Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow. |
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Anvil of the Antipodes
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Is my Pet cat Demon possessed? -
09-16-2007, 12:27 AM
Stranger than usual behavior from my strangely unusual cat, help?
I have a 2 year old Maine Coon Longhair who at birth seemed all male. He was neutered at 9 months. Earlier this year he had a large abdominal mass which his vet said was a tumor on one of his ovaries, so he was also spayed (I'm serious, the vet said this occurs in about 0.5% of apparently male cats).
Lately he's been stealing my left shoes and I think he's trying to fornicate with them. When I'm barefoot he wraps around my leg (left only, he has no interest in the right one), digs in his claws, starts licking my foot, biting my big toe and starts a humpin' and a bumpin'. He's a big cat (26 pounds) and very hard to fight off. He's also been raping my neighbor's male cat. The vet said he's never heard this about his other patients and can offer no solution and told me I have to "learn to live with my bi-sexual hermaphrocat and his foot fetish". I can't get him into another vet until late November and need a solution for this. I've tried cat repellent. It doesn't help, it just burns the bites and scratches.
Mother Glenndie what is your advice in this matter?
The devil, whose business is to pervert the truth, mimics the exact circumstance of the Divine Sacraments. He baptises his believers and promises forgiveness of sins...he celebrates the oblation of bread, and brings in the symbol of the resurrection. Let us therefore acknowledge the craftiness of the devil, who copied certain things of those that be divine." Tertullian (155-222 AD) from The Prescription Against Heretics' Ch XL
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Anvil of the Antipodes
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Re: Is my Pet cat Demon possessed? -
09-16-2007, 12:46 AM
Here's a picture of Rumpletuskin. Its hard to imagine his anti-Jesus behaviours.
The devil, whose business is to pervert the truth, mimics the exact circumstance of the Divine Sacraments. He baptises his believers and promises forgiveness of sins...he celebrates the oblation of bread, and brings in the symbol of the resurrection. Let us therefore acknowledge the craftiness of the devil, who copied certain things of those that be divine." Tertullian (155-222 AD) from The Prescription Against Heretics' Ch XL
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Re: Is my Pet cat Demon possessed? -
09-16-2007, 01:01 AM
Just drown it. It's just an animal after all.
Genesis 1:26
And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
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Re: Is my Pet cat Demon possessed? -
09-16-2007, 04:09 AM
Whether it's posessed or not, it sure looks like a 'cat demon'.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Re: Is my Pet cat Demon possessed? -
09-16-2007, 04:14 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Guy
Stranger than usual behavior from my strangely unusual cat, help?
I have a 2 year old Maine Coon Longhair who at birth seemed all male. He was neutered at 9 months. Earlier this year he had a large abdominal mass which his vet said was a tumor on one of his ovaries, so he was also spayed (I'm serious, the vet said this occurs in about 0.5% of apparently male cats).
Lately he's been stealing my left shoes and I think he's trying to fornicate with them. When I'm barefoot he wraps around my leg (left only, he has no interest in the right one), digs in his claws, starts licking my foot, biting my big toe and starts a humpin' and a bumpin'. He's a big cat (26 pounds) and very hard to fight off. He's also been raping my neighbor's male cat. The vet said he's never heard this about his other patients and can offer no solution and told me I have to "learn to live with my bi-sexual hermaphrocat and his foot fetish". I can't get him into another vet until late November and need a solution for this. I've tried cat repellent. It doesn't help, it just burns the bites and scratches.
Mother Glenndie what is your advice in this matter?
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That isn't a cat, you fool! It is SATAN's demon! After you drown it, go to an optometrist!
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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True Christian™
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Re: Is my Pet cat Demon possessed? -
09-16-2007, 06:22 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Guy
Here's a picture of Rumpletuskin. Its hard to imagine his anti-Jesus behaviours.
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Ooooh I have some idea of its behaviors, as we had a critter just like it slinking around the back yard a few years back. Then somebody let it into the house, and all hell broke loose! We had to call animal control finally, and it took two professionals wearing thick gloves to dislodge the thing's claws from the dining room drapes.
Well, they slapped the ... animal ... into a metal wire basket attached to a long pole and took it outside, and we could hear it screeching like a devil all the way down the walkway to the street where they had parked their van. Be sure to wear protective clothing and heavy work gloves while drowning it, Guy, you could get a nasty infection, you know! ...
... a scary experience, Sister Noddy
1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...
1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...
Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
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Re: Is my Pet cat Demon possessed? -
09-16-2007, 08:35 AM
Demon-possessed cats...yet another example of what the Clinton Administration has done to America.
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Anvil of the Antipodes
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Re: Is my Pet cat Demon possessed? -
09-16-2007, 12:26 PM
Thanks for your advice, Zeke and Noddy. I found some men willing to solve my demon cat problem.
As the Good Book says, Luke 11:9
And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.
After the legal entanglements have been cleared up, these men will be available for all manner of demonic pet cleansing.Send me an email, and I'll hook you up.
http://www.azcentral.com/community/p...ng0807-ON.html
Jordan LaPier
The Arizona Republic
Aug. 7, 2007 04:17 PM
Apache Junction police arrested two people Monday accused of intentionally drowning a cat in a swimming pool.
Jacalyn Bucho, 42, of Apache Junction, and Robert Bona, 49, of Peabody, Mass., were arrested on suspicion of felony animal cruelty after they allegedly drowned the cat in a swimming pool early Monday at their Apache Junction home, according to authorities.
Both were booked into Pinal County jail. Police said Bucho and Bona said they drowned the cat.
Should this be filed in the "Persecution of Christians" thread?
The devil, whose business is to pervert the truth, mimics the exact circumstance of the Divine Sacraments. He baptises his believers and promises forgiveness of sins...he celebrates the oblation of bread, and brings in the symbol of the resurrection. Let us therefore acknowledge the craftiness of the devil, who copied certain things of those that be divine." Tertullian (155-222 AD) from The Prescription Against Heretics' Ch XL
Last edited by Brother Guy Bayard; 09-16-2007 at 12:27 PM.
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Christ's Love Messenger
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Re: Is my Pet cat Demon possessed? -
09-16-2007, 02:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Guy
I have a 2 year old Maine Coon Longhair
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I'm not sure if it would apply to cats as well; but any darkie that comes from the northeast is nothing but trouble. Especially those with long hair. Could be your cat's on the crack pipe.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Re: Is my Pet cat Demon possessed? -
12-29-2018, 09:53 AM
By the image, I think really your cat may be demon possed and need to check up throughly and go to the church with the cat.
***feline furry porn image removed by your friendly moderator***
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Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
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Re: Is my Pet cat Demon possessed? -
12-29-2018, 09:14 PM
Did not bother to read a single word beyond the post title. Simple answer: Yes.
Simple explanation: All cats are demon possessed.
His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.
Guns For God and the Economy
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Innkeeper for Christ
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Re: Is my Pet cat Demon possessed? -
12-29-2018, 09:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by edwardmartin755
By the image, I think really your cat may be demon possed and need to check up throughly and go to the church with the cat.
***feline furry porn image removed by your friendly moderator***
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Dear idiot,
This thread is over 11 years old. Do you really think that this demonic creature is still alive and in need of your inept and unqualified advice? Before posting on this Godly forum again, I would recommend you keep Ecclesiastes 5:2 in mind.
Yours in Christ,
Dennis Lukes.
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