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Unhappy Why haven't my tokens of virginity regenerated yet? - 04-16-2011, 05:51 PM

Friends, I've been having a bit of an awkward problem. As you all know, I've made a few mistakes with my life, but since I accepted Jesus, followed all of the commandments in the Bible and became a True Christian™, I assumed that none of my previous deathstyle choices would matter anymore. For the most part, this HAS been the case, but there's one problem that just hasn't taken care of itself yet.

My tokens of virginity haven't spontaneously regenerated yet! As I'm sure you all know, this may cause some problems for me on my wedding night.

"If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her, And give occasions of speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid: Then shall the father of the damsel, and her mother, take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel's virginity unto the elders of the city in the gate: And the damsel's father shall say unto the elders, I gave my daughter unto this man to wife, and he hateth her; And, lo, he hath given occasions of speech against her, saying, I found not thy daughter a maid; and yet these are the tokens of my daughter's virginity. And they shall spread the cloth before the elders of the city. And the elders of that city shall take that man and chastise him; And they shall amerce him in an hundred shekels of silver, and give them unto the father of the damsel, because he hath brought up an evil name upon a virgin of Israel: and she shall be his wife; he may not put her away all his days. But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel: Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you." Deuteronomy 22:13-21

I just don't understand it! I know that God will restore to us the years that the locust hath eaten, so I just don't get why it hasn't happened to me yet.

"And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpiller, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you. And ye shall eat in plenty, and be satisfied, and praise the name of the LORD your God, that hath dealt wondrously with you: and my people shall never be ashamed."
Joel 2:25-26

I pray every day that my h*men will be re-made, and I check to see if it's grown back regularly (once in the morning, once in the evening and sometimes once or twice throughout the day), so I just don't see that the problem is. Could I be phrasing my prayers wrong? Maybe an hour of prayer a day isn't enough? Maybe God's trying to tell me He wants me to consider the surgical option?

Please help me figure this out, friends! I want to be a woman who can one day proudly say "I have a blood-stained cloth on file in Landover's archives!".

Wishing to be bathed more in the blood of Christ so I can bleed for Him,

Lycia


"Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you. For John came unto you in the way of righteousness, and ye believed him not: but the publicans and the harlots believed him: and ye, when ye had seen it, repented not afterward, that ye might believe him." Matthew 21:31-32

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Default Re: Why haven't my tokens of virginity regenerated yet? - 04-16-2011, 05:56 PM

i'm sorry to hear about your cooter, Lycia. Unfortunately, i know little of these matters as i have never sinned.

(Billy Bob: I approve this post.)


1 Corinthians 11:3
But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

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Default Re: Why haven't my tokens of virginity regenerated yet? - 04-16-2011, 06:03 PM

Sister, eyes like these show that you have truly Found Jesus. Surely He shall lead you to the answer soon
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Default Re: Why haven't my tokens of virginity regenerated yet? - 04-16-2011, 06:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lycia The Repentant View Post
I pray every day that my h*men will be re-made, and I check to see if it's grown back regularly (once in the morning, once in the evening and sometimes once or twice throughout the day), so I just don't see that the problem is.
Maybe it hasn't healed because you keep poking at it.


"But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;" 1 Corinthians 1:27
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Default Re: Why haven't my tokens of virginity regenerated yet? - 04-16-2011, 07:39 PM

I think you need to pray harder!


I Jesus!
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Default Re: Why haven't my tokens of virginity regenerated yet? - 04-16-2011, 08:56 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lycia The Repentant View Post
My tokens of virginity haven't spontaneously regenerated yet! As I'm sure you all know, this may cause some problems for me on my wedding night.

"If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her, And give occasions of speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid:
Sister Lycia, as long as your prospective husband (whoever he is, since it's obviously not ME ) is aware that you are not a virgin, then you just need him to sign a waiver before the wedding acknowledging such.

Besides, I can't imagine a man going in unto you and hating you.


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Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Default Re: Why haven't my tokens of virginity regenerated yet? - 04-16-2011, 11:01 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
Sister Lycia, as long as your prospective husband (whoever he is, since it's obviously not ME ) is aware that you are not a virgin, then you just need him to sign a waiver before the wedding acknowledging such.

Besides, I can't imagine a man going in unto you and hating you.
Oh! Um, thanks for the compliment, Rev. Rodimer! I'd really prefer that my h*men spontaneously regenerates, though. I mean, wouldn't a bloody cloth carry more weight than a signed waiver?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ravel Puzzlewell View Post
Maybe it hasn't healed because you keep poking at it.
What exactly do you mean by THAT, Godmocking hippie atheist?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Felicity View Post
I think you need to pray harder!
Thank you for the advice, Sister? I'll up my praying for this to two hours a day.


"Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you. For John came unto you in the way of righteousness, and ye believed him not: but the publicans and the harlots believed him: and ye, when ye had seen it, repented not afterward, that ye might believe him." Matthew 21:31-32

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Default Re: Why haven't my tokens of virginity regenerated yet? - 04-16-2011, 11:11 PM

I have personally witnessed an amputated finger regenerate through the power of prayer. So such things are definitely possible. I think that more prayer is the answer. Have you been tithing adequately lately?


II Thessalonians 1:7-9
And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power



The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony
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Default Re: Why haven't my tokens of virginity regenerated yet? - 04-17-2011, 04:54 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
Sister Lycia, as long as your prospective husband (whoever he is, since it's obviously not ME ) is aware that you are not a virgin, then you just need him to sign a waiver before the wedding acknowledging such.

Besides, I can't imagine a man going in unto you and hating you.
I tend to agree with this, unfortunately I believe that although you are a BAG (Born Again Virgin) God isn't going to regenerate it because you're still not as sweet as fresh picked. I think he want's to keep you honest to any prospective husband.

Also, I believe that scripture only comes into effect if the wife was promised to be a virgin in the first place. I know I was nervous on my wedding night because of some indiscretion as a teenager (horse back riding, motorcycling) so I wasn't 100% sure I was "intact".


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Default Re: Why haven't my tokens of virginity regenerated yet? - 04-17-2011, 09:45 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BelieverInGod View Post
I tend to agree with this, unfortunately I believe that although you are a BAG (Born Again Virgin) God isn't going to regenerate it because you're still not as sweet as fresh picked. I think he want's to keep you honest to any prospective husband.
GOD is love! He would not do something so horrible to someone who has made a special effort to redeem themselves! She could be killed for not being a virgin! I believe, like many others, that the answer is simply more prayer, bible study, and tithing to our fine church! Believe in the LORD and do not doubt him!
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Default Re: Why haven't my tokens of virginity regenerated yet? - 04-17-2011, 10:46 AM

I would also say pray. Pray and continue to be a True Christian and praise Jesus!

Mark 9:23
Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.

(I am only guessing that the same thing applies to woman, please forgive me if I am wrong!)

Yours in Christ
Elisabeth


Proverbs 14:1

Every wise woman buildeth her house:
but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.
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Default Re: Why haven't my tokens of virginity regenerated yet? - 04-17-2011, 04:32 PM

One of the Dingle sisters, either Dolly or Dotty, was having the same problem and asked for my advice.

Now, I'm not saying the lady in question was beyond hope, but I'm constantly reminded of the adage: It's not the years on the road, it's the mileage.

It's sort of like if the horse is ridden hard and put away wet often enough, that's not much hope for it.

Anyway, I consulted one of our Pastors on the problem. He had just returned from the Far East and brought a case of these back:




Before you jump to conclusions about his intentions, I should point out he told me he uses these to protect the mufflers on his Harley from rain so they must work pretty well.


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Default Re: Why haven't my tokens of virginity regenerated yet? - 04-17-2011, 05:48 PM

I know a Godly doctor who has a special praying table. You go to a hospital, they lay you on the special prayer table, you go to sleep while making mental supplications to Jesus to restore your hymen and when you awaken your hymen will be restored. It's called hymenoplasty and it only works on the Saved®.

Just give me a call if you are interested.
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Exclamation Re: Why haven't my tokens of virginity regenerated yet? - 04-17-2011, 05:50 PM

Lycia, I am a bit upset that you keep checking. Sounds to me like you have two bad things happening here.
  1. You do not believe God will restore you - A total lack of faith - Shame on you!
  2. You keep touching and worse, looking at the obscenity of a 'womans nether parts'. Sounds to me like someone is masturbating.
You need to know God will make you whole if you are worthy. Faith will cure you. You do not need to touch it or look to know God is taking care of your business. Get married and in complete confidence, know you will be a virgin on your wedding night.
I have been married three times and each time, God had me be a virgin for my wife.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Smile Re: Why haven't my tokens of virginity regenerated yet? - 04-17-2011, 05:52 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Remy Lebeau View Post
I know a Godly doctor who has a special praying table. You go to a hospital, they lay you on the special prayer table, you go to sleep while making mental supplications to Jesus to restore your hymen and when you awaken your hymen will be restored. It's called hymenoplasty and it only works on the Saved®.

Just give me a call if you are interested.
Brother Lebeau, this is very interesting, I'd love to see the miracle of God being performed. I think the opportunity to lay hands during the miracle would be a blessing. Please PM me the details. Are cameras allowed?


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Lycia The Repentant Lycia The Repentant is offline
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Default Re: Why haven't my tokens of virginity regenerated yet? - 04-17-2011, 06:45 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Remy Lebeau View Post
I know a Godly doctor who has a special praying table. You go to a hospital, they lay you on the special prayer table, you go to sleep while making mental supplications to Jesus to restore your hymen and when you awaken your hymen will be restored. It's called hymenoplasty and it only works on the Saved®.

Just give me a call if you are interested.
I KNEW IT!!! This, right here, is ABSOLUTE PROOF that prayer works!

Just take a look at THAT, Godmockers! I prayed for an answer, and I GOT IT! Now I now the answer is more prayer, and a Godly doctor praying over me!

I want to do this right away!

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
Lycia, I am a bit upset that you keep checking. Sounds to me like you have two bad things happening here.
  1. You do not believe God will restore you - A total lack of faith - Shame on you!
  2. You keep touching and worse, looking at the obscenity of a 'womans nether parts'. Sounds to me like someone is masturbating.
You need to know God will make you whole if you are worthy. Faith will cure you. You do not need to touch it or look to know God is taking care of your business. Get married and in complete confidence, know you will be a virgin on your wedding night.
I have been married three times and each time, God had me be a virgin for my wife.
OH MY GOODNESS!

Brother James, of course you're correct here. I didn't realize it, but my faith must have been faltering and I was on the fast-track to relapsing into slut-dom because of it. Thankfully, Jesus answered my prayers and sent Brother Remy to inform me of what I need to do to make sure I remain a good, True Christian™ woman.

I can't wait to get that holy Prayer Procedure™! I want the ENTIRE WORLD to see that I'll be a whole woman again!


"Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you. For John came unto you in the way of righteousness, and ye believed him not: but the publicans and the harlots believed him: and ye, when ye had seen it, repented not afterward, that ye might believe him." Matthew 21:31-32

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Default Re: Why haven't my tokens of virginity regenerated yet? - 04-17-2011, 08:52 PM

Well, since you don't want this, I'll just use it on my moped.



The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court

"Credo elvem etiam vivere"
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Angry Re: Why haven't my tokens of virginity regenerated yet? - 04-17-2011, 10:13 PM

Sister, if you want your virginity to be restored, you must be a holy woman and live in silence, the way He commanded.


(1 Timothy 2:12) (King James Version): But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.

Amen,
Tea Party Minister
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Default Re: Why haven't my tokens of virginity regenerated yet? - 04-17-2011, 10:38 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tea_Party_Minister View Post
Sister, if you want your virginity to be restored, you must be a holy woman and live in silence, the way He commanded.
Is that the only part of the Bible that you've read? You've openly admitted to getting your "internet degree" from the same place pasta boy got his from!

Go back to your heathen ways and leave the True Christian™ women alone, they ARE NOT for the likes of you!


PROOF: Atheists are too stupid to understand the Bible!

Proverbs 13:24(KJV): "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes."

Galatians 4:16 Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?
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Lycia The Repentant Lycia The Repentant is offline
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Default Re: Why haven't my tokens of virginity regenerated yet? - 04-17-2011, 11:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tea_Party_Minister View Post
Sister, if you want your virginity to be restored, you must be a holy woman and live in silence, the way He commanded.
Um, thanks.

You are aware that us True Christian™ ladies have proven ourselves to be less empty-headed than the average woman, and have permission to speak on these boards (save for the Men's forum), aren't you?


"Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you. For John came unto you in the way of righteousness, and ye believed him not: but the publicans and the harlots believed him: and ye, when ye had seen it, repented not afterward, that ye might believe him." Matthew 21:31-32

An Important Reminder for all unSaved© Ladies
Protect Yourself! Important Information about Demons
My five Six Step Guide to Stopping Your Miserable Harlotry!
Do you hate fornication? Join the Junior Anti-Sex League and help stop it today!
An Open Question to All false christians.

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