[Des]

Rufus the weasel, lost on or about April 26.


Color: Rust with white underbelly.


Size: About a foot long.


Answers to Rufus by looking in your direction, hissing, and continuing to do whatever he was doing.


Likes: Chickens, eggs, electrical wires, rabbits, kittens, shiny things.


Dislikes: Everything else.


Last seen: I had him with me in Bangkok, and am certain he was crawling around in Mariko's handbag while we were touring CERN. Haven't seen him since.


If found, please do not approach. Toss him a chicken neck or your car keys & call me immediately.


$500 reward if alive.


God bless.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Originally Posted by Des

$500 reward if alive.

Uh, is there a "not alive" reward?

[Roland]

Originally Posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole

Uh, is there a "not alive" reward?

Yes. As it seems to have been fried, pretty well done, you could eat it.

My condolences to Des.

[Des]

Originally Posted by Roland

Yes. As it seems to have been fried, pretty well done, you could eat it.

My condolences to Des.

What? Ohhh, this is worse than when my dearly departed Missus drank a bottle of my best scotch while overdosing!

Poor little Rufus. Poor sweet little Rufus who only bit what he loved!

[Roland]

Originally Posted by Des

What? Ohhh, this is worse than when my dearly departed Missus drank a bottle of my best scotch while overdosing!

Poor little Rufus. Poor sweet little Rufus who only bit what he loved!

Hello Des,

I am sorry for your loss. Perhaps it might offer some consolidation to know Rufus probably didn´t suffer long. The news article mentions he was transformed in what they call ¨charred remains, most likely from a small animal¨. Rufus most likely never knew what hit him.

Kind regards,

Roland

[Basilissa]

Originally Posted by Des

Likes: Chickens, eggs, electrical wires, rabbits, kittens, shiny things.

Well, then at least he died in what he would have considered a weasel paradise:

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Did Rufus have a conductive palladium collar by any chance? If so, there's a chance he may have emerged in the future. Keep your eyes peeled.

[Titus Templeton]

Stephen Hawking probably saw Rufus wandering around searching for his human. Scared and afraid he was an easy victim. And as we all know retards have pleasure in animal cruelty. Hawking lured refus into the particle collider and pushed the button. I don't have proof for this but a voice in my head tells me its happened that way.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

So sad to hear about your loss Brother Des - they are one of the most lovable of God's creatures.

We used to use weasels for home remodeling projects using "Rent a Weasel" (not the Democrat politician kind that Donald Trump used to get his permits approved). Drill small holes into the ceiling rafters, tie a pull string around the weasel's collar, and wave a KFC drumstick in the other hole and we could get all the CAT-5 and other cable pulled without much drywall patching at all.

[Des]

Thank you all for your sympathy. If it turns out that Rufus did die at CERN, I can't help but feel he served a roll in God's Grand Plan. Those scientists needed to be brought down a peg or two, what with their trying to claim God is just a particle and all. Perhaps the hand of little baby Jesus was guiding Rufus' surprisingly sharp teeth, whispering "This'll show 'em who's the boss!" in his tiny ear.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Funny story, I once lost a gerbil for several days. The doctors found the little varmint in my... actually, that's not very funny. I retract that.

[Toilet Brain]

You kept him in a handbag!? That's animal abuse!

[Des]

Originally Posted by Chloorbleektoilet

You kept him in a handbag!? That's animal abuse!

Says the baby murderer.

[Toilet Brain]

Originally Posted by Des

Says the baby murderer.

I never killed babies and stop deleting my posts!!!

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Originally Posted by Toilet Brain

I never killed babies and stop deleting my posts!!!

Nobody is deleting your posts. If a post vanishes here, from time to time the obvious conclusion is that Jesus has taken exception to the post and acted accordingly.

Luke 4:35 And Jesus rebuked him, saying, Hold thy peace, and come out of him. And when the devil had thrown him in the midst, he came out of him, and hurt him not.

YIC

[Toilet Brain]

Originally Posted by Dr Laurence Niles

Nobody is deleting your posts. If a post vanishes here, from time to time the obvious conclusion is that Jesus has taken exception to the post and acted accordingly.

Luke 4:35 And Jesus rebuked him, saying, Hold thy peace, and come out of him. And when the devil had thrown him in the midst, he came out of him, and hurt him not.

YIC

I don't believe you!

[Mary Etheldreda]

Originally Posted by Toilet Brain

I don't believe you!

Usually I suspect the person whining about disappearing posts is high on drugs or simply insane, but Dr. Niles is a very well respected, highly educated Psychotheological Analyst Therapist. If anyone could peg you as delusional with hallucinations of posts, he could. The fact that he didn't solidifies the fact that Jesus Almighty Himself has placed His Holy Hand once again over the waters of our forum and has removed the scum. Praise Jesus!!!!

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Originally Posted by Toilet Brain

I don't believe you!

Young lady, the post was a direct quote from the Bible(KJV1611). If you can substantiate where I (or any True Christian™) has ever misquoted the Bible(KJ 1611) I will donate $10 to your Jesus hating charity of choice.

Your move atheist.

YIC

[Toilet Brain]

Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda

. The fact that he didn't solidifies the fact that Jesus Almighty Himself has placed His Holy Hand once again over the waters of our forum and has removed the scum.

How?! Give me a good explanation! ( probably won't be possible )

[Mary Etheldreda]

Originally Posted by Toilet Brain

How?!