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Reload this Page Foolproof Plan to Defeat Buttigieg
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flag Foolproof Plan to Defeat Buttigieg - 07-02-2019, 03:36 PM

No self-respecting True Christian™ can stomach the thought of a queer pansy gay homer changing the White House to the Rainbow Room. As a staunch hetero male I have fought long and very hard against homers in many situations, with the goal of conquering as many as I can before the Lord returns to gather us on His Fabulous Horsey which I will personally attend to (orally).


I have a plan that I think will work. Let's inundate the Buttigieg campaign with money. More than he can imagine would ever be donated in three lifetimes! He will spend the money on boy toys and dresses for his "husband" instead of spending it on campaign ads and the expenses incurred while traveling to meet the masses that need to hear him speak on the issues. Let's face it: the only issue he cares about is ensuring his "marriage" to his "husband" is not threatened by overturning it in the Supreme Court. Homers are too stupid to think in practical ways. I have been around thousands of them so I know this. I think Dr. Niles would agree that all he can do is keep his youthful, clean-limbed nephew locked away lest Mayor Pete locates and has his way with him while poor Laurence watches in horror. So: are YOU willing to defeat the queer in the 2020 election? Do YOU want to be the reason Dr. Niles has to worry every time he takes his nephew swimming, biking, hiking, or dancing? Well, do you?


You may say, "But, BrotherLarry, you CAN NOT TRUST A FAG!" And you know what? You're right. If we send millions to his campaign, he will have some straight person figure out our plot to overthrow him and then where would we be? With a fag gay homer as president and his "husband" as First Gentleman. Disgusting. That's why I have come up with a sure-fire scheme bound to work beautifully. Instead of donating directly to him, send the money to ME. YES! Send it to me, and I'll make sure it goes everywhere but to his campaign! The dishonesty inherent in most gaywise folks is tough to circumvent, but I know a thing or three about defeating dishonesty since I used to be a papist and they're all about lies and deceit (and homers). IT SIMPLY CANNOT FAIL if you cooperate fully. Here's the important part: I can NOT accept personal checks. Instead, I will PM you a special account number which you can use discreetly to donate to Mayor Pete without his ever knowing about it. Imagine the look on his face when suddently he raises hundreds of millions if not billions within just a few days. I would love to be a fly on the wall of his bedroom. (No, really - I would.)


The confusion will disrupt his campaign and he will have no choice but to remove himself from consideration. IMPORTANT: This can't wait until the first primary elections. The sooner you donate, the quicker he'll drop out! Oh, how we'll laugh when an honorable, straight, God-sent President is re-elected in 2020. Oh, how we'll party when the fags are sent back into the closet. It's like my ex-roommate used to say, "Larry, I'm afraid we're headed back to the closet if a Republican wins." And I would scowl and say, "Hey, what's this WE business?" And I would lock the bedroom door.


Come on, fellow Republican True Christians™ of means. I'm donating one million from my trust fund TODAY. What will YOU give for JESUS to win in 2020 by re-electing Donald?


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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