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True Christian™
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Posts: 419
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: First IN LINE FOR RAPTURE!
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ITT: We pretend to be atheists! -
01-06-2011, 11:20 PM
I'll start!
Hey guys, I'm new here and I'd like to discuss with you why the Bible is wrong. The Bible is bull because this guy on television told me so! here
I'm a scientist and a mathematician that currently goes to the University of Ginger in Ontario, Canada! Haha, Christians are so blind and stupid. I've never read the Bible but I know enough to debate it!
May Obama be with you, Janine Walker
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: ITT: We pretend to be atheists! -
01-06-2011, 11:25 PM
I'm going to rape everything I can find!
Yours in Secular Humanism,
Temperance
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
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Posts: 14,181
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: With my nose stuck in the Bible.
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Re: ITT: We pretend to be atheists! -
01-06-2011, 11:48 PM
We totally came from monkeys even though monkeys still exist. Darwin is so cool.
Jesus is so stupid and is just copped from other religions. Haven't you seen Zeitgeist? It explains it all there. Hurrr Durrr.
Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.
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Ex-prostitute on her knees for the Lord Now that she's Saved©, Priceless
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,017
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Wherever Jesus takes me
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Re: ITT: We pretend to be atheists! -
01-06-2011, 11:49 PM
Roast baby? Well, since I absolutely despise God, and since God is the only source of objective morality in the world, don't mind if I do!
Praise Darwin,
Lycia
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,216
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: West of Eden
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Re: ITT: We pretend to be atheists! -
01-06-2011, 11:57 PM
Go Amalek, Go!
Rah, rah, Amalek!
Yea, Amalek!
Jud 1:15 To execute judgment upon all, and to convince all that are un Godly among them of all their un Godly deeds which they have un Godly committed, and of all their hard [speeches] which un Godly sinners have spoken against him.
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,450
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: ITT: We pretend to be atheists! -
01-07-2011, 12:16 AM
Can I play, too?
Why do hate Jesus? Is it because of all the marijuana you've been injecting in your butt?
I like how Pastor "re-contextualizes" a lot of uncomfortable passages in the Bible so they make sense to me and seem not so contradictory, because he is NOT interpreting, just reading them the RIGHT way.
Tomorrow, when a talking donkey tells me about God's Divine Plan, I'll know it's because I'm blessed, and not at all insane.
Now I have to go to my prayer closet to ask God to keep his Intelligent Falling active, because I really don't want to fly off the Earth and hit the firmament and I'd drown in the sky.
God Bless!
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True Christian™
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Posts: 419
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: First IN LINE FOR RAPTURE!
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Re: ITT: We pretend to be atheists! -
01-07-2011, 12:21 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much
Can I play, too?
Why do hate Jesus? Is it because of all the marijuana you've been injecting in your butt?
I like how Pastor "re-contextualizes" a lot of uncomfortable passages in the Bible so they make sense to me and seem not so contradictory, because he is NOT interpreting, just reading them the RIGHT way.
Tomorrow, when a talking donkey tells me about God's Divine Plan, I'll know it's because I'm blessed, and not at all insane.
Now I have to go to my prayer closet to ask God to keep his Intelligent Falling active, because I really don't want to fly off the Earth and hit the firmament and I'd drown in the sky.
God Bless!
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I hate Jesus because my parents didn't get me a nice car for my birthday! I mean HE DOESN'T EXIST DUH! Haha, you said ASS hahahahah!!
That's called physics not Intelligent Falling, see at this fakelinkthatleadsto nowhere. The Earth is round, take that one, Baby Jesus( actual link proving it!)
In Al Gore, Janine Walker
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: ITT: We pretend to be atheists! -
01-07-2011, 12:37 AM
Loves me some anal sex. Loves to bother me some barnyard animals. Don't care what the Bible says about it, nosiree. Think I'll go get an abortion and rape the dead fetus. No human soul there, nope. Guess I'll masturbate just to piss off God, since He didn't give me what I wanted, and He didn't manifest Himself on command. Time to go get a tatoo and smoke some marijuana. But I have to prostitute myself first to get the cash. The universe has no meaning, so I'll just force my beliefs on everybody and spread the AIDS to everyone in my circle of friends. And rape a few children while I'm at it. I'll wear some black robes and burn down a church. Yay!
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: ITT: We pretend to be atheists! -
01-07-2011, 12:56 AM
I'm going to go down to the library and read some books. By EUROPEANS!
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Fourm Member
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Posts: 9,266
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: On my way to Paradise
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Re: ITT: We pretend to be atheists! -
01-07-2011, 01:24 AM
duurrrrr......... uz all stupidz and iz smart cuz iz got a iq of 14934 and iz gut 18 digreez so uz alz stoopidz for fullowinz dat book. and jebus luvs me 'cuz hez luv andz it duznt matturs ifin iz hates himz but hez dun xests
Wow that actually hurt my brain.
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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Re: ITT: We pretend to be atheists! -
01-07-2011, 02:13 AM
I love President Clinton sooo much I had 19 of his embryos implanted in me and every one of them took.
Can I get my own reality TV show for being a whore and the mom of a litter of test tube babies?
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True Christian™ Televangelist Director of Fundraising and Tithing On the Look Out for Wife #6!
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,727
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: ITT: We pretend to be atheists! -
01-07-2011, 02:18 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy Mae Johnson
I love President Clinton sooo much I had 19 of his embyros implanted in me and every one of them took.
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Clinton was the greatest president ever, until our messiah Obama came along. Obama is amazing....he ended the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, fixed the economy, and legalized gays in the military. I just hope that before the end of the term he makes straight marriage illegal and make only homosexual marriage legit.
I know those stupid inbred fundies will be up in their panties over this, but screw them and their book of fairy tales!
PS - I eat babies.
Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.
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Fourm Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 9,266
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: On my way to Paradise
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Re: ITT: We pretend to be atheists! -
01-07-2011, 02:19 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy Mae Johnson
I love President Clinton sooo much I had 19 of his embryos implanted in me and every one of them took.
Can I get my own reality TV show for being a whore and the mom of a litter of test tube babies?
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Nope, sorry, but an African American female personage had a litter and as a liebral you know that the darker the skin the more important the person.
Although we're starting a reality show where all Obama's babymama's will live together with their broods. Would you be interested in that?
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True Christian™
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Posts: 419
Join Date: Dec 2010
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Re: ITT: We pretend to be atheists! -
01-07-2011, 04:50 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BelieverInGod
Nope, sorry, but an African American female personage had a litter and as a liebral you know that the darker the skin the more important the person.
Although we're starting a reality show where all Obama's babymama's will live together with their broods. Would you be interested in that?
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I find that offensive! African Americans are not to referred to as that, it is an offensive term! For now on all African Americans will be referred to as Americans and all white people will be referred to as Inferior Americans. Any questions? CALL MY JEW LAWYER.
Good luck, Janine Walker
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Fourm Member
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Posts: 9,266
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Location: On my way to Paradise
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Re: ITT: We pretend to be atheists! -
01-07-2011, 05:05 AM
Christians are stupid so I'm going to poke them with sticks. If they don't agree with me then there even stupeder. Since I cant argue with them im going to start putting up insulting pictures.
Oh and Jesus, Zeus, Horus, Buddha, and anyone else I can think of are all the same guy and I know that it's all the same story even though I've never actually read any of the histories of any of them. But hey I know cuz IZ RED IT ON TEH INTERNETZ!!!!11!!!1
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Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
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Posts: 14,181
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: With my nose stuck in the Bible.
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Re: ITT: We pretend to be atheists! -
01-07-2011, 05:23 AM
I hate god so much and I don't believe in your magical sky fairy, you freaks!
You're all going to hell!
Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.
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Fourm Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 9,266
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: On my way to Paradise
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Re: ITT: We pretend to be atheists! -
01-07-2011, 05:27 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Levi Jones
I hate god so much and I don't believe in your magical sky fairy, you freaks!
You're all going to hell!
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Oh, that sums it up completely
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#63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
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Posts: 6,234
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Freehold, Ia
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Re: ITT: We pretend to be atheists! -
01-07-2011, 05:39 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BelieverInGod
duurrrrr......... uz all stupidz and iz smart cuz iz got a iq of 14934 and iz gut 18 digreez so uz alz stoopidz for fullowinz dat book. and jebus luvs me 'cuz hez luv andz it duznt matturs ifin iz hates himz but hez dun xests
Wow that actually hurt my brain.
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I can not do this, Im going to my prayer closet. I hope that a man comes with me I do loves sodomy
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The Godliest Man in Godless Canuckistan
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,391
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: America's Frozen Attic
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Re: ITT: We pretend to be atheists! -
01-07-2011, 07:37 AM
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Honorary True Christian™
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Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
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Re: ITT: We pretend to be atheists! -
01-07-2011, 07:46 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dewitt
I can not do this, Im going to my prayer closet. I hope that a man comes with me I do loves sodomy
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Jimbo ne, I can't pretend to be an atheist either. No matter how hard I try, I can't bring myself to misspell "atheist".
Maybe I should join you in your prayer closet.
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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