Promise Enforcers - Men Only! We make Promise Keepers look like homers! No homosexuals or women allowed! |
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True Christian™
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: rebuking eurotrash commies
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ahem, is it a sin? -
03-23-2010, 12:03 PM
this is really embarrassing.
I went to the doctor yesterday due to a horrible pain in my back. It was like a red hot knife stabbing repeatedly into my lower back every time I moved. It still feels this way despite two injections of muscle relaxants. I have been praying and beseeching Jesus for some relief and I know I must have caused this by some errant thought.
"Jesus! Forgive me for my errant thought! I am truly sorry!"
(you can never beseech too much)
But the doctor also wrote a prescription for some pain medicine. She told me it was a dart. The czech language is strange and I thought nothing of it until I got home and saw that it was, well,
YOU WOMEN GET OUT OF HERE!!!
cough, er hmm, suppositories.
Now, that can't be safe, can it? I have not used them because to even touch myself down there has to be a sin.
But I'm in severe pain. If I swallowed one would that be like being a homer? I need your advice.
Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,216
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: West of Eden
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Re: ahem, is it a sin? -
03-23-2010, 01:02 PM
Surely a True Christian™ Pastor could stop by and lay on his hands to facilitate a Godly healing miracle.
Mark 16:18
They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.
I suspect the pain was preemptive punishment for seeking out a sodomatious secular physician. Please keep this in mind in the future.
Jud 1:15 To execute judgment upon all, and to convince all that are un Godly among them of all their un Godly deeds which they have un Godly committed, and of all their hard [speeches] which un Godly sinners have spoken against him.
Last edited by Oakland "Reb" Griner; 03-23-2010 at 01:05 PM.
Reason: KJV verse/sp
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,440
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: ahem, is it a sin? -
03-23-2010, 01:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by eliot mayfield
I need your advice.
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Medicine is for sissies. Take your pain like a real man! Don't try to avoid God's message to you.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 272
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Less than 5 hours from Freehold whenever needed!
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Re: ahem, is it a sin? -
03-23-2010, 02:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by eliot mayfield
this is really embarrassing.
I went to the doctor yesterday due to a horrible pain in my back. It was like a red hot knife stabbing repeatedly into my lower back every time I moved. It still feels this way despite two injections of muscle relaxants. I have been praying and beseeching Jesus for some relief and I know I must have caused this by some errant thought.
"Jesus! Forgive me for my errant thought! I am truly sorry!"
(you can never beseech too much)
But the doctor also wrote a prescription for some pain medicine. She told me it was a dart. The czech language is strange and I thought nothing of it until I got home and saw that it was, well,
YOU WOMEN GET OUT OF HERE!!!
cough, er hmm, suppositories.
Now, that can't be safe, can it? I have not used them because to even touch myself down there has to be a sin.
But I'm in severe pain. If I swallowed one would that be like being a homer? I need your advice.
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Brother Mayfield, I'm no doctor, but I do know that those suppositories your doctor gave to you are formulated to be absorbed through the tissues with which they will be in contact, should you decide to go ahead with the sinful self-sodomization that the correct administration of the drug would require. The drug, as prescribed, will not properly absorb into your body if it is subject to stomach enzymes and digestive acids. Methinks your doctor has made an insidious, yet blatant attempt to convert you to ungodly behaviors. And with all due respect sir, why would you ever in your wildest dreams consider seeing a physician who is but a female in the first place? There seems little doubt that Doctor Dyke has designs on converting you to the deathstyle that has served her so well. She obviously has no husband (at least not in any Christian sense of the word) as she has been allowed to shamelessly pursue a level of education unbecoming a real Christian woman. You need to see a True Christian™ doctor, Brother Mayfield. He will know what is appropriate to prescribe and what is clearly unacceptable for a True Christian™ man to self-administer.
I am praying for you, Brother Mayfield.
MIKE HUCKABEE/RAND PAUL - 2012 (or sooner if possible)
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: ahem, is it a sin? -
03-23-2010, 04:33 PM
A True Christian man never puts ANYTHING in back there. A suppository is the first step on the downward spiraling road to debauchery and fudge packing. It is painfully obvious this doctor is trying to convert you to be a Homer. Everyone knows, that is what Homers do, attempt to add to their ranks, using what ever method they can lay their hands on. They also use shallow logic, that opening up to your fellow man is good, that accepting penetration is a good thing. Do not fall for it.
Pain is God's way of letting you know He is with you. Let Him engulf you with his glory. As the pain builds, a point will come where you will think your will pass out. This is actually God cradling your wound and sucking the problem away.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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God Squad
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,322
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: rebuking eurotrash commies
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Re: ahem, is it a sin? -
03-23-2010, 05:25 PM
Thank you brothers. Our strength is in our unity. Praise good for such advice from my fellow TC ™ men.
Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
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Re: ahem, is it a sin? -
03-23-2010, 05:40 PM
You're right, it is a sin. Not that it matters of course, you can always repent later on once you've taken the drugs and are feeling fine.
Make sure to get good and deep so they dissolve faster.
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Posts: 18
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Location: Cumberland ME
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Re: ahem, is it a sin? -
03-25-2010, 12:55 AM
I am very sorry to read of your pain but it is indeed a message from God. I trust you will heed his word. This is all too familiar for me! Last winter I was SUPPOSEDLY diagnosed with dormant TB. I did not feel any pain, but they prescribed a erm..medicine of the same type as yours. It is a sin for anything to go near...that area...I told the doctor this and he said it would be the quickest, most painless effective treatment. I literally walked out and never returned to that doctor. He obviously didn't understand one bit and he was obviously a sinful drug-loving Catholic doctor. Can't stand them!!!!!!
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Re: ahem, is it a sin? -
03-25-2010, 01:33 AM
Is your doctor a homosexual?, damned homosexuals trying to make everyone homosexual.
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