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The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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Default Re: Good morning, and thank you. - 10-07-2019, 06:21 PM

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Originally Posted by Isabella White View Post
As for your friendly comments in the other part of your message, I should mention that I was married to Wilbur White, and not to "Mr. Smith".


Maybe he had you confused with Granny Smith apples.


His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

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Default Re: Good morning, and thank you. - 10-07-2019, 11:33 PM

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Originally Posted by Isabella White View Post
Oh, thank you ever so kindly, dear Great-Grandbaby Brother Larry. Goodness, I hope that I have not given the impression that I am "available" since the departure of my beloved Wilbur. Your dear old Granny is steadfast in her devotion to the and .

I Corinthians 15:58 "Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord."

As for my will and personal effects, you can rest assured that my lawyer has that all under control. Why, I have even recently tagged my precious epergnes with "For Larry" stickers. You have nothing to fear, dear boy.

A blessed day to you, dear darling Larry,
Lovingly, Granny Isabella
And don't forget, Paul recommends that older widows who can't bear children should not get married, unless they are burning with passion.


For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I.
But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.


1 Corinthians 7:7-9


Psalm 62:5-7 KJV
My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defence;
I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God.
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Default Re: Good morning, and thank you. - 10-08-2019, 12:49 AM

Mr. McGregor (or whatever your name is), I have honed my craft as an attorney to minister only to verifiably genuine Christians who seek my help when they've found themselves victimized by discrimination or whenever their First Amendment (or Second Amendment) rights have been denied them in ways you cannot even imagine. There rate at which the rights of Christians are being curtailed in this day and age is staggering and tragic. I can assure you that - as I have limited my practice to only the area I've outlined above - my skills as an attorney are not of the sort you would find useful. I can refer you to a public defender with whom I am loosely acquainted who specializes in cases of larceny, welfare fraud, immigration violations, drug possession convictions, and public indecency. He has a very notable track record of getting sentences reduced where men of your ilk have honorably served substantial portions of their sentences without incident. I any event, I'm certain you can appreciate that in my chosen vocation, I have little time for "friends" and tend to associate socially only with those whose cases I have been retained to handle. I appreciate your interest and hope you can find the friends you seek as your medical career begins to take shape.

One area where I may one day be able to represent you is when you petition the court for a surname change. It's a fairly simple and affordable process (payments can be arranged) and I'm confident that any judge in my district will have a keen interest in overseeing your case and assisting you with relieving you of your Scottish surname in favor of one more appropriate for a man of your status.
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Default Re: Good morning, and thank you. - 10-08-2019, 12:59 AM

Brother Larry, if I may, I hereby offer my apology for my mental misfire when writing to Mrs. White last night. I was awake well past when I should have been long asleep as I was due in court early this morning. I was not thinking clearly and "Mr. Smith" is actually a client with whom I am working to preserve a local Confederate historical marker. I fear I may well have come across as flirtatious and it was never my intent. But your beloved great grandmother is obviously still feeling the weight of the loss of your great grandfather; Mr. White and I was interested only in offering her some solace. Please accept my apology for my carelessness and know that I am in no way interested in the financial affairs of your family. Should your great grandmother ever need the services of an accomplished Christian-rights attorney, I stand ready to offer an initial consultation at no charge whatsoever, as an act of good faith.
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Default Re: Good morning, and thank you. - 10-08-2019, 01:14 AM

Dearest Mrs. White, I carelessly mistyped the name of a client I am currently representing on an important case (Mr. Smith) when I should have been more alert. For this I am most deeply regretful and would beg your forgiveness. Mr. White must have been a very happy man during the years you and he shared before he was victimized. Returning home every night to a Christian woman such as you was something for which I am sure he offered our Creator thanks every day of his life. Again, if you can find it in your heart to grant forgiveness for my error last evening, I will be most grateful and in your debt. You've already demonstrated your kindness with the thoughts and advice you imparted to me, a perfect stranger, last evening. May Jesus Christ cradle you in His love.
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Default Re: Good morning, and thank you. - 10-08-2019, 01:24 AM

Dana, I sense you may be a source from which I might learn. How would a man who encounters a widow be led to know that she 'burns' as you've so astutely cited that Paul described? How would a widow convey such feelings and what remedies would be prescribed for her by a Christian physician? I have a client in just such a situation and your insight will be shared with her to the extent you will allow.

May Jesus Christ guide my every thought and action.

Last edited by C. S. Darrow, Esq.; 10-08-2019 at 01:25 AM. Reason: misspelling
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Default Re: Good morning, and thank you. - 10-08-2019, 01:50 AM

Precious Maxine, I respect your reservations and would only ask that you continue with Bible study as you clearly are wont to do. If I may share with you a favorite verse of mine that I believe will help you to remain mindful of our Lord's vision for all of us, but especially young women such as yourself;

Psalms 51: 5 "Behold, I was shapen in iniquitie: and in sinne did my mother conceiue me."

I trust that your nuptials are already being planned and that you aspire to find a man soon who will provide instruction, discipline, and Godly love in Jesus' name and that your garden will bear him abundant gifts of life.
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Default Re: Good morning, and thank you. - 10-08-2019, 02:15 AM

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Originally Posted by BibleReader2231 View Post
I remember recalling a Nigerian lawyer trying to get close to Sister Isabella in the past. This man attends a missionary, has a Nigra sounding name, and is acting like a lawyer. I am going to be cautious in saying hello as instructed in 1 John 4:1 Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.
My goodness, dear younger Sister Maxine! I had forgotten about that Nigerian "lawyer" and his proposal to send me an inheritance, or whatever nonsense he was on about. You certainly do have an excellent memory, young lady! And thank you for the reference from the about trying the spirits -- excellent advice! And, in case any smarty-pants whippersnappers are reading this and wanting to make ungodly suggestions, might I say, here and now, that that reference does NOT mean imbibing demonic alcohol!

A blessed evening to you, Dear,
Sincerely, Isabella W.


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Default Re: Good morning, and thank you. - 10-08-2019, 02:17 AM

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Originally Posted by handmaiden View Post
Maybe he had you confused with Granny Smith apples.
Well, umm, I suppose that that is a possibility, dear Sister Handmaiden. I will admit that I've been told, on occasion, that I can be rather "tart" at times.

A blessed evening to you, Dear,
Sincerely, Isabella W.


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Default Re: Good morning, and thank you. - 10-08-2019, 02:22 AM

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Originally Posted by Dana723 View Post
And don't forget, Paul recommends that older widows who can't bear children should not get married, unless they are burning with passion.

For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I.
But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

1 Corinthians 7:7-9
Dear Sister Dana: You can rest most assured that, at the age of 84, my days of passion are but an almost-forgotten memory. I like to think of how pleased our beloved Paul would be if he were privy to that knowledge!

A blessed evening to you, Dear,
Sincerely, Isabella W.


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Default Re: Good morning, and thank you. - 10-08-2019, 02:33 AM

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Originally Posted by C. S. Darrow, Esq. View Post
Dearest Mrs. White, I carelessly mistyped the name of a client I am currently representing on an important case (Mr. Smith) when I should have been more alert. For this I am most deeply regretful and would beg your forgiveness. Mr. White must have been a very happy man during the years you and he shared before he was victimized. Returning home every night to a Christian woman such as you was something for which I am sure he offered our Creator thanks every day of his life. Again, if you can find it in your heart to grant forgiveness for my error last evening, I will be most grateful and in your debt. You've already demonstrated your kindness with the thoughts and advice you imparted to me, a perfect stranger, last evening. May Jesus Christ cradle you in His love.
Oh, good evening, Mr. Darrow: Thank you for your explanation and for your most kind apology. Heavens, I assumed it was just an oversight when you had written the wrong name, and I had forgotten about it almost as soon as I'd mentioned it. These little slip-ups happen to all of us, from time to time. And, yes, you are quite correct in that my beloved Wilbur was very happy with his darling Isabella. "Bella, oh dearest Bella", he would sing when he arrived home from the office, and how happy I was to hear him! Oh, I know that I mustn't go on about this, so I do ask your forgiveness if my sentimentality has caused you to shed a tear.

And as for the thoughts and advice that I had given to you earlier, you are as welcome as the flowers in May. I'm always glad to be helpful, and I think you'll find that that's the way it is here at . The has brought us all together here at , and we do strive to help each other serve Almighty.

May the richly bless you, Mr. Darrow,
Sincerely, Isabella W.


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Default Re: Good morning, and thank you. - 10-08-2019, 02:10 PM

Mr Darrow, are you specialized in migration crimes? I do have a list of illegal aliens in the US that I have gathered in Mexico, talking friendly to people here about their relatives in the US.
Those Catholics talk a lot, and now I am in possession of the names and cities of residence of many, many of my fellow latins.


Can you do something with the list?


Thanks for your service!


1 Thessalonians 4:16 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the TRUMP of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first.
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Default Re: Good morning, and thank you. - 10-08-2019, 11:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by C. S. Darrow, Esq. View Post
Precious Maxine, I respect your reservations and would only ask that you continue with Bible study as you clearly are wont to do. If I may share with you a favorite verse of mine that I believe will help you to remain mindful of our Lord's vision for all of us, but especially young women such as yourself;

Psalms 51: 5 "Behold, I was shapen in iniquitie: and in sinne did my mother conceiue me."

I trust that your nuptials are already being planned and that you aspire to find a man soon who will provide instruction, discipline, and Godly love in Jesus' name and that your garden will bear him abundant gifts of life.
Mister Darrow, if that is your real name, I have to correct you on one thing. The Bible verse you are referencing is about children conceived before marriage. I can assure you that I was born a year after my parents got married. I ask my Pa all the time about how his wedding was in hopes that I may have a similar one when I am ready for marriage.

If that’s not what you’re meaning, then the verse you’ve chosen is out of place with what you’re trying to convey. Excuse me for correcting a man but I don’t want The Bible being misused.


My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).
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Default Re: Good morning, and thank you. - 10-09-2019, 12:45 AM

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Originally Posted by C. S. Darrow, Esq. View Post

. . . .

. . . my unfortunate resemblance to an ancestor of mine whose legacy I loathe. Yes, he was a registered Republican, but a sorry excuse for one by today's Godly standards. At any rate, I hope I can be of service and contribute something worthwhile to your sacred mission. May Jesus Christ guide my every thought and action in His name.
Hello there Mr. Darrow,

If I read your lineage correctly, I do believe that we may have a blood feud here - which I sincerely hope we can avoid.

I see that someone here has seen fit to make you a member, and we're already off on the wrong foot in that I do believe your ancestor was a filthy Democrat rather than a Republican. Now my ancestor was also a Democrat - we do have something in common, and I rebuke him to this very day for that, but otherwise he was a Godly man.

Let's get a couple of things straight here - that monkey boy Scopes was guilty and convicted by a jury, and getting him off on a "technicality" served an injustice on the American people.

Similarly, those elitist soy boys Leopold and Loeb should have gotten the chair, and it may have served a warning to those elite DC Democrats to not persecute our present Godly President Trump - and try to get away with it. The Lord's Justice is swift and true, and we don't need any flannel mouth lawyers doing the work of the devil.


Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Default Re: Good morning, and thank you. - 10-09-2019, 01:37 AM

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Originally Posted by Brother Gonzalez View Post
Mr Darrow, are you specialized in migration crimes? I do have a list of illegal aliens in the US that I have gathered in Mexico, talking friendly to people here about their relatives in the US.
Those Catholics talk a lot, and now I am in possession of the names and cities of residence of many, many of my fellow latins.


Can you do something with the list?


Thanks for your service!
Brother Gonzalez, I am involved only in cases where Christians are victims of discrimination or oppression. There is a man with whom I am familiar whose practice does specialize in immigration issues, but who divides his time between Skokie, Illinois (well to my South) and El Paso, Texas. Latins are rarely drawn to Kenilworth, Illinois, except perhaps when employed in certain industries that provide services to our fine residents, but are based in municipalities peripheral to Kenilworth. I've reason to believe there may have been some latins in a crew that was recently in the employ of a firm with whom I had contracted for large boulder placement in the creek that runs through my property. I reported to their management that I'd found three partial corn husks along the bank of the creek in a shady area and that in the future, such litter would not be tolerated. He assured me that no legal proceedings would be necessary and he was true to his word. All work was completed in July as promised in writing and payment to the firm is being processed.


If you like, I can have one of my staff reach out to this fellow in Skokie (or El Paso) and forward your request to him. I make no promises nor guarantees about the services he might be asked to provide. He's not a man of particularly good humor where Catholics are concerned, nor was I able to assist him with his own personal discrimination case as he does not meet certain criteria I have in place as I have previously articulated.


If those with whom you associate are clustered anywhere near Juarez, there may be employment opportunities there with an old and well-established company named Werner that recently built a new manufacturing facility there and is looking to hire people with a willingness to work hard and who are willing to sign a long-term wage agreement in lieu of benefits. It is my understanding that many a Catholic has opted for this employment opportunity, even though the hours are very long indeed. But Werner has already demonstrated their commitment to keeping families together by offering employment and shelter to whole families, including children.


So you see, Mr. Gonzales, opportunities abound for latins right where they are. Praise God!
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Default Re: Good morning, and thank you. - 10-09-2019, 01:41 AM

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Originally Posted by BibleReader2231 View Post
Mister Darrow, if that is your real name, I have to correct you on one thing. The Bible verse you are referencing is about children conceived before marriage. I can assure you that I was born a year after my parents got married. I ask my Pa all the time about how his wedding was in hopes that I may have a similar one when I am ready for marriage.

If that’s not what you’re meaning, then the verse you’ve chosen is out of place with what you’re trying to convey. Excuse me for correcting a man but I don’t want The Bible being misused.
Well, you really should know better than correcting a man, but then again, what else to expect from a girl?

All humans are shaped in iniquity. Let me rephrase: we are all sinners by birth. That's because to have a child, the parents have to do something nine months earlier - the less you know about that thing the better. When you get married, just remember to close your eyes and think about Jesus when the time for that thing comes. Also - and in fact much more importantly - it's because we inherit the original sin, and the only way to wash that horrible thing away is to wash ourselves in our sweet Savior's blood. (Now, please don't even think about washing yourself in animal blood, or in your monthly blood, it's not the same thing).

Romans 5:12 - Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:

Basically, if we weren't sinners by birth, Jesus' one-and-a-half-day-long death would be meaningless. Do you really think that the fact that Jesus was dead for over one day is meaningless?

Honestly, I cannot imagine why would you think that Psalm 51:5 refers to children born out of wedlock. It was composed by King David - is there some information about his mother that you would like to share? Just please remember, that if King David were conceived out of wedlock, he could not have entered the congregation of the Lord - and forget about being the king:

Deuteronomy 23:2 - A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the LORD.

Really, I don't know why you dislike Mr. Darren so much, but you need to concentrate more on the log in your eye, dear.
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Default Re: Good morning, and thank you. - 10-09-2019, 01:57 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Gonzalez View Post
Mr Darrow, are you specialized in migration crimes? I do have a list of illegal aliens in the US that I have gathered in Mexico, talking friendly to people here about their relatives in the US.
Those Catholics talk a lot, and now I am in possession of the names and cities of residence of many, many of my fellow latins.


Can you do something with the list?


Thanks for your service!
Brother Gonzalez, I am involved only in cases where Christians are victims of discrimination or oppression. There is a man with whom I am familiar whose practice does specialize in immigration issues, but who divides his time between Skokie, Illinois (well to my South) and El Paso, Texas. Latins are rarely drawn to Kenilworth, Illinois, except perhaps when employed in certain industries that provide services to our fine residents, but are based in municipalities peripheral to Kenilworth. I've reason to believe there may have been some latins in a crew that was recently in the employ of a firm with whom I had contracted for large boulder placement in the creek that runs through my property. I reported to their management that I'd found three partial corn husks along the bank of the creek in a shady area and that in the future, such litter would not be tolerated. He assured me that no legal proceedings would be necessary and he was true to his word. All work was completed in July as promised in writing and payment to the firm is being processed.


If you like, I can have one of my staff reach out to this fellow in Skokie (or El Paso) and forward your request to him. I make no promises nor guarantees about the services he might be asked to provide. He's not a man of particularly good humor where Catholics are concerned, nor was I able to assist him with his own personal discrimination case as he does not meet certain criteria I have in place as I have previously articulated.


If those with whom you associate are clustered anywhere near Juarez, there may be employment opportunities there with an old and well-established company named Werner that recently built a new manufacturing facility there and is looking to hire people with a willingness to work hard and who are willing to sign a long-term wage agreement in lieu of benefits. It is my understanding that many a Catholic has opted for this employment opportunity, even though the hours are very long indeed. But Werner has already demonstrated their commitment to keeping families together by offering employment and shelter to whole families, including children.


So you see, Mr. Gonzales, opportunities abound for latins right where they are. Praise God!
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Default Re: Good morning, and thank you. - 10-09-2019, 02:25 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by WilliamJenningsBryan View Post
Hello there Mr. Darrow,

If I read your lineage correctly, I do believe that we may have a blood feud here - which I sincerely hope we can avoid.

I see that someone here has seen fit to make you a member, and we're already off on the wrong foot in that I do believe your ancestor was a filthy Democrat rather than a Republican. Now my ancestor was also a Democrat - we do have something in common, and I rebuke him to this very day for that, but otherwise he was a Godly man.

Let's get a couple of things straight here - that monkey boy Scopes was guilty and convicted by a jury, and getting him off on a "technicality" served an injustice on the American people.

Similarly, those elitist soy boys Leopold and Loeb should have gotten the chair, and it may have served a warning to those elite DC Democrats to not persecute our present Godly President Trump - and try to get away with it. The Lord's Justice is swift and true, and we don't need any flannel mouth lawyers doing the work of the devil.
Mr. Bryan, I am burdened with the reality that my filthy, great-great uncle was, in fact, a registered Republican and it sickens me to even have to write it. Your ancestor was indeed a righteous and Godly man who was inexplicably on the rolls as a registered Democrat. I have reason to believe your ancestor was a victim of an administrative error and have long suspected as much.

John Scopes was a heathen, a scofflaw, and an apostate. That anyone from my family tree would have defended such an animal is a heavy burden I must carry all my days. That the same ancestor would have defended a couple of murderous joos and avoided capital punishment for the two of them is unthinkable. Loeb got what was coming to him, ultimately, about a decade later, as the general population in a prison can be understandably hostile toward his ilk. But Leopold walked free less than four decades later and actually tried to sell a book about his exploits. The shame I feel is a topic about which I pray to our Heavenly Father literally every night at my bedside. I find little comfort knowing that evil little creature died from a heart attack, but that he did so among the latins in Puerto Rico is something I find gratifying.


I can think of no reason, Mr. Bryan, why there should be animus between us. We both have things in our family trees for which we are and should be rightfully ashamed. We can't change what should never have happened almost a century ago, but we can and should work together to ensure that those we teach today learn from the mistakes of our ancestors. I would hold the moral character of William Jennings Bryan, your ancestor, as the gold standard by which any child today should want to pattern their lives, and my ancestor, Clarence, as being the best possible example of the worst possible excuse for a human being to have ever lived. On these points I believe we can stand in agreement.
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Default Re: Good morning, and thank you. - 10-09-2019, 02:43 AM

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Originally Posted by BibleReader2231 View Post
Mister Darrow, if that is your real name ... Excuse me for correcting a man but I don’t want The Bible being misused.
Dear Sister Maxine: I do realize that this is none of my business, but I am hoping, as an elder sister in the that I can help you to see the error of your way here. As Sister Basilissa has pointed out, so astutely, I can see no reason for any dislike or hard feelings toward Mr. Darrow. So far as I know, he has shown himself to be of very good character, and he has taken ample time to explain things very thoroughly, in a polite and reasonable manner. Certainly, seeing him become a Forum Member is verification of this.

Rather than being somewhat defensively-offensive, might I kindly suggest that you seek the regarding your ill-worded message to Brother Darrow?

Matthew 6:6 "But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly."

I do realize that, being a mere girl, you are prone to emotional outbursts from time to time. And I do understand that you have had a somewhat difficult time over the summer, with one thing and another, and so on and so forth. But, meeting with your in prayer, and studying (patiently) the blessed will do you well.

II Peter 3:18 "But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and for ever. Amen."

I wish you a most blessed evening, dear younger Sister,
Sincerely, Isabella W.


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Default Re: Good morning, and thank you. - 10-09-2019, 02:45 AM

I must say that I've seen everything now! A lawyer who is not a Joo! Well, knock me down with a feather. Are you sure you're not Jooish? They make great lawyers as they have no morals. And medical doctors. Same reason btw. Anyways, while I am deeply embedded within the Donald administration, some of my potential Filipino houseboys have problems to enter the Godly and Great U. S. of A. as emancipated minors. I need to fix that.

You'd better understand that I am actually welcoming you unto my Board! This is a rare privilege. Stray from the straight and narrow path unto homer ways and you'll feel our wrath. Keep in line and you might one day be allowed to tithe. What's the best pie your woman can fix?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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