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Reload this Page Gingerbread Men (WARNING! OFFENSIVE IMAGES!)
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Rebuke Gingerbread Men (WARNING! OFFENSIVE IMAGES!) - 12-01-2008, 05:53 PM



When visiting my daughter this morning to perform my routine sin inspection, I noticed gingerbread men on the kitchen counter.

"What are these?" I roared.

"The kids and I baked some gingerbread men last night," my daughter replied. "It was fun."

"Do you think it's appropriate," I lovingly screamed, "for young girls to bake male-shaped cookies?"

Then I noticed one of my granddaughters biting into a gingerbread man's groin. Naturally, I dispensed some beatings for this unforgivable outrage.

Ladies, let my wayward whore of a daughter's actions serve as an example to all of you. Avoid these sinful cookies. If you simply must bake gingerbread men, only make them from the waist up--think of them as homeless, Vietnam War veterans*--so that salacious little strumpets like my eleven-year-old granddaughter cannot pretend they are gobbling tallywackers.

*You can even bake little, wheeled carts for them.
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Default Re: Gingerbread Men - 12-01-2008, 06:00 PM

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Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet View Post
So you raised your children and grandchildren as strumpets!


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Default Re: Gingerbread Men - 12-01-2008, 06:22 PM

Thankfully they haven't discovered these yet................

Name:  GingerbreadLady.jpg
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Size:  66.9 KB



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Default Re: Gingerbread Men - 12-01-2008, 07:31 PM

Gingerbread men are evil and only whores and sinners eat them. I think they are really little demons made to look like enticing little treats.

I wouldn't eat one for my life. I do not want to ingest demons!!!
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Default Re: Gingerbread Men - 12-01-2008, 08:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
So you raised your children and grandchildren as strumpets!
Of course not. I have shouted Bible verses at them. I have punched, kicked, burned, and nearly drowned them every chance I get. I have shamed and belittled them at every turn. I've done everything a father should do.
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Default Re: Gingerbread Men - 12-01-2008, 08:37 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet View Post
Of course not. I have shouted Bible verses at them. I have punched, kicked, burned, and nearly drowned them every chance I get. I have shamed and belittled them at every turn. I've done everything a father should do.
You are such a wonderful Father and Husband! I hope all men will take your lead and follow your loving example!

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Default Re: Gingerbread Men - 12-01-2008, 08:53 PM

This is how bad it is:
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Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


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Default Re: Gingerbread Men (WARNING! OFFENSIVE IMAGES!) - 12-01-2008, 08:58 PM

Oh my! I should have heeded the warning you added to the title Brother.





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Default Re: Gingerbread Men (WARNING! OFFENSIVE IMAGES!) - 12-01-2008, 09:20 PM



What's even worse is, the tasty litte sinner is wearing a 'Santa' hat. I Hope you lashed them all until they dropped
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Default Re: Gingerbread Men (WARNING! OFFENSIVE IMAGES!) - 12-01-2008, 09:25 PM

You can't let those fags near anything these days. Look how they've adapted the gbMan:

I wonder how many of those ended up in the trash? How do you make black frosting?


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Default Re: Gingerbread Men (WARNING! OFFENSIVE IMAGES!) - 12-01-2008, 09:30 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
Oh my! I should have heeded the warning you added to the title Brother.

I would like to move this thread away from the eyes of the delicate womenfolk, particularly after Brother Nobar's post, but a thread about gingerbread men in the Men Only forum is pretty gay.
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Default Re: Gingerbread Men (WARNING! OFFENSIVE IMAGES!) - 12-01-2008, 09:39 PM

I talked to Brother William at the five and dime and was able to get him to return several types of greeting cards including this disgusting product:
.
.


Who would buy something perverted like that? This is the reason why cookies shouldn't be made in the shape of a man or a woman in the first place. I had to admonish my good friend for using such poor judgment by displaying this item.


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Default Re: Gingerbread Men (WARNING! OFFENSIVE IMAGES!) - 12-01-2008, 10:17 PM

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Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
This is the reason why cookies shouldn't be made in the shape of a man or a woman in the first place.
The cooter-chomping is disgusting indeed, but I'm more offended by the gingerbread man's ensemble. First of all, you can't get gayer than wearing suspenders with no shirt. Secondly, his trousers are pink. Thirdly, those trousers have ruffles. Pink trousers with ruffles?!! I stand corrected. You can get gayer than wearing suspenders with no shirt. Why he is chomping a cooter is beyond me. Perhaps he has mistaken the other cookie for a transvestite.
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Default Re: Gingerbread Men (WARNING! OFFENSIVE IMAGES!) - 12-01-2008, 10:18 PM

I'm certainly glad that a kindly True Christian™ Handsome and Brilliant Man added
Quote:
(WARNING! OFFENSIVE IMAGES!)
to the title of this Thread.
It reminds me to close my eyes when I have to Moderate in here



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HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41




Last edited by Talitha; 12-01-2008 at 10:28 PM. Reason: Realized who the true Christian™ Handsome and Brilliant man was.
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Default Re: Gingerbread Men (WARNING! OFFENSIVE IMAGES!) - 12-01-2008, 10:22 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Talitha View Post
I'm certainly glad that a kindly True Christian™ Man etc.
You forgot handsome and brilliant.
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Default Re: Gingerbread Men (WARNING! OFFENSIVE IMAGES!) - 12-01-2008, 10:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Talitha View Post
I'm certainly glad that a kindly True Christian™ Man added to the title of this Thread.
It reminds me to close my eyes when I have to Moderate in here
The AxeMan said: "You forgot handsome and brilliant."

If all of this doesn't get Old Iron Crotch in here just a' slavering, God Knows© what will.
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Default Re: Gingerbread Men (WARNING! OFFENSIVE IMAGES!) - 12-01-2008, 10:28 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SUV View Post
The AxeMan said: "You forgot handsome and brilliant."

If all of this doesn't get Old Iron Crotch in here just a' slavering, God Knows© what will.
sorted



Sister Talitha

Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



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Default Re: Gingerbread Men (WARNING! OFFENSIVE IMAGES!) - 12-01-2008, 10:59 PM

Quote:
(WARNING! OFFENSIVE IMAGES!)
Whoops! a warning just in time for me to throw out that batch of, um, offensive dark brown cookie cutter cookies I was baking for my son-in-law and the boys, whip up a quick batch of GODLY uneven and shapeless white sugar cookies instead, shut down my computer and lock myself in my prayer closet with my Bible, before the menfolk get home for dinner (Jesus forgive noddy)


1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...


1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
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Default Re: Gingerbread Men (WARNING! OFFENSIVE IMAGES!) - 12-01-2008, 11:01 PM

Sister Noddy, cookies should be round, like the halo over Jesus' head.


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Default Re: Gingerbread Men (WARNING! OFFENSIVE IMAGES!) - 12-01-2008, 11:48 PM

DO NOT SCROLL DOWN!!!


Unless you want to see just how far those Godless Queeropeans have taken perverted cookie making! It's too shameful! Ladies of Landover, I suggest you just hit your back button and forget this thread even exists!
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