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Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow.

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Jesus' eternal love Re: Moving from NYC - 05-29-2019, 04:14 PM

My Sweet Granny with the Immaculate Heart:


I cared for my mother's fancy glass stuff growing up - in fact, she decorated my room with tens of them, and I carefully dusted them daily to keep them as beautiful as the day the glass-blower formed them through the inspiration of our Heavenly King.


Bleach and sandpaper is a wonderful combination to keep them lustrous and as they were intended. You may rest assured that NO ONE will ever see them once they are left to my care, so no need to worry about them. I think you should focus on the beauty that our Lord will bestow upon you in Heaven. His treasures are worth more than those you have here.


Say, about how much is all that stuff worth, including the house, anyway? Just out of curiosity and fun. You know, to pass the day.


With sincere lovey wovey from your grandbaby waby,
BrotherLarry


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Default Re: Moving from NYC - 05-29-2019, 06:51 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry View Post
My Sweet Granny with the Immaculate Heart:

I cared for my mother's fancy glass stuff growing up - in fact, she decorated my room with tens of them, and I carefully dusted them daily to keep them as beautiful as the day the glass-blower formed them through the inspiration of our Heavenly King.

Bleach and sandpaper is a wonderful combination to keep them lustrous and as they were intended. You may rest assured that NO ONE will ever see them once they are left to my care, so no need to worry about them. I think you should focus on the beauty that our Lord will bestow upon you in Heaven. His treasures are worth more than those you have here.

Say, about how much is all that stuff worth, including the house, anyway? Just out of curiosity and fun. You know, to pass the day.

With sincere lovey wovey from your grandbaby waby,
BrotherLarry
Oh, Dear, Beloved Great-Grandbaby Brother Larry: You'll have to pardon me if I seem a bit disoriented this very fine afternoon, but when I'd read your recommendation of using sandpaper and bleach on my epergnes (and did I mention my collection of Bohemian lusters and Sevres tureens?), I had to reach for my smelling salts, and I've been a bit woozy since then. But, no worries, as I'm sure you will, in fact, take precise care when caring for my valuable antiques. Now, as for the value of those (and the house and various other "odds and sods"), I can't possibly say the value online. You know, there are unscrupulous persons about, who would think nothing of conniving their way into the affairs of elderly, unsuspecting people. So, one must be careful, so you'll have to PM me for that information. But, I've just had a thought: my household & property insurance is coming up for renewal soon, and I was wondering if your BrotherLarry Solution company offers this type of insurance, in addition to your other types? If so, might you be able to provide some inspiring testimonials, say, from trusted persons such as Mrs. L.P. in Queens??
A blessed day to you, Dear, Darling One,
Lovingly, Granny Isabella




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Love Jesus Re: Moving from NYC - 05-29-2019, 07:36 PM

As a matter of fact, I DO have a solution for your protection needs.


And believe me, I know there are predators out there seeking to scam poor, innocent, immaculate, blessed, wealthy, up in years folks like you, Dear Precious Lady. That's why I have TWO solutions for you.


1. Predator Insurance: Protects against losing your assets to scammers who try to weasel you out of your hard-earned and cherished property and/or savings, checking, or investment accounts. A Mrs. LP of the Bronx, NY says: "Some whippersnapper tried to weasel me out of my hard-earned and cherished property and/or my savings, checking, or investment accounts. Predator Insurance (A Larry Solution) was there to help catch the predator and I got a check for almost $300! Wow!"
2. Sign Over Your Property NOW Plan: Just sign the rights over to Larry Solutions immediately and you'll never have to worry about wills, scammers, thieves, or unscrupulous folks anymore! Just read what a Mrs. LP of Queens, NY says: "Once I enrolled in the Sign Over Your Property NOW Plan, I didn't have the worries of home ownership from that day forward. This plan has been a lifesaver. All I do now I pay the property tax and upkeep on the land and property, but I have none of the other hassles about my will, scammers, thieves, or unscrupulous folks anymore. Wow!"


Consider this, Great-Grannie Wanny Panny Foo Foo Fumskins. And remember, I love you and will always be there for you.


Your sweet loving great grandbaby waby maby laby-poo,
BrotherLarry


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Jesus Re: Moving from NYC - 06-04-2019, 11:52 PM

UPDATE:


I am not moving from NYC at this time. I am aware just how many of you care about this, therefore it would be unkind of me not to give you this update.


Jesus came to me in a vision and told me I was needed to be a beacon of light and hope in this otherwise Godless city. He urged me to increase my ministry and to continue my divinity studies. He even promised to help me write a dissertation when the time comes. I have found a new church home that appreciates my intelligence and strapping good looks. It takes me two trains, a bus, and a cab to get to it, but it feeds my soul. The management of my building finally agreed to a month-to-month lease so if God tells me to move again I can do so without penalty.


Christ watches over those He loves and I should have known this. For me to make a move at this time would be such folly. I know great things are in store. He never fails. He is good, all the time. When we take one step toward the LORD, He takes two steps toward us.


GLORY!


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Default Re: Moving from NYC - 06-07-2019, 05:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry View Post
As a matter of fact, I DO have a solution for your protection needs.

And believe me, I know there are predators out there seeking to scam poor, innocent, immaculate, blessed, wealthy, up in years folks like you, Dear Precious Lady. That's why I have TWO solutions for you.

1. Predator Insurance: Protects against losing your assets to scammers who try to weasel you out of your hard-earned and cherished property and/or savings, checking, or investment accounts. A Mrs. LP of the Bronx, NY says: "Some whippersnapper tried to weasel me out of my hard-earned and cherished property and/or my savings, checking, or investment accounts. Predator Insurance (A Larry Solution) was there to help catch the predator and I got a check for almost $300! Wow!"
2. Sign Over Your Property NOW Plan: Just sign the rights over to Larry Solutions immediately and you'll never have to worry about wills, scammers, thieves, or unscrupulous folks anymore! Just read what a Mrs. LP of Queens, NY says: "Once I enrolled in the Sign Over Your Property NOW Plan, I didn't have the worries of home ownership from that day forward. This plan has been a lifesaver. All I do now I pay the property tax and upkeep on the land and property, but I have none of the other hassles about my will, scammers, thieves, or unscrupulous folks anymore. Wow!"

Consider this, Great-Grannie Wanny Panny Foo Foo Fumskins. And remember, I love you and will always be there for you.

Your sweet loving great grandbaby waby maby laby-poo,
BrotherLarry
Oh, dear Great-Grandbaby Larry: I do apologize for being tardy with my response to your generous offer of insurance plans. I had been fighting a somewhat nasty cold, and while I had read your message, I did not respond at the time. And as they say, "out of sight, out of mind", or something like that. Anyway, I've just now remembered that I am owing a response to you, so please do forgive this old lady for being late.

Thank you so very kindly for describing the details of your most-generous insurance offer. However, I should mention that just before my cold took hold, I had a meeting with my lawyer, regarding some bits and bobs and loose ends. He reminded me that my other insurance plans are "auto-renew", so it appears that I am "all set" for another year. But, I do thank you, from the bottom of my old heart, for being so truly concerned. My word, your mother must be so proud to have such a fine son as you!

A blessed day to you, Dear Darling Larry,
Lovingly, Granny Isabella.




(Mrs.) Isabella White

Hebrews 10:19 "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "
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Default Re: Moving from NYC - 06-07-2019, 05:07 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry View Post
UPDATE:

I am not moving from NYC at this time. I am aware just how many of you care about this, therefore it would be unkind of me not to give you this update.

Jesus came to me in a vision and told me I was needed to be a beacon of light and hope in this otherwise Godless city. He urged me to increase my ministry and to continue my divinity studies. He even promised to help me write a dissertation when the time comes. I have found a new church home that appreciates my intelligence and strapping good looks. It takes me two trains, a bus, and a cab to get to it, but it feeds my soul. The management of my building finally agreed to a month-to-month lease so if God tells me to move again I can do so without penalty.

Christ watches over those He loves and I should have known this. For me to make a move at this time would be such folly. I know great things are in store. He never fails. He is good, all the time. When we take one step toward the LORD, He takes two steps toward us.

GLORY!
Thank you for this update, dear Great-Grandbaby Larry. I am so happy to see that my prayers have been answered -- once again! You see, I was praying that you would not move from your Village in New York. I know how the uses you for You have such a remarkable ministry, on those dark, cold streets of New York, and without you being there, the young men would miss the opportunity to get down on their knees in testimony to the Greatness of Almighty. And with that demonic "World Pride" parade coming up there, I can well imagine how busy you will be, with throngs of perverts becoming converts for the advancement of the Kingdom of Heaven.

A blessed day to you, Dear One,
Lovingly, Granny Isabella




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Hebrews 10:19 "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "
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Default Re: Moving from NYC - 06-07-2019, 06:57 PM

Oh, Brother Larry, did you not get my message offering you one of our cottages at Jaywick Sands? They are both currently on the market, but as there has been very little interest in them my husband authorized me to offer one of them to you rent free, on condition that you carried out comprehensive renovations. Then you could have moved to the other one, again rent free, to renovate that.

Oh well, if you have decided to stay in Godless NYC then so be it. I am sure God has guided you, and there are precious few souls worth saving in Jaywick. We may just have to hire an arsonist.


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Default Re: Moving from NYC - 06-07-2019, 09:28 PM

Sister

Your kind offer overwhelms me. Having researched the area I am moved by the chance to bring new life to the properties. May I think about it?


And can you give me an idea of what needs to be done?


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Default Re: Moving from NYC - 06-07-2019, 10:04 PM

Well, obviously I'm not going to give full details on the public forums, for fear of starting a bidding war, but you can get an idea of what's needed from these two publicly listed properties: Jaywick 1 and Jaywick 2.

I think you could be very happy there.


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Question Re: Moving from NYC - 06-07-2019, 11:58 PM

Do they have electricity? Not to be unkind or ungrateful but Will materials be provided for fixing them up? What happens when I finish? How far away are you? Will I be able to petition the member of Parliament to take some action in this area?


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Default Re: Moving from NYC - 06-08-2019, 09:20 AM

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Originally Posted by BrotherLarry View Post
Do they have electricity?
Well of course they do, usually. This is England, not France!

Quote:
Not to be unkind or ungrateful but Will materials be provided for fixing them up?
Well obviously not. That's the point of them being rent-free.

Quote:
What happens when I finish?
Brother Larry, I don't understand why you're asking me this. That's entirely up to you. You could purchase/rent one at market value, or simply move on.

Quote:
How far away are you?
Around 30 American miles as the crow flies/seal swims, though you need to beware of the tides if you don't want to end up in Denmark. If you prefer to drive then it's between 125 and 155 miles, depending on which bridges are open. (It's 60% further in kilometers, obviously.) Or about 4 hours by public railroad.

Quote:
Will I be able to petition the member of Parliament to take some action in this area?
Anyone can petition anyone to do anything. Sadly, nice Mr Carswell (UKIP) was ousted at the last election and I don't know the current fellow. What sort of action did you have in mind? Come to think of it, the nearest military firing range is about 30 miles away, as the missile flies. That might well be the solution for Jaywick, and there would be government compensation for the error. Thank you for the suggestion.


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Default Re: Moving from NYC - 06-08-2019, 01:10 PM

Dearest Sister in Jesus

I emailed Her Majesty for help with a speedy visa but as of this morning I have received no response. I got an “out of office” auto response from PM May (odd). Perhaps your husband can pull some strings?


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Question Re: Moving from NYC - 06-09-2019, 06:07 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry View Post
Dearest Sister in Jesus

I emailed Her Majesty for help with a speedy visa but as of this morning I have received no response. I got an “out of office” auto response from PM May (odd). Perhaps your husband can pull some strings?

Oh Sister? I politely asked you for help. There are things I must do to accept your kind offer and now you seem to have abandoned me - your daughter's Uncle Larry! Why?


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Default Re: Moving from NYC - 06-09-2019, 07:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry View Post
Oh Sister? I politely asked you for help. There are things I must do to accept your kind offer and now you seem to have abandoned me - your daughter's Uncle Larry! Why?
Sorry, Larry dear - Matthew was up in London yesterday for HM the Q's birthday parade and post-parade bash and didn't get back until this afternoon. As he had a bit of a sore head (HM really knows how to party) he has only just surfaced.


He says "What? Americans don't need a visa to enter the UK." (He added some more colorful stuff that is not directly related to your question, so I shall not repeat it.) I hope that helps?


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Default Re: Moving from NYC - 06-09-2019, 09:06 PM

Not really helpful and I am so pleased that he was so interested in the person who is willing to work on his properties in a god forsaken area using his own money to do so when his return on investment will be much greater than living rent free.

According to the UK site if I wanna work and live there I must have a visa. Hey you guys should know this stuff before you make offers.

Tell little Hannah that Uncalarry is trying to get to her but daddy is being a whittled out carfsnarker about it.


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Default Re: Moving from NYC - 06-09-2019, 09:28 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry View Post
Not really helpful and I am so pleased that he was so interested in the person who is willing to work on his properties in a god forsaken area using his own money to do so when his return on investment will be much greater than living rent free.
Matthew and I very much doubt that. But then your understanding of the job and housing market in slum areas is almost certainly greater than ours.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry View Post
According to the UK site if I wanna work and live there I must have a visa. Hey you guys should know this stuff before you make offers.
"Working" in the UK implies being paid to work. You would be absolutely at liberty to live here (and renovate your RENT-FREE property on an unpaid basis) for up to six months without any kind of government interference. After 6 months, should the work not be completed through lassitude or sheer incompetence, it is customary to take a day-trip to (say) Ireland and return on a fresh 6-month automatic-entry visa.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry View Post
Tell little Hannah that Uncalarry is trying to get to her but daddy is being a whittled out carfsnarker about it.
It's after 10 o'clock at night here and Hannah is getting her beauty sleep. I have told my husband, though. He laughed rather a lot and asked me to wish you well, wherever you end up, though sadly for you it won't be Jaywick.

All the best, dear.
YiC
Joanna


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Default Re: Moving from NYC - 06-11-2019, 02:14 PM

OK, aren't you the horse guy? Anyway, I noticed that a while ago you requested to be legally registered as a Freehold Citizen. Well, the paperwork just came through and the committee (that's me and my most seasoned Filipino Houseboys) have granted you a permanent and official missionary position on the Island of Rockall off the Irish coast. We presume there are quite a few catlicks there to be saved.

Here's a pic of the location.


And here's a verse from my namesake prophet, one of the hard core ones.
Quote:
And the desolate land shall be tilled, whereas it lay desolate in the sight of all that passed by.
Ezekiel 36:34
You'll be in our thoughts and prayers!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Jesus Re: Moving from NYC - 06-11-2019, 03:32 PM

I must say this is such a thoughtful offer. Who else would have the honor of an uninhabited island near Ireland under the auspices of Scotland? Not many, I would guess.
Unfortunately I must decline. Almost everything is in readiness for the move to China. If that falls through I may reconsider.
May the God of Abraham Isaac and Jacob lift His countenance upon you.

BrotherLarry


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Default Re: Moving from NYC - 06-11-2019, 03:38 PM

Wherever you move to, BrotherLarry, please take care and know that my thoughts and prayers--but no money whatsoever--go with you.


His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

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Default Re: Moving from NYC - 06-11-2019, 04:20 PM

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Wherever you move to, BrotherLarry, please take care and know that my thoughts and prayers--but no money whatsoever--go with you.
We shall miss our dear Brother Larry, shan't we, Sister Handmaiden? I'm not sure if that slant-eyed Communist nation even allows to penetrate their internet thingies. As they don't allow Youtube, what's to say they will allow to come to them? Hopefully we will all be able to stay in contact with our darling Brother Larry, but it might be a challenge. But I know I shall always think of him as I am carefully dusting my mother's pretty epergnes.

A blessed day to you, dear Handmaiden,
Sincerely, Isabella W.




(Mrs.) Isabella White

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