Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Godly Politics
Reload this Page The Landover Baptist Church Alternative Facts Handbook
Godly Politics Republican, Libertarian, Constitution Party, Christian Restoration Party welcome. No liberals or Demonrats allowed.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines

 
Posts: 79,781
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
flag The Landover Baptist Church Alternative Facts Handbook - 02-04-2018, 06:21 AM

Shout Glory! Praise Jesus, Donald Trump, Putin, our Mayor Johny Joe Hold and Me! After much deliberation we've finished our Alt Facts Handbook for y'all folks! NOW you can twist present the Facts of Life, Universe and Everything much better to the masses of homers and hamites. Covfefe. Study this pamphlet carefully and you'll sit even closer to Jesus when Rapture Time comes.



























Learn this by heart or writhe forever in


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Basilissa's Avatar
Basilissa Basilissa is offline
South of the Border outreach program
True Christian™
 

Friend of Jesus Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Flat Earth Persecuted Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club Bronze Tither Paula Deen Negro Support Group One Year/1000 posts Touched by Jesus In Love With Zeke TC Bravery 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Christian Love Mower Roper Crossburn Guns, Guts and GLORY! Mission to Korea True Christian Lady Ex-eurotrash Landover Mission to The Mexican Realms Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Saved 1 Year 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Cup of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Crown of Incorruptibility BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 5 Years Glory GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ

 
Posts: 11,560
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Love Jesus Re: The Landover Baptist Church Alternative Facts Handbook - 02-04-2018, 05:14 PM

Thank you, Pastor, for this very informative pamphlet. The entire Christian faith is based on alternative facts (such as 6-day creation of the world, flood that covered the whole flat earth, Jonah living in the belly of a fish and not getting dissolved by stomach acids, Jesus' life and temporary death, etc). Apostle Paul masterfully captured the essence of alternative facts in his first letter to Corinthians:

1 Corinthians 3:18-20
18 Let no man deceive himself. If any man among you seemeth to be wise in this world, let him become a fool, that he may be wise.
19 For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, He taketh the wise in their own craftiness.
20 And again, The Lord knoweth the thoughts of the wise, that they are vain.

1 Corinthians 4:9-10
9 For I think that God hath set forth us the apostles last, as it were appointed to death: for we are made a spectacle unto the world, and to angels, and to men.
10 We are fools for Christ's sake, but ye are wise in Christ; we are weak, but ye are strong; ye are honourable, but we are despised.

Yes! let the whole world laugh at us for believing in alternative facts! We will be the ones laughing last, when all of these people will be scorched in the eternal hellfire!

Praise for giving us all of these alternative facts to live our lives by!
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Ezekiel Bathfire's Avatar
Ezekiel Bathfire Ezekiel Bathfire is offline
Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
Christ's Rottweiler
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Christian Love Real American™ Tithing Manager Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Scientist™ Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Senior Pastor Teabag Patriot TC Bravery Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Ex-Brit Eats the Most Pork True Republican Ex-eurotrash Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Nuts for JESUS! Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Mower Donald Trump 2016! Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Bathfire Crown of Life Alternative Facts Probing for Jesus 20,000 posts Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ

 
Posts: 21,587
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: The Landover Baptist Church Alternative Facts Handbook - 02-04-2018, 06:18 PM

There are, out there, liberals, who use "alternative to mean "expensive, stupid, inefficient" as in "alternative fuels". These usually consist of Solar panels in Newfoundland or 600 foot windmills that will take a day or two to charge your phone and then fall over in flames. Another "alternative fuel" is methane from cow's asses- I'm not sure anyone but a hippy would want to eat things cooked with "cow-gas".

I point this out as the correct meaning is given in "Websters American Dictionary of The English Language" (1832) http://webstersdictionary1828.com/ it is a Bible based dictionary and gives

Quote:
Alternative

ALTERN'ATIVE,
adjective Offering a choice of two things.

ALTERN'ATIVE, noun That which may be chosen or omitted; a choice of two things, so that if one is taken, the other must be left. Thus, when two things offer a choice of one only, the two things are called alternatives. In strictness, then, the word can not be applied to more than two things, and when one thing only is offered for choice, it is said there is no alternative.
As an example, it gives
Quote:
Between these alternatives there is no middle ground.
A hint - if a hint were needed - that references "Re:3:16: So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth." and that we should choose the Godly alternative because that will be better and right, not least of all because we know what we're getting.


(And whilst considering that, I suggest a visit to http://webstersdictionary1828.com/Bible)





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
H. Montague Worthington's Avatar
H. Montague Worthington H. Montague Worthington is offline
True Christian™ Entrepreneur
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Saved 5 Years Saved 10 Years Christian Love True Christian™ Platinum Tither Real American™ Ribfest '05 True Heterosexual™ Long service medal, 1st class Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once TC Bravery Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life True Republican Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Anti-sodomy

 
Posts: 2,691
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Leviticus Landing Gated Community, Freehold IA
H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: The Landover Baptist Church Alternative Facts Handbook - 02-14-2018, 01:20 AM

PRAISE!!!
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Jeb Stuart Thurmond's Avatar
Jeb Stuart Thurmond Jeb Stuart Thurmond is offline
Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
 

Public Awareness Medal One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Saved 5 Years Gold Tither Heaven Bound TC Bravery TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Tagging for Jesus Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork True Republican Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Hatchet Child Rearing Award Touched by Jesus Alternative Facts Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ

 
Posts: 6,244
Join Date: Jun 2007
Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: The Landover Baptist Church Alternative Facts Handbook - 11-07-2019, 01:33 AM

Some alternative facts about the Devils weed might be a good idea.
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Dennis Lukes's Avatar
Dennis Lukes Dennis Lukes is offline
Innkeeper for Christ
True Christian™

Friend of Jesus Protected by JESUS Wall of Jesus True Christian™ Christian Love Ex-Masturbator Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Inn Keeper for Christ Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars

 
Posts: 1,049
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: Podunk, Nebraska
Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: The Landover Baptist Church Alternative Facts Handbook - 11-08-2019, 03:17 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond View Post
Some alternative facts about the Devils weed might be a good idea.
Well, for starters we know that it's highly addictive. Furthermore, it only takes a few "blunts" to fatally overdose.


"No room for them in the inn" (Luke 2:7)?
Not if they'd come to the Blood of Christ Motel!
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
Isabella White's Avatar
Isabella White Isabella White is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Anti-abortion Ready for the Rapture True Christian Lady Cleanest Kitchen Trumpette True Christian Granny Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Best stoning bucket Real American™ Teabag Patriot Trump of GOD Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College Stamp of Approval Born again virgin Most Obedient Barney BFF of Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound TC Bravery Friend of Jesus

 
Posts: 1,916
Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: Ungodly Buffalo, NY, MAGA USA
Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: The Landover Baptist Church Alternative Facts Handbook - 11-08-2019, 03:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes View Post
Well, for starters we know that it's highly addictive. Furthermore, it only takes a few "blunts" to fatally overdose.
Amen, dear Brother Lukes. Amen! We need to take a tougher stance on this. Thanks to the Obummer days, LIE-beralism and eased attitudes have eaten their way into the fabric of our sane and sanctified society. We must stand together and defeat this trend of accepted usage of maryjuanna.

A blessed evening to you, Dear Brother,
Sincerely, Isabella W.



Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
I Man Rastafari's Avatar
I Man Rastafari I Man Rastafari is offline
Possibly retarded pothead
 

Caution - Poster is on Drugs Negroe Poster Pot Head Thieving Nigra Rapist Caution - Poster is on Drugs Stalker Caution - Poster is Crazy Baggie Democrat Jafaican One Year/1000 posts

 
Posts: 1,001
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Here in Babylon
I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: The Landover Baptist Church Alternative Facts Handbook - 11-08-2019, 03:57 PM

Greetings!

I must confess that it is no surprise to I that the white people are so badly mistaken about the ganja. Ganja is the Lamb's Bread which was sent by Jah for use in communing with him because it induces a state of relaxation and contentment that Jah is comfortable with. It grows in the earth like the food Jah has set aside for us and it is food for the mind. If the white people would use the ganja while praying to Jah and seeking guidance everyone would be more content. This is why the people of my home which is Jamaica have become some of the leading intellectuals here on Earth. The ganja will illuminate the slavish mentality and make everyone more in touch with Jah. That would be very good for everyone.

Jah Guide!
Trevor


Sing unto God, sing praises to his name: Extol him that rideth upon the heavens By his name JAH, and rejoice before him.-Psalms 68:4
Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
Isabella White's Avatar
Isabella White Isabella White is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Anti-abortion Ready for the Rapture True Christian Lady Cleanest Kitchen Trumpette True Christian Granny Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Best stoning bucket Real American™ Teabag Patriot Trump of GOD Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College Stamp of Approval Born again virgin Most Obedient Barney BFF of Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound TC Bravery Friend of Jesus

 
Posts: 1,916
Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: Ungodly Buffalo, NY, MAGA USA
Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: The Landover Baptist Church Alternative Facts Handbook - 11-08-2019, 04:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by I Man Rastafari View Post
Greetings!

I must confess that it is no surprise to I that the white people are so badly mistaken about the ganja. Ganja is the Lamb's Bread which was sent by Jah for use in communing with him because it induces a state of relaxation and contentment that Jah is comfortable with. It grows in the earth like the food Jah has set aside for us and it is food for the mind. If the white people would use the ganja while praying to Jah and seeking guidance everyone would be more content. This is why the people of my home which is Jamaica have become some of the leading intellectuals here on Earth. The ganja will illuminate the slavish mentality and make everyone more in touch with Jah. That would be very good for everyone.

Jah Guide!
Trevor
Dear Mr. Rastafari: If by "the ganja", you are referring to that sinful plant that is commonly known as maryjuana, then I am afraid, most decidedly, that you are mistaken. Just as Eve was deceived by the devilish serpent by believing the lie that it was permissible to eat forbidden fruit, then so are you deceived by the Satanic demon that is telling you that it's fine and dandy to partake of this abominable plant. But, as you are full of rebellion, it is of no surprise that the devil has tricked you with such ease.

II Corinthians 11:14 "And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light."

Now, then, young man, I suggest, very strongly, that you study the attachment that I am leaving. As you cannot seem to find enough interest to search the wondrous for the truth in this matter, then perhaps this photo will be worth at least a thousand words to you.

Sincerely, Isabella W.



Reply With Quote
(#10)
Old
Dana723's Avatar
Dana723 Dana723 is online now
Forum member
Forum Member

Protected by JESUS Cleanest Kitchen True Christian Caucasian Ready for the Rapture Pro-Life Kirk Cameron Fan Club Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus

 
Posts: 712
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: The greatest country in the world - United States!
Dana723 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDana723 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDana723 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDana723 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDana723 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDana723 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDana723 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDana723 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDana723 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDana723 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDana723 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: The Landover Baptist Church Alternative Facts Handbook - 11-09-2019, 12:15 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by I Man Rastafari View Post
Ganja is the Lamb's Bread which was sent by Jah for use in communing with him because it induces a state of relaxation and contentment that Jah is comfortable with.
Jah may like you to be relaxed, but God does not! In fact, He tells us to STAY VIGILANT so that we may see the devil coming.


Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: 1 Peter 5:8


Psalm 62:5-7 KJV
My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defence;
I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
alternative facts, donald trump, facts

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2018 all rights reserved