Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Promise Enforcers - Men Only!
Reload this Page Manly Jokes
Promise Enforcers - Men Only! We make Promise Keepers look like homers! No homosexuals or women allowed!

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#41)
Old
Sidoain's Avatar
Sidoain Sidoain is offline
Unsaved trash, Hatian with the AIDS!
 

Full of it Caution - Poster is on Drugs The AIDS

 
Posts: 173
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: in a public toilet stall
Sidoain is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Sidoain is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Sidoain is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Sidoain is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Sidoain is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Manly Jokes - 07-28-2010, 07:47 PM

What do we have that Adam never had?

Ancestors



Leviticus 18:23 Neither shalt thou lie with any beast to defile thyself therewith: neither shall any woman stand before a beast to lie down thereto: it is confusion.
Reply With Quote
(#42)
Old
Benedict A. Davis's Avatar
Benedict A. Davis Benedict A. Davis is offline
Winning Souls in his Winnebago
True Christian™

True Christian™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Silver Tither One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus Christian Love Flat Earth Tell her once Real American™ Persecuted Teabag Patriot Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award

 
Posts: 3,893
Join Date: May 2010
Location: travelling the heartland in my Winnebago.
Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Manly Jokes - 07-28-2010, 08:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sidoain View Post
What do we have that Adam never had?

Ancestors

What we have that you never will?

A future


1 Chronicles 16:15
Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.

Reply With Quote
(#43)
Old
iluvdarwin's Avatar
iluvdarwin iluvdarwin is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 27
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: on my knees for Jesus and Pastor Zeke
iluvdarwin is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.iluvdarwin is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.iluvdarwin is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.iluvdarwin is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.iluvdarwin is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Manly Jokes - 07-28-2010, 08:36 PM

Jesus walks into a bar, lies 3 nails on the counter and asks, "Can you put me up for the night?"
Reply With Quote
(#44)
Old
landoverlover's Avatar
landoverlover landoverlover is offline
Also loves Jesus and America
True Christian™

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once True Christian Provider™ award Punched the most queers One Year/1000 posts Porn Resistant Pro-Life Persecuted

 
Posts: 820
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Lone Christian in pagan Oregon
landoverlover has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelandoverlover has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelandoverlover has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelandoverlover has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelandoverlover has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelandoverlover has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelandoverlover has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelandoverlover has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelandoverlover has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelandoverlover has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelandoverlover has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Manly Jokes - 08-02-2010, 08:06 AM

Guy gets a call to go to the hospital - his wife had been in a horrible car accident.

The doctor calls him aside and says, "I'm sorry to have to tell you that your wife will be in a semi-vegetative state for the rest of her life." The guy is shocked and feels faint. The doctor says, "She will need around-the-clock care. Your wife will not be able to control her bowels. Unless she has complete facial reconstruction there will be a great deal of her skull visible. Because of brain damage she will have bouts of uncontrollable violent seizures. She will be unable to speak except for shrieks and grunting. You will have to spoon-feed her baby food. Sex will be out of the question."

By now the guy is ready to pass out with panic and feels the room spin. The doc continues, "And I'm sorry to tell you that your insurance won't cover any long-term care, which will be about $600,000 each year."

This is just too much. The guy starts to collapse to the floor when the doctor starts laughing, and says, "Hey, relax, it's OK, I'm just messing with you.....she's dead...."

******
(ps, Do I get a medal now?)
Reply With Quote
(#45)
Old
Rev. M. Rodimer's Avatar
Rev. M. Rodimer Rev. M. Rodimer is offline
Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member

One Year/1000 posts Gunfest '07 True Christian™ Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager Long service medal, 3rd class Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Mission to Australia Pastor of GOD Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Ex-Masturbator Ex-Masturbator 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Public Awareness Medal True Republican Eats the Most Pork Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Christian Love Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 13,992
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Manly Jokes - 08-02-2010, 06:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by landoverlover View Post
******
(ps, Do I get a medal now?)
I believe they're working on a "witless gorm" medal.


Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
Reply With Quote
(#46)
Old
Benedict A. Davis's Avatar
Benedict A. Davis Benedict A. Davis is offline
Winning Souls in his Winnebago
True Christian™

True Christian™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Silver Tither One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus Christian Love Flat Earth Tell her once Real American™ Persecuted Teabag Patriot Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award

 
Posts: 3,893
Join Date: May 2010
Location: travelling the heartland in my Winnebago.
Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Manly Jokes - 08-02-2010, 07:39 PM

I have to stop watching the news it gets me depressed, there is bad news everywhere.
Just last night I heard stories of the world going to hell in a handbag, The American nation cow-towing to the mooselims, have to borrow money from the sand jockeys to keep the world running, no jobs for anybody, people loosing their homes....and it got worse!
It got so bad that I decided to call the suicide hotline.....and it got worse!
The hotline had been out sourced to a phone line in Pakistan...and it got worse!
When I told the guy how depressed I was and how I just didn't know how I was going to get thru it. He called over a bunch of his co workers and had me repeat my story....and it got worse!
When I was finished telling them my story all they wanted to know was if I could drive a truck!


1 Chronicles 16:15
Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.

Reply With Quote
(#47)
Old
landoverlover's Avatar
landoverlover landoverlover is offline
Also loves Jesus and America
True Christian™

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once True Christian Provider™ award Punched the most queers One Year/1000 posts Porn Resistant Pro-Life Persecuted

 
Posts: 820
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Lone Christian in pagan Oregon
landoverlover has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelandoverlover has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelandoverlover has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelandoverlover has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelandoverlover has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelandoverlover has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelandoverlover has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelandoverlover has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelandoverlover has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelandoverlover has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelandoverlover has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Manly Jokes - 08-03-2010, 03:50 AM

Q. What do you get when you cross a Mexican with a Mormon?

A. A basement full of stolen groceries.
Reply With Quote
(#48)
Old
self_abusing_sinner's Avatar
self_abusing_sinner self_abusing_sinner is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured

Full of it Bleeding heart liebral Negroe Poster Hellbound Heathen Cathlick

 
Posts: 217
Join Date: Aug 2010
self_abusing_sinner is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Manly Jokes - 08-03-2010, 05:58 AM

Why do women laugh at men?
Because they think they are smarter.

Why do men chuckle at women?
They know God gave them the power.

Why do men listen to women?
Because they are humble.

Cheers,
sas
Reply With Quote
(#49)
Old
God'sWarrior's Avatar
God'sWarrior God'sWarrior is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 15
Join Date: May 2010
Location: God's Love
God'sWarrior is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Talking Re: Manly Jokes - 08-03-2010, 06:22 AM

Want to hear a funny joke?
Womens Rights

How long does it take for a man to make dinner?
As long as it takes for him to get out the belt
.

Why did the woman cross the road?
To go to the grocery store, of coarse!


What does a beer bottle and a Woman have in common?
There both empty from the neck up.


How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry it!
Why does the bride always wear white?
Because it is good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.


How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to you.


How do you know when a woman’s about to say something smart?

  • When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
How do you fix a woman’s watch?
You don’t, there’s a clock on the oven!
Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and you’re gonna to want to shoot it.



If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog of course...at least he’ll shut up after you let him in.


What are the three fastest means of communication?
1) Internet
2) Telephone
3) Telawoman



If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
Made her chain too long


God's Warrior.

1 Samuel 15:18 And the LORD sent thee on a journey, and said, Go and utterly destroy the sinners the Amalekites, and fight against them until they be consumed.
Reply With Quote
(#50)
Old
self_abusing_sinner's Avatar
self_abusing_sinner self_abusing_sinner is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured

Full of it Bleeding heart liebral Negroe Poster Hellbound Heathen Cathlick

 
Posts: 217
Join Date: Aug 2010
self_abusing_sinner is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Manly Jokes - 08-03-2010, 07:31 AM

What do bigots and satanists call their wives?
Whore, slut, bitch, etc.

What do Christian men call their wives?
Their better half.

That's no joke either.

God bless.

sas
Reply With Quote
(#51)
Old
landoverlover's Avatar
landoverlover landoverlover is offline
Also loves Jesus and America
True Christian™

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once True Christian Provider™ award Punched the most queers One Year/1000 posts Porn Resistant Pro-Life Persecuted

 
Posts: 820
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Lone Christian in pagan Oregon
landoverlover has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelandoverlover has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelandoverlover has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelandoverlover has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelandoverlover has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelandoverlover has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelandoverlover has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelandoverlover has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelandoverlover has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelandoverlover has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelandoverlover has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Manly Jokes - 08-04-2010, 01:10 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by self_aware_sinner View Post
What do bigots and satanists call their wives?
Whore, slut, bitch, etc.

What do Christian men call their wives?
Their better half.

That's no joke either.

God bless.

sas
I thought there weren't supposed to be women or homers telling jokes here
Reply With Quote
(#52)
Old
self_abusing_sinner's Avatar
self_abusing_sinner self_abusing_sinner is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured

Full of it Bleeding heart liebral Negroe Poster Hellbound Heathen Cathlick

 
Posts: 217
Join Date: Aug 2010
self_abusing_sinner is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Manly Jokes - 08-04-2010, 03:17 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by landoverlover View Post
I thought there weren't supposed to be women or homers telling jokes here
I can appreciate this kind of humor, but, ONLY and I mean ONLY after we've established we've got a deep-seated sense of respect for women. Without that this thread is just .. evil - almost! I'm sure you do not wish to offend the Good Lord. That said, let the fun resume. I'm all for it. It's simply good fun, all round. I get it is what I'm trying to say.

sas
Reply With Quote
(#53)
Old
James Dewitt James Dewitt is offline
#63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart

True Christian™ Real American™ Christian Love Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian TC Bravery True Christian Provider™ award Platinum Tither Punched the most queers The Lord’s Witness Wound Mission to Australia One Year/1000 posts Jailed for JESUS Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Saved 1 Year Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas

 
Posts: 6,234
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Freehold, Ia
James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Manly Jokes - 08-04-2010, 03:28 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by self_aware_sinner View Post
I can appreciate this kind of humor, but, ONLY and I mean ONLY after we've established we've got a deep-seated sense of respect for women. Without that this thread is just .. evil - almost! I'm sure you do not wish to offend the Good Lord. That said, let the fun resume. I'm all for it. It's simply good fun, all round. I get it is what I'm trying to say.

sas
This section is reserved for men. Females and Homers are not allowed. exit and do not return.
Reply With Quote
(#54)
Old
self_abusing_sinner's Avatar
self_abusing_sinner self_abusing_sinner is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured

Full of it Bleeding heart liebral Negroe Poster Hellbound Heathen Cathlick

 
Posts: 217
Join Date: Aug 2010
self_abusing_sinner is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Manly Jokes - 08-04-2010, 04:18 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dewitt View Post
This section is reserved for men. Females and Homers are not allowed. exit and do not return.
You're just boiling over with lust aren't you, you greedy business man you?

=



Reply With Quote
(#55)
Old
Katander's Avatar
Katander Katander is offline
Unsaved trash, hateful eskimo savage
 
 
Posts: 101
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: In my igloo
Katander is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Katander is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Katander is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Katander is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Katander is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Katander is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Katander is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Manly Jokes - 08-04-2010, 06:10 PM

Why does Jesus make a bad hockey player?




- He keeps on getting nailed to the boards!





Psalm 14:1 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
Reply With Quote
(#56)
Old
Brother Temperance's Avatar
Brother Temperance Brother Temperance is offline
Senior Usher
True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
A very nice young man
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Long service medal, 2nd class Christian Love Saved 5 Years The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking True Heterosexual™ Ex-Christ-Killer Public Awareness Medal Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus TC Bravery Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Ex-Brit True Republican Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,644
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Manly Jokes - 08-04-2010, 06:17 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by self_aware_sinner View Post
You're just boiling over with lust aren't you, you greedy business man you?

=



What are you even trying to say there? That angry people are the same as the Devil and then someone disapproved of the fact that two other people were aroused and then someone else was shocked close to someone with a halo? Seriously, was that post even an attempt to communicate anything at all, or did you just want to look at the pretty pictures?


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
Reply With Quote
(#57)
Old
Rev. M. Rodimer's Avatar
Rev. M. Rodimer Rev. M. Rodimer is offline
Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member

One Year/1000 posts Gunfest '07 True Christian™ Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager Long service medal, 3rd class Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Mission to Australia Pastor of GOD Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Ex-Masturbator Ex-Masturbator 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Public Awareness Medal True Republican Eats the Most Pork Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Christian Love Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 13,992
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Manly Jokes - 08-04-2010, 06:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by self_aware_sinner View Post
You're just boiling over with lust aren't you, you greedy business man you?

=



Let me guess, you're a Communist and think all businesses should be owned by the Government, so you can live off "someone else's money", right?

What does all that have to do with Manly Jokes?

Eleven people were clinging precariously to a wildly swinging rope suspended from a crumbling outcropping on Mount Everest. Ten were female, one was a male. As a group they decided that one of the party should let go. If that didn't happen the rope would break and everyone would perish. For an agonizing few moments no one volunteered. Finally the male gave a truly touching speech saying he would sacrifice himself to save the lives of the others. The females applauded.


Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
Reply With Quote
(#58)
Old
self_abusing_sinner's Avatar
self_abusing_sinner self_abusing_sinner is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured

Full of it Bleeding heart liebral Negroe Poster Hellbound Heathen Cathlick

 
Posts: 217
Join Date: Aug 2010
self_abusing_sinner is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Manly Jokes - 08-04-2010, 07:07 PM

What is another term for assault victim?

Baptist family member.

Now THAT'S a manly joke harharhar

What is another term for pedophile or child molester?

Baptist gentleman

Hardyharharhar

The 'catliks' got nothing on you bunch of dirty old men mongering teenage girls like ever so much cattle. Even the young baptists look hungry for the time when they can set their sagging jowls and flappy guts into a nice piece of teen jailbait.

The devil laughs, he knows he will have plenty of customers from among the True Believers™.

Me, I feel more sad.. I guess that's compassion of sorts.

God bless,

sas
Reply With Quote
(#59)
Old
James Dewitt James Dewitt is offline
#63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart

True Christian™ Real American™ Christian Love Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian TC Bravery True Christian Provider™ award Platinum Tither Punched the most queers The Lord’s Witness Wound Mission to Australia One Year/1000 posts Jailed for JESUS Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Saved 1 Year Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas

 
Posts: 6,234
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Freehold, Ia
James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Manly Jokes - 08-04-2010, 07:17 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by self_aware_sinner View Post
What is another term for assault victim?

Baptist family member.

Now THAT'S a manly joke harharhar

What is another term for pedophile or child molester?

Baptist gentleman

Hardyharharhar

The 'catliks' got nothing on you bunch of dirty old men mongering teenage girls like ever so much cattle. Even the young baptists look hungry for the time when they can set their sagging jowls and flappy guts into a nice piece of teen jailbait.

The devil laughs, he knows he will have plenty of customers from among the True Believers™.

Me, I feel more sad.. I guess that's compassion of sorts.

God bless,

sas
Thanks ever so much for stopping by, we do enjoy your precision.
Matthew 5:10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Matthew 5:11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.

YIC James Dewitt
Reply With Quote
(#60)
Old
Seth Campbell's Avatar
Seth Campbell Seth Campbell is offline
Outdoorsman, Hunter, Fisherman, Husband, True Christian™
True Christian™

True Christian™ Heaven Bound True Christian Caucasian Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Bronze Tither TC Bravery Real American™ True Christian Provider™ award Punched the most queers Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Tell her once One Year/1000 posts

 
Posts: 1,565
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Freehold
Seth Campbell has bribed people to get these reputation points.Seth Campbell has bribed people to get these reputation points.Seth Campbell has bribed people to get these reputation points.Seth Campbell has bribed people to get these reputation points.Seth Campbell has bribed people to get these reputation points.Seth Campbell has bribed people to get these reputation points.Seth Campbell has bribed people to get these reputation points.Seth Campbell has bribed people to get these reputation points.Seth Campbell has bribed people to get these reputation points.Seth Campbell has bribed people to get these reputation points.Seth Campbell has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Manly Jokes - 08-04-2010, 07:18 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by self_aware_sinner View Post
I can appreciate this kind of humor, but, ONLY and I mean ONLY after we've established we've got a deep-seated sense of respect for women. Without that this thread is just .. evil - almost! I'm sure you do not wish to offend the Good Lord. That said, let the fun resume. I'm all for it. It's simply good fun, all round. I get it is what I'm trying to say.

sas
Well I guess you don't have to worry about the dogs biting your privates off since it doesn't look like you have any in the first place.

Quote:
Originally Posted by self_aware_sinner View Post
What is another term for assault victim?

Baptist family member.

Now THAT'S a manly joke harharhar

What is another term for pedophile or child molester?

Baptist gentleman

Hardyharharhar

The 'catliks' got nothing on you bunch of dirty old men mongering teenage girls like ever so much cattle. Even the young baptists look hungry for the time when they can set their sagging jowls and flappy guts into a nice piece of teen jailbait.

The devil laughs, he knows he will have plenty of customers from among the True Believers™.

Me, I feel more sad.. I guess that's compassion of sorts.

God bless,

sas
This from the man that ticked my wife off so much she blocked you. This morning she accidentally replied to a post and now she's so mad she's scrubbing cupboards. You have all of these preconceived notions about us in your head and absolutely nothing we say will change your mind.

Now get out of the mens section, this is for MEN, you know, people with actually functioning private parts.


PROOF: Atheists are too stupid to understand the Bible!

Proverbs 13:24(KJV): "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes."

Galatians 4:16 Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
domestic violence, fun, jokes

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2018 all rights reserved