[campbellsoup]

why yes, i am going to burn in hell, but hell wasn't described as a firey hell in the bible, was it? i thought that came straight out of Dante's divine trilogy. and i have not yet practiced sodomy pastor- i currently have a boyfriend.

[Levi Jones]

Originally Posted by campbellsoup

why yes, i am going to burn in hell, but hell wasn't described as a firey hell in the bible, was it? i thought that came straight out of Dante's divine trilogy. and i have not yet practiced sodomy pastor- i currently have a boyfriend.

Um no.. learning about Christianity from Cracked is not a good way to go about it.

Revelation 21 8But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

Revelation 19 20And the beast was taken, and with him the false prophet that wrought miracles before him, with which he deceived them that had received the mark of the beast, and them that worshipped his image. These both were cast alive into a lake of fire burning with brimstone.

Matthew 13 41The Son of man shall send forth his angels, and they shall gather out of his kingdom all things that offend, and them which do iniquity;
42And shall cast them into a furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth.

[Levi Jones]

Originally Posted by campbellsoup

why yes, i am going to burn in hell, but hell wasn't described as a firey hell in the bible, was it? i thought that came straight out of Dante's divine trilogy.

Um no.. learning about Christianity from Cracked is not a good way to go about it.

Revelation 21 8But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

Revelation 19 20And the beast was taken, and with him the false prophet that wrought miracles before him, with which he deceived them that had received the mark of the beast, and them that worshipped his image. These both were cast alive into a lake of fire burning with brimstone.

Matthew 13 41The Son of man shall send forth his angels, and they shall gather out of his kingdom all things that offend, and them which do iniquity;
42And shall cast them into a furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth.

Originally Posted by campbellsoup

and i have not yet practiced sodomy pastor- i currently have a boyfriend.

Ah, good to read. My apologies. I must have confused you with someone else whining about our treatment of the LGBT community.

[campbellsoup]

Originally Posted by Levi Jones

Um no.. learning about Christianity from Cracked is not a good way to go about it.

Revelation 21 8But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

Revelation 19 20And the beast was taken, and with him the false prophet that wrought miracles before him, with which he deceived them that had received the mark of the beast, and them that worshipped his image. These both were cast alive into a lake of fire burning with brimstone.

Matthew 13 41The Son of man shall send forth his angels, and they shall gather out of his kingdom all things that offend, and them which do iniquity;
42And shall cast them into a furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth.




Ah, good to read. My apologies. I must have confused you with someone else whining about our treatment of the LGBT community.

i was not implying that i learned anything from dante except that he wrote a fantastic work of literature. i had just never read that in the bible. so do you base your sermons off of fear like john edwards then?

[campbellsoup]

oh and yes, i do disagree strongly with your treatment of gays and lesbians, but i am not here to cause problems, nor have i posted on any thread involving that.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by campbellsoup

oh and yes, i do disagree strongly with your treatment of gays and lesbians,

Who cares what you think? We go along with what God says, not some punk kid.

Lev.18:22
Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.

Lev.20:13
If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

Originally Posted by campbellsoup

but i am not here to cause problems, nor have i posted on any thread involving that.

Why are you here?

[campbellsoup]

well i am not trying to inflict my belief onto you, so there is no need for the name calling pastor. and i am here of my own free will, i am allowed to want to learn more about your community and what you stand for am i not?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by campbellsoup

well i am not trying to inflict my belief onto you, so there is no need for the name calling pastor. and i am here of my own free will, i am allowed to want to learn more about your community and what you stand for am i not?

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[Levi Jones]

Originally Posted by campbellsoup

do you base your sermons off of fear like john edwards then?

No, I simply teach the entire Bible. I do consider Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God to be a beautiful example of True Christian™ preaching. Edwards was a master.

Can you imagine how loud he would have needed to be for an entire crowded church to hear him with no PA? To go on that long that loud without losing your voice... I tried it once, but I couldn't get through three minutes of it before my voice was shot.

[DanishAtheistScum]

Originally Posted by A Follower

So the part where God creates the universe, earth and mankind is not real to you? You don't believe earth exists? You don't believe you exist?

Wow, you must be the stupidest heathen I've ever encountered.

Not really, if I dont believe in Genesis of KJV1611, what do I then believe in? Science is no religion, but its that I know is true. go Big Bang.

I know I exist, because i can see myself. Psychologically I know i exist, because I can think. I know I exist, because i can do, whatever i want to do.

According to being stupid, that is your opion, your opinion is flawed and hateful, my opion is directly reverse, I know how smart I am, and I know how stupid I am.
I have no opinion about you, because I dont know you, and I have no prejudice, and I dont judge the unknown.

Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe

To enhance Billy Bob here Harry Potter is a fully real character. Even the setting is absurd; England. There is no such place in real life with people driving on the wrong side of the road and drinking warm beer.

Christ however did live in 1st Century Judah. That was a very real place. So how can you just say "oh that part is fiction"?

Your ignorancy = this quote.
IM sorry Bobby Joe. but even the author of Harry potter, Mrs. Rowling says its all plain made up stories about a magician.

Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins

So, you're saying you can believe whatever you want because Harry Potter isn't real? How does that make any sense?

Yes I can believe whatever I want to, because it makes sense to me. In my life I've never encountered anything supernatural, so why should I believe in things that are supernatural? If I ever see god appear to me, in lifeforms of a human being, doing supernatural things, such as creating life, I would become a christian. BUT - Science makes sense, because their theories are true. They experiment, they get facts, that are consistent with life(such as evolution, gravity, the earth is a ball, the weather, etc..)

[James R Miller]

Look at this book that was written by a fellow named "Skrotuhm Lykker".

Scrotum 1

1 In the beginning, Skrotuhm Lykker created the Heaven and a ton of planets. 2 He shaped the planets spherically because it looked like His testicles and He was pleased by this.
3 On the Earth, He created a human in his image.
4 The human had testicles as enormous as his, and a penis that was 7 inches.
5 He then created a hot girl for him to bone, and commanded him to make babby.
6 He explained to the couple that they were in the garden of penis, but not to touch His stash of playboys in the middle of the garden or he'd get pissed.
7 A giant penis crawled along the ground and said to the man, "go look at it and masturbate furiously, he'll never know."
8 But Skrotuhm saw and got pissed, then skydived down to Earth and kicked their asses.
9 And then he made a lot more people and sent Angels with flaming swords to guard his playboys.
10 Then he wrote this book.
11 Oh yeah, and his word is infallible, so he seriously wrote it.
12 And if you say otherwise your penis will fall off.

Now as you see here, Skrotuhm's word is infallible, and he wrote this book. So it obviously happened.

I hope you see how dumb your logic is.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Look at what God says about you and your false prophet in the pages of the Holy Bible:

Jude 1:17 But, beloved, remember ye the words which were spoken before of the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ;
1:18 How that they told you there should be mockers in the last time, who should walk after their own ungodly lusts.
1:19 These be they who separate themselves, sensual, having not the Spirit.

Denying the existence of God is not unbelief but an exercise in self-deception. You may know things, but you cannot account for anything you know. Arguing against God's existence would be on par with arguing against the existence of air, breathing it all the while. You use the universal, immaterial, unchanging laws of logic, mathematics, science, and absolute morality in order to come to rational decisions, but you cannot account for them. These laws are not the only way God has revealed himself to you, but they are sufficient to show the irrationality of your thinking, and expose your guilt for denying Him.

There is a reason that you deny the existence of God and it has nothing to do with proof. I can show this to you. Do you think that you can continue to deny God because surely somewhere, sometime, a philosopher or scientist will come up with an explanation for universal, immaterial, unchanging laws apart from God?' Did you ever try to come up with an alternate explanation on your own?

Hoping that an alternate explanation for universal, immaterial, unchanging laws can someday be found apart from God, is a blind leap of faith, or wishful thinking. Isn't it interesting that this is exactly what professed unbelievers accuse Christians of?

Please examine the real reasons why you are running from God. It is my prayer that God will open your eyes and change your heart so that you may be saved from your sin, embraced by His ferocious love, and that you will tithe robustly to God's favorite church, Landover Baptist.

[James R Miller]

I believe in God, but the logic you use is just so dumb.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by James R Miller

I believe in God, but the logic you use is just so dumb.

The Bible doesn't tell us to use logic! What kind of nonsense is that? All you have to do is to obey all of the commandments in the Holy Bible.

Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature? - Matthew 6:25

[James R Miller]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

The Bible doesn't tell us to use logic! What kind of nonsense is that? All you have to do is to obey all of the commandments in the Holy Bible.

The Bible doesn't say video games exist either, but they do.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by James R Miller

The Bible doesn't say video games exist either, but they do.

Now who's being illogical?

I didn't say that logic doesn't exist. I said that God does not tell us to use it in order to obey Him.

That requires faith. If you were a Christian, you'd know that.


Please make a thread of your own in the "Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.

And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself.

[Cranky Old Man]

Originally Posted by James R Miller

The Bible doesn't say video games exist either, but they do.

That they are not in the Holy Bible means you can safely ignore them as they are not relevant for getting into Heaven.

[James R Miller]

Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man

That they are not in the Holy Bible means you can safely ignore them as they are not relevant for getting into Heaven.

The Bible doesn't say you can't have fun. Lighten up.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by James R Miller

The Bible doesn't say you can't have fun.

Jesus has an excellent sense of humor. He laughs His loving ass off at the unrepentant sinners while they get tortured down in hell.

"He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh: the LORD shall have them in derision." Psalm 2:4

Originally Posted by James R Miller

Lighten up.

Jimmy, how old are you? I'm going to guess 12.

[RomanK]

without logic or rational thought we would still be using stone tools. And the Bible would cease to exist.