[Shirlee Phelps-Dodge]

Lord knows all my friends here at Landover have been askin' after me left and right. People, I been busy!

I was looking through Becky Somers' "Kristian Kids" bookstore a couple of months back, flipped through every single book of Bible stories I could find. Not a one was honest to the Bible!

Well, I gave Miss Becky what for, you can best believe! And then I figured, who knows kids better than Shirlee? And who knows the Bible better than Shirlee? Not NOBODY, that's who!

I been busy. Writing. Here's the first sample, just for you all to taste:

A long time ago — four THOUSAND years, more than half the whole age of the Earth! — there lived a man named Noah. This story is told in the book of Genesis, chapters 5 through 8.

Now, Noah was a very good man; the Bible says he was just, and that he was perfect. He followed every rule God made, not just the ones he liked!

Do you know people who say they are Christian, but only follow some of the rules God gave us in the Bible?

Do you know anyone (other than your Pastor) who works on Sundays? That breaks one of God’s rules!

Do you know any people who wishes they had their neighbor’s house, or car, or pretty wife? That’s breaking one of God’s rules, too!

Breaking one of God’s rules is called sinning. God hates people who sin! The story of Noah and the Ark will tell us just how much He hates them!

Even though God had decided by Noah’s time that people should only live to be 120 years old (Gen. 6:3), He liked Noah a lot and let him live to be much older.

When he was 500 years old (Gen. 5:32), Noah had three sons. He named them Shem, Ham, and Japheth.

About that time, God looked around the Earth, and saw that there was all sorts of wickedness and sin. People had, in the 2,000 years since Creation, forgotten or started ignoring His rules. There was miscenegation going on — that’s the grownup term for interracial marriage. Giants were marrying normal humans (Gen. 6:4), instead of keeping to their own kind. God hates that!

Can you think of any marriages God would hate today? Why would He hate them? Do you know any Presidents who are products of such marriages?

All the people were thinking evil thoughts all the time. So, God decided to kill them all.

He said, “Noah, I’m sick of all these people who ignore Me. I’m sorry I created people at all, because they won’t follow My rules! I’m going to kill them all, and all the animals and birds and everything else, too.”

Noah didn’t say anything.

God continued talking, telling Noah, “Build a big boat. We’ll call it an Ark. Then take two of every animal on that boat with you, or seven of animals that I’ve told you are clean animals. Only two of the unclean animals, like pigs and crabs. (I don’t like them much, but they might be useful someday.) You can bring your family with you. But I’m going to kill all the other people, and all the animals not on your boat with you.”

Well, Noah still didn’t say anything, but he did what God said. God knew Noah would do what He said, because Noah was perfect and followed all of God’s rules, even if he didn’t like what God told him to do.

What would you say if God told you He was going to kill everyone you know? Would you warn everybody, or just do what He said and build the Ark?

Lots of people who tell the story of Noah say that he spent 100 years telling people God was going to destroy everyone on the Earth, and that they all laughed at him. Some even say Noah offered to take them on board, in violation of God’s commands. This is found nowhere in the Bible. People made it up!

Even if people had believed Noah, God’s covenant was with Noah. He had already decided to kill everyone but Noah and his family.

Do you follow all of God’s rules? Would you have been on Noah’s boat?

God gave Noah quite a while to build this really big boat (the Ark). The story starts when Noah was 500, remember. But the Bible says that the rains came when Noah was 600! (Gen. 7:6) Noah spent 100 years building the Ark. His sons, then, were 100 years old when they went onto the Ark.

God even shut the door for them and locked them in, to make sure they’d stay nice and dry. (Gen, 7:16)

Then, God made it rain. He made it rain for forty days, and for forty nights. That’s a long time! That’s more than a month of solid heavy downpour! It was like a big hurricane, like Katrina in New Orleans, only instead of being over in a day, it went on for forty!

As the waters rose, I bet all Noah’s neighbors who had laughed at the crazy old man who spent 100 years building a giant boat were beating on it, trying to get in. Noah didn’t let them in, though. God hadn’t told him to let his friends in, just his family. And God had locked the door anyway.

After the forty days it took to flood the Earth, God waited another 150 days. It took over seven whole months from when the rains started to when the boat rested on Mount Ararat, a tall mountain. I bet it just looked like a tiny island then, though!

Too bad Noah wasn’t in modern-day Nepal; he might have stopped being seasick earlier. Mount Everest is twice as tall as Mount Ararat. But, Mount Ararat is the tallest mountain in Turkey, and that’s where God wanted Noah to set down.

I’m pretty sure it was crowded and stinky in Noah’s boat, with two or seven of every creature. He must have locked lions in stalls to keep them from eating the lambs, and the baby dinosaurs probably had big cages too. Noah had all kinds of food to last over seven months! And think of the cleanup after all those animals with no way to go outside!

But what do you think it was like for all the people not in Noah’s boat? Let’s think about them for a minute.

People who lived by the ocean probably got into boats, them and their children and their wives, pregnant with pre-born children who hadn’t had a chance to defy God yet. But God capsized those boats, or let the people in them starve to death over the seven and a half months.

What do you think the people on those boats, who didn’t have months of supplies stored up, ate? Do you think they ate each other, or their children? Would your Mommy or Daddy eat you?

Are you sure?

The people who didn’t have boats must have climbed trees and hills, then sat helplessly watching as the water rose. I bet that was scary! They probably tied logs together to try to make rafts, then clung to them hoping to survive, finally getting too tired to stay awake but knowing they and their little babies would die if they fell asleep.

All the animals of the world died, too. Birds flew, landing on whatever they could find, until everything was waterlogged and sank. Then, the birds drowned, just like all the zebras, and dinosaurs, and lions, and chickens, and bunny rabbits. God killed them all, because the people didn’t follow His rules.

Don’t you feel like following God’s rules now? Are you worried that God will drown you if you break His rules?

Well, don’t worry about that! God promised not to!



That’s right, when Noah got out of the ark, he took the seventh creature from all the clean animals and birds, and killed it, and burned it on an altar for God. God liked the smell of the burning flesh, and was happy and said:

“I will not again curse the ground any more for man’s sake; for the imagination of man’s heart is evil from his youth; neither will I again smite any more every thing living, as I have done.” (Gen. 8:20-22)

That’s right, God will never destroy all life on Earth again! Only select locations, as you’ll see in the story of Lot.

After this, Noah and his sons, and their wives, were the only people left on Earth. They had to repopulate the planet. That’s why it’s OK to marry your first cousin, if your state or country follows God’s rules. States where you can’t marry your first cousin are run by people who hate God.

Do the people running your state or country love God? If you’re in the United States, you can look here to find out!

Here are some things to talk about with your friends!

Is God forgiving of all sin, like some Pastors say, or does He punish people for breaking even one of His rules?

Why did God kill off the pre-born babies, and little kids, and animals, in order to punish the people who broke His rules? How many reasons can you think of?

God was sad that He made people, because they wouldn’t obey Him. So, He killed all the people, even the babies, and all the animals and birds and dinosaurs, too. But then after, He said that He realized that people were evil from their youth anyway. So . . .

If people are God’s creation, and they’re evil from childhood, doesn’t that mean He made people to be evil? Why would He be mad about it, if they turned out the way He made them?

God planned the Flood for 100 years, giving Noah all that time to build the Ark. Why did God secretly tell Noah His plans and let all the people keep on breaking His rules for a whole century, instead of just telling the people to stop breaking His rules? What reasons can you think of?

I sure hope you like this story and the questions I gave you to think about. I'm hoping to get a book together and published for Sunday School classes.

What do y'all think?

[Nobar King]

I always wondered why Noah and his sons didn't get scurvy on the Ark. Also, do animals get scurvy or not?

[David Goldman]

Originally Posted by Nobar King

I always wondered why Noah and his sons didn't get scurvy on the Ark. Also, do animals get scurvy or not?

Some seaweed contains a lot of Vitamin C.

Most animals don't get scurvy because they can synthesize their own Vitamin C. But Primates and guinea pigs are exceptions to this.

[JennyD]

Maybe they brought a lot of citrus with them.

[TheLordSavedMe]

So, if I was alive back then, and Noah said "Hey Tammi, God is going to kill you for being wicked."

And even if I said "I'm not wicked Noah, can I have a ride on your boat? I'll feed the animals or whatever you need me to do. I love God!" God would just drown me anyways? Is that the way God ran things back then? If it is, I'm glad I wasn't alive then.

I'm also glad I didn't live way back then because there were no showers. That must have been soooo gross. I hate it when I have to go with no shower for a few days when I go camping or something. I get to feeling all disgusting and stinky, even though I don't stink too bad, I just feel gross is all.

Tammi

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Originally Posted by TheLordSavedMe

So, if I was alive back then, and Noah said "Hey Tammi, God is going to kill you for being wicked."

And even if I said "I'm not wicked Noah, can I have a ride on your boat? I'll feed the animals or whatever you need me to do. I love God!" God would just drown me anyways? Is that the way God ran things back then? If it is, I'm glad I wasn't alive then.

God wouldn't have plotted for 100 years to drown you if you weren't wicked, Tammi!

Here's proof it happened!

[Torpidai]

"God wouldn't have plotted for 100 years to drown you if you weren't wicked, Tammi!"

Strange isn't it, how the omnipotent one, made all in 6 days, took just one day rest yet took 100 years to work out how to install a big shower.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Originally Posted by TheLordSavedMe

So, if I was alive back then, and Noah said "Hey Tammi, God is going to kill you for being wicked."

And even if I said "I'm not wicked Noah, can I have a ride on your boat?

It is not for you to question The Lord's judgment nor is it for Noah to override it.

You have a strange idea of The Lord of Hosts. You need to read a Bible (KJV1611)

Originally Posted by Torpidai

"God wouldn't have plotted for 100 years to drown you if you weren't wicked, Tammi!"

You have Scripture to back that claim, Miss?

Strange isn't it, how the omnipotent one, made all in 6 days, took just one day rest yet took 100 years to work out how to install a big shower.

No, not at all. He does as He sees fit. It is not your place to question Him.

[Torpidai]

<i>No, not at all. He does as He sees fit. It is not your place to question Him. </i>

I'm sure I was not questionning God, but as you state "He does as He sees fit. It is not your place to question Him.", and as I've already hadone slapped wrist here, I'll ask.....

Who's place exactly is it to question "Him" (I was actualy of the belief God was a "Her", (So quick to get in on the organisation, so many mistakes, so long to fix the errors, so cryptic etc etc etc...) but if I'm wrong yet again.

I can only assume then that "God" Him/Herself, would approve of a firmer dictatorial state than the one in which we presently live? Shouldn't we all move to Zimbabwe then to give him/her his/her wish?

before I get slapped with another pennance/infraction, I'm new to this "Faith thing", I'm just "Browsing" if you will, asking questions to see if I'd be better off with a "real church" or a "Virtual church".

Thank you for your patience and understanding.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Originally Posted by Torpidai

Who's place exactly is it to question "Him" (I was actualy of the belief God was a "Her", (So quick to get in on the organisation, so many mistakes, so long to fix the errors, so cryptic etc etc etc...) but if I'm wrong yet again.

Who says that it is anyone's place at all?

Isaiah 45:5: I [am] the LORD, and [there is] none else, [there is] no God beside me: I girded thee, though thou hast not known me:

Job 9:12: Behold, he taketh away, who can hinder him? who will say unto him, What doest thou?

By the way, God is not a Her:

Exodus 15:3: The LORD [is] a man of war: the LORD [is] his name.

I can only assume then that "God" Him/Herself, would approve of a firmer dictatorial state than the one in which we presently live? Shouldn't we all move to Zimbabwe then to give him/her his/her wish?

Whatever system of government is, is of God:

Romans 13:1: Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.

[eliot mayfield]

Now i know somebody is going to think, "Hmm if Noah's boat was so high up in the air, why didn't they get altitude sickness? I mean if they were higher than the tops of the tallest mountains, there must have been little oxygen."

Because, They weren't high up in the air, they were at sea level!