False Religions and Cults Catholics, Wiccans, Lutherans, Satanists, Mormons, and more! |
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
|
|
Posts: 5
Join Date: Jul 2010
|
|
Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER! -
07-09-2010, 04:58 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins
But it doesn't say that in the scripture. It says "the thing which he did displeased God".
|
So how do you know he's referring to masturbating?
If God hates rational thinking, that explains the large number of idiots on this forum.
|
|
Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
|
|
Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER! -
07-09-2010, 05:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnJohnJohn
So how do you know he's referring to masturbating?
|
Genesis 38:9-10 (King James Version)
9And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother. 10And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also.
derpty der der do you understand now?
Quote:
If God hates rational thinking, that explains the large number of idiots on this forum.
|
So you are agreeing with us, then?
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 4
Join Date: Jul 2010
|
|
Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER! -
07-18-2010, 06:02 PM
I knew gymnastics and sports had to be evil
i mean i already hate soccer even before this
why?:
1They win millions just by kicking a ball while those money could have gone to schools for proper education or help third world countries
2They always rape
3How come satanic things be famous anyway?
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 20
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: the deep sovth
|
|
Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER! -
07-19-2010, 04:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man
10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER!
There is a reason why God's favorite nation America could care less about soccer while Hell bound nations like Australia, Iceland, Holland, New Zealand, Ireland, and Denmark are all playing soccer (some even dare to call it football) all the time. While Americans play God's chosen sports like Baseball, American Football and Basketball the rest of the world is pleasing Satan with soccer. Everyone either involved or interested in soccer will burn in Hell for all eternity.
1st Corinthians 10:31 "Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God."
#1 Soccer is all about lying and cheating!
The most common way to win a soccer match is to trick the referee into giving you a penalty by feigning an injury, to make it appear as if a foul has been committed. Soccer players are specialized in dropping down and pretending to be hurt. They study children of 3 years or younger to learn how to perfect this technique. If the match is very important, like a world championship, they usually just bribe the referee to win. Proverbs 6:16-19 "... the LORD hate ... a lying tongue ... A false witness that speaketh lies ..."
#2 Soccer players want to be treated like prophets!
Too weak or slow to play football? Play soccer. Too short or slow to play basketball? Play soccer. Even though soccer doesn't require any athletic talent or advanced motor skills, soccer players somehow convinced themselves to be very special. Huge crowds of drunk soccer fans worship these arrogant brats as if they are Jesus Christ Himself. Matthew 24:24 "... false prophets ... deceive the very elect."
#3 Soccer is mostly about sex and drugs!
In 1974 the Dutch lost the World Championship soccer because their players had so much sex and drugs before the world cup final with Germany that they forgot to show up. Someone even wrote a book about it! Ephesians 5:18 "... be not drunk ..."
#4 Soccer players are extremely lazy!
If you have a very strong stomach and you can watch soccer for a few minutes without puking your guts out, just pay attention to a single player. It doesn't matter which one. Most of the time this player will either be standing still, or slowly walking from one place to another. If you look even closer you will notice all players only cover a small part of the playing field to minimize the chance of getting tired to an absolute minimum. Proverbs 12:24 "... the lazy man ..."
#5 Soccer prevents people from going to Church!
Most soccer training and soccer matches are on Sundays! Satan deliberately designed soccer this way to doom as much people as possible to Hell by preventing them from going to Church! Acts 20:17 "... the elders of the church."
#6 Soccer makes people gay!
Soccer is all about grown man hugging and touching each other in ways only gays would approve off. The favorite part of a soccer match is when the actual match is over and all players can get naked together in a huge shower. There is not a single soccer player in the world who is not gay. It's reasons like this that make ultra-gays like Sir Elton John a soccer fan! Romans 1:26-27 "... burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly ..."
#7 God has sent us many signs He hates Soccer!
God has warned humanity many times by sending crystal clear signs that He hates soccer! Clear signs like the Heyse Stadium disaster, the Hillsborough disaster, the Orkney Stadium Disaster, the Ellis Park Stadium Disaster and the Accra Sports Stadium Disaster leave 0% room for doubt that God hates soccer with a vengeance! Luke 18:27 "... The things which are impossible with men are possible with God."
#8 Soccer supporters are extremely violent!
If a bunch of soccer hooligans would have attacked Afghanistan, we would have won already! Soccer violence is without limits and is the most extreme form of violence known to man. Soccer hooligans are all totally insane psychopaths who completely lose every shred of humanity. Psalm 73:6 "... violence covereth them as a garment ..."
#9 Soccer and fascism are actually the same thing!
No one in their right mind can deny the connection between soccer and fascism. It is very common for soccer fans to wear Nazi symbols and to shout Nazi insults during soccer matches. In German concentration camps zyklon was used to kill as many Jews as possible. For this reason Umbro named their extremely popular soccer shoe Zyklon!
The English (!) soccer team in 1938:
#10 France is successful at soccer!
And to prove for once and for all that God really really hates soccer, just note that France is successful at soccer! Psalm 9:17 "... all the nations that forget God."
All people wasting time on soccer need to repent and accept Jesus Christ as their savior! Until then, they will suffer and they will burn in Hell along with people wasting time on Tennis, Golf, Cricket, Gymnastics, Swimming, Ice Skating, Lacrosse, Curling, Rugby, Softball, Cycling, Hiking, Horse Racing, Skiing, Snowboarding, Triathlon, Wrestling, etc.
|
1. evaary person that has evaar played a game in their lives has cheated
2. they don't ask to be treated like that, also yov basically jvst stated that jesvs was ONLY a prophet and not the son of god... "BONG!"
3. yeah, they were having sex and getting drvnk, it is fvn and so what, jvst shows that that orgy had girls and sex between dvdes and chicks is really, REALLY NOT GAY
4. they are not lazy, they are given positions of the field to play and they stick to it, and yeah they wanna save energy so why rvn alot ovt of the way of their protected and respective areas of the field
5. don't y'all have chvrch on satvrday night evaar? and if the people that play soccer love god sssoooo mvch, they wovld skip practice and go to chvrch, it is their choice whether it is a right or wrong one
6. soccer does not make yov gay, and people collide all the time, next time yov bvmp into someone yov are gay if that is what collisions in soccer mean, and what happens in football? Oh that is right a bvnch of hvge dvdes tackle eachother to the grovnd and get into "orgy" style piles and when it's all over, where do they go? THE SHOWERS WHERE THEY ARE ALL NAKED TOGETHER!!! and how do yov know what sports jesvs/god like?!?! are yov them? when does it say in the bible that they love football baseball and basketball "and the lord did say, go rams" wtf!!!?!?!
7. god sending signs he hates soccer? so when tragedies happen, it is god to blame cavse god doesn't like something? then god mvst hate america... 9/11... big tragedy
8. and yov know who else is violent? EVAARYONE ELSE THAT WANTS TO STAND VP FOR WHAT THEY LOVE!!! i bet yov have had half a mind to kick someone's behind cavse they were talking smack abovt yovr god, heck, i bet yov wanna beat me vp right now haven't there been violent christians?
9. so jvst becavse one team consists of some sort of possible nazi propaganda means all of soccer is nazis? well if yov are saying that then all rednecks sleep with their sisters and covsins and svch, evaary black man is pvre trash, all blondes are dvmb. that is absvrd sir, jvst absvrd! also i have scene some nazi ideals on display on these forvms by yovr very own Pastor Zeke.
10. what the hell did france evaar do to yov, or anyone for that matter? for the longest time, france was god's covntry wasn't joan of arc french or something?
also fv'tball is the soccer thing, not football, it is pronovnced differently as well
|
|
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
|
|
Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER! -
07-19-2010, 04:59 PM
Rex, you and your friend Mike need more help than I can possibly offer, so I've placed you on my ignore posts list. I hope you're not offended, and I hope you manage to find professional help somewhere.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 20
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: the deep sovth
|
|
Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER! -
07-19-2010, 05:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
Rex, you and your friend Mike need more help than I can possibly offer, so I've placed you on my ignore posts list. I hope you're not offended, and I hope you manage to find professional help somewhere.
|
no, i am not offended, i jvst don't get how when someone is right, people tend to ignore them, bvt what evaar, to each his own right?
|
|
Unsaved trash Current Status: Driving the Short Bus
|
|
Posts: 345
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: around the corner
|
|
Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER! -
07-19-2010, 05:08 PM
He can't respond to you because he's blocked your posts.
Things are going to get worse before they get better.
|
|
Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
|
|
Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER! -
07-19-2010, 05:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by mikesfriendrex
I'm a complete idiot; someone please put me out of my misery.
|
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 20
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: the deep sovth
|
|
Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER! -
07-19-2010, 05:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins
|
wow, okay, i nevaar said that! tamper with things mvch?
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 20
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: the deep sovth
|
|
Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER! -
07-19-2010, 05:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man
That is a lie! You cannot hide from God, he knows all and he sees all!
Proverbs 15:3 "The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good."
|
i like how that was all yov had to say to her pwning yov, and she probly meant in a fvtbal/soccer match
|
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
|
|
Posts: 5
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Texas.
|
|
Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER! -
07-20-2010, 05:35 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by mikesfriendrex
1. evaary person that has evaar played a game in their lives has cheated
2. they don't ask to be treated like that, also yov basically jvst stated that jesvs was ONLY a prophet and not the son of god... "BONG!"
3. yeah, they were having sex and getting drvnk, it is fvn and so what, jvst shows that that orgy had girls and sex between dvdes and chicks is really, REALLY NOT GAY
4. they are not lazy, they are given positions of the field to play and they stick to it, and yeah they wanna save energy so why rvn alot ovt of the way of their protected and respective areas of the field
5. don't y'all have chvrch on satvrday night evaar? and if the people that play soccer love god sssoooo mvch, they wovld skip practice and go to chvrch, it is their choice whether it is a right or wrong one
6. soccer does not make yov gay, and people collide all the time, next time yov bvmp into someone yov are gay if that is what collisions in soccer mean, and what happens in football? Oh that is right a bvnch of hvge dvdes tackle eachother to the grovnd and get into "orgy" style piles and when it's all over, where do they go? THE SHOWERS WHERE THEY ARE ALL NAKED TOGETHER!!! and how do yov know what sports jesvs/god like?!?! are yov them? when does it say in the bible that they love football baseball and basketball "and the lord did say, go rams" wtf!!!?!?!
7. god sending signs he hates soccer? so when tragedies happen, it is god to blame cavse god doesn't like something? then god mvst hate america... 9/11... big tragedy
8. and yov know who else is violent? EVAARYONE ELSE THAT WANTS TO STAND VP FOR WHAT THEY LOVE!!! i bet yov have had half a mind to kick someone's behind cavse they were talking smack abovt yovr god, heck, i bet yov wanna beat me vp right now haven't there been violent christians?
9. so jvst becavse one team consists of some sort of possible nazi propaganda means all of soccer is nazis? well if yov are saying that then all rednecks sleep with their sisters and covsins and svch, evaary black man is pvre trash, all blondes are dvmb. that is absvrd sir, jvst absvrd! also i have scene some nazi ideals on display on these forvms by yovr very own Pastor Zeke.
10. what the hell did france evaar do to yov, or anyone for that matter? for the longest time, france was god's covntry wasn't joan of arc french or something?
also fv'tball is the soccer thing, not football, it is pronovnced differently as well
|
AGREED FULLY.
|
|
Winning Souls in his Winnebago
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 3,893
Join Date: May 2010
Location: travelling the heartland in my Winnebago.
|
|
Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER! -
07-20-2010, 05:40 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by lancebass
AGREED FULLY.
|
what an unusual introduction but this is not the place for it. Let me show you the way. Also here are a couple of interesting threads you really should read. Noobs read this. Your rights are listed here. Make an Introduction for yourself. Noobs read this.
Your rights are listed here.
Make an Introduction for yourself. As a suggestion why not tell us what your favorite bible verse is and how you found our Godly forum. _____________
1 Chronicles 16:15
Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 8
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New York City, New York
|
|
Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER! -
07-20-2010, 07:05 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Benedict A. Davis
what an unusual introduction but this is not the place for it. Let me show you the way. Also here are a couple of interesting threads you really should read. Noobs read this. Your rights are listed here. Make an Introduction for yourself. Noobs read this.
Your rights are listed here.
Make an Introduction for yourself. As a suggestion why not tell us what your favorite bible verse is and how you found our Godly forum. _____________
|
i have to agree with lance bass, this rex character who is probably a very handsome person is really quite smart
|
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 1,590
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Koala Kountry
|
|
Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER! -
07-20-2010, 07:23 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by PreacherQuentin
i have to agree with lance bass, this rex character who is probably a very handsome person is really quite smart
|
Oh. I understand now.
You are another one of Rex's boyfriends.
2 Chronicles 7:14
14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land Australia.
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 8
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New York City, New York
|
|
Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER! -
07-20-2010, 07:36 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charli Harley
Oh. I understand now.
You are another one of Rex's boyfriends.
|
dead wrong sir Harley, I just noticed he could use a compliment due to the fact as it is that everyone should get compliments, heck I bet you're a handsome fella yourself.
|
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 1,590
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Koala Kountry
|
|
Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER! -
07-20-2010, 07:52 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by PreacherQuentin
dead wrong sir Harley, I just noticed he could use a compliment due to the fact as it is that everyone should get compliments, heck I bet you're a handsome fella yourself.
|
You need an appointment with an optometrist if you think my avatar is a "handsome fella."
2 Chronicles 7:14
14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land Australia.
|
Fourm Member
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 9,264
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: On my way to Paradise
|
|
Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER! -
07-20-2010, 08:08 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by PreacherQuentin
dead wrong sir Harley, I just noticed he could use a compliment due to the fact as it is that everyone should get compliments, heck I bet you're a handsome fella yourself.
|
How about you and your school chums go find something productive to do with your summer hmm...? I'm sure there are some elderly people in the neighbourhood who could use some strapping young boys like yourselves to help them with some yard work.
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 8
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New York City, New York
|
|
Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER! -
07-20-2010, 04:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charli Harley
You need an appointment with an optometrist if you think my avatar is a "handsome fella."
|
i just thought you liked women on motorcycles, my bad, and to Mrs. Rogers, i did not realize that Charli was a lady, I honestly didn't
|
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 1,590
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Koala Kountry
|
|
Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER! -
07-20-2010, 04:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by PreacherQuentin
i just thought you liked women on motorcycles, my bad, and to Mrs. Rogers, i did not realize that Charli was a lady, I honestly didn't
|
Daddy has taken some new pics of me.
I plan to change my avatar very soon to avoid any confusion.
2 Chronicles 7:14
14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land Australia.
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 8
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New York City, New York
|
|
Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER! -
07-20-2010, 04:57 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charli Harley
Daddy has taken some new pics of me.
I plan to change my avatar very soon to avoid any confusion.
|
Daddy?
and this is good, saves me some infractions haha
|
Tags
|
1 corinthians, acts, ephesians, god hates, i love list threads!!!!, luke, matthew, proverbs, psalms, romans, soccer and why it's so gay, soccer hooligans |
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|