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Default Female Co-Worker Claims to Be Growing Testicle!? - 10-19-2016, 11:59 PM

Okay, this woman that I used to work with--nutty space cadet, insists she "knows" the Bible and that it's misogynistic and barbaric--commented that she had a lump of some kind in her external lady parts and said something about growing a testicle.

So, I have to ask two questions. Is it possible for a female to grow a testicle? And what possible lady part could be "external"? Is that even a thing?


I, personally, try to keep as much distance between me and my lady parts as possible, so I don't really know what she's talking about.


Perplexedly Yours,


Handmaiden


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Default Re: Female Co-Worker Claims to Be Growing Testicle!? - 10-20-2016, 05:04 AM

It's likely a lymphedama. Common among women, given that many are overweight (or even obese) to begin with.

No, women cannot grow testicles. That would confuse God's order.

Genesis 5:2 "Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created."

She likely was experimenting with her box, and God rightfully smited her. She should be ashamed of herself and ask Him for forgiveness.

Praise Jesus that you do not entertain even looking at your naughty bits!


In Christ



Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

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Jesus Re: Female Co-Worker Claims to Be Growing Testicle!? - 10-20-2016, 05:02 PM

God always says it best:
2 Peter 3:16
As also in all his epistles, speaking in them of these things; in which are some things hard to be understood, which they that are unlearned and unstable wrest, as they do also the other scriptures, unto their own destruction.

What doubt can anyone have after reading that?


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Cool Re: Female Co-Worker Claims to Be Growing Testicle!? - 10-20-2016, 05:06 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Harold Porter View Post
It's likely a lymphedama. Common among women, given that many are overweight (or even obese) to begin with.

No, women cannot grow testicles. That would confuse God's order.

Genesis 5:2 "Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created."

She likely was experimenting with her box, and God rightfully smited her. She should be ashamed of herself and ask Him for forgiveness.

Praise Jesus that you do not entertain even looking at your naughty bits!


In Christ

Nonsense.

In Jewish tradition female masturbation is allowed when it’s for exploring oneself and one’s sexual feelings, a Jewish author named Grunberg said. It is valuable for gaining knowledge about the different parts of your anatomy through touch, which is needed to be a sexually knowledgeable women in order to communicate without fear your sexual needs to your partner.
Grunberg also stated that women exploring their beautiful labia and clitoris may keep them from having premarital sex, since many women have strong sex drives (some even stronger than men).
This woman is not suffering any punishment from G_d. G_d has many more important things to do than watch the millions of women who masturbate EVERY DAY without harm to themselves or others. The woman should consult with a good doctor and ensure there is no harm to her body. May she have a good and long life.


A half truth is a whole lie.
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Default Re: Female Co-Worker Claims to Be Growing Testicle!? - 10-20-2016, 05:28 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael Hezekiah Esq View Post
Nonsense.

In Jewish tradition female masturbation is allowed when it’s for exploring oneself and one’s sexual feelings, a Jewish author named Grunberg said. It is valuable for gaining knowledge about the different parts of your anatomy through touch, which is needed to be a sexually knowledgeable women in order to communicate without fear your sexual needs to your partner.
Grunberg also stated that women exploring their beautiful labia and clitoris may keep them from having premarital sex, since many women have strong sex drives (some even stronger than men).
This woman is not suffering any punishment from G_d. G_d has many more important things to do than watch the millions of women who masturbate EVERY DAY without harm to themselves or others. The woman should consult with a good doctor and ensure there is no harm to her body. May she have a good and long life.

And what kind of joo talk is that - Ashkenazic, Sephardic, Karaite, Orthodox, Conservative, Reform, or Reconstructionis?

Quote the Torah or it didn't happen.


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brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Default Re: Female Co-Worker Claims to Be Growing Testicle!? - 10-20-2016, 08:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael Hezekiah Esq View Post
Nonsense.

In Jewish tradition female masturbation is allowed when it’s for exploring oneself and one’s sexual feelings, a Jewish author named Grunberg said.
Is that Abbie Grunberg who, when arrested, was found to have a porn collection of Biblical proportions?





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

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Default Re: Female Co-Worker Claims to Be Growing Testicle!? - 10-20-2016, 08:09 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by handmaiden View Post
Okay, this woman that I used to work with--nutty space cadet, insists she "knows" the Bible and that it's misogynistic and barbaric--commented that she had a lump of some kind in her external lady parts and said something about growing a testicle.

So, I have to ask two questions. Is it possible for a female to grow a testicle? And what possible lady part could be "external"? Is that even a thing?
I have a third question: why would anyone want to grow a single testicle? I mean, they usually come in pairs, unless you're planning to annex Poland or something.

YiC
Joanna


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Default Re: Female Co-Worker Claims to Be Growing Testicle!? - 10-21-2016, 12:37 AM

I thought it said she had a glowing testicle, and I was really worried. That would be really bad.


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Default Re: Female Co-Worker Claims to Be Growing Testicle!? - 10-21-2016, 04:47 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Harold Porter View Post

Praise Jesus that you do not entertain even looking at your naughty bits!

You betcha! I figure there's a reason why they're so far away from my head and generally so inaccessible.


It seems to me that the most Christian thing that I can do is to pretend like they're not even there.


In Denially Yours,


Handmaiden


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Default Re: Female Co-Worker Claims to Be Growing Testicle!? - 10-21-2016, 05:21 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by handmaiden View Post
You betcha! I figure there's a reason why they're so far away from my head and generally so inaccessible.


It seems to me that the most Christian thing that I can do is to pretend like they're not even there.


In Denially Yours,


Handmaiden
Amen Sister! I have known so many weak women that have contorted themselves, trying to reach themselves, orally.


And even more men that have fractured their vertebrae, in desperate attempts to achieve auto-fellatio.


Most are now quadriplegic and would ask Jesus to forgive them and give them one more chance to to not indulge in the filthy self-sin.


1 Corinthians 6:18 "Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body."


In Christ



Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

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Default Re: Female Co-Worker Claims to Be Growing Testicle!? - 10-21-2016, 01:59 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Harold Porter View Post
Amen Sister! I have known so many weak women that have contorted themselves, trying to reach themselves, orally.

It makes you wonder if the Lord wouldn't bless those who come up with some sort of surgical solution. All that a True Christian™ female really needs, is those parts that nudge out the petri dish for a husband to plant his seed in and a vessel full of dirt in which to grow the seed.


Seems to me that all those other parts are needlessly complicated and far too high maintenance given how little value they add to God's Great Plan.


Streamlinedly Yours,


Handmaiden


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Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Female Co-Worker Claims to Be Growing Testicle!? - 10-24-2016, 12:33 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael Hezekiah Esq View Post
Nonsense.

In Jewish tradition female masturbation is allowed when it’s for exploring oneself and one’s sexual feelings, a Jewish author named Grunberg said. It is valuable for gaining knowledge about the different parts of your anatomy through touch, which is needed to be a sexually knowledgeable women in order to communicate without fear your sexual needs to your partner.
Grunberg also stated that women exploring their beautiful labia and clitoris may keep them from having premarital sex, since many women have strong sex drives (some even stronger than men).
This woman is not suffering any punishment from G_d. G_d has many more important things to do than watch the millions of women who masturbate EVERY DAY without harm to themselves or others. The woman should consult with a good doctor and ensure there is no harm to her body. May she have a good and long life.
For shame! I'm a widow and heaven forbid, I have no warm feelings towards the marital act. My husband was a proper Christian man and our purpose of it was for procreating and for me to birth sons for Jesus! Also, your vulgar and explicit acts of harlotry are not fit for anyone's eyes, much less the young, unmarried Christian ladies on this site! Jesus will smite you for your vulgar and inappropriate thoughts as stated in 1 Corinthians 6:9-11.


"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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Default Re: Female Co-Worker Claims to Be Growing Testicle!? - 10-24-2016, 01:34 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael Hezekiah Esq View Post
beautiful labia and clitoris
I don't know what those things are, but if they are associated with someone's nether regions, I don't think they can be beautiful.


If they're part of a woman's nether regions, then there is a reason our Good Lord put them out of sight.


Staunchly Yours,


Handmaiden


His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

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Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Cool Re: Female Co-Worker Claims to Be Growing Testicle!? - 10-24-2016, 06:19 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson View Post
For shame! I'm a widow and heaven forbid, I have no warm feelings towards the marital act. My husband was a proper Christian man and our purpose of it was for procreating and for me to birth sons for Jesus! Also, your vulgar and explicit acts of harlotry are not fit for anyone's eyes, much less the young, unmarried Christian ladies on this site! Jesus will smite you for your vulgar and inappropriate thoughts as stated in 1 Corinthians 6:9-11.

Oh calm down sweetheart. Aren't you the one whose rogue preacher husband was murdered? And aren't you the one that my client Brother Larry was wanting to hook up with? He could do much better, apparently. It's ok to admit you enjoyed having sex with your husband, but if you truly didn't, perhaps it's because you haven't had the right guy.


A half truth is a whole lie.
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Default Re: Female Co-Worker Claims to Be Growing Testicle!? - 10-24-2016, 12:47 PM

Deuteronomy 22:5 The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God.

If God doesn't want you to even wear opposite sex clothes how could He make a perfect human with the wrong genitals happening on them? This woman is clearly deranged and should be referred to a pastor for demon removal.



Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

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