[Witch Hammer]

I'm curious, what is the maximum capacity of Naomi's Moist Pie? In other words, how many patrons can it comfortably accommodate without feeling crowded?

[MitzaLizalor]

Prayer is the answer.

Matthew 17:20
And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.

That includes The Rockies

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor

Prayer is the answer.

Matthew 17:20
And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.

That includes The Rockies

That is one of my favorite verses! I love the fact that my lowly stature, as a woman, He loves me, and through His Infinite Grace and power sees it fit to bestow on me a small amount of it and thus, I can do His Work better. This is just wonderful proof that the Lord loves those who serve Him!

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Glory to God! I am pleased to offer my pie in three more states: godless California, godless New York, and godless Utah. Jesus told me to spread my moist goodness to these sinful areas in order to testify of His Grace and love.

If anyone is willing to move to godless California, I am hiring cooks for that location. Praise Jesus!

NRL

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb

Glory to God! I am pleased to offer my pie in three more states: godless California, godless New York, and godless Utah. Jesus told me to spread my moist goodness to these sinful areas in order to testify of His Grace and love.

If anyone is willing to move to godless California, I am hiring cooks for that location. Praise Jesus!

NRL

Why Naomi, praise the Lord! I live in California, so while I am not to work outside the home, I can recommend to you three lovely young ladies...I'll send their info soon.

[BaptistBethany]

Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb

Glory to God! I am pleased to offer my pie in three more states: godless California, godless New York, and godless Utah. Jesus told me to spread my moist goodness to these sinful areas in order to testify of His Grace and love.

If anyone is willing to move to godless California, I am hiring cooks for that location. Praise Jesus!

NRL

Congratulations, Naomi! The Lord has truly blessed you with such a wonderful business! You should consider opening a pie store in Virginia. So many southern gentlemen love pies!

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Originally Posted by BaptistBethany

Congratulations, Naomi! The Lord has truly blessed you with such a wonderful business! You should consider opening a pie store in Virginia. So many southern gentlemen love pies!

Dearest Bethany,
How kind of you. I am more than willing to open in your state - I just love spreading my pie, especially to an appreciative southern gentleman. Do you have any ideas for a location? I have certain size requirements in order to have a suitable and successful business experience. I would simply adore having you work for me if you had permission.
Your loving sister in Him,
NRL

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Originally Posted by Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson

Why Naomi, praise the Lord! I live in California, so while I am not to work outside the home, I can recommend to you three lovely young ladies...I'll send their info soon.

Dearest Darling Elizabeth,

I so wish Micky or Mike or whatever his name is would permit you to work for a Christian company based on Baptist principles. I only hire those with a passion for Christ and a desire to satisfy my customers in a Godly fashion. However, thank you for submitting the names of potential cooks; are they True Christians™?

In case you aren't familiar, Naomi's Moist Pie locations offer women an environment free of harassment. Interactions with the male employees are very well supervised and must begin and end with prayer. We supply modest uniforms (just above the ankle) and hairnets are also free. Health and dental insurance is provided by Jesus (By His stripes we are healed). An emergency menstrahut is located behind every store. We have daily prayer meetings and we lay hands on our customers whenever they request it.

I hope you'll talk with Mack and that he will consider even a part time position. If you want me to meet with him privately, I feel certain that I could convince him.

Your loving sister in the Lord,
NRL

[Esther B.]

Congratulations!

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb

Dearest Darling Elizabeth,

I so wish Micky or Mike or whatever his name is would permit you to work for a Christian company based on Baptist principles. I only hire those with a passion for Christ and a desire to satisfy my customers in a Godly fashion. However, thank you for submitting the names of potential cooks; are they True Christians™?

In case you aren't familiar, Naomi's Moist Pie locations offer women an environment free of harassment. Interactions with the male employees are very well supervised and must begin and end with prayer. We supply modest uniforms (just above the ankle) and hairnets are also free. Health and dental insurance is provided by Jesus (By His stripes we are healed). An emergency menstrahut is located behind every store. We have daily prayer meetings and we lay hands on our customers whenever they request it.

I hope you'll talk with Mack and that he will consider even a part time position. If you want me to meet with him privately, I feel certain that I could convince him.

Your loving sister in the Lord,
NRL

Naomi, dear,

I spoke with my husband, and he said he would be willing to meet with you about me working there (till I give birth, and then later on -- a wife must take care of her husband first -- 1 Timothy 5:8, Proverbs 14:1 and 1 Timothy 2:15), under the one condition that I would be there also, so that no heathen could say there was anything unbecoming of a lovely single young lady meeting privately with a handsome, but married man. The ladies that I submitted are lovely, Christian women, who are like myself -- slender, white, Christian, meek, and Republican.

Your loving sister in Christ,
Elizabeth

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Now that the state of Indiana has exercised its Republican rights related to business owners refusing to cater to the gaywise, I have the great pleasure to open Naomi's Moist Pie in Indianapolis, Fort Wayne, and Gnawbone, Indiana. The buildings are purchased, and interviews for management (male) and kitchen staff (female) will begin soon. While I don't care how many homersekshuls buy my goods, I will not bake for their so-called weddings, civil unions, commitment ceremonies, etc. I just cannot imagine my pie being of interest since each ingredient is prayed over and lifted up to Jesus for His Glory, but In-The-Closet gays can be very deceiving if not out and out cocky.

In my California store, for instance, a homer wore a shirt proclaiming that he was "Born Again and Gay" and on the back of the shirt was a photo of Jesus holding two male symbols intertwined. My manager was just about to escort him out when another straight customer grabbed him by the tshirt and threw him in the alley. Even now the store is being picketed, but it is also being protected by angelic warriors. Glory!

[Granny June]

From the Desk of
GRANNY JUNE
Office Temp and #1 Volunteer for Christ

Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb

While I don't care how many homersekshuls buy my goods, I will not bake for their so-called weddings.

sister, I question this sorry.

you are keeping the homogays amongst us alive by allowing them food. What if the gay crawled to your store on death's store, having just survived a month-long "party" and was about to expire, then you gave him a pie and he lived could you live with that?

i suppose you'd offer him water too to revive him too so he might live to sin another day infecting God™ knows how many innocent children and animals it is not right Excuse me you are adding and abetting the enemy



(insert scripture here) do later

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Originally Posted by Granny June

From the Desk of
GRANNY JUNE
Office Temp and #1 Volunteer for Christ

sister, I question this sorry.

you are keeping the homogays amongst us alive by allowing them food. What if the gay crawled to your store on death's store, having just survived a month-long "party" and was about to expire, then you gave him a pie and he lived could you live with that?

i suppose you'd offer him water too to revive him too so he might live to sin another day infecting God™ knows how many innocent children and animals it is not right Excuse me you are adding and abetting the enemy



(insert scripture here) do later

Dearest June,

You may disagree with me, but as a True Christian™ I am incapable of making the wrong decision. What the homos that frequent my establishments do not know is that a dollar from every purchase goes to fund Anti-GLBTQ causes and legislation. They are purchasing their own restrictions, you see. They don't take time to read the warning label - and that's their own fault.

In Christ,
NRL

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Originally Posted by Granny June

From the Desk of
GRANNY JUNE
Office Temp and #1 Volunteer for Christ

sister, I question this sorry.

you are keeping the homogays amongst us alive by allowing them food. What if the gay crawled to your store on death's store, having just survived a month-long "party" and was about to expire, then you gave him a pie and he lived could you live with that?

i suppose you'd offer him water too to revive him too so he might live to sin another day infecting God™ knows how many innocent children and animals it is not right Excuse me you are adding and abetting the enemy



(insert scripture here) do later

Granny June,

They are only going to be alive for so long until they die and go to Hell for their sins. Thus, why not we profit off them now in this world, and get their money to do His work? That seems like the most American and godly thing to do!

Yours in Christ,
Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Yet ANOTHER Expansion! Glory to God!

A bounteous spread is in store for the citizens of Nashville, Tennessee and Harrison, Arkansas. I am opening my pie to those people on April 12, 2015. Just read the following story that was published in the Tennessean:

(AP Nashville) Music City has yet another reason to celebrate. Everyone in this town loves a good pie - especially cherry! Well, you won't be disappointed when entrepreneur Naomi Ruth Lamb opens the doors to her incredible pie on Monday, April 12. Located just a few doors from the Ernest Tubb Record Shop, Naomi's Moist Pie offers a wide assortment of temptations guaranteed to make any man (or woman) drool! Rated as superb in Zagat's Guide, Naomi brings her True Christian™ style to each and every encounter with her pie. Miss Lamb stated, "We pray over each and every ingredient and ask the Holy Ghost to inspire our cooks. We're not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ. In fact, we have prayer rooms available, staffed with trained prayer warriors during business hours. I offer private meetings - which can include a private tasting - by appointment."

But you better book now: Naomi has private tastings booked through July 3 and times go fast.

I am so humbled by this article. The halcyon village of Harrison, Arkansas, a sleepy little bastion of racial purity, will also enjoy my pie as I attend the grand opening on April 17th. All are welcome to join me as I continue to service the working men (indeed, all people) for the glory of Jesus.

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

I'll see if I can get permission to fly out and visit you...I've met your parents in person, and I hope to see you too soon, my dear Sister in Christ!

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Originally Posted by Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson

I'll see if I can get permission to fly out and visit you...I've met your parents in person, and I hope to see you too soon, my dear Sister in Christ!

Oh, how wonderful! We could get a hotel outside the gates of Freehold unless you could petition the pastor for a temporary pass. I have plenty of room in my beautiful, expansive Apostle's Park Court estate. (All glory to God)

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb

Oh, how wonderful! We could get a hotel outside the gates of Freehold unless you could petition the pastor for a temporary pass. I have plenty of room in my beautiful, expansive Apostle's Park Court estate. (All glory to God)

I would hate to pester one of the good pastors, do you know would be the best person to ask. But if God advises me against going in, may I take up your generous offer to meet your outside the gates?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb

Oh, how wonderful! We could get a hotel outside the gates of Freehold unless you could petition the pastor for a temporary pass. I have plenty of room in my beautiful, expansive Apostle's Park Court estate. (All glory to God)

If the two of you want to shack up in some flophouse outside of Freehold proper, You have my blessing.

Of course, getting back in might present problems for you.....

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

If the two of you want to shack up in some flophouse outside of Freehold proper, You have my blessing.

Of course, getting back in might present problems for you.....

Elizabeth,
It appears that such a visit might not be best at this time. However, do not despair! Pastor Ezekiel is not beyond changing his mind. I'll $ee what it might take to bring about a $incere and $ati$factory re$ult.

NRL