Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Creation Science
Reload this Page Brother Elmer, Please?
Creation Science The origins of life and the earth from a creationist (Biblical) perspective.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Naomi Ruth Lamb's Avatar
Naomi Ruth Lamb Naomi Ruth Lamb is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Ready for the Rapture Friend of Jesus Pro-Life Best Pie True Christian™ Cleanest Kitchen True Christian Lady Prayer Warrior True Christian Homemaker Most Obedient Best stoning bucket True Christian Beauty Paula Deen Negro Support Group TC Bravery Early riser Proud Niglet Sponsorer In Love With Zeke Persecuted Real American™ The Lord’s Witness Wound TC Bravery Touched by Jesus Heart of compassion True Republican Christian Love Kirk Cameron Fan Club Stamp of Approval BFF of Jesus Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD Asked questions later Pie Saved 1 Year

 
Posts: 991
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: 1380 Apostle's Park Ct, Freehold
Naomi Ruth Lamb has bribed people to get these reputation points.Naomi Ruth Lamb has bribed people to get these reputation points.Naomi Ruth Lamb has bribed people to get these reputation points.Naomi Ruth Lamb has bribed people to get these reputation points.Naomi Ruth Lamb has bribed people to get these reputation points.Naomi Ruth Lamb has bribed people to get these reputation points.Naomi Ruth Lamb has bribed people to get these reputation points.Naomi Ruth Lamb has bribed people to get these reputation points.Naomi Ruth Lamb has bribed people to get these reputation points.Naomi Ruth Lamb has bribed people to get these reputation points.Naomi Ruth Lamb has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Love Jesus Brother Elmer, Please? - 03-24-2017, 02:27 AM

Greetings, Professor White:


I am told you will provide a reference for BrotherLarry, who might be a future tenant of mine. While the title of True Christian™ is more than enough, I am not well acquainted with this strapping young man and hoped that you might be familiar with his character as it would relate to work and dedication to tasks with which he is presented.


Should you prefer to respond privately, that is fine. I would like to personally welcome you to Naomi's Moist Pie and sample anything with my compliments. Thank you for all you do to educate the fine young men at Landover University.


Christ's Pure, Sparkling Ray of Sunshine,
NRL


PS: I would love to send a sizable donation to support your research. Where shall I direct the funds? It would be an honor to have a Naomi Ruth Lamb wing somewhere on campus.


1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Elmer G. White's Avatar
Elmer G. White Elmer G. White is offline
Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology)
Victim of atheist scientific persecution
 

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Friend of Jesus Christian Love True Christian™ Touched by Jesus Persecuted Honorary Ex-Eskimo Ex-Scandinavian Ex-eurotrash True Scientist™ 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Doctor Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture Flat Earth Prayer Warrior Ex-Masturbator Tell her once True Christian Caucasian Real American™ Porn Resistant The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking One Year/1000 posts 2014 Witch Hunt Award Mower Mission to Korea Uber Angels Driver Trump of GOD Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Mission to Messico Saved 1 Year Platinum Tither Eats the Most Pork True Heterosexual™ 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory BFF of Jesus Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Alternative Facts True Christian Nerd GLORY Saved 5 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Get Behind Me Doctor - NO TEAM FORTRESS! Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor

 
Posts: 10,328
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Lightbulb Re: Brother Elmer, Please? - 03-24-2017, 07:15 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb View Post
Greetings, Professor White:

I am told you will provide a reference for BrotherLarry, who might be a future tenant of mine. While the title of True Christian™ is more than enough, I am not well acquainted with this strapping young man and hoped that you might be familiar with his character as it would relate to work and dedication to tasks with which he is presented.

Should you prefer to respond privately, that is fine. I would like to personally welcome you to Naomi's Moist Pie and sample anything with my compliments. Thank you for all you do to educate the fine young men at Landover University.

Christ's Pure, Sparkling Ray of Sunshine,
NRL

PS: I would love to send a sizable donation to support your research. Where shall I direct the funds? It would be an honor to have a Naomi Ruth Lamb wing somewhere on campus.
To Whom It May Concern

This testimony is the result of much prayer and meticulous study of the Glorious Books of 1-2 Corinthians.

This is to testify that Brother Larry, whom I am supervising in his PhD Dissertation in Creation Science, is a True Christian™ man of good reputation ever since his becoming a new Creature (2 Corinthians 5:17) in Christ. He is a hard-working youth who has memorized several Bible verses by heart and has the rare gift of being able to teach the Word of God also to sinners (1 Corinthians 12:29).

If Brother Larry ever harbored any unnatural urges, I can now assure that they have been washed clean in the Blood of Jesus Christ (1 Corinthians 6:11). This has also been anatomically testified by several other young men after some equine play and locker-room examinations based on the principles of Creation Science (Bogaert & Hershberger 1999). Brother Larry is of the small measure that all naturally fornicating married Christian men are. He has also avoided the lures of harlotry (1 Corinthians 6:16).

I write this in good Faith™ that the financial transactions between Brother Larry and a possible True Christian™ Landlady will not jeopardize his substantial tithing program in praise of Jesus and Landover University. I also urge all partners in this transaction to allocate more funds to the men's restroom redecoration program that is an ongoing project to Praise God and Jesus. It is quite feasible that the names of generous donors be placed on the doors of one or more cubicles depending on the amount of tithing.

In summary, it is my pleasure to recommend Brother Larry as a True Christian™ tenant.

Caveat: Due to Brother Larry's shoveling duties on the Flint Mansion grounds (all LBU students take part in the maintenance of Pastor Flint's Mansion), it is strongly advised that he take a shower and change his outfit before entering his lodgings as the stench of equine digestion products is sometimes quite overwhelming (1 Corinthians 12:17).

This is True™ testimony so Help me God and Jesus!

Yours in Christ,

Elmer G. White



Matthew 5:33
Again, ye have heard that it hath been said by them of old time, Thou shalt not forswear thyself, but shalt perform unto the Lord thine oaths:



Yours in Christ,

Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
BrotherLarry's Avatar
BrotherLarry BrotherLarry is offline
Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™

Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian™ Ready for the Rapture Porn Resistant Persecuted One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Ex-Masturbator Friend of Jesus Gnathologist Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Stamp of Approval Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork TC Bravery True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Touched by Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Ex-Mary Worshipper Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Super Soaker Baptism Award Pastor Ezekiel Sons of Liberty Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD Asked questions later Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud Team Fortress Denier

 
Posts: 2,395
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Prodigal Son of Godless NYC.
BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Jesus Re: Brother Elmer, Please? - 03-24-2017, 06:28 PM

Professor Dr. Brother Elmer,


I am humbled by your kind words and determined to live up to them. It is so important for True Christian™ men to maintain a solid and upstanding legacy and I have done all I can to erect this edifice I was given into a bright and shining beacon and temple for God's glory.


If my application for residency is ever approved (I just sent another $30,000 to the tithing committee for residence approvals), I hope you'll come by my home and we can do research well into the night. So much to explore and so little time!


COME, LORD JESUS!
BrotherLarry


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved