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Default Re: God Sends Corona Virus Plague to Ravage the Heathen Chinamen - 02-11-2020, 11:33 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by phucker67 View Post
As it is, I'm now one of the recent coronavirus victims sadly . A bit of context, I was called away on a mission to spread the Good News to Asian Schools, and as part of the care package cruise offered as gift from the ministry, the boat has become infested, and I couldn't escape!

I'm writing this the ship's Deck M Emergency Diagnostics, Quarantine and Morgue Ward. This virus is horrible. I make these awful wheezing sounds, it feels like glass going up and down my trachea from every breath, and there's this nasty, watery sting in my right eye that's make it all purple and swollen. Naturally, I'm praying for my own recovery, but if you would too, I could use everyone's prayers so that God might let me survive this horrible pestilence, He must have more cause for me yet, right?
Oh, my; how terribly sorry I am to learn of this, dear Mr. Hucker. This is something that nobody should have to endure; well, not unless they are blatant sinners (and we know that this does not pertain to you.) I shall remember you in my prayers, Dear, and we shall see the work wonders for your complete recovery. And, as our beloved Sister Joanna has so kindly pointed out, our -sent President Trump knows that the virus situation will be over, once the nicer weather arrives.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/...ry/4716223002/

But, until then, might you get relief by gargling with some of your wife's lovely raspberry vignette?


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Default Re: God Sends Corona Virus Plague to Ravage the Heathen Chinamen - 02-11-2020, 11:35 PM

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Originally Posted by phucker67 View Post
Just saying Jeb, it will be nice to be served something other than apple sauce soon.

Best get your affairs in order Mr. Hucker and you should include getting right with Jesus right at the top of the list. If you have the virus God sent to ravage the ranks of the wicked, I expect you have some explaining to do. I imagine you will die soon and have an opportunity to make an accounting in person, but it is always a good idea to be orderly about the process.


God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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Default Re: God Sends Corona Virus Plague to Ravage the Heathen Chinamen - 02-12-2020, 05:06 AM

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Originally Posted by Isabella White View Post
Oh, my; how terribly sorry I am to learn of this, dear Mr. Hucker. This is something that nobody should have to endure; well, not unless they are blatant sinners (and we know that this does not pertain to you.) I shall remember you in my prayers, Dear, and we shall see the work wonders for your complete recovery. And, as our beloved Sister Joanna has so kindly pointed out, our -sent President Trump knows that the virus situation will be over, once the nicer weather arrives.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/...ry/4716223002/

But, until then, might you get relief by gargling with some of your wife's lovely raspberry vignette?


Thank you gentle Mrs. White, I appreciate you recognize I am a man of God and not a blatant sinner, though sin finds its way to me by circumstance at times - Most recently, you might notice I seem to have accumulated two shiny red points, as red as a raspberry, for a image I posted earlier that was not by wise judgement - you see, here at the Recovery Ward, they've been pumping me with all sorts of questionable pain relief drips, and it's doing funny things to my head That image, which I won't repeat, seemed to speak to me at the time.

With luck by next week, I will be relocated to the Outbound Patient Station, formerly the ship's laundry room where I will recover from corona in a jiffy .
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Default Re: God Sends Corona Virus Plague to Ravage the Heathen Chinamen - 02-12-2020, 07:29 PM

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Originally Posted by phucker67 View Post

With luck by next week, I will be relocated to the Outbound Patient Station, formerly the ship's laundry room where I will recover from corona in a jiffy .
Apparently you are aboard the Diamond Princess. The Captain has requested dock access in several countries. All have refused your diseased vessel. It may be you will remain on board for the rest of your life.

Now would be a good time to repent for whatever sins you are being punished for. Did you REALLY try to convert those yellow people or did you just go through some motions?

https://www.foxnews.com/health/at-le...death-toll-490


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: God Sends Corona Virus Plague to Ravage the Heathen Chinamen - 02-13-2020, 12:09 PM

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Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
Did you REALLY try to convert those yellow people or did you just go through some motions?


I got detained by a bunch of ugly transvestites, and my attempts to minister to them, I believe, is what brought me this cumbersome virus. Next time, I'll try not actually putting my hands on them.
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Default Re: God Sends Corona Virus Plague to Ravage the Heathen Chinamen - 02-13-2020, 01:14 PM

Why would New York City, a city of debauchery, not have a case of the corona virus, is it a coverup?


Yours in Christ,

Cage
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Default Re: God Sends Corona Virus Plague to Ravage the Heathen Chinamen - 02-13-2020, 06:34 PM

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Originally Posted by caged4christ View Post
Why would New York City, a city of debauchery, not have a case of the corona virus, is it a coverup?
He already gave them 9/11.



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Default Re: God Sends Corona Virus Plague to Ravage the Heathen Chinamen - 02-13-2020, 08:00 PM

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Originally Posted by phucker67 View Post
As it is, I'm now one of the recent coronavirus victims sadly...
I'm writing this the ship's Deck M Emergency Diagnostics, Quarantine and Morgue Ward. This virus is horrible. I make these awful wheezing sounds, it feels like glass going up and down my trachea from every breath... etc.etc.
Mr Hucker, if by some chance you happen to recover from this (which is obviously not guaranteed, what with you being technically UnSaved at this time), does that make you immune to re-infection? If so, you could spend the next couple of years ministering to the afflicted in China, delivering Big Macs and KFC to their doors and so forth. I am sure (up to a point) that Jesus would look kindly on you for this.


Revelation 21:8

But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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Default Re: God Sends Corona Virus Plague to Ravage the Heathen Chinamen - 02-13-2020, 08:27 PM

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Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
delivering Big Macs and KFC
KFC? Kweichow Fried Condor?
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Default Re: God Sends Corona Virus Plague to Ravage the Heathen Chinamen - 02-13-2020, 08:27 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
I see that the plague has now been named Corvid19.
Sounds like a new-wave electronica ensemble. Whoever names the "diseases" certainly has off days! From catchy sounding
  • Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever and
  • Oriental Tsutsugamushi
to the resonant and all 'round excellent sounding
  • Bubonic Plague
    • excellent in the sense that you can tell just from the name you don't want to be smitten with such maladies
..and then they come up with
  • Corvid19
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Default Re: God Sends Corona Virus Plague to Ravage the Heathen Chinamen - 02-13-2020, 08:46 PM

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Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor View Post
  • Oriental Tsutsugamushi
I must say that one sounds impressive. Of course everyone knows that "mushi" is how the Japanese say "hello" on the phone, but I had to look up "tsutsuga". Apparently it means illness. So, an illness you get over the phone. Such an innovative race, the Japs!


Revelation 21:8

But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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Default Re: God Sends Corona Virus Plague to Ravage the Heathen Chinamen - 02-13-2020, 11:34 PM

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Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor View Post
..and then they come up with
  • Corvid19
Sounds like a rewlly sketchy username to me.
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Default Re: God Sends Corona Virus Plague to Ravage the Heathen Chinamen - 02-14-2020, 03:57 AM

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Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
Such an innovative race
Although innovative, sometimes I doubt their culinary skills. They seem to like eating poisonous things. I heard this latest Chinese plague was associated with eating snakes that had been eating bats. Or more probably drinking snake blood.

Leviticus 11:13-19 These are they which ye shall have in abomination among the fowls; they shall not be eaten, they are an abomination: the eagle, and the ossifrage, and the ospray, and the vulture, and the kite after his kind; every raven after his kind; and the owl, and the night hawk, and the cuckow, and the hawk after his kind, and the little owl, and the cormorant, and the great owl, and the swan, and the pelican, and the gier eagle, and the stork, the heron after her kind, and the lapwing, and the bat.

Christians know about abomination because we know God. What would it take for a vulture to appear toothsome perched there on your plate, adorned with vine leaves or hundred-year-old grapes (at least I think they're grapes) or for a loathsome reptile to be chopped alive and the squirting blood served up? Utter abandonment by God may seem to be enough but even more would be required in the case of vermin which are obviously vermin from the smell alone, let alone what they've been feeding on. Renunciation of all nutritive sanity would be needed on top to eat an ossifrage.


Leviticus 11:13-19 And every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth shall be an abomination; it shall not be eaten. Whatsoever goeth upon the belly, and whatsoever goeth upon all four, or whatsoever hath more feet among all creeping things that creep upon the earth, them ye shall not eat; for they are an abomination. Ye shall not make yourselves abominable with any creeping thing that creepeth, neither shall ye make yourselves unclean with them, that ye should be defiled thereby.

For those who've never known Christ the concept of what happens when God's food regulations are rejected is like a book with no words. One point worth noticing is that defilement occurs by eating this stuff. God explained about what not to eat to prevent defilement. It's not something He sends down because He's seen you eat something He said not to. It's something He instructed as a preventative measure. Anyone ignoring the prevention cops the abomination. Drinking bat-fed snake blood would be a good example of that. It's a simple three step process.


..THE 3 STAGES OF
IGNORING GOD
.
1Name:  SNAKE 11.png
Views: 77
Size:  21.4 KB1st abomination

a serpent which
goeth upon the
belly eats a bat
2Name:  snake 22.png
Views: 82
Size:  44.4 KB2nd abomination

slobber out the
blood into your
glass: ghoulish
cocktail delight
3Name:  SNAKE 33.png
Views: 79
Size:  28.8 KB3rd abomination

YOU have now
become - THE
ABOMINATION


God does not want that outcome but what sort of heathen actually drinks live bat-fed serpent's blood, knowing that generally the bat will have also been eaten live? It's beyond the comprehension of any True Christian. Fortunately we are not defiled by what we eat. Jesus explains it like this:
Matthew 15:11 Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man.
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burger Re: God Sends Corona Virus Plague to Ravage the Heathen Chinamen - 02-14-2020, 04:52 AM

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Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
Mr Hucker, if by some chance you happen to recover from this (which is obviously not guaranteed, what with you being technically UnSaved at this time), does that make you immune to re-infection? If so, you could spend the next couple of years ministering to the afflicted in China, delivering Big Macs and KFC to their doors and so forth. I am sure (up to a point) that Jesus would look kindly on you for this.

An enterprising idea, except I don't speak chink. Maybe this was my trouble for coming here. I hope with prolonged exposure, Jesus will grant me super immunity, impervious to all foreign maladies.
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Default Re: God Sends Corona Virus Plague to Ravage the Heathen Chinamen - 02-14-2020, 11:34 AM

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Originally Posted by phucker67 View Post
An enterprising idea, except I don't speak chink. Maybe this was my trouble for coming here. I hope with prolonged exposure, Jesus will grant me super immunity, impervious to all foreign maladies.
That would be glorious. Just think of the deadly missions to heathen countries you could go on. How exciting. I’ll add that to my prayers for you.

How are you feeling, are the chinks bringing you any comfort? I know it’s difficult for them to be civilized.


Yours in Christ,

Cage
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Default Re: God Sends Corona Virus Plague to Ravage the Heathen Chinamen - 02-15-2020, 01:43 AM

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Originally Posted by caged4christ View Post

How are you feeling, are the chinks bringing you any comfort? I know it’s difficult for them to be civilized.


I don't want to upset the more delicate members here, but for the past 16 hours, I've been bleeding from my [loins] I don't know if this is an effect of corona, or something else.

Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 02-15-2020 at 07:54 PM. Reason: If you don't want to upset the more delicate members here, then why did you say something that can only upset them?
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Default Re: God Sends Corona Virus Plague to Ravage the Heathen Chinamen - 02-15-2020, 02:01 AM

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Originally Posted by phucker67 View Post
I don't want to upset the more delicate members here, but for the past 16 hours, I've been bleeding from my rectal orifice. I don't know if this is an effect of corona, or something else.
It may be from something you ate. Chink food is unpredictable. It could be worse, you could be bleeding from all orifices. Maybe your body is purging the Corona w/Lime virus.

Be careful if the chinks offer you a blood transfusion. Insist it only be from a True Christian. Otherwise you may get filled with more unsaved demonic fluids. You don’t need that.

Try to stay comfortable and don’t stop praying.


Yours in Christ,

Cage
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Default Re: God Sends Corona Virus Plague to Ravage the Heathen Chinamen - 02-15-2020, 03:33 PM

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Originally Posted by phucker67 View Post
I don't want to upset the more delicate members here, but for the past 16 hours, I've been bleeding from my rectal orifice. I don't know if this is an effect of corona, or something else.
This is often a symptom of homosexual activity. If there is any confession of sin you would like to make to all of us here, feel free.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: God Sends Corona Virus Plague to Ravage the Heathen Chinamen - 02-15-2020, 04:08 PM

Dear Heaven, help us all! Mr. Hucker, truly, I am so sorry to hear of your embarrassing, awkward health situation. One wonders if your unwell condition pertaining to that dreaded virus has somehow or another created an entry point for a demon to infiltrate its way inside you and make its home there. Goodness, I do hope that you shan't be afflicted in a manner that requires "personal" quarantine, similar to that as Mr. Caged's self-imposed restrictions. Rest assured that your name shall be raised in prayer at next week's McGill Street Ladies' Wednesday Afternoon Bible Study, Prayer Meeting & Tea Social (which shall be held at the lovely home of Sister Clarabelle-Louise -- she makes such delightful macarons, Dear.)

Until then, do keep the faith, Mr. Hucker and, in all things, please remember: to belongs .

Jeremiah 17:4 "Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved: for thou art my praise."


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Default Re: God Sends Corona Virus Plague to Ravage the Heathen Chinamen - 02-16-2020, 02:32 AM

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Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
This is often a symptom of homosexual activity. If there is any confession of sin you would like to make to all of us here, feel free.


I was hoping to omit this sullied chapter of my life from you all, but Jesus is telling me to open up and let it spill. I had an unfortunate alteration with lesbean bikers in Albuquerque that might had involved a broom handle and Frank's Red Hot sauce during my formative years going out to spread to Truth about. I hope Jesus will wash away the pain and shame this moment brought me as evidently, it stains me still, even with Corona in full effect.
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