[Bob4God]

Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins

9Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.

Oh, shout GLORY!

And who could forget GOD's passionate mercy and justice for the children, as described in Isaiah?

Their children also shall be dashed to pieces before their eyes; their houses shall be spoiled, and their wives ravished. - Isaiah 13:16

Baby stomping is indeed one of my favorite Bible study topics!

[TheEventHorizon]

Fap is a short slang term for masturbation. Feel free to "fap" whenever you have the time as it's healthy and reduces the risk of cancer

[Nobar King]

I'd rather die of cancer and go to heaven than risk spending an eternity in hell because I played with my tallywhacker.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

I took our little friend's advice and Googled "FAP".

Would you believe there's a FAP gene, according to scienticians?

Entrez Gene summary for FAP:

The protein encoded by this gene is a homodimeric integral membrane gelatinase belonging to the serine protease family. It is selectively expressed in reactive stromal fibroblasts of epithelial cancers, granulation tissue of healing wounds, and malignant cells of bone and soft tissue sarcomas. This protein is thought to be involved in the control of fibroblast growth or epithelial-mesenchymal interactions during development, tissue repair, and epithelial carcinogenesis. (provided by RefSeq)

Disgusting.

[Jpagan]

Originally Posted by TheEventHorizon

Fap is a short slang term for masturbation. Feel free to "fap" whenever you have the time as it's healthy and reduces the risk of cancer

Well this brings up two questions: 1 is fapping just one time enough to condemn you straight to hell or does it take multiple offenses, or maybe only if your addicted and keep doing it?

2: as to it's correlation to cancer I can not attest. However I do know that fapping and then waiting a few days before intercourse increases chances of pregnancy and a healthy baby because you've expelled older/fallow reproductive material which is followed by a rapid replenishment.

2a: So wouldn't it be acceptable to fap and then have intercourse with your wife to help propagate more True Christian Children?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Nobar King

I'd rather die of cancer and go to heaven than risk spending an eternity in hell because I played with my tallywhacker.

Amen brother. Spending eternity being anally raped by every demon in hell is not worth a few moments of blissful pleasure. Jesus watches us every second, and I don't want Him to see my "O" face.

[TheEventHorizon]

Originally Posted by Nobar King

I'd rather die of cancer and go to heaven than risk spending an eternity in hell because I played with my tallywhacker.

Prove hell. Prove it. No bullshit, no retarded excuses, prove it right here, right now.

[James Hutchins]

Originally Posted by TheEventHorizon

Prove hell. Prove it. No bullshit, no retarded excuses, prove it right here, right now.

Friend, God (and Landover) does not have to 'prove anything' to you. You have to prove your worth to Him. Every second you are alive and not smote by God with a lightning bolt is a second you need to be on your knees thanking Him for the Grace of Your Life®.

The way you rant, what are you, 12?

[TheEventHorizon]

Originally Posted by James Hutchins

Friend, God (and Landover) does not have to 'prove anything' to you. You have to prove your worth to Him. Every second you are alive and not smote by God with a lightning bolt is a second you need to be on your knees thanking Him for the Grace of Your Life®.

The way you rant, what are you, 12?

For a 13 year old I'm very mature when I want to be. But maturity and intelligence aren't based on your age. And the answer that you gave me just therefore proved that there is no god.

[Nobar King]

Originally Posted by TheEventHorizon

Prove hell. Prove it. No bullshit, no retarded excuses, prove it right here, right now.

I hope that you aren't suggesting suicide~!!! That's a sin, you know.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by TheEventHorizon

Prove hell. Prove it. No bullshit, no retarded excuses, prove it right here, right now.

Read THIS.

[James Hutchins]

Originally Posted by TheEventHorizon

For a 13 year old I'm very mature when I want to be. But maturity and intelligence aren't based on your age. And the answer that you gave me just therefore proved that there is no god.

No friend, you are not. You act like a mere 12 year old. Your intelligence and logic is that of an 11 year old. Finally, I have only proved there is a God, and He has the final say. One day, when God is ready to have you Judged, and the person is going over the deeds of your life, thier head will be shaking from side to side, thier mouth going ' Tsk, tsk, tsk' as they chek off boxes. You end up in a line full of sad, depressed people, slowly shuffling towards a doorway with an orange glow and wisps of smoke eminating from it. I large hairy man will force you through the door.
Instantly your soul begin falling towards the black abyss above Hell. The falling seems eternal as you gather speed and the heat begins to grow. Then you notice a red dot below you growing larger by the second, this is the Lake in the center of Hell. It is the brightest point in Hell therefore it is visible for a great distance. Keep in mind that the farther you fall, the further from Christ you are.
As you gain speed and the flames become apparent you may wonder how you can stop this from happening. The answer is simple. It's too late and you can't, you're doomed. Your soul is damned and it WILL happen. The temperature is now approaching the unbearable limit as your flesh begins to smoulder and ignite and you continue to build speed as you plummet toward the now visible boiling Lake of Fire. You can almost make out individual souls thrashing in the magma with your flaming eyesockets. Soon you will join them, your terror mounts as your screams become gargled with the stench of Hells evil smell. The heat becomes excruciating as you notice your skin peeling away and your bones becoming visible and black. Flaming and screaming in anguish, you splashdown into the acidic brimstone of Satans Lake at around 250 MPH. You are instantly vaporized and reformed as a tormented soul writhing in absolute terror in the deafening depths of the Lake that Burns Eternal. The pain is beyond comprehension as you gnash your teeth so hard they shatter in your mouth. Satan periodically plucks you from the flames to savagely rape repeatedly and casually tosses you to his infernal minions to rip apart and rape at will, only to be reformed and have this scenario repeated...over and over and over, forever. .
Is it still funny mocking our mission to Save your soul? We want you to enjoy Heaven and eternal praise and worship at the feet of our Saviour the Lord Jesus Christ.

Unless you are Saved™ by Jesus Christ and His Holy website and favorite church, Landover Baptist, there is no other way to avoid this.

Think about it.

[TheEventHorizon]

Originally Posted by James Hutchins

No friend, you are not. You act like a mere 12 year old. Your intelligence and logic is that of an 11 year old. Finally, I have only proved there is a God, and He has the final say. One day, when God is ready to have you Judged, and the person is going over the deeds of your life, thier head will be shaking from side to side, thier mouth going ' Tsk, tsk, tsk' as they chek off boxes. You end up in a line full of sad, depressed people, slowly shuffling towards a doorway with an orange glow and wisps of smoke eminating from it. I large hairy man will force you through the door.
Instantly your soul begin falling towards the black abyss above Hell. The falling seems eternal as you gather speed and the heat begins to grow. Then you notice a red dot below you growing larger by the second, this is the Lake in the center of Hell. It is the brightest point in Hell therefore it is visible for a great distance. Keep in mind that the farther you fall, the further from Christ you are.
As you gain speed and the flames become apparent you may wonder how you can stop this from happening. The answer is simple. It's too late and you can't, you're doomed. Your soul is damned and it WILL happen. The temperature is now approaching the unbearable limit as your flesh begins to smoulder and ignite and you continue to build speed as you plummet toward the now visible boiling Lake of Fire. You can almost make out individual souls thrashing in the magma with your flaming eyesockets. Soon you will join them, your terror mounts as your screams become gargled with the stench of Hells evil smell. The heat becomes excruciating as you notice your skin peeling away and your bones becoming visible and black. Flaming and screaming in anguish, you splashdown into the acidic brimstone of Satans Lake at around 250 MPH. You are instantly vaporized and reformed as a tormented soul writhing in absolute terror in the deafening depths of the Lake that Burns Eternal. The pain is beyond comprehension as you gnash your teeth so hard they shatter in your mouth. Satan periodically plucks you from the flames to savagely rape repeatedly and casually tosses you to his infernal minions to rip apart and rape at will, only to be reformed and have this scenario repeated...over and over and over, forever. .
Is it still funny mocking our mission to Save your soul? We want you to enjoy Heaven and eternal praise and worship at the feet of our Saviour the Lord Jesus Christ.

Unless you are Saved™ by Jesus Christ and His Holy website and favorite church, Landover Baptist, there is no other way to avoid this.

Think about it.

I was born on February the 4th, 1999. It is now the 6th of May, 2012 so therefore I'm 13 and a bit. I believe I know what age I am you fool. And all people are different so you cannot simply say "You have the intelligence and logic of that as an 11 year old and you act like a 12 year old." And also that doesn't prove hell. All you did was explain what happens in hell. Are you willing to try again?

[James Hutchins]

Originally Posted by TheEventHorizon

I was born on February the 4th, 1999. It is now the 6th of May, 2012 so therefore I'm 13 and a bit. I believe I know what age I am you fool. And all people are different so you cannot simply say "You have the intelligence and logic of that as an 11 year old and you act like a 12 year old." And also that doesn't prove hell. All you did was explain what happens in hell. Are you willing to try again?

Friend, I succinctly explained how and why I thought you are the ages you are. A rock, being around since God created the Earth, is not smarter or wiser due to its age. It is still just a rock. Your ad hominem comments only confirm my observations.
The Bible confirms Hell as does this:
PROOF God is REAL!

I'd get a giggle out of your childish attempt at proving God and Hell do not exist. Your turn, Webster.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

This is FAP.

And their clock is obviously malfunctioning, hence the "Fail".

[Gilbert Beilschmidt]

Sir, I hate to burst your bubble but "fap" is sexual innuendo for masturbation.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Originally Posted by Gilbert Beilschmidt

Sir, I hate to burst your bubble but "fap" is sexual innuendo for masturbation.

No.

FAP is a acronym from Ethological terminology for fixed action pattern. Obviously you went to public school

Even if it was it be a euphemism, not an innuendo.

For example if some one says, 'did you pull it off?' that would be an innuendo.

When you have finished your education come back to us.

YIC

[Gilbert Beilschmidt]

I am quite educated
as in i'm not so stupid as to think Fap is a political thing >_>
Trust me I know.

[Didymus Much]

Originally Posted by Gilbert Beilschmidt

...Trust me I know.

Does that approach work on your anime-manga fan forums?

If I fell for that (claiming unimpeachable veracity while offering NO support aside from your own word), I'd be a Christian.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Originally Posted by Gilbert Beilschmidt

Sir, I hate to burst your bubble but "fap" is sexual innuendo for masturbation.

Miss, first of all, this is the Men's Only section. Choosing a masculine username does not make you male.

Second, if you'd bothered to read the 800+ posts before yours, you'd see that scores of masturbation-obsessed refugees from 4chan have already insisted that this sign has something to do with "wanking":



Or that FAP can't stand for anything else, such as:

FAP may refer to:
Technology and industry

• FORTRAN Assembly Program, the macro assembler for some IBM mainframe computers
• Fair Access Policy, a term for a bandwidth cap, limiting Internet usage
• Femtocell (Femto Access Point), a small cellular telephone base station
• Fabrika automobila Priboj, a motor vehicle manufacturer based in Priboj, Serbia
• Diesel particulate filter (French, filtre à particules), a filter for motor exhaust gas
• Film Academy of the Philippines, the Philippines' official counterpart of the United States' Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences

Biology and medicine

• Functional analytic psychotherapy, clinical psychotherapy that uses a "radical behaviorist" position
• Familial adenomatous polyposis, a condition where polyps form in the large intestine
• Familial amyloid polyneuropathy, a neurodegenerative, genetically transmitted disease
• Fixed action pattern, an instinctive animal behavioral sequence
• FAP (gene), a human gene, encoding for the fibroblast activation protein
• Fas-associated phosphatase, a molecule that inhibits the effect of Fas ligand to make cells initiate apoptosis

Politics, government, and armed forces

• Portuguese Air Force (Força Aérea Portuguesa)
• Peruvian Air Force (Fuerza Aérea del Peru)
• People's Armed Forces (Forces Armées Populaires), a Chadian insurgent group
• Federal-aid primary highway system, part of the United States Federal-aid highway program
• Federal Art Project, the visual arts arm of the US Great Depression-era Federal One program
• Free German Workers' Party (Freiheitliche Arbeiter Partei), a former German political party