[Elmer G. White]

Brethren and Sisters,

Christmas is over and while the presence of Jesus was invigorating, there were also many horrendous incidences around the world. Perhaps the worst took place in our living room. Grandparents. Unsaved old trash. You've gotta respect them but my oh my do they respect Jesus? Actually, they don't.

You may also have wondered why practically all young girls and boys nowadays have an obsession about male reproductive organs. The life of pre-teen kids is all about sex, premarital and unnaturally sodomistic sex, tallowhackers and cooters and seed. Ask no more. These two sordid phenomena - grandparents and the underage compulsion to wieners - have a common nominator. Toys.

My parents whom I hate (Luke 14:26) but honour (Exodus 20:12 albeit this may cause me to remain on Earth longer than I wish) visited us and brought Christmas presents. Had the children not been present I would have discarded them but my folks insisted on the kids opening them immediately. Cooking utensils for the half-children it seemed, practising how to be a housewife. Seemed fine and I actually thought my mother had started to respect by Faith.

No.

It was the Play-Doh Cake Mountain Topper. A tool to squirt fake icing on a fake cake.



It is a frosting dispenser. It produces a thick fluid the child can spread on her formations.



The conspiracy between Satan, toy manufacturers and grandparents has reached new spheres. At present it is not only female offspring but also boys who strive to become chefs and cooks. They practise with these apparatuses. Soon they will discover that these toys can be inserted. The first penetration is inevitable and irreversible, Satan gains a victory.

Nakedness is NEVER acceptable.

Exodus 20:26
Neither shalt thou go up by steps unto mine altar, that thy nakedness be not discovered thereon.

Exodus 28:42
And thou shalt make them linen breeches to cover their nakedness; from the loins even unto the thighs they shall reach:

Leviticus 18:6
None of you shall approach to any that is near of kin to him, to uncover their nakedness: I am the LORD.

Now hundreds of millions of children are learning that male genitals are natural, that it is normal to touch them, that it is acceptable to make them squirt, that they produce something intended for oral consumption, that they can be fun, that you can insert them anywhere for pleasure, that similar body parts exist, that they also squirt, can be put into use by oral penetration for pleasure, that the nether regions are fun to play with, that Jesus can be ignored.

Needless to say, those thingies are in the furnace of our house. My parents will never ever visit us unsupervised again and they'll know the heat of the Furnace (Matthew 13:50) any day now.

Thank you, Jesus for exposing yet another lie of Satan. Come quickly and fill me with your essence! Praise God!

Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Alvin Moss]

That is just dreadful. Thank you for this timely and informative report.

[Witch Hammer]

You speak truth as always, brother Elmer.
Play-Doh corporation is #1 in pushing sodomy on children of all ages.

At first glance, this product seems innocent enough:



What better way to teach young girls to make Ezekiel Bread (Ezekiel 4:12), fresh and steaming, just like mommy....right? Wrong....

To the well informed, it is painfully obvious that this is nothing less than a small-scale dildo factory. And black dildoes studded with corn kernels "for her pleasure", at that!

Jesus weeps...

[Jim Farmer]

Play-Doh is owned by Hasbro. It will come as no surprise to True Christians™ that Hasbro is a Joo company.
Other things from Hasbro include:
Action Man
Battle Beasts
Beyblade
B-Daman
Hamtaro
Cabbage Patch Kids (1989–1994)
Furby (2005–present)
Easy-Bake Oven
FurReal Friends (Furry Frenzies)
G.I. Joe
Sesame Street
Jem
Jurassic Park
Kre-O
Lincoln Logs
Lite-Brite
Littlest Pet Shop
M.A.S.K.
Mr. Potato Head
My Little Pony
Nerf
Play-Doh
Pokémon (1998–2005)
Pound Puppies (2010 TV series)
Pound Puppies
Spirograph
Star Wars
Talk 'n Play
Tinkertoy
Transformers
Zoids

Axis & Allies
Battleship
Candy Land
Cranium
Clue (Cluedo)
Diplomacy
Dungeons & Dragons
The Grape Escape
Magic: The Gathering
Duel Masters Trading Card Game
Monopoly
Ouija
Pictionary
Risk
Scrabble
Trivial Pursuit
Mirror-Mirror