[Nobar King]

LBC has developed an in-depth (and constantly evolving) obscenity risk analysis matrix, and one of the services we provide to our members is comparing that matrix to proposed artistic works, and evaluating their content — thus giving our members an honest evaluation of how much risk is involved. Whether to watch the work or not then becomes a personal risk tolerance decision. We don't always say “don’t watch this.” We don’t serve as a censor. On the other hand, I will occasionally say to a member “this presents a very high risk. Be ready to protect yourself.”

Any members with questions about watching certain programmes are welcome to ask them here, or bring original material around to the Pastor's office.

[Trent Harvey, Jr.]

Maybe this deserves a thread of it's own, but I'd like to see some of the geniuses of math and statistics we have here to create a "slut-out countdown" for young female celebrities.

It's a known fact that any young female celebrity, no matter how patriotic and Christian, will at some point collapse into a stripping, moaning, dripping harlot. The key to safe family entertainment is to be able to calculate ahead of time when this slutpocalypse will occur.

How long before Miley Cyrus becomes a wanton whore? How many days until we see Hillary Duff on youtube, being bukkaked by a herd of horses? At what point will Emma Watson's nipple slip and upskirt photos be rendered obsolete by video of her being gangbanged and double-penetration fisted by viagra-overdosed black midgets with

Okay, you get my point. We need our families to be safe. We need to know all this, in the name of safe family entertainment.

[Nobar King]

That's an excellent suggestion, brother Trent, I will add the slut-out countdown to the analysis protocols.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Originally Posted by Trent Harvey, Jr.

How long before Miley Cyrus becomes a wanton whore?

How fortunate you are, being in Iraq, the land of innosence, instead of America, land of socialism, atheism, and sluttery:






How long until we see Miley Cyus gangbanged by a drunk posse of crack-smoking 12-inch endowed midgets who take a special zinc pill to increase the size and stickiness of their semen? Well, that depends on how long it takes to organize a gangbang featuring a drunk posse of crack-smoking 12-inch endowed midgets who take a special zinc pill to increase the size and stickiness of their semen.

[Bobby-Joe]

The pastors have done some great work on this Obscenity Risk program. You should see the piles of DVDs and videos they have poured threw to get the matrix going. Tip of the hat to all those involved.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond

How long until we see Miley Cyus gangbanged by a drunk posse of crack-smoking 12-inch endowed midgets who take a special zinc pill to increase the size and stickiness of their semen? Well, that depends on how long it takes to organize a gangbang featuring a drunk posse of crack-smoking 12-inch endowed midgets who take a special zinc pill to increase the size and stickiness of their semen.

So you're saying it will be on that disgusting "XTube" sometime next week?

I will be sure to set the church computer's filters to block any "Miley Cyrus" searches immediately!!

[Don the Baptist]

Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe

The pastors have done some great work on this Obscenity Risk program. You should see the piles of DVDs and videos they have poured threw to get the matrix going. Tip of the hat to all those involved.

Wow, praise Jesus! Thanks to the pastors - I can only imagine the sheer agony of poring over hour after hour of filth to develop this technology. Thanks again to the Godly pastoral staff of LBC. Praise, Praise, Praise...

[Nobar King]

The whole risk-analysis program is going great. How much smut have you seen online this month? Not much, right? Our people are hard at work.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

I have produced a two part flow chart guide to vileness on the intertubes, I would be obliged if you would cast your eye over it and give comments.

After scoring the picture, move to the second chart:

[Meek and Humble]

Quite frankly I believe every and all media to be completely evil. If it's not obviously evil, it exists only to take away time which could be better spent reading the Bible. God only wrote one book. I see no reason for the existence of any other book, movie, television show, music, or blog.

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

But the once Godless internets now have a wonderful place for Christians to show their commitment to the Lord. He does work in mysterious ways! Praise!

[Meek and Humble]

I suppose that much is true good brother.

I mean, without the internet I would not be able to use myspace and discover all the sins my neighbors are committing. I've been able to increase by reproaching and shunning tenfold!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Heathen_Basher

Quite frankly I believe every and all media to be completely evil. If it's not obviously evil, it exists only to take away time which could be better spent reading the Bible. God only wrote one book. I see no reason for the existence of any other book, movie, television show, music, or blog.

You seem quite judgemental for an wad of unsaved trash. I have yet to see you post one single verse from the Holy Bible to back up your point.

[Mistress Cookie]

Since being Saved™, I only allow myself to watch pre-Jazz Age silent films...and I do not read the title cards, just to be careful. (This makes following the plot occasionally difficult.)

The Mary Pickford films are generally safe. Lillian Gish is sometimes quite the little wild thing, though. However, she often dies at the end (as in La Boheme), so that's some consolation.

Has the system identified any particular silent titles as being especially dangerous? I bet there are many more like me out there, who have embraced The Olde Ways and want to remain unsullied for Christ.

Titus 2:5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient...that the word of God be not blasphemed.

[Nobar King]

Brother Godfly has proposed a Veggie Tales Filter (VTF) and I'm going to include it here in the LBC obscenity risk analysis matrix (LBC-o-RAM). This is a potentially useful add-on; I think parents are going to go for it.

[Dirk]

I am satisfied with it to be honest, it keeps my children healthy.

[Nobar King]

Brother Born Again Bob (God's Lil' Dumpling) has appointed himself Landover's Diversity Initiative chairman so he is the guy to talk to concerning racially discriminating media.

Don't bother complaining about "In the Heat of the Night" anymore. We already know how they try to promote uppity nigras and make the white man look like he's an idiot, as if there's a difference between people of different colors.

[wait_what]

I was wondering if I could get an analysis of the following:


First to go with my signature, I was considering the following picture:




An example of a woman causing sin for herself and other men wherever she goes as well as an epic example of a woman causing men to rape her.



Thoughts?

[Johny Joe Hold]

I'm a little concerned about that wedding they are all talking about in England.

It seems like there are little references to how "sexy" the bride is. Add to that the fact that they have been living together before marriage.

Perhaps some warning about "viewer discretion" would be in order for the next few days.

[BelieverInGod]

Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold

I'm a little concerned about that wedding they are all talking about in England.

It seems like there are little references to how "sexy" the bride is. Add to that the fact that they have been living together before marriage.

Perhaps some warning about "viewer discretion" would be in order for the next few days.

They've been living together?

I thought the princesses tokens of virginity had to be certified by the Royal Physician on her wedding day. Has the queen gone off her rocker?