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Default Re: Whore Bristol Palin-Johnston encourages sex sex sex! - 02-20-2009, 02:43 AM

why do you call her Bristol Palin-Johnston when she's not married to that meth addict and she never will be?

She's an unwed mother and her child is a bastard. Seems like a normal republican family...


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Default Re: Whore Bristol Palin-Johnston encourages sex sex sex! - 02-20-2009, 03:35 AM

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Originally Posted by Buford T Scoggins View Post
Fortunately, there is still hope for Bristol...
I think the problem with that company is that girls don't WANT to feel like virgins.


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Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: Whore Bristol Palin-Johnston encourages sex sex sex! - 02-20-2009, 03:55 AM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
I think the problem with that company is that girls don't WANT to feel like virgins.
That's not true, I wish I were still a virgin. Ever since I was 16 I've given thought to hymen reconstructive surgery.


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Default Re: Whore Bristol Palin-Johnston encourages sex sex sex! - 02-20-2009, 03:57 AM

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Originally Posted by WickedWitch View Post
That's not true, I wish I were still a virgin. Ever since I was 16 I've given thought to hymen reconstructive surgery.
Through Christ, all things are possible. Give your life over to Jesus, stop practicing witchcraft, and who knows?

Still waiting on that Tithe by the way.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: Whore Bristol Palin-Johnston encourages sex sex sex! - 02-20-2009, 03:58 AM

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Originally Posted by WickedWitch View Post
That's not true, I wish I were still a virgin. Ever since I was 16 I've given thought to hymen reconstructive surgery.
Hymen reconstruction surgery is not going to turn you back into a virgin.


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Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: Whore Bristol Palin encourages sex sex sex! - 02-20-2009, 05:21 AM

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Originally Posted by Buford T Scoggins View Post
I'm as shocked as the rest of you that Bristol Palin - daughter of America's greatest governor - would go on Godly Fox News and imply that virginity until marriage is not realistic. Especially since Bristol is white (if she were a darkie, I could understand - they start having sex at age 6 months).

Fortunately, there is still hope for Bristol...
Brother Buford, I think her virginal wall was crushed like the one in Berlin, as soon as a baby came crawling out of her mommy cave.


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Default Re: Whore Bristol Palin-Johnston encourages sex sex sex! - 02-20-2009, 06:47 AM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Hymen reconstruction surgery is not going to turn you back into a virgin.
Amen, Brother! No amount of plaster and catgut can repair her damaged, whorish soul.
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Default Re: Whore Bristol Palin-Johnston encourages sex sex sex! - 02-20-2009, 07:31 AM

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Originally Posted by Nurse Clampett View Post
Amen, Brother! No amount of plaster and catgut can repair her damaged, whorish soul.
Maybe a drawstring would help.


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Default Re: Whore Bristol Palin-Johnston encourages sex sex sex! - 02-20-2009, 04:53 PM

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Maybe a drawstring would help.
What do you mean? Lace it up like an old tennis shoe?

Sort of like this only lower..and then TUG ON THE RIBBON UNTIL THE LINKS TOUCH?

I immediately see problems with this idea.
(1) You can't install it by yourself at home and I'll bet you mom isn't going to help.

(2) One second after you move at all, the ribbon is going to twist and no matter what you do it is going to look like worse crap than it already does. There is a spine running vertically through the center of that web which REQUIRES the skin in that area to stretch laterally and vertically.

(3) You have to be dressed like a whore for it to be visible.
(a) If it is visible, it will simply confirm you ARE a whore and any perv who walks up behind you will have the keys to your heart.
(b) If it isn't visible, it still has to be tied which will be VERY uncomfortable. Leaving it untied will prove to be even MORE uncomfortable.

(6) You can't ....exercise...trussed up like a turkey. Try playing vollyball without a trip to the hospital, much less 'Mr. Twister. Even reaching for a glass of water would be problematic.

(7) It isn't attractive. If you MUST have a tramp-stamp, get a cute one and remember that your grandaughter will see it someday. NOT 'Property of Hell's Angels" or 'Bootylicious".
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Default Re: Whore Bristol Palin encourages sex sex sex! - 02-20-2009, 05:28 PM

I'm thinking a stapler might do it.


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Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
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Default Re: Whore Bristol Palin encourages sex sex sex! - 02-21-2009, 06:17 AM

Bristol Palin is incorrect when saying that abstinence is unrealistic. Abstinence can be 100% realistic if the parents keep an eye on their kids. First of all, if you give a kid a condom they are going to go out and have sex. Following this logic if you teach a kid how to have sex they are going to go out and do it. Don't teach your son or daughter how to have sex until their wedding day! If every parent just abstained from teaching their children about sex, none of the children would be having sex except for a few inquisitive children that have seen planes being refueled mid-flight.
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Default Re: Whore Bristol Palin encourages sex sex sex! - 02-25-2009, 10:17 PM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Hymen reconstruction surgery is not going to turn you back into a virgin.
No, but it's as close to virginity as a person can get once it's lost, and it's still something I'd like.


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Default Re: Whore Bristol Palin encourages sex sex sex! - 02-25-2009, 10:35 PM

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No, but it's as close to virginity as a person can get once it's lost, and it's still something I'd like.
No, being Born Again in Christ is as close to virginity as a person can get once it's lost.


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Default Re: Whore Bristol Palin encourages sex sex sex! - 02-25-2009, 10:43 PM

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No, but it's as close to virginity as a person can get once it's lost, and it's still something I'd like.
The only think you need in your mommy cave is little Christian babies WW.



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Buford T Scoggins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBuford T Scoggins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBuford T Scoggins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBuford T Scoggins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBuford T Scoggins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBuford T Scoggins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBuford T Scoggins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBuford T Scoggins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBuford T Scoggins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBuford T Scoggins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBuford T Scoggins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Whore Bristol Palin encourages sex sex sex! - 02-25-2009, 11:43 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wash O'Hanley View Post
...Don't teach your son or daughter how to have sex until their wedding day!
Brother Wash, I don't think it's advisable to teach your children about sex even AFTER their wedding day. As Jesus's mommy proved, it's not necessary to have sex in order to bear children. Sex was invented by Satan, in order to lure people to vote for Democrats.

Yours in Christ,
Buford


yours in Christ,
Brother Buford



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