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Valentine's Day, AKA Treason Season! Where we discuss the evils of this pagan holiday.

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Default Happy Venereal Disease Day! - 02-03-2008, 02:22 AM

How long has God warned you about sex?

Happy Venereal Disease Day!
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Default Re: Happy Venereal Disease Day! - 02-03-2008, 02:42 AM

Sister Glendora, that chancre is undoubtedly OF SATAN.

The Lord gave man a mouth to praise Him with, and to eat mashed taters, and NOT to use for slobbering around those areas of the body.

The way of the wicked is an abomination unto the LORD: but he loveth him that followeth after righteousness. Proverbs 15:9

Jesus says, "Keep your face above the waist!"

~~ OEJ
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Default Re: Happy Venereal Disease Day! - 02-03-2008, 08:22 PM

Dear Sister,

Your point is well taken. Valentine's Day has become all about modern permissive attitudes regarding sex. There is nothing romantic about buggering a young Thai boy's well-lubricated bunghole, nor in having your face smeared with raw tuna. Yet the Sodomites and Gomorrahians are trying hard to make this seemingly innocent holiday serve their own twisted anus-sniffing ends. They've already ruined many fine formerly butch holidays, such as Arbor Day and Rosh Hoshana. Valentines Day is next on the list.

Yours in Him,
BAB
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Default Re: Happy Venereal Disease Day! - 02-03-2008, 08:28 PM

The un$avED are so Damn Arrogant these days, thinking if they make sure to use Condiments JESUS will not Punish them for their SIN

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Default Re: Happy Venereal Disease Day! - 02-04-2008, 09:08 AM

Condiments? Tuna? OMG!! I forgot my tuna and ketchup sandwich!!! Eeek!
Wait what about chocolate? No one can hate chocolate.
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Default Re: Happy Venereal Disease Day! - 02-04-2008, 01:18 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kerby316 View Post
Condiments? Tuna? OMG!! I forgot my tuna and ketchup sandwich!!! Eeek!
Wait what about chocolate? No one can hate chocolate.
(What the HECK?! Has Elvis Resurrected???)
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Default Re: Happy Venereal Disease Day! - 02-05-2008, 03:33 AM

The only solution is mass murder in the name of The Lord.
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Default Re: Happy Venereal Disease Day! - 02-05-2008, 02:57 PM

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Originally Posted by Sire_Rodney View Post
The only solution is mass murder in the name of The Lord.
I don't like what you're implying, for it is never "murder" if God commands it: It's execution.
For God is THE authority, but your post makes it sound like He's some kind of psychopatic criminal.


If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
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Default Re: Happy Venereal Disease Day! - 02-07-2009, 04:16 PM

That disturbing photo now has me worried about Valentine's day. I'm sure my girlfriend will be expecting some kind of love offering, maybe it would be a good day to introduce her to dental dams?


Things are going to get worse before they get better.
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Default Re: Happy Venereal Disease Day! - 02-07-2009, 05:02 PM

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Originally Posted by Palmer C. Eldrich View Post
That disturbing photo now has me worried about Valentine's day. I'm sure my girlfriend will be expecting some kind of love offering, maybe it would be a good day to introduce her to dental dams?
If she needs dental dams then she is a harlot. Sex is only for procreation, and women aren't even supposed to enjoy it.
Brother, take no part in this sinful holiday. Any other day BUT the 14th of this month give a good Christian woman a useful and proper gift. A good frying pan to cook you an omlette with, or a vaccum so you have a clean floor to walk upon would be nice.

1 Timothy 2: 9-10

In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.
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Default Re: Happy Venereal Disease Day! - 02-07-2009, 07:19 PM

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Originally Posted by Nurse Ratched View Post
If she needs dental dams then she is a harlot. Sex is only for procreation, and women aren't even supposed to enjoy it.
Brother, take no part in this sinful holiday. Any other day BUT the 14th of this month give a good Christian woman a useful and proper gift. A good frying pan to cook you an omlette with, or a vaccum so you have a clean floor to walk upon would be nice.

1 Timothy 2: 9-10
In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.


what a load of crap im sure your being sarcastic to the max and nurse ratched is from one flew over the cuckoos nest....what a biatch
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Default Re: Happy Venereal Disease Day! - 02-08-2009, 12:13 AM

You Goth kids are so whiny and pathetic. Quite frankly, even the devil finds you boring and pretentious. In hell I'm sure you'll be eternally sodomized by a lesser demon resembling Jim Varney.
No talking of how you're intelluctually superior in dimly lit coffee houses.
No moody Cure albums to listen to.
No readings of Baudelaire.
Just you and Jim Boy.

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Default Re: Happy Venereal Disease Day! - 02-08-2009, 11:29 PM

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Originally Posted by Pretentia View Post
what a load of crap im sure your being sarcastic to the max and nurse ratched is from one flew over the cuckoos nest....what a biatch
Steady on, the people here are just as entitled to their beliefs as anyone else.

Same as you or I am entitled to believe that it's all a load of baloney dreamt up to keep the proles in their place.
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Default Re: Happy Venereal Disease Day! - 02-08-2009, 11:37 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Just James View Post
Steady on, the people here are just as entitled to their beliefs as anyone else.

Same as you or I am entitled to believe that it's all a load of baloney dreamt up to keep the proles in their place.
Oh great, another self-righteous liberal who imagines a menu of emtitlements that he has a "right" to.

For a complete list of your "rights" on this forum, please see THIS thread. Please don't make any assumptions, Jimmy.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: Happy Venereal Disease Day! - 02-08-2009, 11:58 PM

Didn't say anything about rights on the forum, robopastor. I meant rights in general terms.

I know exactly what rights on the forum are: none whatsoever.

(And I still think you're a robot).
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Default Re: Happy Venereal Disease Day! - 02-09-2009, 12:29 AM

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Originally Posted by Just James View Post
Didn't say anything about rights on the forum, robopastor. I meant rights in general terms.

I know exactly what rights on the forum are: none whatsoever.

(And I still think you're a robot).
And where do these "rights in general terms" eminate from? There are no rights save those God grants. He created you, He can squish you like a bug.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: Happy Venereal Disease Day! - 02-09-2009, 01:00 AM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
He created you, He can squish you like a bug.
He didn't, because He doesn't exist.

My mum and dad created me. They had sex.
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Default Re: Happy Venereal Disease Day! - 02-09-2009, 01:46 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Just James View Post
He didn't, because He doesn't exist.

My mum and dad created me. They had sex.
They are obviously orifice-challenged.


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: Happy Venereal Disease Day! - 02-09-2009, 04:13 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Just James View Post
He didn't, because He doesn't exist.

My mum and dad created me. They had sex.
And who created them, genius?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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