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Moderator Arms Dealer for CHRIST Hands folded for Jesus
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Posts: 5,251
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: On the Straight and Narrow (Earthly location: Freehold, Iowa)
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Re: What is Fap? -
05-02-2012, 09:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins
9Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Oh, shout GLORY!
And who could forget GOD's passionate mercy and justice for the children, as described in Isaiah?
Their children also shall be dashed to pieces before their eyes; their houses shall be spoiled, and their wives ravished. - Isaiah 13:16
Baby stomping is indeed one of my favorite Bible study topics!
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 35
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Communist Europistan
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Re: What is Fap? -
05-04-2012, 04:00 PM
Fap is a short slang term for masturbation. Feel free to "fap" whenever you have the time as it's healthy and reduces the risk of cancer
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: What is Fap? -
05-04-2012, 04:11 PM
I'd rather die of cancer and go to heaven than risk spending an eternity in hell because I played with my tallywhacker.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
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Re: What is Fap? -
05-04-2012, 08:15 PM
I took our little friend's advice and Googled "FAP".
Would you believe there's a FAP gene, according to scienticians?
Quote:
Entrez Gene summary for FAP:
The protein encoded by this gene is a homodimeric integral membrane gelatinase belonging to the serine protease family. It is selectively expressed in reactive stromal fibroblasts of epithelial cancers, granulation tissue of healing wounds, and malignant cells of bone and soft tissue sarcomas. This protein is thought to be involved in the control of fibroblast growth or epithelial-mesenchymal interactions during development, tissue repair, and epithelial carcinogenesis. (provided by RefSeq)
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Disgusting.
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Unsaved trash, dangerous witch
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Posts: 54
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Godless Midwest
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Re: What is Fap? -
05-05-2012, 02:42 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheEventHorizon
Fap is a short slang term for masturbation. Feel free to "fap" whenever you have the time as it's healthy and reduces the risk of cancer
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Well this brings up two questions: 1 is fapping just one time enough to condemn you straight to hell or does it take multiple offenses, or maybe only if your addicted and keep doing it?
2: as to it's correlation to cancer I can not attest. However I do know that fapping and then waiting a few days before intercourse increases chances of pregnancy and a healthy baby because you've expelled older/fallow reproductive material which is followed by a rapid replenishment.
2a: So wouldn't it be acceptable to fap and then have intercourse with your wife to help propagate more True Christian Children?
A righteous man regardeth the life of his beast; But the tender mercies of the wicked are cruel. Proverbs 12:10
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: What is Fap? -
05-05-2012, 03:59 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
I'd rather die of cancer and go to heaven than risk spending an eternity in hell because I played with my tallywhacker.
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Amen brother. Spending eternity being anally raped by every demon in hell is not worth a few moments of blissful pleasure. Jesus watches us every second, and I don't want Him to see my "O" face.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 35
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Communist Europistan
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Re: What is Fap? -
05-05-2012, 11:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
I'd rather die of cancer and go to heaven than risk spending an eternity in hell because I played with my tallywhacker.
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Prove hell. Prove it. No bullshit, no retarded excuses, prove it right here, right now.
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: What is Fap? -
05-06-2012, 12:27 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheEventHorizon
Prove hell. Prove it. No bullshit, no retarded excuses, prove it right here, right now.
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Friend, God (and Landover) does not have to 'prove anything' to you. You have to prove your worth to Him. Every second you are alive and not smote by God with a lightning bolt is a second you need to be on your knees thanking Him for the Grace of Your Life®.
The way you rant, what are you, 12?
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 35
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Communist Europistan
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Re: What is Fap? -
05-06-2012, 01:17 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins
Friend, God (and Landover) does not have to 'prove anything' to you. You have to prove your worth to Him. Every second you are alive and not smote by God with a lightning bolt is a second you need to be on your knees thanking Him for the Grace of Your Life®.
The way you rant, what are you, 12?
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For a 13 year old I'm very mature when I want to be. But maturity and intelligence aren't based on your age. And the answer that you gave me just therefore proved that there is no god.
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: What is Fap? -
05-06-2012, 01:25 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheEventHorizon
Prove hell. Prove it. No bullshit, no retarded excuses, prove it right here, right now.
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I hope that you aren't suggesting suicide~!!! That's a sin, you know.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: What is Fap? -
05-06-2012, 04:30 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheEventHorizon
Prove hell. Prove it. No bullshit, no retarded excuses, prove it right here, right now.
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Read THIS.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: What is Fap? -
05-06-2012, 11:12 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheEventHorizon
For a 13 year old I'm very mature when I want to be. But maturity and intelligence aren't based on your age. And the answer that you gave me just therefore proved that there is no god.
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No friend, you are not. You act like a mere 12 year old. Your intelligence and logic is that of an 11 year old. Finally, I have only proved there is a God, and He has the final say. One day, when God is ready to have you Judged, and the person is going over the deeds of your life, thier head will be shaking from side to side, thier mouth going ' Tsk, tsk, tsk' as they chek off boxes. You end up in a line full of sad, depressed people, slowly shuffling towards a doorway with an orange glow and wisps of smoke eminating from it. I large hairy man will force you through the door.
Instantly your soul begin falling towards the black abyss above Hell. The falling seems eternal as you gather speed and the heat begins to grow. Then you notice a red dot below you growing larger by the second, this is the Lake in the center of Hell. It is the brightest point in Hell therefore it is visible for a great distance. Keep in mind that the farther you fall, the further from Christ you are.
As you gain speed and the flames become apparent you may wonder how you can stop this from happening. The answer is simple. It's too late and you can't, you're doomed. Your soul is damned and it WILL happen. The temperature is now approaching the unbearable limit as your flesh begins to smoulder and ignite and you continue to build speed as you plummet toward the now visible boiling Lake of Fire. You can almost make out individual souls thrashing in the magma with your flaming eyesockets. Soon you will join them, your terror mounts as your screams become gargled with the stench of Hells evil smell. The heat becomes excruciating as you notice your skin peeling away and your bones becoming visible and black. Flaming and screaming in anguish, you splashdown into the acidic brimstone of Satans Lake at around 250 MPH. You are instantly vaporized and reformed as a tormented soul writhing in absolute terror in the deafening depths of the Lake that Burns Eternal. The pain is beyond comprehension as you gnash your teeth so hard they shatter in your mouth. Satan periodically plucks you from the flames to savagely rape repeatedly and casually tosses you to his infernal minions to rip apart and rape at will, only to be reformed and have this scenario repeated...over and over and over, forever. .
Is it still funny mocking our mission to Save your soul? We want you to enjoy Heaven and eternal praise and worship at the feet of our Saviour the Lord Jesus Christ.
Unless you are Saved™ by Jesus Christ and His Holy website and favorite church, Landover Baptist, there is no other way to avoid this.
Think about it.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 35
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Communist Europistan
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Re: What is Fap? -
05-06-2012, 01:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins
No friend, you are not. You act like a mere 12 year old. Your intelligence and logic is that of an 11 year old. Finally, I have only proved there is a God, and He has the final say. One day, when God is ready to have you Judged, and the person is going over the deeds of your life, thier head will be shaking from side to side, thier mouth going ' Tsk, tsk, tsk' as they chek off boxes. You end up in a line full of sad, depressed people, slowly shuffling towards a doorway with an orange glow and wisps of smoke eminating from it. I large hairy man will force you through the door.
Instantly your soul begin falling towards the black abyss above Hell. The falling seems eternal as you gather speed and the heat begins to grow. Then you notice a red dot below you growing larger by the second, this is the Lake in the center of Hell. It is the brightest point in Hell therefore it is visible for a great distance. Keep in mind that the farther you fall, the further from Christ you are.
As you gain speed and the flames become apparent you may wonder how you can stop this from happening. The answer is simple. It's too late and you can't, you're doomed. Your soul is damned and it WILL happen. The temperature is now approaching the unbearable limit as your flesh begins to smoulder and ignite and you continue to build speed as you plummet toward the now visible boiling Lake of Fire. You can almost make out individual souls thrashing in the magma with your flaming eyesockets. Soon you will join them, your terror mounts as your screams become gargled with the stench of Hells evil smell. The heat becomes excruciating as you notice your skin peeling away and your bones becoming visible and black. Flaming and screaming in anguish, you splashdown into the acidic brimstone of Satans Lake at around 250 MPH. You are instantly vaporized and reformed as a tormented soul writhing in absolute terror in the deafening depths of the Lake that Burns Eternal. The pain is beyond comprehension as you gnash your teeth so hard they shatter in your mouth. Satan periodically plucks you from the flames to savagely rape repeatedly and casually tosses you to his infernal minions to rip apart and rape at will, only to be reformed and have this scenario repeated...over and over and over, forever. .
Is it still funny mocking our mission to Save your soul? We want you to enjoy Heaven and eternal praise and worship at the feet of our Saviour the Lord Jesus Christ.
Unless you are Saved™ by Jesus Christ and His Holy website and favorite church, Landover Baptist, there is no other way to avoid this.
Think about it.
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I was born on February the 4th, 1999. It is now the 6th of May, 2012 so therefore I'm 13 and a bit. I believe I know what age I am you fool. And all people are different so you cannot simply say "You have the intelligence and logic of that as an 11 year old and you act like a 12 year old." And also that doesn't prove hell. All you did was explain what happens in hell. Are you willing to try again?
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: What is Fap? -
05-06-2012, 02:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheEventHorizon
I was born on February the 4th, 1999. It is now the 6th of May, 2012 so therefore I'm 13 and a bit. I believe I know what age I am you fool. And all people are different so you cannot simply say "You have the intelligence and logic of that as an 11 year old and you act like a 12 year old." And also that doesn't prove hell. All you did was explain what happens in hell. Are you willing to try again?
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Friend, I succinctly explained how and why I thought you are the ages you are. A rock, being around since God created the Earth, is not smarter or wiser due to its age. It is still just a rock. Your ad hominem comments only confirm my observations.
The Bible confirms Hell as does this:
PROOF God is REAL!
I'd get a giggle out of your childish attempt at proving God and Hell do not exist. Your turn, Webster.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
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Re: What is Fap? -
05-07-2012, 07:34 PM
This is FAP.
And their clock is obviously malfunctioning, hence the "Fail".
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Unsaved trash, joo bulldyke pervert
Under Investigation
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Posts: 20
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: West Virginia
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Re: What is Fap? -
07-19-2012, 12:34 PM
Sir, I hate to burst your bubble but "fap" is sexual innuendo for masturbation.
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Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
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Posts: 9,051
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
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Re: What is Fap? -
07-19-2012, 01:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilbert Beilschmidt
Sir, I hate to burst your bubble but "fap" is sexual innuendo for masturbation.
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No.
FAP is a acronym from Ethological terminology for fixed action pattern. Obviously you went to public school
Even if it was it be a euphemism, not an innuendo.
For example if some one says, 'did you pull it off?' that would be an innuendo.
When you have finished your education come back to us.
YIC
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Unsaved trash, joo bulldyke pervert
Under Investigation
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Posts: 20
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: West Virginia
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Re: What is Fap? -
07-19-2012, 07:34 PM
I am quite educated
as in i'm not so stupid as to think Fap is a political thing >_>
Trust me I know.
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,455
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: What is Fap? -
07-19-2012, 08:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilbert Beilschmidt
...Trust me I know.
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Does that approach work on your anime-manga fan forums?
If I fell for that (claiming unimpeachable veracity while offering NO support aside from your own word), I'd be a Christian.
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
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Re: What is Fap? -
07-19-2012, 08:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilbert Beilschmidt
Sir, I hate to burst your bubble but "fap" is sexual innuendo for masturbation.
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Miss, first of all, this is the Men's Only section. Choosing a masculine username does not make you male.
Second, if you'd bothered to read the 800+ posts before yours, you'd see that scores of masturbation-obsessed refugees from 4chan have already insisted that this sign has something to do with "wanking":
Or that FAP can't stand for anything else, such as:
FAP may refer to:
Technology and industry Biology and medicine Politics, government, and armed forces
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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