[Bob4God]

ATTENTION: THIS THREAD CONTAINS IMAGES THAT SHOULD MOST CERTAINLY BE OFFENSIVE TO ANY REAL GODLY PARENT! LADY-LIKE WOMEN AND CHILDREN UNDER 21 SHOULD NOT PROCEED! TRUE CHRISTIAN CONTENT RATING: EXTREMELY OFFENSIVE!

Brothers and Sisters in CHRIST, and especially those of you who are parents, I am calling for an immediate boycott of WHEATIES, the so-called "breakfast of champions."

Mrs. Fore went grocery shopping as she does every week, and brought home a box of Wheaties. As she was putting away the groceries, my eyes were immediately drawn to one of the most sickening displays of sexual depravity and eroticism to ever be forced into my True Christian mind!

See for yourself:



HORRORS! I nearly screamed when I saw the enormous protruding bulge struggling to rip free of the constraining pants worn by this perverted "athlete," Bryan Clay. It's VERY clear to see, two bulbous orbs and a short, fat tallywacker atop of them! It's just wrong!

I immediately grabbed Mrs. Fore and slammed her up against the pantry and demanded an explanation as to why she would purchase a box of cereal that promoted such attire for young, muscular men. I slapped her across the face a few times for being a depraved whore and told her NEVER to bring home anything with a man on it ever again.

I then took the box into my study to observe what kind of horrible messages this has been designed to slip into our minds. I have been studying it with a magnifying glass for the last two hours, and all I can conclude is that the images are there to sell Wheaties to homosexuals and dirty she-whores!

Imagine seeing this EVERY morning, as you shovel big piles of whole wheat cereal into your mouth, covered with white milk. I fully expect that a sudden increase in unmarried teen recreational sex will be the result of this horrible campaign of debauchery!

Parents, do NOT purchase any more Wheaties for your children! Their very souls may be at risk if they see the image above! If it is too late, obtain a chastity belt as quickly as possible for your daughters, and tell your sons that a REAL man dresses in crotch-concealing pants and shirts that cover their arms to the elbow!

In GOD's holy name,

Amen!

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Forgive me LORD and Zeke for looking..... however, I think it's a subliminal message for a pussy cat.

I think you are right about the makers trying to entice people into the homer death style Brother Bob.

[Bob4God]

Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde

Forgive me LORD and Zeke for looking..... however, I think it's a subliminal message for a pussy cat.

I think you are right about the makers trying to entice people into the homer death style Brother Bob.

Dear JESUS sister, you may have uncovered their plot! WHEATIES IS PROMOTING BEASTIALITY AND FURRY-ISM!

Or maybe they are promoting sex changes and cross-dressing! I have heard that the female dirty part of the nether region is often referred to as "the pussy" and now you have spotted a cat's face on the crotch of this manly-man wannabe!

Dear LORD I'm going to vomit!

[Mr. Jingles]

Breakfast cereals are of the Devil; they have names like Lucky Charms, Special K & Sugar Frosted Flakes, all of which promote homersexuality. It's no suprise that Wheaties does the same, which is why I destroyed an entire shelf of them at a supermarket once, in Jesus' name. I was court-ordered to pay the store for damages; obviously the judge was a liebral atheist.

[Talitha]

I felt that under the circumstances I should take a closer look at this abomination.
If you can get a close enough view of this obviously foreign man's Tallywacker there is in fact the Devils own CAMELTOE!!

[Bob4God]

Sister Talitha, I certainly hope a stern True Christian man was with you when you enlarged the already turgid groin of this heathen!

If you begin to feel even the slightest craving for the flesh of an unwashed foreigner, contact a pastor IMMEDIATELY!

[Brother Terrence]

Why is Obama on the front of a box of cereal?

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Originally Posted by Brother Terrence

Why is Obama on the front of a box of cereal?

I thought he was a chink?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

I would also direct your attention HERE. Brother Hatchet has long warned us of the dangers of cereal as a forum for sodomite recruitment. His efforts to expose the radical queer agenda in every nook and cranny of our lives are unflagging.

A word to the wise; If you ever run across Brother Hatchet after church, don't bring up the subject of the Pillsbury Doughboy.