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Smile McCain administration jobs: post your qualifications here! - 09-23-2008, 02:41 PM

John McCain and Sarah Palin are compassionate conservatives when it comes to hiring. They have compassion for those of us who are less fortunate, qualifications-wise. This means that YOU TOO can become a member of the McCain Administration!

Remember, John McCain's idea of vice-presidential qualifications are that you live close to Russia and built an indoor ice rink for eskimos. As for Sarah Palin's hiring process, here's the NYT:

Quote:
When there was a vacancy at the top of the State Division of Agriculture, she appointed a high school classmate, Franci Havemeister, to the $95,000-a-year directorship. A former real estate agent, Ms. Havemeister cited her childhood love of cows as a qualification for running the roughly $2 million agency
So, what are you waiting for? Start your career in the highest levels of the Federal Government TODAY! Post your qualifications here!


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Default Re: McCain administration jobs: post your qualifications here! - 09-23-2008, 03:05 PM

He owns his own home and does his own repairs, so I nominate W-O for HUD (housing and urban development).

Wait, he's a Belgican. Never mind.

As for me, I'm familiar with most street signs, so I'm nominating myself for head of the DOT (department of transportation).


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Default Re: McCain administration jobs: post your qualifications here! - 09-23-2008, 04:54 PM

I have trees in my yard, so I nominate myself for Secretary of the Interior.


Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!
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Default Re: McCain administration jobs: post your qualifications here! - 09-23-2008, 05:05 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Iron Crotch
I have trees in my yard, so I nominate myself for Secretary of the Interior.
You haven't cut them down yet? Don't you know that trees are the leading cause of forest-fires?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
Wait, he's a Belgican. Never mind.
That's foreign policy - he can be ambassador to the U.N.

I'm still not sure what position I should apply for- as a veteran of a very large bar-brawl, should I be Director of the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs or General of the Joint Chiefs of Staff?



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Default Re: McCain administration jobs: post your qualifications here! - 09-23-2008, 10:18 PM

Because I had done agood job of handling a grease-fire on my stovetop, the Bush administration had me as one of the finalists to head FEMA. However, when it came to horse-judging experience, I was beat out by Mike Brown (11-year Judges and Stewards Commissioner for the International Arabian Horse Association! No shame in being beaten by the best.)

I'm not so ambitious now, I'll settle for Ambassador to the Republic of Alaska.


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Default Re: McCain administration jobs: post your qualifications here! - 09-24-2008, 06:40 AM

Too bad I'm overqualified. Back when I was an intern for the American Institute of Enterprize, I was qualified enough to get a Coalition Provisional Authority position running a province in Iraq with a larger population than Alaska. Good times, those, but today that means I've overqualified to be Vice-President. I'm betting that after Operation Russian Liberation they'll need someone to run Russia.


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Default Re: McCain administration jobs: post your qualifications here! - 09-24-2008, 12:37 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Trent Harvey, Jr. View Post
Too bad I'm overqualified. Back when I was an intern for the American Institute of Enterprize, I was qualified enough to get a Coalition Provisional Authority position running a province in Iraq with a larger population than Alaska. Good times, those, but today that means I've overqualified to be Vice-President. I'm betting that after Operation Russian Liberation they'll need someone to run Russia.
Christians are prohibited to gamble.


In any case,McWar and Palin would bring forth WW3,if they were to win this election.
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Default Re: McCain administration jobs: post your qualifications here! - 09-24-2008, 01:23 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Osambo 08 View Post
Christians are prohibited to gamble.
Prove it. Chapter and verse, boy.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: McCain administration jobs: post your qualifications here! - 09-24-2008, 01:35 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Prove it. Chapter and verse, boy.
It's common knowledge.Using God's resources for egotistic goals is a sin.The money could be used for offering.Aren't I right?
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Default Re: McCain administration jobs: post your qualifications here! - 09-24-2008, 01:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Osambo 08 View Post
It's common knowledge.Using God's resources for egotistic goals is a sin.The money could be used for offering.Aren't I right?
What you nigras call "common knowledge" is nothing but gibberish and ooga booga talk. Quote the Bible or admit you`re a liar, boy! We sure aren`t going to take your word for what God wants!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: McCain administration jobs: post your qualifications here! - 09-24-2008, 01:45 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
What you nigras call "common knowledge" is nothing but gibberish and ooga booga talk. Quote the Bible or admit you`re a liar, boy! We sure aren`t going to take your word for what God wants!
ooga booga r u fo realz mayne? ur killin me wit da shit

It doesn't precisely condemn it ,however it does say not to succumb to the love of money/
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Default Re: McCain administration jobs: post your qualifications here! - 09-24-2008, 01:47 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Osambo 08 View Post
ooga booga r u fo realz mayne? ur killin me wit da shit

It doesn't precisely condemn it ,however it does say not to succumb to the love of money/
Quote the KJV scripture, or admit you are a liar, boy.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: McCain administration jobs: post your qualifications here! - 09-24-2008, 01:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Quote the KJV scripture, or admit you are a liar, boy.
Yeah sure.

Quote:
For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.
Quote:
Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.
Quote:
Wealth gotten by vanity shall be diminished: but he that gathereth by labour shall increase.
Quote:
He that loveth silver shall not be satisfied with silver; nor he that loveth abundance with increase: this is also vanity.
I supported my words with the Bible this time
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Default Re: McCain administration jobs: post your qualifications here! - 09-24-2008, 01:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Osambo 08 View Post
Yeah sure.









I supported my words with the Bible this time
But you didn`t quote the chapter and verse. You screwed up again boy! How lazy can you get?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: McCain administration jobs: post your qualifications here! - 09-24-2008, 02:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
But you didn`t quote the chapter and verse. You screwed up again boy! How lazy can you get?
Hey! One step at a time,Easy Kyle! .I was assuming that you knew the Bible inside and out.



I'm not a boy!
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Default Re: McCain administration jobs: post your qualifications here! - 09-24-2008, 03:21 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Osambo 08 View Post
[...]I'm not a boy!
You bear a distinct resemblance to my faithful retainer, "Boy".





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Default Re: McCain administration jobs: post your qualifications here! - 09-24-2008, 05:49 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Osambo 08 View Post
Christians are prohibited to gamble.
Not always. For example, when Jonah and shipmates were caught in a hurricane, they drew lots to find out who God hated, and who to throw overboard.

Quote:
Jonah 1 shows us how to stop hurricanes:

4 Then the LORD sent a great wind on the sea, and such a violent storm arose that the ship threatened to break up. 5 All the sailors were afraid and each cried out to his own god. And they threw the cargo into the sea to lighten the ship.
But Jonah had gone below deck, where he lay down and fell into a deep sleep. 6 The captain went to him and said, "How can you sleep? Get up and call on your god! Maybe he will take notice of us, and we will not perish."
7 Then the sailors said to each other, "Come, let us cast lots to find out who is responsible for this calamity." They cast lots and the lot fell on Jonah. (casting lots always works when you need to discover the truth. Who needs science?)
8 So they asked him, "Tell us, who is responsible for making all this trouble for us? What do you do? Where do you come from? What is your country? From what people are you?"
9 He answered, "I am a Hebrew and I worship the LORD, the God of heaven, who made the sea and the land."
10 This terrified them and they asked, "What have you done?" (They knew he was running away from the LORD, because he had already told them so.)
11 The sea was getting rougher and rougher. So they asked him, "What should we do to you to make the sea calm down for us?"
12 "Pick me up and throw me into the sea," he replied, "and it will become calm. I know that it is my fault that this great storm has come upon you." 13 Instead, the men did their best to row back to land. But they could not, for the sea grew even wilder than before. 14 Then they cried to the LORD, "O LORD, please do not let us die for taking this man's life. Do not hold us accountable for killing an innocent man, for you, O LORD, have done as you pleased." 15 Then they took Jonah and threw him overboard, and the raging sea grew calm.


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Default Re: McCain administration jobs: post your qualifications here! - 09-24-2008, 05:55 PM

I suppose I am overqualified for Homeland Security or the FBI. Drat.

I have owned several wood chippers. That qualifies me for the Department of Forestry.



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Default Re: McCain administration jobs: post your qualifications here! - 09-24-2008, 05:59 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Trent Harvey, Jr. View Post
Too bad I'm overqualified. Back when I was an intern for the American Institute of Enterprize, I was qualified enough to get a Coalition Provisional Authority position running a province in Iraq with a larger population than Alaska. Good times, those, but today that means I've overqualified to be Vice-President. I'm betting that after Operation Russian Liberation they'll need someone to run Russia.
My heart bleeds for you brother. The blame falls squarely on the elitist liberals, who like to bitch & moan about "qualifications" and "education", when we all know that it's a load of hooey. Now, with all the time you've invested in 'experience', you have no ability to lead a simple multi-billion dollar organization or government agency. I will talk to Pastor Zeke soon so that he can put in a good word with his relatives at the CIA, and soon enough you will be the new leader of Russia! I hear you used to like a good stiff vodka drink back when you were an intern, so that's all the qualifications I need to hear !


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Default Re: McCain administration jobs: post your qualifications here! - 09-24-2008, 06:06 PM

Everyone knows that "education" and "qualifications" and "experience" and "basic ability to use reason and fact-based judgments in the decision-making process" are LIEberal codewords for Affirmative Action.
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