray of holy death that a man can produce short of calling fire from Heaven.
I recommend installing emergency shutoff switches in every room to kill power to the whole house in case of an intruder. Let them stumble around in the dark, I say, while you strap on a pair of thermal imaging goggles, priced to MOVE at Freehold Firearms.
Of course, this is all useless if the intruder is armed with helmet mounted LED lights or night vision, as well as body armor and riot shields.
And an intruder wise enough to stock up on armor and tactical gear is going to come packing flash bangs and gas grenades. That's why you'll want to call up FREEHOLD FIREARMS, and tell Bob to RUSH you your very own Army-approved gas mask and ultra-protective ear plugs, designed to filter out dangerous impulsive noise while still allowing high end frequencies to reach your ears. And those are the important frequencies my friend, the ones that betray silent steps in the night and breathing that may be sneaking up behind you or hiding around the corner.
You can't be too prepared. After all, your enemies shop with us, too, and nobody can protect you from FREEHOLD FIREARMS like FREEHOLD FIREARMS.
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
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Re: Personal security precautions? -
07-12-2014, 06:24 AM
Thank you Bob. I was thinking more in terms of a burglar alarm, or perhaps a stun gun?
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Moderator Arms Dealer for CHRIST Hands folded for Jesus
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Re: Personal security precautions? -
07-12-2014, 02:29 PM
With apologies, I feel like a burglar alarm and a stun gun are both very womanly ways to defend yourself. That combined with your rainbow avatar gives me cause to worry about you, son.
Have you been praying daily?
If you are on the good side of GOD (and by extension, us) then you don't need to worry about defending your home unless it is against homosexuals and atheists.
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Re: Personal security precautions? -
07-13-2014, 04:29 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob4God
With apologies, I feel like a burglar alarm and a stun gun are both very womanly ways to defend yourself. That combined with your rainbow avatar gives me cause to worry about you, son.
Have you been praying daily?
If you are on the good side of GOD (and by extension, us) then you don't need to worry about defending your home unless it is against homosexuals and atheists.
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Greetings I have been reading through this thread and feel as if you might be able to help me. I live in godless Australia, where all forms of guns are banned unless you are in the army, including things like stun guns . Would you have any suggestions as to what I could do to protect myself should a homosexual approach me? I already have a burglar alarm, but I feel like I should have something I can keep at my person, should a queer come, wishing to defile me. Do you have any ideas of weapons I could use, without breaking the (admittedly stupid) anti-gun laws in Australia?
Atheists! Make the right choice!
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Come stand with us, with Christians, with Jesus, in eternal glory in heaven instead of agony in hell. You won't regret it!
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
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Re: Personal security precautions? -
07-13-2014, 04:40 AM
If you're worried about being raped, I would say the first step is to make sure you aren't dressing provocatively.
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Re: Personal security precautions? -
07-13-2014, 04:48 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine
If you're worried about being raped, I would say the first step is to make sure you aren't dressing provocatively.
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Oh it is not a man I fear being raped by. For I know that if I am raped by a man, it is my fault for not following 1 Timothy 2:9 properly. I immediately would go out searching for a wedding dress, and beg forgiveness. I more am worried about queer women. There are a lot of those where I live, yet my father does not wish to move. Queers have no morals, so they would not care about 1 Timothy 2:9 and whether I am following it.
Atheists! Make the right choice!
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It should be obvious.
Come stand with us, with Christians, with Jesus, in eternal glory in heaven instead of agony in hell. You won't regret it!
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
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Re: Personal security precautions? -
07-13-2014, 04:57 AM
It's important to understand that the lesbian mind works exactly the same way that a male rapist's mind works. They only want to destroy and defile those things that are beautiful and pure.
Therefore, dressing provocatively will inflame a lesbian's baser instincts in exactly the same way that it will inflame a man's.
WARNING:
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Re: Personal security precautions? -
07-13-2014, 05:16 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine
It's important to understand that the lesbian mind works exactly the same way that a male rapist's mind works. They only want to destroy and defile those things that are beautiful and pure.
Therefore, dressing provocatively will inflame a lesbian's baser instincts in exactly the same way that it will inflame a man's.
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I'm sorry but I'm afraid I have to disagree with you on that. A man raping a woman is almost always the woman's fault, for disobeying 1 Timothy 2:9. The man does not want to destroy or defile, they just get lured in by the seductress, so she can then cry 'rape!' If they marry, they may still get into heaven.
However, lesbians do want just to destroy and defile, and whilst provocative clothing might make you a little more likely to be raped by them, it is not necessarily the case. They just want to destroy all beauty, and purity, so whilst I have not yet married, I am constantly at fear. If you are raped by a lesbian, your chances of getting into heaven drop down to a 0%, as you have disobeyed Leviticus 18:22 and Leviticus 20:13
I can assure you that I always follow 1 Timothy 2:9, and dress in modest, floor length, high cut (starts at the base of the neck) long sleeved dresses. No low cut dresses for me, thank you.
Atheists! Make the right choice!
or
It should be obvious.
Come stand with us, with Christians, with Jesus, in eternal glory in heaven instead of agony in hell. You won't regret it!
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
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Re: Personal security precautions? -
07-13-2014, 08:30 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Steph Leia
I'm sorry but I'm afraid I have to disagree with you on that. A man raping a woman is almost always the woman's fault, for disobeying 1 Timothy 2:9. The man does not want to destroy or defile, they just get lured in by the seductress, so she can then cry 'rape!' If they marry, they may still get into heaven.
However, lesbians do want just to destroy and defile, and whilst provocative clothing might make you a little more likely to be raped by them, it is not necessarily the case. They just want to destroy all beauty, and purity, so whilst I have not yet married, I am constantly at fear. If you are raped by a lesbian, your chances of getting into heaven drop down to a 0%, as you have disobeyed Leviticus 18:22 and Leviticus 20:13
I can assure you that I always follow 1 Timothy 2:9, and dress in modest, floor length, high cut (starts at the base of the neck) long sleeved dresses. No low cut dresses for me, thank you.
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My dear friend, it's never a good idea for a Forum Member to openly disagree with a True Christian.™ I'm certainly not upset with you, but I don't want to see you get yourself into any kind of trouble.
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
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Re: Personal security precautions? -
07-13-2014, 10:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine
My dear friend, it's never a good idea for a Forum Member to openly disagree with a True Christian.™ I'm certainly not upset with you, but I don't want to see you get yourself into any kind of trouble.
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Of course! I am so very sorry, not only am I a woman, I have not been appointed True Christian status yet. I beg of your forgiveness, and to all others who may have been offended by this!! I will go pray now, to repent of disagreeing with a true Christian.
Atheists! Make the right choice!
or
It should be obvious.
Come stand with us, with Christians, with Jesus, in eternal glory in heaven instead of agony in hell. You won't regret it!
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
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Re: Personal security precautions? -
07-13-2014, 07:29 PM
Oh, you don't owe me an apology dear, I just want what's best for you. Perhaps we should talk more, so I can offer you some pointers and guide you gently in the right direction. Tell me, do you have a Web cam?
WARNING:
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True Christian™
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Re: Personal security precautions? -
07-13-2014, 07:42 PM
Steph dear, before you answer that please read Brother Faith_Machine's signature.
On the other matter, my view on the question of provocative dressing is that your average lesbean cannot afford to be fussy and will assault anything that even vaguely resembles a female. The infamous homer Brazilian transexurals and the homer ladyboys of the ornamental countries are all too aware of this problem and often find themselves sexually attacked by lesbeans.
So I think feminine provocative dress makes very little difference to the probability of lesbean rape. On the contrary, they are perhaps more likely to go for a woman who looks like a man?
In answer to your original question, Brother F_M, you really do get yourself into some scrapes, don't you? It doesn't seem 5 minutes since you were on the run after that little "misunderstanding". I recommend prayer, repentance and supplementary tithing.
2 Timothy 3:16
All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
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Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
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Re: Personal security precautions? -
07-14-2014, 08:10 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Steph Leia
lesbians do want just to destroy and defile, and whilst provocative clothing might make you a little more likely to be raped by them, it is not necessarily the case. They just want to destroy all beauty, and purity, so whilst I have not yet married, I am constantly at fear.
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I know well that terrible feeling of being "undressed with the eyes" by strangers. The Lezzie-Loos can be amongst the worst and most aggressive, too!
When I leave the gated community of Freehold™, I wear this (SEE BELOW)
It keeps away airborne germs like The Aids, and also disguises the figure somewhat. It's also fireproof, in case you have to activate the flame-thrower:
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Re: Personal security precautions? -
07-14-2014, 08:45 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie
I know well that terrible feeling of being "undressed with the eyes" by strangers. The Lezzie-Loos can be amongst the worst and most aggressive, too!
When I leave the gated community of Freehold™, I wear this (SEE BELOW)
It keeps away airborne germs like The Aids, and also disguises the figure somewhat. It's also fireproof, in case you have to activate the flame-thrower:
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That is a very good idea! I will have to look into buying some of those, but luckily, for now, as my father wishes me not to leave the house, I usually just stay inside. However, I sometimes leave my curtains open when I am cleaning, as my father finds I can clean better with natural light as it is easier to see, and being surrounded by lesbians in Australia, who knows what kind of creepy women are looking in at me.
I just realised it seems like I wear innapropriate clothing, but I assure you, I wear modest, Christian clothes. However, if a lesbian sees a young girl like me, how well I follow 1 Timothy 2:9 will not matter to her satanic mind.
Brother F_M as pointed out by sister AW, perhaps it is best if we stick to communications on a thread like this one. I am always welcome to any advice, and, if need be, punishment by a true Christian to help guide me towards Him, so if you ever feel I have done something wrong, please let me know like you did this time, so that I may repent and get my father to punish me so I learn my lesson well.
Atheists! Make the right choice!
or
It should be obvious.
Come stand with us, with Christians, with Jesus, in eternal glory in heaven instead of agony in hell. You won't regret it!
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Moderator Arms Dealer for CHRIST Hands folded for Jesus
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Location: On the Straight and Narrow (Earthly location: Freehold, Iowa)
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Re: Personal security precautions? -
07-16-2014, 12:45 AM
I really don't know what advice I would give a woman for self-defense. The female attention span is too short to safely handle a weapon, and the female body is too weak to effectively perform self-defense tactics that would work against the brute strength of the lesbian bull.
I will do what every Christian does when confronting real-world issues: I will pray fervently for you and trust GOD will do what is best.
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