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Default Beware, Brothers, Of the Latest Scam - 03-25-2011, 11:12 PM

My Brothers and Sisters: Please forgive me for posting a rant, but I feel I must vent my feelings.


This morning, Dotty Dingle, one of my law clerks, took time out from her important work to tell me not to forget “Secretary’s Day.’ When I asked her what that day was, she told me that I should purchase a greeting card, give it to my secretary, and take her to lunch to show her my appreciation for the work she does here in the office.


By way of background , I must tell you that, upon assuming my office, I searched far and wide for an eligible applicant for the Secretary’s position and settled upon this person :





Considering the unique qualifications this person brought to the position, I feel that $151,899 per year is adequate, but perhaps not, and this brings my dilemma.


Since I have been awarded with the status of True Christian, I felt searching the Good Book would answer any question I have on this subject. And I found it here:


Exodus 20:8

8Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.


There is no doubt in my mind that the Lord Jesus recognizes only one day as worthy of a greeting card – The Sabbeth!


My Brothers and Sisters, DO NOT succumb to the Hallmark Greeting Card Company’s crass commercial attempts to lure you into in to recognizing any of the other “holidays” they promote to suck you into buying one of their cards. And here, I’m talking about their spurious “holiday” cards such as “Secretary’s Day,” “Bosses Day,” or “I Have a Sore on Tallywacker Day.”



Choose your subordinates carefully and give them adequate compensation. That’s all they need.


The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court

"Credo elvem etiam vivere"
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Default Re: Beware, Brothers, Of the Latest Scam - 03-25-2011, 11:32 PM

Wise indeed, Brother Tannor! The Biblical instruction to keep Holy the Sabbath is a simple one to follow. Not like the twisted, perverse money-grubbing greeting card industry with all of their made up "Valentines", "Secretary's Day", and "Little League Pitcher/Catcher Day". Oh, Hallmark CLAIMS to be in the greetings business, but they are really driven by money, twisting words around to suit whatever their purpose that week may be. Thank God I'm a Christian instead!

Stirring The Blood Cocktail Of Christ's Salvation,
Harry Lester


Slathered in the Fresh Hot Blood of the Infant Christ,
-Youth Minister Harry Lester
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Default Re: Beware, Brothers, Of the Latest Scam - 03-25-2011, 11:48 PM

Dear Brother Tannor,

May I compliment you on your choice of assistant? If I'm not mistaken, she was not only an Articles Editor on her edition of the Stanford Law Review, but co-wrote a comment on Constitutional minimalism with Cass Sunstein!

Yours in His Purely Scholarly Appreciation,
BAB
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Default Re: Beware, Brothers, Of the Latest Scam - 03-26-2011, 12:39 AM

This is when people show their true colors. Are you happy with your job and your salary or do you want to beg the person who pays you for just a little bit more? This is in addition to a yearly bonus, I presume.


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Default Re: Beware, Brothers, Of the Latest Scam - 03-26-2011, 04:31 AM

Brother Tannor,While we know the final answer will always be found in the Bible it is also good to look around and see what is happening in other business sectors to temper your decisions on employee interactions, I think it is called seeing what the market will bear. Today's market seems to be trending toward give them what you think they deserve, they are lucky to have a job. This has been shown to work very well with civic employees as demonstrated by the State of Wisconsin.Give the GOP another year and This country will be as strong as we were during the time of the Steel Barons of the late 1800's and nobody can argue there was never a bigger growth spurt for US industry. Now for a special employee, like your secretary you have to pay for that extra special staff because persons with her qualifications could go out tomorrow to any office with no problem at all. Basically I am saying she would fall into the same category as any upper management employee.

When will she be hand washing your car again, it is a show I don't want to miss!


1 Chronicles 16:15
Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.

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Default Re: Beware, Brothers, Of the Latest Scam - 03-26-2011, 07:37 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Benedict A. Davis View Post
Now for a special employee, like your secretary you have to pay for that extra special staff because persons with her qualifications could go out tomorrow to any office with no problem at all. Basically I am saying she would fall into the same category as any upper management employee.
!
Brother Davis, your affirmation of my choice in candidates is greatly appreciated.

During the interview process I always ask of the candidates if they have any special skills beyond the basis position requirements. In the case of Miss Smith, she mentioned her experience in moped maintenance. We immediately retired to the parking lot where she demonstrated her proficiency by 1) fine-tuning my carburetor using only a finger nail file and mascara brush, and 2) polishing my dipstick.

Upon returning to my office, she noticed the fireplace and said she'd haul my ashes whenever I ask.

I, of course, immediately offered her the position.


The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court

"Credo elvem etiam vivere"
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Default Re: Beware, Brothers, Of the Latest Scam - 03-26-2011, 09:52 PM

I suggest buying her a legal pad for secretary's day and let her to your dictation.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Beware, Brothers, Of the Latest Scam - 03-27-2011, 12:12 AM

Sage advice, Brother James, except the "buying" part.

I'll just get one from the supply cabinet - "Your tax dollars at work." Just a little government humor there. I'm sure you're chuckling right now.


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Default Re: Beware, Brothers, Of the Latest Scam - 03-30-2011, 11:02 AM

Secretaries! Back when I worked on K street, I met a secretary who seemed alright, but then she accused me of sexual harrasment! Me, of all people!

I few innocent jokes about me slapping her with my "brutal noodle" and it's the end of the world all the sudden!


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Default Re: Beware, Brothers, Of the Latest Scam - 03-30-2011, 12:50 PM

Sweet Jesus, Brother Tannor, are you blind? Cant you see that woman has a tattoo on her naked foot?
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Default Re: Beware, Brothers, Of the Latest Scam - 03-31-2011, 06:52 AM

Could it be birth mark?
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Default Re: Beware, Brothers, Of the Latest Scam - 03-31-2011, 11:21 AM

^. It looks like a tattoo to me.

(Leviticus 19:28)
Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the Lord.

Oh dear, there is only one simple way to deal with this;

(Matthew 18:8)
Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting fire.


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A woman came up to me the other day, 12/6/2016 and said:
"But Mr. Winner, if GOD loves everyone then why is there so much suffering in the world?"

Because GOD doesn't love everyone. Too many people have this absurd idea in their heads that GOD is all loving.
If he was all loving, then murderers, thieves and homosexuals would be waiting for you in Heaven.

GOD doesn't open his gate to just anyone. Being a True Christian™ is like a Queue Jump ticket at Disney, we are guaranteed a ride with JESUS.
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Default Re: Beware, Brothers, Of the Latest Scam - 03-31-2011, 11:40 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dewitt View Post
Sweet Jesus, Brother Tannor, are you blind? Cant you see that woman has a tattoo on her naked foot?

Not to worry, Brothers. It's my thumb print. It got a bit smeared while I was helping her change out of her cowboy boots into something more sensible.


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Default Re: Beware, Brothers, Of the Latest Scam - 04-04-2011, 11:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Trent Harvey, Jr. View Post
Secretaries! Back when I worked on K street, I met a secretary who seemed alright, but then she accused me of sexual harrasment! Me, of all people!

I few innocent jokes about me slapping her with my "brutal noodle" and it's the end of the world all the sudden!
I met her, and she said the real reason was that at a Christmas party you ordered her to "show us your tits and shake 'em like a baby that won't shut up".

For some reason she considered that a big deal. Something about a paralyzed sister or some nonsense.


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Default Re: Beware, Brothers, Of the Latest Scam - 04-05-2011, 01:37 AM

Brothers I have done extensive research on the supposed tattoo that is in question on the foot of this young lady.What I have found is that it was a tattoo of sorts, a henna drawing. As many are aware henna was one of the only beauty aids mentioned favorably in the Bible. It was mentioned several times in the Songs of Solomon[and we all know how hot and heavy those writings were].
It was known as camphire or kampher and it was used to dye hair,to apply drawings exalting our Lord,or a sweet smelling body oil. an exert from a history of oils in the Bible states the following-
Quote:
Referred to as Camphire in the KJV bible.
"My beloved is to me a cluster of henna blossoms in the vineyards of Engedi.” Song 1:14
Henna comes from the Hebrew root word, kaphar, meaning to cover, make atonement, cleanse, disannul, forgive, be merciful, pardon, and to reconcile. Figuratively, it means a redemption price. Henna was used in biblical days for dyeing and it was red in color. It is with little difficulty that we see the representation of the blood of Yeshua. The fragrance increases our awareness of His sweet atoning covering that blots out the stench of sinful flesh (our old nature).
Brother Tannor This was an exhaustive research project so I hope there will be no issue with her taking today [Monday] off work without the normal need of a doctors note. Thank you in Advance,
YIC


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Default Re: Beware, Brothers, Of the Latest Scam - 04-05-2011, 01:55 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Benedict A. Davis View Post

Brother Tannor This was an exhaustive research project so I hope there will be no issue with her taking today [Monday] off work without the normal need of a doctors note. Thank you in Advance,
YIC
When she called in yesterday to tell me she was taking the day off to compare notes with you, I agreed.

However, when she came to work this morning, she looked a bit disheveled and was smelling vaguely of Old Spice and cheap muscatel.

Should I be concerned?


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Default Re: Beware, Brothers, Of the Latest Scam - 04-06-2011, 12:30 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by HTannor View Post
When she called in yesterday to tell me she was taking the day off to compare notes with you, I agreed.

However, when she came to work this morning, she looked a bit disheveled and was smelling vaguely of Old Spice and cheap muscatel.

Should I be concerned?
Well yes brother I think you should be concerned. I have never, in my life, met another woman who wears so much Old Spice!


1 Chronicles 16:15
Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.

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Default Re: Beware, Brothers, Of the Latest Scam - 04-09-2011, 05:15 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dewitt View Post
Sweet Jesus, Brother Tannor, are you blind? Cant you see that woman has a tattoo on her naked foot?
Well noted Brother James. I think we should have a full scan sans clothing to see where else she may be sporting a tattoo.


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