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Default What to do if Jesus multiplies your fishes? - 03-03-2020, 08:12 PM

Hi everyone! I need a little help here.

I have a little fish bowl with 10 gallons of water, where I used to have 3 fishes (golden)


A miracle has happened, and Jesus has decided to multiply my fishes! I have 10 now! Even though they are small, I think they will grow and now I will need a bigger bowl.


Did this ever happened to you? It is the first time in my life where a miracle is going on in my own house. What do I do? Of course, I have prayed more than ever, without ceasing. But should I do something special? Should I call the media?


I think this is definite proof of the existence of Jesus and God. This little piece of information can change our lives, and I am so excited that I need your help to put up a plan to take this to the whole world. Or at least to America, the part of the world that counts!


1 Thessalonians 4:16 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the TRUMP of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first.
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Default Re: What to do if Jesus multiplies your fishes? - 03-05-2020, 10:09 PM

Theodynamics stipulates That the larger the volume of water, the greater probability for intelligent multiplication. Think of old ships in this way, lifeboats were attributed to old steamers based on gross tonnage, and not by passenger capacity. The bigger the ship, the more lifeboats multiplied. The rest of the deck space is equivalent to the respective cubic squares of water in the fish bowl displaced. The frequency of fishes will not overshoot this displacement.
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Default Re: What to do if Jesus multiplies your fishes? - 03-05-2020, 10:24 PM

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Originally Posted by upchucker67 View Post
Theodynamics stipulates That the larger the volume of water, the greater probability for intelligent multiplication. Think of old ships in this way, lifeboats were attributed to old steamers based on gross tonnage, and not by passenger capacity. The bigger the ship, the more lifeboats multiplied. The rest of the deck space is equivalent to the respective cubic squares of water in the fish bowl displaced. The frequency of fishes will not overshoot this displacement.
Not one word of that "explanation" mentions Jesus' role in the matter concerning Brother Gonzalez.


Is this "theodynamics" stuff supposed to help us understand God?


We here at Landover Baptist Church believe in the Holy Trinity, whereas "dynamics" references to the number two. . . I think.


I do know that "theo" refers to "God".


His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

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Default Re: What to do if Jesus multiplies your fishes? - 03-05-2020, 10:28 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Gonzalez View Post
Hi everyone! I need a little help here.

I have a little fish bowl with 10 gallons of water, where I used to have 3 fishes (golden)


A miracle has happened, and Jesus has decided to multiply my fishes! I have 10 now! Even though they are small, I think they will grow and now I will need a bigger bowl.


Did this ever happened to you? It is the first time in my life where a miracle is going on in my own house. What do I do? Of course, I have prayed more than ever, without ceasing. But should I do something special? Should I call the media?


I think this is definite proof of the existence of Jesus and God. This little piece of information can change our lives, and I am so excited that I need your help to put up a plan to take this to the whole world. Or at least to America, the part of the world that counts!

God has provided you with bait fish and I believe He expects you to use them to catch larger fish, that you might eat them.


God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11

Last edited by Alvin Moss; 03-06-2020 at 02:46 AM.
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Default Re: What to do if Jesus multiplies your fishes? - 03-05-2020, 10:36 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by handmaiden View Post
Not one word of that "explanation" mentions Jesus' role in the matter concerning Brother Gonzalez.
Absolutely, Sister!
Quote:
We here at Landover Baptist Church believe in the Holy Trinity, whereas "dynamics" references to the number two. . . I think.
Or would that be binamics, whatever that may be? I thought dynamics was something to do with explosions. Either way, it is unhelpful here.


Brother Gonzalez, have you considered asking your wife to bake loaves in the proportion of 5 loaves to every 2 fishes?


Revelation 21:8

But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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Default Re: What to do if Jesus multiplies your fishes? - 03-05-2020, 10:39 PM

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Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
I thought dynamics was something to do with explosions. Either way, it is unhelpful here.
The overall fish pop. exploded, non?
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Default Re: What to do if Jesus multiplies your fishes? - 03-05-2020, 10:46 PM

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Originally Posted by upchucker67 View Post
The overall fish pop. exploded, non?
Is that an attempt at humor? God will not be mocked.


Galatians 6:7

Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows that he will also reap.


It was God that chose to bless our Brother will more fish than which he started out. And it is to God that we look for our understanding.


His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

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Default Re: What to do if Jesus multiplies your fishes? - 03-05-2020, 11:01 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Gonzalez View Post
A miracle has happened, and Jesus has decided to multiply my fishes! I have 10 now!
Remarkable! The gift of life has appeared in your own home.
Quote:
Did this ever happened to you?
Never! Then I never kept fish. The nearest I got to living fish was when a friend went to Canada on a Salmon shoot.
Quote:
But should I do something special? Should I call the media?
Well... You have announced it on Landover, and so God knows what has happened, and, if He deems it necessary, He will send dreams to the multitude. As far as the "cash" side is concerned, unless one of the fish looks like Jesus, I don't see much profit.





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

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Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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Default Re: What to do if Jesus multiplies your fishes? - 03-05-2020, 11:08 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
Remarkable! The gift of life has appeared in your own home. Never! Then I never kept fish. The nearest I got to living fish was when a friend went to Canada on a Salmon shoot.
Well... You have announced it on Landover, and so God knows what has happened, and, if He deems it necessary, He will send dreams to the multitude. As far as the "cash" side is concerned, unless one of the fish looks like Jesus, I don't see much profit.
A fish that looks like Jesus! You are so clever, Brother Bathfire.


I know that you have a reputation for being a fierce defender of the Faith and a tough teacher, but it is nice to see your lighter side.


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Default Re: What to do if Jesus multiplies your fishes? - 03-06-2020, 12:00 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alvin Moss View Post
God has provided you with bait fish and I believe Her expects you to use them to catch larger fish, that you might eat them.
Thanks for the enlightment, Brother. Your intelligence is remarkable. Texans are God's choice inside America, I believe so.


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Default Re: What to do if Jesus multiplies your fishes? - 03-06-2020, 12:01 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
Remarkable! The gift of life has appeared in your own home. Never! Then I never kept fish. The nearest I got to living fish was when a friend went to Canada on a Salmon shoot.
Well... You have announced it on Landover, and so God knows what has happened, and, if He deems it necessary, He will send dreams to the multitude. As far as the "cash" side is concerned, unless one of the fish looks like Jesus, I don't see much profit.
Please let me know if you dream about fishes. My fishes, specially.


1 Thessalonians 4:16 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the TRUMP of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first.
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Default Re: What to do if Jesus multiplies your fishes? - 03-06-2020, 12:22 AM

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Please let me know if you dream about fishes. My fishes, specially.
Perhaps he sleeps with the fishes in his dreams.
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Default Re: What to do if Jesus multiplies your fishes? - 03-06-2020, 12:58 AM

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Originally Posted by upchucker67 View Post
Perhaps he sleeps with the fishes in his dreams.
Again with the jokes.
What exactly are you trying to do here, may I ask?


Have you, by any chance, decided to read this book?


It is actually the one thing that we are looking for in our forum visitors.


Even Didymus Much, who is as far from knowing The Lord as anyone, at least knows the Bible and is able to discuss it as it pertains to our purpose for maintaining this website in the first place.


His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

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upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.upchucker67 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: What to do if Jesus multiplies your fishes? - 03-06-2020, 01:31 AM

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Originally Posted by handmaiden View Post
Again with the jokes.
What exactly are you trying to do here, may I ask?
I'm trying to be right with God everyday, and fellowship with you good people. I hope you enjoy my jokes. Remember --


Proverbs 17:22 A merry heart doeth good like a medicine:...(..)


There's no better medicine than Hucker humor, IMO. It got me through my corona.
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