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Default Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3! - 05-30-2008, 01:24 AM

Actually, I havn't. And I'm wondering, how much do your members pay, because their aren't very many actual members, so they'd have to pay a large sum in order for the site(or church) to afford all those game systems. And I didn't even include the costs of Wii's.
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Default Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3! - 05-30-2008, 01:30 AM

We tithe according to our incomes 10% or more, but most of us are millionaires because we are HIS Chosen Elect, therefore, we tithe millions.




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Default Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3! - 05-30-2008, 01:32 AM

Than I guess it makes sense, but what about the people who aren't millionaires and decide to join your church?
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Default Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3! - 05-30-2008, 01:46 AM

There are Tin and Parking Lot Tithers. Do your homework, child! Don't expect us to do it all for you!


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Default Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3! - 05-30-2008, 02:34 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex_B View Post
Actually, I havn't. And I'm wondering, how much do your members pay, because their aren't very many actual members, so they'd have to pay a large sum in order for the site(or church) to afford all those game systems. And I didn't even include the costs of Wii's.
Alex, how many members do you think Landover has?


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Default Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3! - 05-30-2008, 04:32 AM

Well, the site says about 4,700 members, and I looked at the page with the tithe stuff on it. Funny how some money is used for personal things, like the pastor's mansion's morgage.
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Default Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3! - 05-30-2008, 04:39 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex_B View Post
Well, the site says about 4,700 members, and I looked at the page with the tithe stuff on it. Funny how some money is used for personal things, like the pastor's mansion's morgage.
Where do you think the pastors are supposed to live? In the shed out back with the wetback gardeners? Don't be ridiculous!


Posted via Prayer

1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

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Default Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3! - 05-30-2008, 04:45 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex_B View Post
Well, the site says about 4,700 members, and I looked at the page with the tithe stuff on it. Funny how some money is used for personal things, like the pastor's mansion's morgage.
You should take a look at THIS page. It explains our beliefs and gives the details of our congregation.

And by the way, we True Christian™ Pastors are paupers. Literally, I don't own a thing. It is only because of the generosity of my congregation that I am able to carry out God's Divine Plan. My (tax free) 110 acre rolling estate is the property of Landover Baptist Church. Thank you Jesus!!

And if you think that being a Pastor is easy, take a look at the extensive requirements for the position.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3! - 05-30-2008, 05:03 AM

Ok, so now I undstand. Except three things. 1:Why is dancing prohibited? 2:Why are beards not allowed? And 3:Why are single men/widowers allowed to have pornography, if according to some posts here, that is for masturbation, which is gay because it is a man touching another man(that was in one of the forums I read)?
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Default Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3! - 05-30-2008, 05:09 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex_B View Post
Ok, so now I undstand. Except three things. 1:Why is dancing prohibited? 2:Why are beards not allowed? And 3:Why are single men/widowers allowed to have pornography, if according to some posts here, that is for masturbation, which is gay because it is a man touching another man(that was in one of the forums I read)?
You know, you ask alot of questions for a boy who's trapped in a burning building.

That's right! Your life is like a house that's on fire, about to collapse all around you. All I've heard out of you is how much you like narcotics and why do we collect tithes. Where's JESUS in your life, boy? When are you going to allow fireman Christ to save you from that burning building that you're standing around asking idiotic questions in?

I'd like you to proceed over to our "introductions" section right now, and make a new thread. Tell us all about yourself. Tell us why you hate Jesus. Tell us all about the sick, depraved perverted sin that you wallow in. Let us help you find solace in His Blood.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3! - 05-30-2008, 05:15 AM

I'll say this last thing before I head over there. I never said I do narcotics, but I know people who do and that's where I got my information. And I also never said I hate Jesus, becase I don't. I don't believe in any religion. I just think everything happens because of my actions and the actions of others.
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Default Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3! - 05-30-2008, 05:30 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex_B View Post
I'll say this last thing before I head over there. I never said I do narcotics, but I know people who do and that's where I got my information. And I also never said I hate Jesus, becase I don't. I don't believe in any religion. I just think everything happens because of my actions and the actions of others.
God says that trusting yourself makes you a fool.

He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool: but whoso walketh wisely, he shall be delivered.
Proverbs 28:26


If you don't accept Jesus, then you are of satan.

1 John 2:22 Who is a liar but he that denieth that Jesus is the Christ? He is antichrist, that denieth the Father and the Son.
23:Whosoever denieth the Son, the same hath not the Father: he that acknowledgeth the Son hath the Father also.


How old are you son? Have you ever actually read God's Holy Word?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3! - 05-30-2008, 05:35 AM

I don't deny him, I just don't accept him. I'm neutral, you could say. I'm 18, as my intro says, and yes, I have read the Bible. In fact, I was at my youth group earlier tonight, reading from James out of my KJV Bible.
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Default Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3! - 08-16-2008, 11:43 PM

I accepted Jesus as my savior can I have my ps3 brothers??


End Globalism!
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Default Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3! - 08-17-2008, 07:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MattyB View Post
I accepted Jesus as my savior can I have my ps3 brothers??
Sure! Right after you post the reciept from Paypal for the Love Offering you sent in.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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LHONCABIDES LHONCABIDES is offline
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Cool Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3! - 09-13-2008, 10:11 AM

God is not mock. Accepting the Lord Jesus Christ is freely and heartily done. The ultimate purpose really for accepting Christ's gift of salvation is for us to escape from hell punishment because of our transgressions and so that our service to God would become acceptable. Propaganda such as having PS3 is tantamount to bribery for one to accept our Saviour! God forbid this kind of insolence and ignorance. May the power of the gospel of Christ shine on this people. Amen.
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Default Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3! - 09-13-2008, 10:18 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by LHONCABIDES View Post
God is not mock. Accepting the Lord Jesus Christ is freely and heartily done. The ultimate purpose really for accepting Christ's gift of salvation is for us to escape from hell punishment because of our transgressions and so that our service to God would become acceptable. Propaganda such as having PS3 is tantamount to bribery for one to accept our Saviour! God forbid this kind of insolence and ignorance. May the power of the gospel of Christ shine on this people. Amen.
So I take it you don't want a PS3?
I suppose then we should bring back all our folks helping out in the poorer nations spreading The Good Word and offering food and water?

Dummy.



Sister Talitha

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HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



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LHONCABIDES LHONCABIDES is offline
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Default Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3! - 09-13-2008, 10:28 AM

i guess that would be a work, after all "the whole duty of man is to fear God and obey His commandments." Ecclesiastes. 12:13
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Default Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3! - 09-16-2008, 04:12 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
reciept

It's receipt, dammit!



By the way, why PS3 and not XBOX 360?

  • Is PS3 God's favourite console? It has to be... I mean, he does have a favourite forum (it's written all over the place here!), so he might as well be into gaming too.

  • If he is indeed into gaming, is this OK with the bible? Seems to me like there's a whole bunch of anti-christian games out there.

  • If it's not OK with the bible, is God contradicting himself?


  • If he is contradicting himself, should he see a psychologist?


  • Is God favouring Sony over Microsoft? If so, there is something seriously wrong here, since in Japan THEY'RE NOT CHRISTIANS!

  • If God IS favouring the Japanese, are they his favourite people?


  • If they are his favourite people, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE?



Thank you


Είναι θεούληδες, μην τους βρίζετε
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Turk Sucker Turk Sucker is offline
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Default Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3! - 09-16-2008, 06:13 PM

And there's a picture of a heavenly creature at Playstation:




Final Fantasy VII FTW

Btw,your offer totally owns the Spanish Inquisition!!!
Not only do you get to buy the eternal salvation of your soul,there's an extra PS3 for you.
You would have crushed all opposition if we were in 1500...


I do want McCain for President...But Obama's a hottie!!!
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