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Question Sewing Up My Wife's Vagina - 12-11-2014, 01:35 AM

Brothers in Christ,

As some of you know by now, Rebekah and I have been trying unsuccessfully over the last two years to have another son. We even turned to secular doctors at one point, since my wife claimed that's what the Holy Spirit had told her that's what we needed to do. More recently, the Holy Spirit spoke to me while I was deep in prayer, telling my that my wife's ovaries have pretty much dried up like raisins. So it looks like God has decided that five sons is enough. Rebekah and I thought differently for a while, but when we can't understand His ways, we may yet rejoice in His promises.

Since we will no longer be bringing new Soldiers for Christ into the world, we clearly no longer have any use for genitalia. At best, it just gets in the way. But far too often, they lead people into temptation. Salvation is serious business, and neither of us are willing to jeopardize our place praising and grovelling at the feet of the LORD for all eternity, singing Him praise songs and hosanas.

Matthew 18:7-9
Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!
Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting fire.
And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire.

In my case, it's fairly straightforward and should satisfy all the requirements of Matthew 19:12. Dr. Jones has agreed to perform the procedure, and I should be back up and moving around in time for worship services the following Sunday, assuming the stitches hold up.

However, it sounds like there are more risks involved with sewing my wife's vagina up once and for all. Dr. Jones thinks that it would go rancid and declined to perform the procedure. While it is certainly a risk, I'm more than willing to pay for antibiotics whenever she has a flair-up, and besides, can you really let something trivial like septic shock stand in the way of a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to increase unto Holiness and prove to the LORD how much we are willing to go through to please Him?

Should we maybe just scoop the whole apparatus out instead of just sealing it off? Would she still be able to walk? Is there some kind of medical-grade cement we could use instead? What about putting some kind of torch on a tube with a little camera up there and just cauterizing the whole thing from the inside out? Would it be safe to sew her vagina shut then?

Hopefully when we figure this all out, I can write a journal article about it so that the practice can become more widespread among Christian women who are no longer able to have children and, therefore, have no need for their vaginas.



II Thessalonians 1:7-9
And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power



The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony
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Default Re: Sewing Up My Wife's Vagina - 12-11-2014, 02:35 AM

It possibly depends somewhat on whether she still need to spend some time each month in the menstra hut. If that is one or two years behind her, the procedure should be fairly straight forward. But if she's still expelling the demons on a monthly basis, she'll need what the secularists call a hysterectomy performed beforehand.


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Default Re: Sewing Up My Wife's Vagina - 12-11-2014, 03:33 AM

Why not a hysterectomy for her and a bilateral orchiectomy for you? You'll need testosterone replacement though... man juice.....
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Default Re: Sewing Up My Wife's Vagina - 12-11-2014, 04:16 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jedediah View Post
Brothers in Christ,

As some of you know by now, Rebekah and I have been trying unsuccessfully over the last two years to have another son. We even turned to secular doctors at one point, since my wife claimed that's what the Holy Spirit had told her that's what we needed to do. More recently, the Holy Spirit spoke to me while I was deep in prayer, telling my that my wife's ovaries have pretty much dried up like raisins. So it looks like God has decided that five sons is enough. Rebekah and I thought differently for a while, but when we can't understand His ways, we may yet rejoice in His promises.

Since we will no longer be bringing new Soldiers for Christ into the world, we clearly no longer have any use for genitalia. At best, it just gets in the way. But far too often, they lead people into temptation. Salvation is serious business, and neither of us are willing to jeopardize our place praising and grovelling at the feet of the LORD for all eternity, singing Him praise songs and hosanas.

Matthew 18:7-9
Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!
Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting fire.
And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire.

In my case, it's fairly straightforward and should satisfy all the requirements of Matthew 19:12. Dr. Jones has agreed to perform the procedure, and I should be back up and moving around in time for worship services the following Sunday, assuming the stitches hold up.

However, it sounds like there are more risks involved with sewing my wife's vagina up once and for all. Dr. Jones thinks that it would go rancid and declined to perform the procedure. While it is certainly a risk, I'm more than willing to pay for antibiotics whenever she has a flair-up, and besides, can you really let something trivial like septic shock stand in the way of a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to increase unto Holiness and prove to the LORD how much we are willing to go through to please Him?

Should we maybe just scoop the whole apparatus out instead of just sealing it off? Would she still be able to walk? Is there some kind of medical-grade cement we could use instead? What about putting some kind of torch on a tube with a little camera up there and just cauterizing the whole thing from the inside out? Would it be safe to sew her vagina shut then?

Hopefully when we figure this all out, I can write a journal article about it so that the practice can become more widespread among Christian women who are no longer able to have children and, therefore, have no need for their vaginas.

Brother, have you considered a skin-graft? Perhaps if the good doctor could reroute her urethra (pardon my language) so that it can drain out through her rectum, you could seal the nightmare abyss totally and permanently...kind of like welding shut a sewer-hole cover.

Come to think of it, why not kill two birds with one stone and have a graft placed over her mouth as well...my wife was successfully fed through the nose for several months when she had her jaw wired shut, on account of me breaking it with a well placed roundhouse kick, so I don't see why your helpmeet couldn't subsist for years, taking her meals thusly.
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Default Re: Sewing Up My Wife's Vagina - 12-12-2014, 06:19 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jedediah View Post
Brothers in Christ,

As some of you know by now, Rebekah and I have been trying unsuccessfully over the last two years to have another son. We even turned to secular doctors at one point, since my wife claimed that's what the Holy Spirit had told her that's what we needed to do. More recently, the Holy Spirit spoke to me while I was deep in prayer, telling my that my wife's ovaries have pretty much dried up like raisins. So it looks like God has decided that five sons is enough. Rebekah and I thought differently for a while, but when we can't understand His ways, we may yet rejoice in His promises.

Since we will no longer be bringing new Soldiers for Christ into the world, we clearly no longer have any use for genitalia. At best, it just gets in the way. But far too often, they lead people into temptation. Salvation is serious business, and neither of us are willing to jeopardize our place praising and grovelling at the feet of the LORD for all eternity, singing Him praise songs and hosanas.

Matthew 18:7-9
Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!
Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting fire.
And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire.

In my case, it's fairly straightforward and should satisfy all the requirements of Matthew 19:12. Dr. Jones has agreed to perform the procedure, and I should be back up and moving around in time for worship services the following Sunday, assuming the stitches hold up.

However, it sounds like there are more risks involved with sewing my wife's vagina up once and for all. Dr. Jones thinks that it would go rancid and declined to perform the procedure. While it is certainly a risk, I'm more than willing to pay for antibiotics whenever she has a flair-up, and besides, can you really let something trivial like septic shock stand in the way of a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to increase unto Holiness and prove to the LORD how much we are willing to go through to please Him?

Should we maybe just scoop the whole apparatus out instead of just sealing it off? Would she still be able to walk? Is there some kind of medical-grade cement we could use instead? What about putting some kind of torch on a tube with a little camera up there and just cauterizing the whole thing from the inside out? Would it be safe to sew her vagina shut then?

Hopefully when we figure this all out, I can write a journal article about it so that the practice can become more widespread among Christian women who are no longer able to have children and, therefore, have no need for their vaginas.

Dear Brother Jedediah, if I may make a suggestion, I think that you should consider finding a doctor willing to perform infibulation on your wife, or even both of you. Just tell your doctor you want the type III for your wife. I hear they have specialists doing it in Africa and the Middle East.
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Default Re: Sewing Up My Wife's Vagina - 12-13-2014, 12:36 AM

Mr. Johnson here;

While a good idea to prevent against temptation, remember the Lord works mighty miracles. "And Abraham was an hundred years old, when his son Isaac was born unto him.6 And Sarah said, God hath made me to laugh, so that all that hear will laugh with me.7 And she said, Who would have said unto Abraham, that Sarah should have given children suck? for I have born him a son in his old age." Genesis 21:5-7

Yours in Christ,
Mr. Mark Johnson


"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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Default Re: Sewing Up My Wife's Vagina - 12-13-2014, 03:52 AM

These procedures could get expensive quickly...maybe you could save a few bucks and just pray the vagina away?
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Default Re: Sewing Up My Wife's Vagina - 12-13-2014, 04:27 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Witch Hammer View Post
These procedures could get expensive quickly...maybe you could save a few bucks and just pray the vagina away?
That is a thought, and I will add it to my prayer list. Saving money on the vagina removal would free up more funds for tithes, after all, so it's in the LORD's interest as well.

While I'm at it, I'm going to pray for the clitorises of all women everywhere to shrivel up and fall off. They don't need those things. Nothing makes me angrier than when my wife actually enjoys it when I'm busy getting her pregnant. Not that it's been an issue. She just kind of lays there humming to herself and staring blankly at the ceiling with a ten-mile stare, asking "are you done doing your thing yet?" every so often while I'm praying out loud and running out of breath. It's a grueling ordeal. But the idea of her enjoying makes me mad enough.


II Thessalonians 1:7-9
And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power



The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony
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Default Re: Sewing Up My Wife's Vagina - 02-02-2016, 06:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson View Post
Mr. Johnson here;

While a good idea to prevent against temptation, remember the Lord works mighty miracles. "And Abraham was an hundred years old, when his son Isaac was born unto him.6 And Sarah said, God hath made me to laugh, so that all that hear will laugh with me.7 And she said, Who would have said unto Abraham, that Sarah should have given children suck? for I have born him a son in his old age." Genesis 21:5-7

Yours in Christ,
Mr. Mark Johnson


Thank you Mrs. Johnson,


It is my husband's dictate that I must relay to him every proposed or utilized act of pious womanly behavior and treatment. He asks me what I have learned from the sessions he permits me to view this excellent site. If I hesitate or he guesses that I'm withholding something because I don't want to add it to my duties naturally I'll be punished.


Therefore, when I saw that removing my .............. might be advised my blood ran cold. Thank you Mrs. Johnson for pointing to the Holy Bible which of course is our only help as we women try to think independently of our man.


I'm also grateful for the godly wisdom of the men who have offered better uses for the money involved. Regard for the comfort of men and furtherance of ministry are higher calllings than my comfort, but it is a happy situation that provides both.
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Default Re: Sewing Up My Wife's Vagina - 02-03-2016, 02:13 AM

I do not know... this seems counter productive and painful. Perhaps there is another method available.


Sing unto God, sing praises to his name: Extol him that rideth upon the heavens By his name JAH, and rejoice before him.-Psalms 68:4
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Default Re: Sewing Up My Wife's Vagina - 02-03-2016, 05:20 AM

Did you sew that bitch up, yet? How long do we have to discuss this?


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Love Jesus Re: Sewing Up My Wife's Vagina - 02-03-2016, 09:15 PM

While sewing 'it' up sounds like a dandy idea, what real man sews? It is womens' work. I'd suggest an industrial box stapler.



Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Sewing Up My Wife's Vagina - 02-03-2016, 09:54 PM

Keep in mind that even you sew her vagina up there are more traps to fall into:
-penis - butt sex. Which makes you gay.
-Penis- mouth sex which isn't any better
-mouth-mouth sex which is basically oral sex.

The perfect woman in this situation would be one without mouth, hands, feets, breats, vagina, anus.
It is actually interesting to think about how a woman would look like without all these nasty things. Surely worth an experiment. On the other side she needs to be able to cook and keep the house clean.
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Default Re: Sewing Up My Wife's Vagina - 02-05-2016, 08:48 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jedediah View Post
Brothers in Christ,

As some of you know by now, Rebekah and I have been trying unsuccessfully over the last two years to have another son. We even turned to secular doctors at one point, since my wife claimed that's what the Holy Spirit had told her that's what we needed to do. More recently, the Holy Spirit spoke to me while I was deep in prayer, telling my that my wife's ovaries have pretty much dried up like raisins. So it looks like God has decided that five sons is enough. Rebekah and I thought differently for a while, but when we can't understand His ways, we may yet rejoice in His promises.

Since we will no longer be bringing new Soldiers for Christ into the world, we clearly no longer have any use for genitalia. At best, it just gets in the way. But far too often, they lead people into temptation. Salvation is serious business, and neither of us are willing to jeopardize our place praising and grovelling at the feet of the LORD for all eternity, singing Him praise songs and hosanas.

Matthew 18:7-9
Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!
Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting fire.
And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire.

In my case, it's fairly straightforward and should satisfy all the requirements of Matthew 19:12. Dr. Jones has agreed to perform the procedure, and I should be back up and moving around in time for worship services the following Sunday, assuming the stitches hold up.

However, it sounds like there are more risks involved with sewing my wife's vagina up once and for all. Dr. Jones thinks that it would go rancid and declined to perform the procedure. While it is certainly a risk, I'm more than willing to pay for antibiotics whenever she has a flair-up, and besides, can you really let something trivial like septic shock stand in the way of a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to increase unto Holiness and prove to the LORD how much we are willing to go through to please Him?

Should we maybe just scoop the whole apparatus out instead of just sealing it off? Would she still be able to walk? Is there some kind of medical-grade cement we could use instead? What about putting some kind of torch on a tube with a little camera up there and just cauterizing the whole thing from the inside out? Would it be safe to sew her vagina shut then?

Hopefully when we figure this all out, I can write a journal article about it so that the practice can become more widespread among Christian women who are no longer able to have children and, therefore, have no need for their vaginas.


Mr. Jedediah I have the solution to your problems! You won't have to go see a secular "doctor", and it won't cost you more than 100 dollars. I suggest you lock your wife up in chastity for the rest of her life. In case you don't know what chastity is I will explain. A chastity belt is a metal undergarment that will stop your wife from diddling herself, and it will stop you from.. ahem "entering" her.

If you are worried about temptation getting the best of you then I would suggest you incinerate the key.

If you are feeling tempted I have an inspiring bible verse for you to read... Why its even one of my favorite verses! I have a fridge magnet with the verse written on it. 1 Thessalonians 4:3 "For this is the will of God, your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:"

Some other helpful, and inspiring verses on the topic of fornication!

Matthew 5:28 " But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."

Exodus 20:14 "Thou shalt not commit adultery."

Ephesians 5:3 " But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints;"

Colossians 3:5 "Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry:"
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Default Re: Sewing Up My Wife's Vagina - 11-03-2021, 10:41 AM

I Super Glued my Wifes Vagina Shut! It worked and its been a year now and the glue is holding? Will do same with her mouth next as she keeps on bitching!
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Default Re: Sewing Up My Wife's Vagina - 11-03-2021, 03:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by marcotheman View Post
I Super Glued my Wifes Vagina Shut! It worked and its been a year now and the glue is holding? Will do same with her mouth next as she keeps on bitching!
Welcome to God's favorite forum! What have you done today to show Jesus that you don't deserve Him (Romans 3:10)?


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flag Re: Sewing Up My Wife's Vagina - 11-15-2021, 02:09 AM

Hi Guys

Just updating you and to let you all know that the glue has failed and her piss flaps have come undone?? Someone suggested using an epoxy 2 part with a resin and a catalyst? Not sure? But can give it a try and if it doesn't work someone suggested using a staple gun! Does anyone know how to use a sewing machine?
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Default Re: Sewing Up My Wife's Vagina - 11-15-2021, 06:45 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by marcotheman View Post
Just updating you and to let you all know that the glue has failed and her piss flaps have come undone?? Someone suggested using an epoxy 2 part with a resin and a catalyst? Not sure? But can give it a try and if it doesn't work someone suggested using a staple gun! Does anyone know how to use a sewing machine?
Mr. Otheman, excuse my prying but why not try one of the suggestions made earlier in the thread. If money is an issue, there are lower tier tithing subscriptions that may be able to meet your need for medical advice. I believe the tin tithers also meet every few months to exchange clothes and needles. The tin welcome package include 10 free emails on this forum, so don't waste them!


Song of Solomon 2:2 As the lily among thorns, so is my love among the daughters.
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