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Smile Young Men: Earn $500/hr + Tips for Being Pastors' Private Assistants - 09-16-2011, 08:41 PM

Are you a young man age 18-24? In good shape and can handle a work load? If so, you may have the opportunity to become a private assistant for one of our pastors. Our pastors often go on vacation and require assistance. Your job duties will include lifting and carrying luggage, caddying for golfing rounds, shopping and carrying heavy bags from luxury stores, and various other errands. You will personally accompany our pastors on their vacations and outings, helping them out as seen fit. You will even be accommodated in the same five-star rooms as our pastors. You will be close by and ready to offer assistance whenever they so desire.

Pay starts at a very lucrative $500 an hour, including generous tips for putting a little extra into your work. Our own Pastor Ezekiel has been known to reward the most faithful and hard-working employees with brand new Escalades and Corvettes! But, it takes a special type of guy for that job...

As mentioned, you must be between the ages of 18-24 and in excellent shape. You must have the muscles to endure such strenuous work. Applicants will submit a full body photo (shirtless), so we can see if you are tough enough to handle the job. You must also be circumcised, as per Genesis 17:10-14. You must have a positive attitude and be willing to do anything a pastor asks of you. A clean medical record is required for employment.

To submit an application, email your resume and shirtless photo to revjimosborne@gmail.com or pastorezekiel@landoverbaptist.net

Are you up for it?



Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.

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Default Re: Young Men: Earn $500/hr + Tips for Being Pastors' Private Assistants - 09-17-2011, 05:09 AM

I'm always in need of a nubile young man to help out.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Young Men: Earn $500/hr + Tips for Being Pastors' Private Assistants - 11-21-2011, 04:31 PM

Rev. Osborne, I was informed that we also must have ironclad non-disclosure agreements signed by every applicant. As you know, each of these young men will be exposed to the inner circle of the Church. The will be closer to God than they could ever imagine adn as such, must be willing to retain the privacy and dignity of a Pastor. I have little doubt the mere idea of a Pastor, totally drained after an all night laying of hands can be quite the sight.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Young Men: Earn $500/hr + Tips for Being Pastors' Private Assistants - 11-22-2011, 09:06 PM

Its' a real shame im' no longer 18 two 24 cause im' real strong and when Pastor takes me on trips i can carry all of his luggage including the big heavy case with the locks that he says he uses for special pastor stuff and i take real good care too do what ever he wants and he says im' real good at it to.
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Default Re: Young Men: Earn $500/hr + Tips for Being Pastors' Private Assistants - 11-22-2011, 09:29 PM

Any wiggle room on the age thing? I have a 15 year old half eskimo son in excellent physical shape. He would surely benefit from one on one instruction from a Godly Pastor.
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