PRAYER REQUESTS Please check regularly |
|
Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance Christ's Rottweiler
|
|
Posts: 22,727
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
|
|
A Prayer of Thanks to Brother Eliot Mayfield -
08-09-2008, 11:15 AM
Can I ask you to place your hands together for a prayer of gratitude for the work of Brother Eliot Mayfield, Missionary to the commies? I ask this as, prior to his arrival in Check-O’Slovenia, God had taken little interest in the country and the nefarious doings of its Godless inhabitants.
Now He has seen fit to give a warning to the Checks that Heavy Metal Music is a step too far towards the worship of other gods and He organized a train crash for Satanists, killing several Iron Maiden acolytes on their way to a gathering and maiming many others.
We thank The Lord for acknowledging Brother Eliot’s work in bringing the situation to His attention and pray that the publicity will serve as a warning and lesson and that True Christianity™ will find its proper place in the hearts of the Check-O’Slovenian people.
(Despite the headline, there is nothing “Freakish” about the crash.)
Quote:
Freak Czech train crash kills seven
|
Quote:
1 day ago
PRAGUE (AFP) — An express train crashed Friday into a Czech road bridge which collapsed during construction seconds before the train's passage, killing seven people and injuring dozens, rescue services said.
The freak nature of the accident was underlined when rail investigators later revealed that the train had been running 10 minutes late as it approached the metal bridge near Studenka in the northwest of the country.
[…]
An interior ministry spokeswoman said the train was carrying 123 people, including a large group of Czech, Polish and Slovakian youths making for a rock concert by British heavy metal band Iron Maiden at a Prague football stadium on Friday night.
|
|
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 518
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Tacoma, Washington
|
|
Re: A Prayer of Thanks to Brother Eliot Mayfield -
08-09-2008, 11:21 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire
(Despite the headline, there is nothing “Freakish” about the crash.)
|
I took it as a redundant adjective, as in "Dirty hippy protesters block aid to American heroes."
|
|
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
|
|
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: A Prayer of Thanks to Brother Eliot Mayfield -
08-09-2008, 11:34 AM
I'd like to announce that we have an opening for a missionary position in communist checkerslovalkian. Send your True Christian resume to me at the email address at the bottom of my signature. No joos need apply.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
|
|
Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
|
|
Re: A Prayer of Thanks to Brother Eliot Mayfield -
08-14-2008, 05:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
I'd like to announce that we have an opening for a missionary position in communist checkerslovalkian. Send your True Christian™ resume to me at the email address at the bottom of my signature. No joos need apply.
|
Is Brother Eliot retiring?
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
|
|
Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
|
|
Re: A Prayer of Thanks to Brother Eliot Mayfield -
08-14-2008, 05:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire
Can I ask you to place your hands together for a prayer of gratitude for the work of Brother Eliot Mayfield, Missionary to the commies? I ask this as, prior to his arrival in Check-O’Slovenia, God had taken little interest in the country and the nefarious doings of its Godless inhabitants.
Now He has seen fit to give a warning to the Checks that Heavy Metal Music is a step too far towards the worship of other gods and He organized a train crash for Satanists, killing several Iron Maiden acolytes on their way to a gathering and maiming many others.
PRAGUE (AFP) — An express train crashed Friday into a Czech road bridge which collapsed during construction seconds before the train's passage, killing seven people and injuring dozens, rescue services said.
The freak nature of the accident was underlined when rail investigators later revealed that the train had been running 10 minutes late as it approached the metal bridge near Studenka in the northwest of the country.
|
Has anyone else noticed the irony of these heavy metal freaks being literally killed by metal? Jesus' sense of humour cracks me up sometimes.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
|
|
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
|
|
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: A Prayer of Thanks to Brother Eliot Mayfield -
08-15-2008, 12:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer
Is Brother Eliot retiring?
|
As far as we know, he was killed along with the satan worshiping scum on that train.
So, interviews will be scheduled next week, folks. Thanks to everyone who submitted their resume.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
|
|
God Squad
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 9,322
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: rebuking eurotrash commies
|
|
Re: A Prayer of Thanks to Brother Eliot Mayfield -
08-15-2008, 04:03 PM
I am no longer in that country. I am travelling around for a bit, but alive.
To be clear the power of Prayer is amazing. God is powerful and he caused the bridge to fall. All I did was pray.
Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Last edited by eliot mayfield; 08-15-2008 at 07:15 PM.
|
|
Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
|
|
Re: A Prayer of Thanks to Brother Eliot Mayfield -
08-15-2008, 09:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by eliot mayfield
I am no longer in that country. I am travelling around for a bit, but alive.
To be clear the power of Prayer is amazing. God is powerful and he caused the bridge to fall. All I did was pray.
|
Congratulations on your not-dead-ness, Brother Eliot!!
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
|
|
True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
|
|
Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
|
|
Re: A Prayer of Thanks to Brother Eliot Mayfield -
08-15-2008, 09:24 PM
Brother Eliot, have you seen any real, live Checkers yet? What do they look like?
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|