HOME WELCOME! FORUMS Register FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read
Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum
Reload this Page Ask Aunt Annie: My hunk of a Cousin
Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Johny Joe Hold's Avatar
Johny Joe Hold Johny Joe Hold is offline
Mayor of Freehold
 

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Caucasian TC Bravery Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once One Year/1000 posts Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mayor True Republican Teabag Patriot Ex-liberal Saved 1 Year Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Eats the Most Pork Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Mission to Korea Stamp of Approval Guns ablazin' Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel BFF of Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 5 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Sons of Liberty Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor

 
Posts: 12,167
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Ask Aunt Annie: My hunk of a Cousin - 09-09-2020, 02:46 PM
Wouldn't you know it, just when I thought we might get a break from Aunt Annie she came by with this one.

Dear Aunt Annie: A while ago I went through a divorce. It was difficult. While I was recovering I got a nice note from someone I have known since childhood. It was so sweet. I called him and now we are in love and talking marriage. Our relatives are angry. He is a first cousin. What do you think? Signed, Close Family

Dear Close--My sweetie, how nice it is to hear from a girl having fun in her own neighborhood. I took a look at my Bible to see what God had to say about a girl marrying her cousin. Nothing. Go for it. Let's remember this about God. He put that story in the Bible of Lot's daughters enjoying bang-bang with their old man. God wants us girls to have some fun.

Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Ezekiel Bathfire's Avatar
Ezekiel Bathfire Ezekiel Bathfire is offline
Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
Christ's Rottweiler
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Christian Love Real American™ Tithing Manager Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Scientist™ Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Senior Pastor Teabag Patriot TC Bravery Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Ex-Brit Eats the Most Pork True Republican Ex-eurotrash Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Nuts for JESUS! Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Mower Donald Trump 2016! Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Bathfire Crown of Life Alternative Facts Probing for Jesus 20,000 posts Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 22,739
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Ask Aunt Annie: My hunk of a Cousin - 09-09-2020, 04:21 PM
Ti:3:1: Put them in mind to be subject to principalities and powers, to obey magistrates, to be ready to every good work,

To this end, your problem can be solved geographically:


This is a map of where it is, and is not, legal to marry your first cousin:
Name: religioncous.jpg Views: 140 Size: 79.8 KB

This is a map of the religious density in the USA. This is important as you will want your many children brought up as fervent believers and to live in the Fear of God'

Name: relgion.jpg Views: 102 Size: 75.0 KB



And this map is a result of bringing both of those maps together.


Name: ReligiousMix.jpg Views: 152 Size: 64.9 KB

I suggest you contact some realtors...




“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Dr. Anthony J. Toole's Avatar
Dr. Anthony J. Toole Dr. Anthony J. Toole is offline
An old soul
True Christian™

Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Real American™ Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Pro-Life Donald Trump 2016! Mission to Messico Touched by Jesus Christian Love Protected by JESUS Teabag Patriot Alternative Facts TC Bravery True Christian Caucasian True Scientist™ Doctor Get Behind Me Doctor - NO TEAM FORTRESS! True Christian™ Real American™ True Republican BFF of Jesus Ex-eurotrash True Christian™ Protected by JESUS Friend of Jesus Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD The Lord’s Witness Wound Persecuted Prayer Warrior Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Ex-liberal QAnon Storm Chaser Tool of God Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor Sweet Toole Verified by Jesus Gold Tither Eats the Most Pork Saved 10 Years Platinum Tither Kirk Cameron Fan Club Stamp of Approval Crown of Glory

 
Posts: 5,231
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: USA-UK-France (traveling)
Dr. Anthony J. Toole will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Anthony J. Toole will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Anthony J. Toole will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Anthony J. Toole will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Anthony J. Toole will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Anthony J. Toole will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Anthony J. Toole will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Anthony J. Toole will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Anthony J. Toole will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Anthony J. Toole will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Anthony J. Toole will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Ask Aunt Annie: My hunk of a Cousin - 09-09-2020, 07:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
This map explains why all the inbred looney tunes seem to come from California. Is anything illegal there?

This must be a typical day for Californians:
1) Wake up (legal)
2) Take drugs (legal)
3) Have sex with cousin (legal)
4) Protest on the streets (legal)
5) Turn right on red (legal)
6) Hate on President Trump (legal)
7) Defend America from terrorists (illegal)

Draft Freehold, Iowa Mayor
Johny Joe Hold
for President in 2024
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
WWJDnow's Avatar
WWJDnow WWJDnow is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

True Christian™ Christian Love 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mission to Australia Saved 1 Year Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once One Year/1000 posts Porn Resistant Pro-Life Bronze Tither Eats the Most Pork Super Soaker Baptism Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus 2015 Witch Hunt Award Trump of GOD Asked questions later Persecuted Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Stamp of Approval Hands Off BFF of Jesus Polling for Christ Anti-Biden WWJD

 
Posts: 6,764
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry, Redding, CA
WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Ask Aunt Annie: My hunk of a Cousin - 09-09-2020, 08:35 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole View Post
This map explains why all the inbred looney tunes seem to come from California. Is anything illegal there?
Walking down the street without a mask. In California, they only like freedom when it is sinful. Drugs? No problem. Oral sex? Go right ahead. But praying in schools? Prison time.

Draft Freehold, Iowa Mayor
Johny Joe Hold
for Vice President in 2024
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

« Previous Thread | Next Thread »
Thread Tools
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved

Send an email to the Senior Pastor - Landover Baptist Church - Top